Author: Big Mama

I talked to Sophie on the phone early Saturday afternoon and somewhere along the way we decided it was a good day to do a podcast because neither of us had much going on.

This is usually how we determine our podcast schedule:

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Wanna podcast?”

“Sure.”

It’s all very professional.

But then Sophie got a wild hair and tweeted that we were about to do a podcast and asked if anyone had any questions. And since there were about four people on Twitter, we had about four questions that we did our best to answer.

All that being said, feel free to leave any questions you might have for the next podcast in the comments because it might give us some incentive to actually get another one done in the near future.

As for this one, we talk about our favorite books, Sophie’s new book, Home is Where My People Are, that’s coming out in early February, Amy Grant songs and Tori Spelling. So, you know, all of life’s important issues.

You can click here to listen. Or here. You can even listen right here.

Or, as always, you can subscribe on iTu

Well.

This is officially the WORST Fashion Friday ever. I just spent longer than I even want to tell you finding things and getting the links and the photos and then my whole computer crashed and I lost everything except these three things.

And it’s late and I don’t have the will to search for it all again. I cannot apologize enough.

But maybe one of these three things are what you’re looking for.

1. dolman sleeve open cardigan

So maybe you’re not a little obsessed with the show Fixer Upper on HGTV like I am. If so, what is wrong with you?

The season 2 premiere was on the other night and in one scene Joanna has on something very similar to this with a tank top under it and I just thought it was the cutest. Perfect for different seasons depending on what you wear with it. And, even better, on sale right now and available in several color options.

2. phara tassel lariat necklace

I got this necklace for Christmas (Actually, I exchanged something else for this necklace) and I love it so much. It’s very versatile and you can wear it several different ways.

3. Frye phillip harness tall boots

I have long been a fan of my Frye Jackie boots, but I saw these the other day and I think they might be a new love. They’re pricey for sure, but some of you may be looking for a way to spend some Christmas money.

This is so lame, right?

Sorry about the three things. I promise to do better next week or to take my computer out and run it over in the driveway before throwing it in the trash if it ever flakes out on me like this again.

Have a good Friday.

P.S. A couple of people have asked about maternity clothes and I feel woefully inadequate to speak on this topic since I was last pregnant almost twelve years ago. But I think Nordstrom has some really cute maternity clothes just in case you want to check it out. I’d also tell you that you should never underestimate the need to get a really great pair of maternity jeans because you can wear them with almost anything.

This may be one of the shortest blog posts ever for two reasons:

1. I am cold and need to get by the fire.

2. I barely slept a wink last night and I am so tired.

If you read yesterday’s post then you’ll know that #2 means that the 4-7-8 breathing technique didn’t really work for me. Maybe what they meant was breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for seven and exhale for eight, then pop an Ambien and you’ll be asleep in no time.

And I feel stupid for complaining about the cold because it’s going to be about 26 degrees here tonight. Which I feel is practically North Pole conditions. But I had a conversation with my friend and editor, Carol at Tyndale, earlier and she said it’s like 30 below there. Apparently her eyes almost froze on the way to her car yesterday morning. So, you know, cry me a river about my twenty-six degrees because that’s what they call SPRINGTIME in Chicago.

Anyway, I won’t even bore you with details of my day because they were extraordinarily mundane even for me. It involved a lot of answering emails, filling out forms, researching insurance options and trying to figure out why eight of my eyelashes are longer than all the rest.

Then about 2:00 p.m. I got a teary call from Caroline that she wasn’t feeling good and was achy and had a sore throat and could I please come pick her up from school? So I rushed to school because she did sound really pitiful. I was really worried it might be the beginning of the flu because I feel like everyone I know has it or has had it, but she seemed to rebound after resting on the couch for a couple of hours. And I hope that holds because I’m leaving town tomorrow for a speaking thing and I hate to be away when she’s sick. It seems like last year she got sick without fail every time I was about to leave town which caused me no small amount of stress.

And now I have bored even myself to sleep. Maybe this is the real key to falling asleep. Forget the deep breathing exercises, I can just type myself to sleep because I’m so uninterested in what’s in my own head.

See y’all tomorrow for Fashion Friday.

I spent most of today trying to catch up on all kinds of things that I let slip over the holidays, many of which I’d completely forgotten about. That became evident when I received an email from my publisher on Monday asking for an update on a project that was supposed to be finished by January 1 and I had to email them back that the update was I’d completely forgotten all about it.

In my defense, I’d promised to have it finished by January 1 all the way back in November and do you know how many times I’ve slept since then?

And so I worked on a few things around here before I ran some errands and picked up Caroline from school and we ran some more errands. Then we got home and I immediately showered and put on my pajamas because I’d been out of them for over ten hours and was getting nervous about it.

Anyway, here are a few things that I want to tell you about:

1. Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life by Ruth Soukup

My friend Ruth has written the perfect book to start off a new year and chances are good that you’ve pinned at least one of her blog posts on Pinterest or shared it on Facebook. She always has great practical takeaways.

Basically, the opposite of what I offer here.

Here’s the book trailer so you can find out more. I think this is such an important message and I found so many helpful tips in her book.

2. How to fall asleep in under 1 minute

Umm. Yes, please.

I’m totally trying this tonight and I’ll let you know if it works.

Of course I told P about it after I read the article this morning and he said, “You couldn’t even remember what day is our trash day, how are you going to remember how long you’re supposed to hold your breath and exhale?”

Taylor Swift is right. Haters gonna hate.

3. Myers-Briggs and New Year’s Resolutions

My dear, sweet and patient editor, Stephanie, linked to this on Facebook and it made me laugh in light of yesterday’s post.

4. Nine most dangerous apps for kids

In case you’re like me and always trying to stay a step ahead of all the social media and what the kids are doing these days.

And so that’s it for today.

Have a great Wednesday.

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know we survived the first day back to school with little to no drama. And I even discovered that maybe it’s for the best that I’m eventually forced to live an existence that requires some productivity. I put on real clothes and accomplished more by 10:30 a.m. than I did during the entirety of Christmas vacation. If you don’t believe me, then I’ll tell you this. We had Brussels sprouts with our dinner last night. That’s how I know I’m on my A game.

I haven’t made a New Year’s resolution in years. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I made one. And I don’t ever declare a word for the year, mainly because I believe it’s just asking to have to walk that word out in real life and what if I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy on New Year’s Day and decide on a word that I deeply regret come January 17th? For me, it would just asking to potentially loathe myself for all my unbridled optimism.

And, listen, I am happy for you if you can make New Year’s resolutions or figure out a word you want to be the hallmark of your next 365 days. You are a better, more decisive person than me.

But I will tell you my New Year’s weakness.

I cannot resist the beginning of a new year to decide to start eating healthier and exercising more. And before you tell me this is a resolution, I will tell you it’s not. It’s just the cumulative effect of a month of eating like cinnamon rolls are a food group and watching a Netflix show marathon like I’m burning actual calories while I do it. So it’s not so much the new year that brings on this change as it is the smell of regret, which smells coincidentally like the six pieces of chocolate turtle cake I ate while watching bowl games.

A couple of years ago, Gulley and I embraced the clean slate to eat healthy like never before. We cut out sugar, we avoided most carbs, we ate vegetables and drank water like it was our job. I cooked dinners that involved two green vegetables as a side dish to a lean protein which is basically a feat of strength for someone who enjoys a potato almost more than words can express. We snacked on almonds and fruit. At one particularly low point, Gulley called me to tell me she’d gotten so hungry in between meals that she resorted to eating a lone hard-boiled egg as a snack.

However we agreed that as the weeks went on that we felt more energized, our skin looked better, we were sleeping better, our jeans fit looser, and, maybe most importantly, my tongue no longer looked like a person suffering from scurvy.

Then around March something happened. Maybe it was Spring Break or maybe it was when Gulley called me and said she’d made a veggie frittata for dinner and it tasted like sadness. Whatever the case, we fell into a bowl of queso and our days of popping a hard-boiled egg for a snack were over.

But, as if on cue, I spent most of this New Year’s Day on Pinterest pinning all manner of healthy recipes. Oh yes. I pinned things to help me find clean eating snacks and new ways to cook kale and more recipes than I can count that involve quinoa. And, in a moment of sheer madness and optimism, I even purposely searched for “Paleo recipes”. I found a pin for “40 Paleo Weeknight Dinners” and thought SIGN ME UP – I WILL COOK THE HECK OUT OF ALL 40 OF THOSE PALEO DINNERS.

And then I went one step further and looked at the list of things you should avoid on a Paleo diet.

Umm.

Dairy?

Oh.

Crackers?

Gah.

Legumes? But I LOVE legumes. Legumes complete me. All of a sudden I had an urge to find all the crackers and eat them with all the cheese with a side of peanuts and a Diet Coke.

Right about this same time I made myself get off Pinterest because I felt light-headed from all the hypothetical deprivation and checked Twitter to see that I’d gotten a tweet from a girl named Marti who works in Women’s Ministry at one of the churches where Sophie and I spoke last fall and she said, “I see you pinning Paleo. What the what, man?! Quit tripping. Popeye’s don’t qualify.”

It’s like she spoke wisdom into my life at just the right time. Because if a woman I spent one weekend with knows me well enough to know I’m delusional, then I should certainly know it myself. Especially since I’d actually just picked up Popeye’s for myself not even three hours earlier.

And so while, yes I’m attempting to eat healthier to start the new year, I’m also not going to set myself up for total failure (I want to make a joke about the Faileo Diet) by thinking I’d ever be able to adhere to the Paleo diet.

Like William Wallace says in Braveheart, “They may take my sugar cookies, but they’ll never take my dairy.”

Well.

Christmas break is officially over.

To make matters worse I have to act like I’m all positive and happy about it to keep Caroline from falling into a total pit of despair. Not that it’s really helped considering I had to resort to my non-nonsense standard line, “There are girls in other parts of the world who risk being killed just to go to school and get an education” by yesterday afternoon. And then I snuck off to my closet to call Gulley and whisper, “This is THE WORST! Why can’t Christmas break last forever? I don’t want to go back to the real world!”

The truth is when Caroline was little I didn’t always feel this way. I was relieved when vacation was over and it was time to send her back to preschool for a couple of days each week because it is exhausting to entertain someone who wakes up at 5:45 a.m. and insists all day that “I DO IT MYSELF!” when they have the motor skills of a monkey who’s had too much tequila. It’s like living under the regime of a dictator but with more Dora the Explorer. And so it used to be a nice break to have preschool start again after Christmas.

But now, NOW, I have discovered the beauty of having a big kid. Take heart, mothers of littles, there will come a day when your child will realize there is no point in waking up when it’s still dark outside. They will discover the beauty of a day spent doing nothing but lying on the couch watching movies and it won’t even have to be because they have the flu. They will use actual words to tell you what they want instead of just whining and pointing randomly around the room and, EVEN BETTER, they can make their own sandwich. Glorious days are ahead.

The only downside? The math homework and the science projects.

And so the end of Christmas break is a sad time because it means we are back in the world of needing to use a calendar to keep track of our activities. We’re on the fast track of getting up early, figuring out what to wear, folding laundry because pajamas aren’t acceptable in the real world, finishing our homework, getting to soccer practice and cooking real food with vegetables for dinner. It’s the worst.

Gone are the days when I felt levels of accomplishment rarely seen outside of Nobel Peace Prize winners just because I managed to cut myself off at six sugar cookies, finish a 1,000 piece puzzle, wash the bathmats and still find time to squeeze in three episodes of The Good Wife.

If you need to find me, I’ll be hiding out in my closet looking for the silver lining and trying to remember all the important things I need to do that I was purposely putting off until the new year.

Like exercising. And eating vegetables. And remembering my family needs clean clothes and groceries.