Author: Big Mama

  • A list of seven things

    Normally it’s at least Thursday before I lose my ability to compile all my thoughts and musings into one incredibly long, slightly boring, cohesive blog post. But I have had one of those days where unimportant things have driven me slightly out of my mind and left me feeling a wee bit irritable and slightly weepy. I am a treasure to be around in person right now if you don’t mind the occasional growl or tearful outburst.

    But on to happier, shinier things!

    1. On Friday night, after recovering from the joy of Blizzard 2011, P and I went to see True Grit. It was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. Not that I’ve recently seen many movies that don’t involve animated characters, but, still, great movie and great performances.

    I especially loved the little girl who played Mattie Ross. And tried to not let myself be distracted by the man behind us who kept whispering loudly to his date, “THAT GIRL IS JERRY SEINFELD’S DAUGHTER. SHE’S SEINFELD’S DAUGHTER.”

    Sir, her name is Hailee Steinfeld. Steinfeld. With a t.

    2. Over the years I have mentioned HEB once or eight million times on this blog. And many of you who hail from other parts of the United States and, lo, even, THE WORLD, never fail to ask how it’s pronounced and why it is such a prominent feature in my life.

    Here’s a commercial that aired during the Super Bowl that should answer all your questions.

    I love it just a little.

    Also, I’ll tell you what else we wouldn’t have without HEB, any place to grocery shop besides Walmart.

    3. Some of you emailed yesterday and asked if I was starting to moderate comments. The answer is no. There is some sort of glitch with the flux capacitor in my comment section and it’s causing WordPress to hold some comments until I approve them.

    We here at Big Mama, Inc. are working furiously behind the scenes to remedy this issue. Which means that we aren’t really doing anything about it but hoping it just magically fixes itself. Also, there’s no one here but me.

    4. They are forecasting COLD RAIN for first thing this morning. COLD RAIN. As if we can’t figure that out by virtue of the fact that it’s going to be 37 degrees and rainy.

    5. I’m over second grade homework. I don’t believe second graders should have homework unless they are woefully behind. It’s not like they’re taking the SAT next week. They’re seven.

    6. A reminder for my San Antonio area peeps, Priscilla Shirer is going to be here February 25-26th for a Going Beyond event. You really don’t want to miss it. She is an amazing speaker.

    7. See y’all tomorrow.

  • Stanley the snowman was a jolly, spicy soul

    So last week was all about the ARCTIC BLAST hype. Temperatures in the teens and twenties. ICE. SNOW. PERIL. WRAP YOUR PIPES. FROSTBITE. HUMANITARIAN CRISIS.

    At first I didn’t believe the talk of snow because I’ve lived here long enough to know that it’s an annual winter tradition for the weathermen to talk about the possibility of snow and then crush your hopes and dreams to the ground. It’s also rumored they tell kids the tooth fairy isn’t real in their spare time.

    But as the week went on and they continued to talk about 3-5 inches of snow, my ice cold, cynical, grinchy heart couldn’t help but melt a little. And I rang my little bell and whispered, “I believe, I believe, I believe” to myself over and over again. Suddenly, I had no doubt that we would see snow by the end of the week even though there hasn’t been an accumulation of snow in San Antonio since 1985. I was in eighth grade. And didn’t even live here. I lived in Beaumont and remember feeling bitterness towards all the San Antonio children who were experiencing a snow day while I toiled away diagramming sentences in Mrs. Cohen’s English class.

    By last Thursday night, the weathermen were starting to back off their 3-5 inch snow predictions like rats leaving a sinking ship. They all changed their estimates to a trace to 1/2 inch of snow. And we all know that “trace” is just fancy weatherman speak for “covering our rear ends”.

    We went to bed around 10:30 that night, just as icy rain began to fall. That’s all fine and good, but icy rain isn’t snow. No one has ever built a snowman out of icy rain.

    Friday morning I woke up early and looked out the window. At first glance I couldn’t really see anything that looked like snow, mainly because there wasn’t really enough accumulation from BLIZZARD 2011 to cover the grass. But then I checked the Twitter and saw that school was cancelled. About that time, Caroline rolled in and said, “PLEASE TELL ME THERE’S NO SCHOOL TODAY. NO! WAIT! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!”

    I walked her to the kitchen windows and showed her that there was, in fact, snow covering our sidewalks, the street, my car, and a few little patches scattered in the grass. And that was how we ended up dressed in our version of South Texas snow attire by 7:30 a.m.

    We made snow angels.

    We threw snowballs.

    And, of course, we used a plastic washtub as a sled.

    Finally, we made a snowman.

    He was a very jolly, yet diminutive, snowman.

    Caroline named him Stanley. His facial features were made of jalapeno Cheetos.

    Which seems fitting since Stanley was only hours away from the Mexico border.

    And finally, before the snow melted away, we took a walk down to the creek by our house and Caroline spent the next thirty minutes using her boots to break the shallow layer of ice.

    It was all fun and games until she found a patch that was slightly deeper than three inches and the water splashed over the tops of her rainboots. And then it became all ICE. SNOW. PERIL. FROSTBITE. HUMANITARIAN CRISIS.

    We took that as a sign it was time to head back to the house to thaw out, drink some hot chocolate and maybe eat some jalapeno Cheetos.

    Ultimately, Caroline summed it all up when she declared it “ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE, EVER!”

    It was a great day.

    And I’m glad we made the most of it because, at the rate San Antonio normally experiences accumulated snowfall, she’ll be twenty-five years old the next time it happens.

    But I can’t think about that or I’ll have to go climb in bed with a box of Kleenex and a bag of jalapeno Cheetos and cry.

  • Let it snow

    Guess what?

    It totally snowed here on Friday. 0.4 inches to be exact. A veritable blizzard.

    And then it was 70 degrees yesterday and we were outside in our shorts and t-shirts. Welcome to Texas.

    I’ll give y’all the full rundown tomorrow after I’ve recovered from all the appetizers I consumed during the Super Bowl.

    But, in the meantime, here’s a little video I captured of some of the fun.

    South Texas Sledding from Big Mama on Vimeo.

    Obviously, Caroline videotaped the part where I’m on the “sled”. Which explains why it is slightly reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project.

    ____________________________________

    On an entirely different note, my friend, Lysa Terkeurst, has written a new book called Made to Crave.

    (Yes. All my friends write books. I told Gulley the other day that it’s just a matter of time until she gets her own book deal. And she’s not even a writer.)

    Anyway, Lysa’s book has hit the NY Times bestseller list for the last 3 weeks in a row. Which is kind of a big deal. The premise of the book is how God created us all to crave Him, but we often turn to other things, like food, in an attempt to satisfy those desires. And how we continually feel guilty for the number on the scale, or the hours we don’t spend clipping coupons for our family, or the ways we feel like we fail as wives and mothers. It’s a great book and reads just like you’re talking to a friend across the table. And it’s on sale at Amazon right now for $8.99.

    You can also tune in for a Made to Crave webcast at 7 p.m. (central time) tonight or watch the replay all day Tuesday. Click here for the webcast link. Tonight’s special guest is Mandisa.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition it better snow after all this hype

    I feel like I need to confess that yesterday morning was not my finest hour of motherhood. And it all came down to wardrobe issues.

    Call me a fool, but it seems like days where the temps aren’t going to get above freezing might be an ideal time to wear a few of the sweater dresses that you begged your Mimi and Bops to buy for you last Fall. But, OH NO, why would you wear a beautiful little sweater dress when you can wear a long sleeve tee from Old Navy, hand-me-down jeans, and a sparkly blue poncho that you bought at a garage sale?

    This scenario may have been what led me to utter the time-honored phrase, “Well, I’m going to sell all your sweater dresses on Ebay after you leave for school today”.

    Which was a totally empty threat for two reasons:

    1. She doesn’t really care if I sell them on Ebay because she enjoys wearing ponchos from garage sales.

    2. No way would I sell them on Ebay this time of year. I’ll wait and sell them next Fall to maximize my dollar.

    Honestly, I think I’m just a little on edge because I suspect the weathermen might have led us astray with all their talk of snow. If I don’t see snow in my yard in the next 12 hours, heads are gonna roll. And by that I mean I will complain bitterly about overeager meteorologists while I drink hot choffee.

    But I want you to all rest in the assurance of one thing that will hold true. No matter how cold it gets, I can guarantee with 100% accuracy that you won’t see any photos of Caroline playing in the snow while wearing a sweater dress.

    I also have to confess that I left the house yesterday to pick up Gulley’s boys and Caroline from school and P asked me if I was going in anywhere or just going to be in the car. I told him I planned to stay in the car and he said that was for the best because there was a good chance I might be mistaken for a homeless person. So maybe Caroline comes by it honestly.

    1. deuxhill cowlneck

    I think this is a great piece because it looks great on its own, but would also look snazzy under some type of jacket.

    I don’t know why I just used the word snazzy.

    I’m sorry.

    2. julia lace top

    I am a sucker for a lace top. I can immediately envision it with a great pair of jeans and some cowboy boots.

    It’s kind of got a whole 1970’s thing going on. And the 70’s are dear to me because it was the decade of my childhood. And the decade that gave us the television show Good Times.

    3. citizens of humanity wide leg jeans

    Speaking of the 70’s look, I am beside myself with joy that the wide-legged jean is making a comeback. I adore skinny jeans tucked into boots during the winter, but when the weather turns warmer I prefer my denim to be wide-legged and paired with some wedge sandals.

    And if the Citizens Of Humanity jeans are a little pricey (and they are), check out these 7 For All Mankind that are on sale right now.

    4. stony denim blazer

    I really like this and think it could be so darling paired with something like these courier cargo pants or a great pair of skinny fit tan cords tucked into boots. Or maybe just worn over a dress as an alternative to a standard denim jacket.

    For a similar look, but not in jacket form, I also like this light denim shirt.

    5. hive and honey border stripe cardigan

    I just really like this.

    6. michael antonio wedge sandal

    I’ve been eyeing these for a few weeks now. I don’t know that they’re the exact pair I’d like to own, mainly because there’s a 65% chance I might break my ankle trying to walk around in that heel, but they’re pretty darn close.

    Also, I originally typed “hell” instead of “heel”. And all I can say to that Freudian slip is if the shoe fits…

    7. seaside bracelet

    ***Updated to add that I fixed the link. Sorry about that. I was all caught up in the snow drama and made a careless error.

    Oh how I adore anything with turquoise in it. Or on it. Or around it.

    8. chocolate down coat

    This week has caused me to reevaluate my winter coat situation. And it’s not good, my friends. It’s not good.

    In fact, I have one camel coat circa Banana Republic 2004 and a white puffy down jacket from J. Crew’s 1999 winter collection that I bought back in the days when I used to pretend to snow ski. I mean, yes, I have other jackets, but not good heavy duty coats. Just a bunch of posers that I’ve realized are totally useless once you wear them out in the elements.

    Granted, this is the first time in the almost 18 years I’ve lived here that I really need a good winter coat, but that’s beside the point. I really like this chocolate brown down coat.

    Of course part of the reason could be that it claims to have a REAL COYOTE FUR LINED HOOD. As if that makes it super exotic. I could walk down my block right now and have about an 85% chance of seeing a coyote. But I guess if I lived in New York, I might feel that the coyote fur is a luxury item as opposed to the pelt of an animal that’s responsible for the death of an untold number of house cats in our neighborhood.

    Still, CUTE JACKET.

    9. colorblock knit scarf

    I’ve always enjoyed seeing yellow and gray together. And I always enjoy a scarf. Thus, I like this scarf.

    10. my treasure necklace

    I love Lisa Leonard’s jewelry designs so I occasionally hop over to her site to take a look at what’s new. I saw this necklace today and thought it might make such a sweet Valentine’s Day gift. But, hurry, you have to order by February 8th to get it in time.

    Alright. I’m off to go put on my eleven-year-old down jacket and check the yard for signs of snow.

    Y’all have a great Friday.

  • Baby, it’s cold outside

    Y’all.

    It is so cold.

    I’m going to bookmark this post so I can look at it in July when I am totally over the heat and begin to believe I will never feel cold again.

    Last night we all woke up at 5:30 a.m. (yes, I realize that’s morning to some people, but not to me) when the electricity went out. It was immediately obvious because our house was suddenly dead silent. P told me to call CPS to let them know the power was out and so I began the process of trying to search the Google for the phone number for CPS while half asleep. It went as well as you might expect. And was totally worth it after I spent the next thirty minutes getting a busy signal.

    And then the power came back on and it was pretty much time to be up for the day. Aces.

    P left to drop Caroline off at school and I headed to our church for Bible study right after I stopped at Starbucks for a bucket of caffeine in hot beverage form. All the women were talking about the power outages. One of them even let us know that she’d heated her curling iron using her gas range. You have got to admire that kind of commitment to hair excellence.

    Anyway, it was at Bible study that I discovered our power had gone out due to a mandate by the blah, blah, blah commission for rolling blackouts to preserve energy. About that time P texted me to let me know our power was out again. I called him to tell him about the rolling blackouts. I’d share his response here but I think there are some impressionable youngsters that read this blog. The short, family-friendly version was something along the lines of “I don’t know why I pay for a service every month if I can’t count on it to heat my home during the coldest days of the year. Isn’t this America?”

    The power went out about three or four more times throughout the day. The irony was I was finally able to live a version of “The Blizzard” episode of Little House on the Prairie, which has long been a dream of mine. And I’ll tell you, I don’t know how those pioneers did it because I’m pretty sure they didn’t have a Snuggie or Smart Wool socks. Or an iPhone so they could continue to check the Twitter and play Words With Friends.

    I salute you, Ma and Pa Ingalls. I salute you.

    Here are a few quick bullets before I go put on another pair of socks and find an additional blanket.

    1. The weathermen are officially predicting between 1-3 inches of snow for Thursday night through Friday morning. If they are wrong, then I’m sending Caroline down to their television studios to confront them in person for sitting on their throne of weather lies. Hell hath no fury like a seven-year-old who thinks she’s about to see snow and ends up denied.

    2. Some of you may remember that we got a new front door a while back. No, we still don’t have the promised piece of replacement glass for the window. We also don’t have any weather-stripping because he was going to do that when he installed the glass.

    When I got home yesterday, P had taken our winter weather precautions up a notch.

    For a free estimate on your very own Redneck Weatherstripping, just drop us an email.

    3. When I went to HEB the other day to prepare for WINTER STORM 2011, I was delighted, DELIGHTED, to find these.

    I hate to reveal my propensity to be a bit of a food snob, but one of my very favorite culinary treats when I was growing up was a chili-cheese sandwich made by my Nanny served with a side of taco flavor Doritos.

    You may be thinking, “What is a chili-cheese sandwich?” and that makes me sad for you. A chili-cheese sandwich is Wolf chili from a can with a slice of cheddar cheese all melted together and served between two pieces of buttered wheat bread.

    Over the years, I have attempted to recreate the sandwich with varying degrees of success, but it hasn’t been the same because they discontinued the taco flavor Doritos years ago. But now, OH NOW, my life is complete. Albeit in limited edition form. I can totally replicate one of my favorite childhood meals.

    It’s too bad I can’t replicate my childhood metabolism.

    4. On a television front, I read that NBC will start airing the final season of Friday Night Lights on April 15th. However, that will be 10 days after the entire last season is released on DVD so you could just buy the season and have yourself a viewing marathon. Which may be what I decide to do even though I’m so torn between excitement over seeing what happens and sorrow over watching the end of Coach and Tami Taylor. I love them so.

    Also, I have decided that Brad the Bachelor reminds me of Forrest Gump. “I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is”. I’m not sure what it is but he sounds like he’s reading off cue cards.

    Finally, I continue to love this season of American Idol. I would like to know what products J. Lo and Steven Tyler use on their hair.

    5. My feet are cold.

    I just thought you might want to know.

    Wishing you all a great day filled with electricity and taco flavor Doritos,

    Melanie

  • Singing in the rain

    It is 25 degrees here right now. I realize that’s what some of you northern folks refer to as Spring, but down here that is flat out cold. Like two pairs of socks and break out my seldom worn long-johns kind of cold. Or, better yet, stay inside by the fire where it’s warm and the hot chocolate flows like milk and honey cold.

    Last night I slept in Caroline’s room. I’ve actually been sleeping in there every night since she was sick last week because we have a loose system of sleeping arrangements around here. We basically go with whatever bed seems the most comfortable and has the least amount of snorers and/or coughers. Which I guess, technically would be P’s bed right now because I have contracted Caroline’s cough and she’s still congested and we are just a noisy, wheezy pair. I don’t think P is sad that we’re in exile in the other part of the house.

    Anyway, I woke up about 3:00 a.m. when the cold front started blowing in. The wind was unbelievably loud and the trees outside her window were making a huge racket. And then the birds started to go bananas. They were chirping and tweeting and singing. It sounded like there were a hundred of them outside her window.

    I wondered if maybe a nest had gotten blown down in the wind and figured they would quiet down in a minute. Then the rain started to pour and they continued to tweet and sing. I’d never heard anything like it. I laid there in bed and began to wax poetic about how the little sparrows (or whatever they happened to be) were presenting such a great analogy of life. I began to compose a blog post in my head about the importance of remembering to sing even during the storms of life and how they are such a beautiful picture of trusting God with all that comes our way.

    And then I drifted back off to sleep.

    Until Caroline woke me up about thirty minutes later to let me know that our sound machine had somehow been switched from the sound of Rainfall to Tropical Rainforest.

    Which would explain why the birds were still chirping.

    And, also, the monkeys.

    Best I can tell, the power went out for a brief moment when the wind started to howl. And the sound machine automatically resets itself to Tropical Rainforest anytime it’s disconnected from a power source.

    I’m going to blame the Benadryl that I took right before bed as the reason it didn’t occur to me that you generally don’t hear the call of the Keel-Billed Toucan in South Texas.

    However, I still maintain that it’s important to sing through the storms of life.

    Amen.