Author: Big Mama

  • This, that and college football season

    Well yesterday was quite a day. Mainly because it was a Monday. And I had to go the grocery store because, while we had plenty of snack-type foods, we were sorely lacking in actual things that make up a real meal. Like Honey Nut Cheerios and pretzel sticks and vegetables.

    So today is just going to be a quick list of things that I want to share with the group. You may think I am totally worthless for posting some kind of list when it’s only a Tuesday and that I should be more creative. And to that I say YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT.

    But it was 112 degrees here yesterday so don’t hassle me. I’m local.

    1. Speaking of the heat, I got in my car to pick up Caroline from school and the digital thermometer read 127 degrees. And then it exploded.

    Not really. But that would have been an awesome story.

    2. About a month or so ago, Angie Smith wrote a beautiful post called Honeysuckle and Fireflies about her neighbor who loves to play baseball.

    It made me cry and I cried all over again yesterday when I read this post about Norris the Atlanta Brave. God is so good.

    3. My whole week was made when I saw that Sophie is going to be hosting a DipTacular this Wednesday just in time for the start of college football season. You can read all the details right here.

    For those of you not familiar with a DipTacular, it’s simply the greatest way to discover all manner of new things to dip your chips in.

    4. Did someone say college football? Listen. SEC or no SEC. Whatever. (Not really whatever because I really want the SEC thing to happen, but I’m being coy.)

    The bottom line is the Aggies start their season in just a few short days. Gig’em.

    It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

    5. And while we’re on the topic of wonderful, did any of y’all see Adele on the VMA awards? If you missed it you can watch it here.

    In a world of people hatching out of eggs to make a statement, I believe this makes it obvious what talent really looks like. Amazing.

    That’s it for today.

    Stay classy.

  • I really should just yada yada this whole weekend

    Before I talk about the weekend, I would like to give a big thank you to P for understanding there was absolutely no way I could cook last night given that it was 111 degrees outside. The only reason anyone would want to heat up the oven under those circumstances would be if they just needed to stick their head in it to get a break from the real heat. Please join me in giving P a slow handclap like they do in the movies at really dramatic moments.

    Caroline rode with me to pick up Mexican food from our favorite Mexican place. We’d gotten our food and were headed back home when we saw flashing police lights ahead and saw a car being pulled over. She whispered, “Just act casual, Mama. Just act casual.” It was as if we’d just held up a bank as opposed to picking up some chips and guacamole.

    On Friday morning I woke Caroline up for school and she was a little groggy. I reminded her it was Friday and the beginning of the weekend. She replied, “OH NO! I’M SAD! I LOVE SCHOOL!” So we sent her out for DNA testing and should get the results back in 2-3 weeks.

    In reality, I’m thrilled she is so pleased with school this year. It makes life easier for so many reasons. After school on Friday she and P left to go to the ranch and hunt pigs. Shockingly, I chose to stay home and drink wine with Gulley instead of stomping through a bunch of cactus in 110 degree heat.

    When they arrived home around midnight, she was thrilled to report that she killed two pigs with one shot. That’s an impressive feat for anyone and pretty much solidified that P knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has the coolest daughter ever.

    (I cropped the pigs out of this picture. Consider that an early Christmas gift.)

    You know what I did on Friday nights when I was a third grader? I have no idea. But I guarantee it didn’t involve killing two pigs with one shot. Chances are good it involved trying out new braids on my Beauty Secrets Barbie.

    We all slept in on Saturday morning and then went over to Gulley’s to watch The Pioneer Woman’s new cooking show on Food Network. Which led me to have an intense craving for chicken fried steak that won’t go away. And that’s a shame since I’m in a season of forgoing fatty foods due to my metabolism breaking up with me right before my 40th birthday.

    Saturday night we had some friends come over that we hadn’t seen in forever. Mainly because they had triplets two years ago and we were afraid it might be contagious. Oh I kid. Life just gets busy and we were always going in two different directions. But it was so good to catch up on life and they even brought over one of the best chocolate cakes I’ve ever eaten. EVER.

    AND they left it with us because they said they’re both on a diet. So we each ate one more piece yesterday and then threw it in the trash, THE OUTSIDE TRASH, lest we be tempted to dig it back out later on. Don’t judge. It happens.

    Sunday morning we went to church where I almost passed out from heat exhaustion after standing outside trying to sign women up for fall Bible study. When we finally walked through the door I announced I wouldn’t be leaving the air-conditioning for the rest of the day even though Caroline was begging me to take her to Forever 21 because some girl in her class bought an owl necklace there that has a clock built into the owl’s stomach. FANCY.

    But since I am a mean mom prone to heat exhaustion and crowd-driven panic attacks, I told her the necklace would have to wait for another day. So we settled in and had a movie marathon. One of us may have dozed off for thirty minutes or two hours.

    Which was just as well because I was told I wasn’t allowed to sing along to The Little Mermaid. And how am I supposed to avoid that temptation unless I’m asleep?

    So that was our weekend. Next time I’ll make something up if I can’t come up with anything better than this.

    You’re welcome.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition top ten fall trends, part two

    So remember two weeks ago when I wrote about fall trends and then last week when I dropped the ball and didn’t continue the discussion? Yes, me too. But I’ve recovered and had time to assess the fall fashions and consult the experts and I’m now ready to discuss the last five trends for fall.

    In case you missed the first five trends you can go check it out right here.

    6. capes and ponchos

    No, I’m not kidding. Please don’t shoot the messenger on this one. Capes and ponchos. Batman is obviously thrilled by this news.

    And honestly, I can get on board the poncho train. Maybe not the cape train, but definitely the poncho express.

    I don’t know what that means.

    However, I really like this snow nymph cape. Yes, that’s its real name. The snow nymph cape.

    “Honey, I’ll be there just as soon as I throw on my snow nymph cape.”

    Sometimes its hard to take the fashion world seriously.

    If you’re wanting more of a Sherlock Holmes look, there is the calhoun cape.

    Side effects may include walking around and saying “Elementary, my dear Watson”.

    But I’m more of a fan of this cabled cocoon poncho or this stripe oversize poncho. They just seem a little more practical than a cape for every day use. But, then again, that’s why I’m not a super hero. Well, that and my inability to fly or leap tall buildings in a single bound.

    And then in the category of not really a poncho or a cape is this darling cairngaan point cardigan that I bought on sale at Anthropologie yesterday.

    It’s beautiful in person and a steal as far as Anthropologie and sweater coats go.

    7. faux fur

    Yes, faux fur continues to be a big trend. And I will refrain from telling the sad story about the awesome faux fur leopard print coat I had back in 2001 that was stolen out of my car in a parking garage in downtown Austin.

    Oops. Too late. I told the story. You’d think after ten years I’d be over it, but you’d be wrong.

    I think this leopard faux fur jacket is really cute if you’re a fan of animal prints. I believe they add a little zip to any wardrobe.

    Or you could go with something like this coyote faux fur vest. I wonder if Rick Perry made one of these for his wife after he shot that coyote while jogging? Also, I’m not sure why we need to resort to faux coyote fur. It’s not like coyotes are endangered. As a matter of fact, we have so many of them living in the woods by our house that our neighborhood has experienced a substantial decline in pet cats.

    And if you don’t want to commit to a lot of faux fur, you can always find a great jacket with a faux fur collar. It’s subtle and understated. Like Caroline’s ALL ABOUT ME poster.

    That’s probably enough about fur. We all know what it looks like by now.

    8. stacked heels

    Whether it’s on a bootie or a tall boot or a loafer, stacked heels are totally in. The stacked loafer totally reminds me of some shoes I wore constantly during my first job after college. They were black loafers with a really high heel and, between those and my fancy suit from Casual Corner, I don’t know that I’ve ever felt more sophisticated.

    These braden boots are to die for.

    But if you’re looking for a bargain, look no further than your local Target. These keeley booties are really cute and so are these kainda slouchy heeled boots.

    I’m also excited that they have the knock-off version of Frye Harness boots again this year.

    9. pendant necklaces

    I enjoy the pendant necklaces because they’re a clean, simple look to add to an outfit.

    I’ve been eyeing this round wheel pendant necklace for a few weeks now.

    I also like this embellished cross necklace.

    And you can’t go wrong with either this reflections pendant necklace or this new penny clock pendant necklace.

    10. midi skirts and dresses

    I’ll just go ahead and state for the record that I am not a fan of this length. I think skirts and dresses should either hit above the knee, at the knee or head on down to your ankles. I believe the midi length can take you to Frumpy Town faster than you can blink. And don’t confuse Frumpy Town with Funky Town. Two totally different things.

    But it’s a legitimate trend and I feel like I need to mention it.

    There’s this plaid high low mid skirt.

    And I can kind of get on board with this ella moss liberty dress.

    This nanette lepore gemini dress is really gorgeous.

    You may be asking, where are the affordable midi length options? These things are all way too expensive.

    And to that I will tell you to count that as a blessing. It’s God’s way of keeping you from visiting Frumpy Town. Because apparently Frumpy Town can be expensive.

    There you have it. The trends for fall.

    Y’all have a great Friday.

  • The heat and the crafts have made me cranky

    I’ve really tried hard not to complain about the heat. And I’m sure there are at least sixteen of you reading this, shaking your head and thinking “REALLY? TRY HARDER NEXT TIME”. But, y’all, it is so hot. This isn’t that different from every August in South Texas in the history of forever, but it’s compounded by the fact it’s been steadily hitting 100 degrees every day since late May.

    Now, as if things couldn’t get worse, we’re headed towards Stage 3 watering restrictions and the temperatures are forecasted to be as high as 107 degrees on Saturday. That’s not an exaggeration. Remember the days when I’d say it was like 143 degrees yesterday and we’d all laugh like HA HA that could never happen? I’m afraid it might be a possibility at this point.

    So I guess I’m going to spend some time outside today and Friday and enjoy the cool 100 degree weather before it gets really hot on Saturday.

    And I hate to sound cold and heartless but I’ve decided to go ahead and give up the fight to keep the plants in the urns on my front porch alive. I made a valiant effort, but there are times you just gotta let that dead horse lie. Or dead liriope lie. Whatever.

    In a supreme act of faith that God will have mercy on us, I bought a sweater coat and a jacket yesterday. Not a heavy jacket, mind you. I’m not insane. Just a nice lightweight blazer-type jacket. I plan to wear them just as soon as the temps get down to a frigid 85 degrees.

    Gulley and I spent the day shopping. It was our last hurrah before she goes back to work at preschool next week so we made a big day of it. We met at Starbucks right at 9:00 a.m. and walked through the doors of Nordstrom Rack at precisely 9:42. I found a long maxi skirt that I think I’ll love just as soon as I figure out what to wear with it and the aforementioned sweater coat and jacket.

    We ate lunch at Nordstrom because they have those skinny fries with the olive aioli dip that I’m sure will be served in heaven and then we headed home because it was time to pick the kids up from school.

    I got Caroline and we headed straight to Michael’s since the first school project of the year is due this Friday. It’s an ALL ABOUT ME poster. I’d forgotten or perhaps mentally blocked out that our teacher is a BIG FAN of letting the kids get their craft on in the form of multiple projects that require pipe cleaners and glue and even the dreaded glitter.

    We walked in the store and Caroline was immediately distracted by all the Halloween decorations. All of a sudden the ALL ABOUT ME poster was forgotten in her need to acquire some sort of battery-operated spider that drops down on your Halloween guests. I sensed that we were getting off-track and that I needed to get this train back on the rails if I had any hope of getting out of there before I blacked out from the sight of all those craft supplies.

    “You have ten minutes to find what you want for your poster. TEN MINUTES. Then we’re leaving.”

    “Does that count the time it will take me to go to the bathroom?”

    “Why? Do you need to go?”

    “Yes. I really do. Right now.”

    Did you know that Michael’s has passcode protection on their bathroom doors. They do. It’s very convenient. I’m not totally sure why but I’ve always suspected that people who enjoy crafts might also occasionally shoplift a skein of yarn or something just to keep things interesting.

    Eventually she picked out all her supplies and we came home with the tools to make an ALL ABOUT ME poster that will make a Vegas showgirl say, “Wow. It’s a little flashy”. But that’s how we roll.

    Subtle and understated.

    That’s right in our wheelhouse.

    Just like Charo on those old episodes of The Love Boat.

  • Sometimes I miss the rotary dial

    Yesterday afternoon I was talking on the phone to Gulley. We were just about to hang up when my phone cut me off and that’s when I noticed it had the spinning circle of death on the screen. Which really came as no surprise considering that my two-year-old iPhone has gotten to the point where it holds a charge for all of thirty minutes.

    So I plugged it into the wall to charge, but when I came back thirty minutes later it still had the spinning circle thing. I tried to turn it off and it didn’t work. I hooked it up to my computer. Nothing.

    This is a little embarrassing to admit but I began to wonder how long I was going to be without my phone. I felt like I’d just lost something very important like my favorite pair of jeans or one of my arms. And I thought about how these things never happened back in the day when phones were attached to a wall and had that twisty cord that you could twirl around and around and around your finger while you talked to that cute boy from Pre-Algebra who finally called you.

    I had no idea what to do now that all my communication with the outside world had been cut off and so I figured I’d call Gulley to ask her how to fix my phone. But first I had to plug in our home phone. We unplugged it about a month ago because no one ever calls us on our home phone except solicitors or “sailors” as Caroline calls them since they are just trying to “sail” you something. (No, I don’t have a strong accent. Why do you ask?)

    Anyway, I wasn’t going to call Gulley because she has some sort of expertise in the field of iPhones. In fact, she carried a plain old flip phone until some time last year when it finally just broke in two pieces. It’s just my natural response to call Gulley anytime any sort of crisis arises. And while she is wonderful at giving all sorts of life advice on many subjects, she was no help at all in this situation. Although she did ask her husband and he suggested I take out my SIM card and put it back in.

    The only problem is that solution made the assumption I know how to take out the SIM card in the first place.

    I looked for some place to take out a battery or something and was about to resort to my standard, highly technical method of fixing things and just bang it really hard on the countertop. And, if that didn’t work, maybe throw it through the window.

    Because all I knew is that there was no way I was going to walk into the Apple store and go up to the Genius Bar with my sad little generation ANCIENT iPhone 3. Oh the mockery and sneering that would ensue. And that would just be from my fellow customers.

    I’m still not over the humiliation of going into the AT&T store last spring to buy a new case for my phone and being told in a stage whisper, “We keep the cases for the iPhone 3s in the back.” They obviously did not want to taint their showroom with any type of antiquated cases from 2010.

    Ultimately, I recalled that Gulley suggested I might want to check the Google and see if I could find a help site. So I googled “Walking in shame that I still have an iPhone 3 and now it won’t turn off or die. Help me.”

    And this is why the internet is such a handy, modern device. I immediately found a message board where various folks were mocking some poor soul who stored a lot of photos on his iPhone only to have it die and lose all his pictures, but in the midst of all that mockery I saw that someone suggested he put his phone in recovery mode by pressing the HOME button and POWER button simultaneously and holding them for fifteen seconds.

    I tried it. And TA-DA it worked.

    I realize this is probably the most uninteresting thing you’ve read in a long time, but it’s the most interesting thing that happened to me yesterday so imagine how I feel.

    And now I’m off to play Words with Friends because you don’t know what you’ve got until you think it might be gone.

    Goodbye.

  • Third grade

    Stop.

    Seriously? Third grade.

    How did that happen? Especially considering she was born two days ago. And I’ll blink and it will be time for Christmas vacation and then she’ll be packing up her car and heading out for college.

    Oh I know. I’m being dramatic. But not nearly as dramatic as I was last year. My word, I went back and read last year’s post about second grade and wanted to tell myself to REIGN IT IN LUCY. However, I do think all my initial instincts about last year proved to be mostly right. Second grade will not go down as my favorite.

    (Smiling is my favorite.)

    (That has nothing to do with anything but I had an Elf moment and went with it.)

    (Also, P is watching some show called The Blue Planet about what lives in the Deep Sea and I’m having a hard time keeping a train of thought going for all the freaky things that live way down deep in the ocean.)

    (It has solidified my goal to never scuba dive. It’s just asking to be a part of the food chain.)

    Okay, third grade. I believe I mentioned that we found out at the end of last year that Caroline was going to get to have her first grade teacher again this year. And that brought much joy and happiness to our house because she is the kind of teacher that you wish could just follow your child all the way through twelfth grade. So I had absolutely no anxiety about this new school year. Which is remarkable considering I can work up some anxiety about which kind of bread to buy at the grocery store.

    And Caroline was beside herself with excitement to begin another year with Miss C. In fact, while I made her pose for an interminable number of pictures yesterday morning, I asked “Are you ready for third grade?”

    And in response she struck this pose and yelled “GIDDY UP!”

    I believe that means yes.

    P and I walked into school, kissed her goodbye, took a few more pictures and walked away with nary a tear. Because it all felt great. Until I realized it was time to pay the summer piper and Couch to 5K some of the bean and cheese nachos I ate for the last three months at the pool.

    But then I met Gulley and we did some shopping and ate some lunch and discussed multiple topics of conversation without one single interruption. It’s amazing the ground we can cover when not refereeing arguments or doling out snacks. After lunch I made a quick trip to HEB and engaged in a sport I like to call HOW FAST CAN YOU GET HOME BEFORE THE MILK GOES BAD BECAUSE IT’S SO HOT THAT STANDING UNDER A HAIR DRYER MIGHT SEEM REFRESHING?

    Finally it was time to go pick up Caroline from school. She bounced out with her arms around two of her girlfriends and declared it “THE BEST FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL EVER” especially because they “hardly had to write AT ALL today”. Yes, that’s the best measure of a good day.

    We met some friends for ice cream, then came home and I spent the rest of the afternoon watching her tear around our house with a degree of energy that would make a tasmanian devil on amphetamines wish he had that kind of zeal for life. At one point she actually stood on top of the dining room table and I had to ask if she’d lost her mind.

    She told me she couldn’t help it but she was just SO EXCITED about school.

    And that makes me happy.

    But I’m still going to need her to get off the dining room table.