Author: Big Mama

The past few days around here have been filled with fun all around. P took Caroline hunting and Gulley’s husband and boys joined them and so they had a great time hunting while Gulley and I had a great time shopping and getting pedicures.

And I also got to go buy all new tires for my car and that’s always an exciting way to spend money. Except the opposite of that.

But I just wanted to take a minute to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving and share a few quick things that you might want and or need to complete your holiday experience.

1. How to make a pom-pom wreath

I made one of these for myself last year and loved it so much. And then Gulley asked me to make her one but I ran out of time and then it was New Year’s and what was the point?

But one of the things we did over the last two days was make a run to Michael’s to buy yarn and wreath forms and we got our craft on. I’m proud to say she is now the owner of a pom-pom wreath. And I’m in the process of making myself a pom-pom garland for my tree. It’s going to be a pom-pom Christmas around here.

This might be a fun thing to do instead of camping out in front of Best Buy to get a new T.V. at a bargain price.

2. Best ever beef stew

This is another thing I’ve learned to make courtesy of Edie. I made this beef stew last week and it is truly the best I’ve ever had. I rose up and called my own self blessed when I tasted the first bite.

I would plan to make this for when your whole family eventually mutinies against the very idea of any more turkey leftovers. Let’s be honest, turkey isn’t that great the first time around and I sure don’t need it stuffed in a sandwich for a week after.

3. Broccoli-rice casserole

I posted a picture of Cheez Whiz on Instagram this weekend and said it was beginning to look a lot like Thanksgiving and people responded with a split decision of envy and disgust. Listen, do not think you’re better than the Cheez Whiz. If it was good enough for the 1970’s then it’s good enough for you. And I personally don’t believe this casserole would be as good with real cheddar cheese. Don’t try to convince me otherwise. Bottom line, haters gonna hate.

As a bonus, the link to the broccoli-rice casserole also has the recipe for my mother-in-law’s dressing. It is absolutely delicious and contains no Cheez Whiz for you sophisticates out there.

I’ll be back on Friday with Fashion Friday.

And, like Linus, let’s take a minute to thank God for the blessings he has given us this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

If you need me for the next year, there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to find me trying to clean mud off all the various things in my life that were covered in it this weekend.

Friday was Caroline’s last day of school before the Thanksgiving holiday and the rain had already begun with the weathermen promising there was a lot more on the way. But we braved the rain to meet Mimi and Bops for Italian food and then came home and went to bed early because Caroline was scheduled to play in a soccer tournament on Saturday morning at 7:30. If you’re interested in travel math, this meant we would have to be up at 5:45 and leave our house by 6:30. In case you are new here, this is not my optimal time of day.

But it rained enough on Friday night that I really thought the tournament would be cancelled. This just goes to show that I know nothing because we checked the website at 5:45 Saturday morning and found out all the games were going on as scheduled. Which is how we found ourselves driving across San Antonio in the pitch dark and the pouring rain to go sit and watch soccer on Saturday morning. It felt like it was the middle of the night in a monsoon.

The parents watched our girls play in the rain while we all stood under a pop-up tent. The upside was at least it wasn’t cold. They were like a bunch of drowned rats chasing a ball and our team didn’t fare so well. It was like in their hearts and minds they were still snuggled up in their beds. And I totally get it. Bed would have been a far better place at that juncture.

By the time we drove back out to the fields for our second game of the day, it was like a big mud stew. In about the second minute of the game, Caroline slid right into a girl on the other team and they both fell flat in the mud. For a minute she acted like it bothered her which made me want to remind her of all the times she and Gulley’s boys have purposely made a mud puddle for themselves to slide around in. But then she seemed to embrace it and did a header even though the soccer ball was just covered with mud.

Sadly, they lost that game too but played much better and certainly had the dirt to show for it. I spent about forty-five minutes after we got home attempting to hose down my child, her uniform, her cleats, her shinguards, her backpack and all the towels we used to clean her up enough for the car ride home. And then I had to hose down myself.

After we were finally showered and clean again, we went over to Gulley’s house because look what’s been going on there.

That’s right. Two puppies. Because apparently she doesn’t read my blog or listen to what I say.

Oh I kid.

They’ve been talking about getting a puppy ever since their dog, Annie, passed away at the beginning of the summer and I told her I highly recommended getting two at once because if I end up in an asylum I’d like for her to be there with me. But, truth be told, there is something to be said for getting the puppy phase over in one fail swoop as opposed to repairing the wood frame on your back door only to have someone chew it up all over again.

So we got our puppy fix and picked up some barbecue for dinner before heading home. And then about an hour or so later, the big storm they’d been talking about all week finally hit. There was wind and rain and lightning and thunder and all I could think about was that the soccer fields were going to be even muddier for Sunday’s game.

Sure enough, when we got to the fields about 12:45 Sunday afternoon they were just one giant mud pit. We slopped through the mud to get to our field and the girls started the game a little slow as they tried to figure out how to move the ball and keep their footing.

They were down 3-0 at halftime against the team who was currently in the lead to win the whole tournament, but came back and had an amazing second half and won the game 4-3. It was the perfect way to end the fall season and they were just a little bit excited.

And more than a little muddy.

P and I did our best to rinse her off as she sat on the tailgate of my car, after we peeled off her muddy cleats and socks, using a few old towels I’d packed and the water left in her water cooler because we were heading to Bass Pro Shops right after the game to buy her a pair of snake boots to wear to the ranch.

That’s right. Snake boots. These are not boots for snakes because snakes don’t have feet. They are boots in case you inadvertently step on or near a snake that keep you from being bitten. I really can’t talk about it or explore any further scenarios.

We left Bass Pro Shops with the snake boots, some camo face paint, a squeaky rubber turkey for Piper and Mabel and a bag of kettle corn that they were selling out front. So, you know, the essentials.

When we got home I repeated the entire mud eradication system I’d done the day before and then threw everything into the washing machine. Honestly, I’m not sure any of it will ever be really clean again. Personally I wanted to just throw the socks away but P seemed shocked by that suggestion so I’ll attempt to salvage them…until he’s not paying attention and I throw them in the trash.

Once I got everything in the wash and I was showered and in my pajamas, I texted Gulley to see how their day had been and how the puppies were doing. She texted me back that she’d been cleaning the house all day and getting ready for Thanksgiving and we lamented about how puppies wake you up in the middle of the night and then she texted me this:

She also called me and left me a voicemail explaining, “I meant ME, not YOU!!!”

Which I was relieved to know even though I am well aware I wasn’t looking my best. I was just concerned I might have to change the title of my new book to “Nobody’s More Horrendous Than You”.

And I’m not sure that’s quite as endearing as the original.

First, I have to say that I loved reading your thoughts on the best and not best things about marriage yesterday. They were a perfect mix of funny, tender, true and sweet. Thanks for sharing.

Secondly, today is the beginning of our Thanksgiving holiday and I cannot even express how excited I am for us to have a week of no real schedule. It’s safe to assume we will be spending a lot of time in full relaxation mode.

Here are some cute things I found this week. There might also be a few of these that might make a good Christmas gift.

1. topshop multi-stripe cape

I love the colors in this and the stripes. And it kind of goes along with my poncho obsession. Except this is a cape. Which is slightly different because superheroes wear capes, but rarely wear ponchos.

2. serape long-sleeved sweater

This is only left in small and extra-small but I really like it and so I included it here just in case you happen to be a small or extra-small and in the market for a sweater with great colors.

3. pintucked flannel tunic

This is essentially everything I love in a shirt. Plaid? Check. Tunic length? Check. Great colors? Check.

I would totally wear this with black leggings, boots and a great cable knit infinity scarf like this one.

(By the way, the scarf comes in a lot of colors and is the perfect addition to an outfit.)

4. slubbed tee tunic

I realize this doesn’t look like much but I love tops like this to wear under sweater coats or jackets because they’re long enough to wear with leggings.

5. breezy living tunic

This is pretty. Love the feminine cutout details.

6. woven hem layered look sweater

I have no idea about this. It could either be really cute on or not. But I love what it’s trying to accomplish. And it comes in several color and pattern combinations.

7. b.p. high/low tee

I saw these tees at Nordstrom the other day and decided they are just about perfect. Gulley and I had just been discussing the need for good shirts to wear under ponchos and/or capes and this fits the bill. They come in a bunch of colors, aren’t expensive, a little bit long, and are really soft.

8. old navy floral silhouette dress

Old Navy had this dress in several different patterns when I was there this week and I thought they had potential. You could wear it with leggings and boots or tights and boots or just with flats. Whatever you prefer.

9. athleta unwind sweatshirt dress

A sweatshirt that’s a dress? Sign me up.

10. plaid blanket scarf

If you haven’t seen this scarf, then let me welcome you to the planet Earth. I feel like it’s everywhere right now and has singlehandedly taken over Pinterest. But I really love it and thought you might want to know where you can buy it.

That’s it for today.

Have a great Friday.

I’d promised myself for a long time that this week was going to be a week of rest. My last speaking engagement of the year was Sunday in West Monroe, my new book is totally finished, and I purposely didn’t put anything on my calendar for the rest of November. And so after I dropped Caroline off at school yesterday, I came home, put my pajamas back on and caught up on T.V. shows and drank coffee and talked to a few friends on the phone and just generally did whatever I felt like doing for the better part of the morning.

I finally showered and got dressed about noon and then realized I was hungry so I got out all the stuff to make a sandwich. And here’s where I need to explain that I haven’t made a sandwich in a while because Caroline is all about soup for lunch these days. I was stacking the pre-sliced ham on the pre-sliced bread before putting on a piece of pre-sliced cheese and I caught myself thinking, “Man, making a sandwich is a lot of work.”

I believe that’s what some people might call a low point.

Because you know who had to do a lot of work to make a sandwich? Caroline Ingalls. If she wanted a ham sandwich she had to go butcher a hog first. Which is significantly more work than pulling a slice of honey glazed ham out of a ziploc bag.

And so I guess my point is that after a few days of rest, I may need to regain some proper perspective about life and what constitutes hard work. Making a sandwich does not fall in that category.

So after I ate the fruits of my labor I got out and ran a few errands before I picked up Caroline from school. We came home and she didn’t have any homework because it was family night. However, she did feel the need to practice her flute for a LONG time, which really made the whole making a sandwich is hard thing in focus. The truth is she is getting much better at it, but there are only so many times you want to hear “Up On the Housetop” at the end of the day.

On a whole different note, I’m going to be on Daytime at Nine in the morning (Thursday) to talk about marriage. And when we discussed the show, they asked me to tell them my three favorite parts of being married and the three worst parts of being married. (I asked P at dinner last night and he said there is no worst part of being married to me because he is sly like a fox.)

Anyway, I think it’s a fascinating question. And so I want to know what you’d say. What are the three best and worst parts of being married? Unless you’ve never been married. In which case you can read the comments like a cautionary tale.

Maybe while eating a sandwich.

I fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillow on Monday night and didn’t wake up until the alarm went off on Tuesday morning. I only mention this because it rarely happens and it always feels like a major accomplishment even though I can’t take any credit for it because if I knew what I did to make that happen then I would do it every night for the rest of my life.

But I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day. I got Caroline up and ready for school and then let Piper and Mabel ride with us because it is one of their favorite things in the world. And to their great delight, a man wearing a helmet on a motorcycle pulled up behind us at a stoplight. You can’t even imagine the excitement this turn of events caused.

After I dropped Caroline off at school, Piper, Mabel and I came home and they sat around and watched me while I drank my coffee. Mabel was feeling especially needy and propped her head right on my knee to make sure I hadn’t forgotten she existed.

I posted that picture on Instagram and someone mentioned it looks like Mabel wants to start a blog. But I don’t know that a blog is really her thing. I think she’d be more likely to open a Tumblr account and post a lot of dramatic poetry about being in love with a city she’s never been to and in love with a dog she’s never met along with some of her favorite quotes from various philosophers. She might even include some illustrations from a comic strip she’s working on about a family of raccoons who adopted a skunk named Lola and maybe a few self-portraits of herself wearing a beret. The possibilities are really endless.

After I finished my coffee, I did some more laundry and finished my grocery store list and then I had some things to return to Old Navy because Caroline needs long sleeve t-shirts but doesn’t like any long sleeve t-shirts that exist anywhere in the world. And then I meant to go the grocery store but I got distracted and came home to regroup. The bottom line is I was very conflicted about what to cook for dinner. I have no idea why. It’s like now that the weather is cold I feel like I have so many dinner time options because of all the soups and stews and such that I am unable to make a decision. I vacillated between chicken and dumplings, jambalaya, tortellini soup, and beef stew and so I regret to inform you that I ultimately ended up cooking pork chops.

I can’t even explain what happened. It just seemed easier when it came right down to it and I decided to save the soups or the stew or the dumplings for tomorrow night. Plus P decided to take Caroline to Cavenders because she needs a new pair of cowboy boots and I wasn’t sure what time they would be finished and even as I’m typing this I can’t tell you how that really has anything to do with my decision to cook pork chops.

And they came home from Cavenders with no boots. Honestly, it validates me as a mother and a human and a shopper to know that P didn’t have any more success shopping with her than I do. She’s a little like Mabel and in love with a boot she hasn’t met yet.

We finally managed to find a pair online that appear to be possibly acceptable but we won’t know until they get here because boots are kind of a hard thing to buy without trying on, but hooray for free shipping and free returns. And the internet. How else would we have been able to look at every boot that has ever been made that comes in a size 5 1/2 or a 6? We wouldn’t have.

And that’s pretty much what’s been going on here. Or as Mabel quoted Henry David Thoreau this morning, “The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.”

She is so smart.

I got back from West Monroe late this afternoon and have spent the time since then trying to straighten up the house and do laundry and make a grocery list. I’m not sure why I feel so behind when I’ve only been gone for twenty-four hours but I’m thinking it’s because Monday is the day I am usually my best self. It’s really all downhill for the rest of the week after that.

But now my Tuesday will need to be my Monday and I need to go to the grocery store and put up laundry and wash these stupid white slipcovers that I now hate with every fiber of my being because you know what they never are? Clean.

Actually I take that back. They are clean for 2.6 seconds right after I put them back on the cushions. It’s a glorious time and for that 2.6 seconds I feel like I’m every woman.

Anyway, I had a great time being in West Monroe. Sophie and I spoke at First Baptist and everyone was so nice and the sweet lady who picked me up from the airport (Hi Joy!) even drove me through Popeye’s chicken to pick up lunch before she dropped me off at my hotel. I feel like I should clarify that she offered to take me anywhere to eat and I requested Popeye’s as soon as I realized it was an option because I like to keep it classy.

It was great to meet so many people who read here on a regular basis and I know Sophie and I were both relieved that plenty of women were there because the weather was terrible. A cold front blew in late that afternoon with rain and thunder and lightning and the whole thing. It’s not really the kind of weather that makes you think,”Hey! Let’s get out in this and go somewhere!” But people did and I was grateful because it would have been awkward to just sit and visit with Sophie all by ourselves on the stage at First Baptist.

All this to say it’s been kind of a busy couple of days and I ended up sitting on the runway in Houston for over an hour in the hottest, stuffiest plane you can imagine. I really can’t even think about it right now or I’ll start to feel claustrophobic all over again. So this all adds up to me being a little beyond tired and in need of my bed. Which is where I’m heading right now.

But I’ll be back tomorrow. Hopefully with something interesting. It seems promising since I’m going to the grocery store and we all know how exciting that can be.