Author: Big Mama

It is pouring down rain here right now. Which is great except that I completely neglected to take down the faux spider webs in our front yard, faux spider webs that have Barbies intricately entwined in them thanks to a prank some friends of ours played a few days before Halloween. Obviously I decided to leave the Barbies there because what says HALLOWEEN HORROR like Beauty Shop Barbie fighting for her life in the shrubbery outside our home?

But even though the rain is going to make those spider webs and Barbies a big pain to remove, I’m so thankful for it. It’s been so dry here for so long that I’ll never take rain for granted again. Plus the puppies will be so happy for the opportunity to turn our back yard into one giant mud pit since they have long ago destroyed any grass that used to grow there.

Which reminds me that a few of you have asked how my white couch has fared since the puppies arrival. I’m going to shoot straight. It’s not good. It has fought the good fight and kept the faith but I’m afraid it isn’t going to win the race. I was lamenting the state of our couch the other day after I washed all the slipcovers for the sixty-third time this month and P asked, “Now tell me again why you ever thought we were a white couch family?”

I have no idea. But I think at least some of the blame lies directly on Pinterest and the way it lured me in with all the pins of lovely white couches and people touting how easy it is to just throw the slipcovers in the wash with some Oxy-clean and bleach. Yes. That is super easy. For people who want to take the time to wash slipcovers on a regular basis. As it turns out, I am not one of those people. I want a couch that just sits there and looks good without any real effort on my part.

When I was growing up, my Me-Ma had these couches in her living room that were made out of some sort of vinyl or something. They always reminded me of elephant skin and if you ever fell asleep on one of them it was a given that you’d have to peel yourself off it. I never really understood why she had those couches until now. I guarantee you could wipe those suckers down with a damp cloth and call it a day. There’s something to be said for a little practicality. Or a lot of practicality. Especially if you’re married to a landscaper, have a child who eats chocolate and adopted two dogs that are insane.

The short version of this story is I’m in the market for a new couch.

In completely unrelated news, P and Caroline went hunting earlier this evening and I decided it was a fine occasion to pick up some Popeye’s chicken for my dinner. I am such a fan of the three piece spicy combo with mashed potatoes, but no one in my family loves it like I do. P would say it’s because they have standards, but whatever. Popeye’s is delicious.

Anyway, I came home with my chicken, thoroughly pleased with myself, and turned on an episode of Friends to enjoy whilst I ate my spicy chicken tenders.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I need to let you know this was at 4:45 p.m. In my defense, I never ate lunch and felt this justified both the eating of the fried chicken and the early hour.)

(I also feel the need to tell you that I changed into my pajamas before I ate the chicken. Clearly, I’m out of control.)

So I’m watching Friends (the one where Joey is being interviewed by Soap Opera Digest and Rachel wants him to mention “Gal Pal Rachel Green”) and I take a bite of my chicken and notice something feels weird. Do not be alarmed. I am not about to tell you I bit into a rat or something. The permanent retainer behind my top front teeth broke loose on one side. It was all I could do to enjoy the rest of my dinner because I now have a loose wire inside my mouth.

I thought about trying to pry the whole thing off, but I’m worried that might screw something up. As it is, I’ll hardly sleep tonight for worrying about my teeth shifting and messing with that loose wire with my tongue. It’s like I developed a new hobby in the last three hours.

So I guess I’ll be calling the orthodontist in the morning to get my retainer fixed. At least it’s something simple and fairly painless. Which is probably more than Barbie can say as she sits out in the rain, wrapped in a faux spider web.

This is kind of a crazy week for me because I’m finishing up edits on the book and have two different speaking engagements. I’m also haven’t been sleeping great at night because my allergies are trying to kill me dead. So here’s just a few things you need to know about:

1. Kelly Minter’s new Bible Study on 1,2, and 3 John

I believe I have mentioned how much I love Kelly Minter. Her book, Wherever the River Runs, stands as one of the most inspirational books I’ve ever read. And I’ve loved all of her Bible studies, which is why I am so excited she has a new one that came out on November 1 on 1,2, and 3 John. You can read her blog post about it here.

And here’s the video for it.

You can buy What Love Is: The Letters of 1, 2, 3 John right here or in your local LifeWay store.

2. Forever Mom: What to Expect When You’re Adopting by Mary Ostyn

My friend Mary Ostyn and her husband have adopted six children over the years after having four biological children and this makes her a little bit of an expert on the subject of bringing an adopted child into your home. For any of you who are considering adoption or actually walking through it, this book is a must read full of so much practical information from someone who has been there.

You can find it here on Amazon and here at Barnes and Noble.

3. Chicken-Fried Steak Recipe

Several of you asked for my chicken-fried steak recipe. I’ve tried several over the years but this one from Southern Living is my favorite. We actually use deer steaks instead of beef at our house but it’s equally delicious either way, just make sure your steaks are good and tenderized before you batter them. Life is too short to deal with chewy chicken-fried steak. I believe Willie Nelson first said that.

Chicken-Fried Steak

1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
4 (4 ounce) cube steaks
38 saltine crackers (1 sleeve), crushed
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, divided
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt, divided
1 1/2 tsp pepper, divided
1/2 tsp ground red pepper
4 3/4 cups milk, divided
2 large eggs
3 1/2 cups peanut oil or canola oil

Sprinkle salt and pepper evenly over steaks. Set aside.

Combine cracker crumbs, 1 cup flour, baking powder, 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp black pepper and red pepper.

Whisk together 3/4 cup milk and eggs. Dredge steaks in cracker crumb mixture, dip in milk mixture and dredge in cracker mixture again. Repeat this step if you like a thicker crust. (I do.)

Heat oil in large cast-iron skillet or just a heavy skillet. Heat to 360 degrees or medium-high heat. Fry steaks about 3-4 minutes on each side until golden brown. Remove to a wire rack and keep steaks warm in a 225 degree oven. Carefully drain hot oil and reserve cooked pieces and 1 tablespoon drippings in the skillet.

Whisk together remaining 1/4 cup flour, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon black pepper (You can add more pepper to taste. That’s what I do.) and 4 cups of milk. Pour mixture into reserved drippings in skillet; cook over medium-high heat, whisking constantly 10 to 12 minutes or until thickened. Serve gravy with steaks and mashed potatoes.

That’s it for today. See you tomorrow.

Well. I’m sure you will all be relieved to know that Caroline’s fangs managed to survive until Halloween.

But I bought her and her friend a pair of wax fangs as a back up plan.

They were genuinely surprised that the wax fangs didn’t taste good. And I wasn’t genuinely surprised that I found wax fang remnants on my coffee table the next morning.

We had a fun Halloween. Nothing special, just the usual handing out candy and trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. I counted at least 463 Elsas before Let It Go became imbedded in my subconscious yet again.

After we handed out candy for a while, P and I followed Caroline and her friend as they made their way to all the houses on our street. Then we came to a house with a big poster board sign declaring it had a “Haunted House” and so I told P, “Go with the girls into this Haunted House! It will be fun!”

My reasons for this were two-fold:

1. I figured it was a homemade haunted house in someone’s garage. How scary could it be?

2. I can barely walk into Party City during Halloween season and cannot tolerate any type of haunted house, no matter how lame it may be, so it made sense to send P in with them.

As it turns out, it was a little more intense than what I envisioned. I thought it was going to be one of those things where you put your hand in a shoebox and think you’re feeling brains or intestines or something. Perhaps there would be a scary witch in the corner in a rocking chair. Maybe, MAYBE, a freaky clown. I guess my assumptions were based on the fact that I’m a child of the 70’s and that’s about as scary as it came in my childhood. Or at least as scary as I was allowed to see given that the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz flat freaked me out.

But I could tell by the way the girls were hanging on to P’s arm as they came walking out of the haunted house that this had been a little more serious. Apparently there was a chainsaw. And Michael Myers. And someone dressed as a girl from some horror movie that I obviously never saw. And maybe someone rolled what looked like a human head at them as they left.

Please let me know if you’d like to see a photo of my trophy for Mother of the Year.

The good news is they only seemed to be temporarily traumatized and then began to build it into the greatest adventure of their young lives as we made our way to the other houses on the street. Meanwhile, I was mentally composing a text apology to Caroline’s friend’s mother.

By the time we made it back to our house about forty-five minutes later, they declared the whole night a huge success as they sorted all their candy on the living room floor and were telling and re-telling about all the excitement of the haunted house. P even took Caroline down to the house again after her friend left because they wanted to get the story of how they made such a great haunted house out of what appeared to be an ordinary garage.

Thankfully, her friend went home with glowing reviews of the whole night and reported she “LOVED” the haunted house and so my apology was met with a gracious, “Are you kidding? She loved it!” I guess I was projecting my own haunted house issues onto the situation.

But my favorite part was later that night as Caroline, P and I sat on the couch while she breathlessly replayed every single detail of the haunted house adventure and finished with, “And I felt so bad for R because she wanted to run but couldn’t because of her giant shoes!”

You can see where they might be problematic if you find yourself needing to make a fast getaway.

First of all, thank you for all the dress suggestions yesterday. I’ll keep you posted on my dress finding progress as the situation unfolds.

Secondly, I saw an article on Twitter yesterday announcing that Lynda Carter of Wonder Woman fame is coming to San Antonio soon. The headline read “The Real Wonder Woman Headed to San Antonio!”

But what that journalist didn’t know is the real Wonder Woman is already in San Antonio.

There’s the picture of Gulley as Wonder Woman that you wanted to see.

You’re welcome.

Here are a few things I found this week:

1. dance the night away sequin dress

I think this would be great for the Christmas season. I’m a big fan of sequins and the holidays.

2. happy trails cocoon cardigan

I really like this. Perfect with jeans for a casual occasion or black pants or skirt to dress it up for the office.

3. embrace yourself poncho

I can’t stop with the ponchos. And apparently I’m not alone because there are only nine of these left at Modcloth.

4. zigzagging across town coat

This coat. It made me swoon a little when I saw it.

5. warm and fuzzy coat

As did this one.

I want all the coats. Sadly, I live in all the heat.

6. flecks mark the spot sweater

This sweater seems a little blah until you see the back. Gives it a little something extra.

7. ecote textured open knit cardigan

All sweaters at Urban Outfitters are 25% until November 11 and this is one of my favorites. You better make haste if you see one you like though because I had two others I was going to feature today and they’re already completely sold out.

This comes in other colors, but I’m partial to this one.

8. ecote duster cardigan

This is at Urban Outfitters so it’s 25% off. And it comes in other colors.

9. vigoss gray skinny jeans

Of all the things I’ve added to my wardrobe in the last few weeks, these are my favorite. They fit like a dream and are so soft that they feel more like wearing leggings than jeans. Plus I can wear them all day long and they never get baggy at the knees.

10. gap primaloft puffer vest

I love these puffer vests from Gap. Mainly because I am a sucker for a faux fur hood.

That’s it for today.

Have a happy Halloween and just remember there is no shame in stealing candy from people you brought into this world.

You know what we never talked about?

That I went to just about every store I could think of last week looking for a dress and walked away empty handed. I finally came to the conclusion that I’ve aged out of the dress market after I tried on yet another garment that was short enough that it left me wondering if it was a dress or a shirt.

The truth is I haven’t shopped for a dress in a long time because my life really doesn’t require dresses anymore. Back when I was a pharmaceutical sales rep I had an array of sensible daytime dresses, but now I mainly have a stockpile of yoga pants and leggings. In fact, the last time I cleaned out my closet I noticed I am down to two dresses total and neither of them are necessarily just a nice, classic daytime dress. Which is why I decided I was going to embark on a dress-finding excursion.

Columbus discovered America. I had big dreams of discovering a fabulous yet comfortable and practical dress.

But, much like being able to get the puppies to listen to me, this dream has proven to be elusive.

Feel free to offer any suggestions. Here are my requirements: It must be reasonably priced, it can’t be sleeveless or cap-sleeved, it can’t be mistaken for a shirt, and it can’t have elastic around the waist.

May God be with you.

I really don’t have anything to tell you today except that I made chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and cream gravy for dinner and I fell in love with my own self it was so good. I would have taken a picture except we were too busy eating.

But here’s something exciting, there’s a giveaway today and a quick reminder about the photo contest I have going on.

1. The sweet girls at The Canvas Boutique wanted to do another giveaway. In addition to their fabulous canvases, they also do personalized paper prints. You can see the whole collection here.

They are giving away FOUR 18×24 Holiday paper prints. The winners will be able to select the Holiday print of their choice.

Look how cute some of the options are.

They’re also offering $15 off all of their Holiday paper print sizes from October 28 until November 4th. They come in sizes ranging from 16×20 to 24×36 and they are all so cute. Plus, custom canvases are currently 15% off with code SHIPLASTCHANCE at checkout.

For a chance to win one of the four holiday prints, just leave a comment on this post. I’ll leave comments open until this Sunday, November 2 and then choose four winners at random.

2. I cannot even tell you how much fun I’ve had looking through all the pictures and reading all the stories you have sent in for the Nobody’s Cuter Than You book trailer and promos.

If you haven’t sent in your entry yet, you still have until this Friday, October 31st! And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can read all the details here.

That’s it for today. Have a lovely Wednesday.