Author: Big Mama

  • This isn’t the short version

    I don’t even know how to put this weekend into words. But let’s all believe that I will now attempt to do that very thing as I ramble until I end up with approximately 1,000+ of them. I’d been looking forward to this past weekend for as long as I can remember and I came home feeling humbled, amazed, grateful, inspired, and exhausted.

    That’s a lot to pack into one weekend. In fact, as I attempted to recount everything to P on Sunday night, I suddenly burst into tears for reasons I didn’t even understand. He just looked at me and said, “Wow. You are all hyped up on some estrogen after being around all those women.”

    I don’t know if he’s ever been happier to be trapped on a couch with me as I share my feelings as he was at that moment.

    So, let’s start from the beginning.

    I was born in Houston, Texas on August 14, 1971.

    Oh I kid. Although by the time I finish this post you may feel like my life story might be shorter.

    On Thursday morning, my dad dropped me off at the airport for my flight to Birmingham. It was then that I realized I’d made a serious rookie mistake and forgotten to check in for my Southwest flight online. This resulted in a B 22 boarding pass which isn’t as bad as it could’ve been, but certainly isn’t ideal. But I breezed through security without any kind of inappropriate groping and that felt like a win. I stopped at Starbucks for the Grande Peppermint Mocha I’d been anticipating all morning, only to be told that they were out of peppermint. How does this happen? It’s Christmas time.

    I boarded my flight and spent the next few hours reading all about Prince William and Kate Middleton, although she apparently wants to go by Catherine now. It looks like the wedding is going to be April 29 at Westminster Abbey and there is much debate about which tiara she’ll wear. I just thought you might want to know.

    Also, I promise I’ll quit with all these meaningless details as I flounder for a storyline.

    Once I arrived in Birmingham I checked into my hotel room and then headed to the arena to start my official event team duties even though I had no idea what those were and what I was doing. We spent the next few hours looking for walkie-talkies and pulling out reserved signs for various seats and getting things organized for the next day.

    Later on I headed back to the hotel and Sophie came to pick me up for dinner. I’d thought we’d eat Mexican food, but we ended up going to eat at some fabulous restaurant downtown. It’s safe to say I’d tell you the name of it if I could remember. I just know I ate some pasta that changed my life and a tiramisu I’ll remember when I’m on my deathbed.

    Friday was filled with putting signs on seats and filling gift bags and making sure the merch (love the merch!) was all ready to go. I’m sure there were other things involved but I was too busy walking around asking, “What am I supposed to be doing? Do I need to be somewhere?”

    Bless their hearts, they decided to give me a walkie-talkie anyway. Probably because they knew I was going to be in dire need of guidance and direction.

    My official role was Greeter Assist. Which means I was in charge of the volunteers at one of the arena entrances and had to fake an air of confidence and authority. Fortunately this is part of my skill set. It’s how I rolled for ten years as a pharmaceutical rep. “ABSOLUTELY NOT! THIS DRUG DOESN’T INTERFERE WITH THE CYP450 METABOLISM!”

    Anyway, the doors opened at 5:30 and that’s about the last time I had a coherent thought that day. CRAZY TOWN.

    On Saturday morning, Betsy (our LifeWay event team leader) told us to be packed and downstairs at 6:25. In the morning. The good news is I’d managed to get about four minutes of sleep the night before so I was ready to go with my bloodshot eyes and feet that felt like I’d walked on a bed of nails.

    I went back to my post as Greeter Assist until the crowd died down and I found Kelly and Heather holding my contraband Starbucks. That Grande dose of caffeine may have been what saved me. It certainly was the only thing that gave me strength to work the merch tables selling $2.00 t-shirts.

    But, seriously, I’ve attended a lot of LifeWay events over the last three years. However, I’ve never done the event team thing and I had NO IDEA what all goes into the entire thing. They work so hard to make the whole thing come together and the thing that impressed me the most was that everyone just does what needs to be done. (In editing this, the other thing that should impress me is the number of times I used the word “thing” in the last two sentences.) No one says that something isn’t their job or they’re too busy. They just go. And they have fun while they do it. I’d never met the majority of women on the team, but I loved every one of them by the end of the weekend.

    Okay, so the other component of the weekend was a Compassion Bloggers’ Reunion. Amanda worked with Shaun Groves to organize a reunion of all the bloggers that have been on various Compassion trips. They all attended Deeper Still, but I didn’t really get to see any of them during the event because none of them were in line buying $2.00 t-shirts.

    But Compassion hosted a dinner on Saturday night for all of us. So after the event ended, I changed out of my green Deeper Still t-shirt and into something a little more dinner-ish. (I don’t know what that means.) And then Kelly, Amanda, Heather and I piled into Sophie’s car in search of some caffeine and a place to kill a little time since the dinner didn’t start for another hour.

    Which is how we ended up parked on a street in downtown Birmingham drinking various soft drinks from McDonalds. Sophie knows how to show some girls a good time. And she pretty much summed it up when she said, “Who would have ever thought I’d be parked in front of the McWane Center with a car full of people I met on the internet?”

    We laughed and talked and told stories about our kids and other various things until we were crying and laughing. Then it was time to head to dinner at Cafe DuPont.

    I could tell you about the restaurant and how much I loved it and how the dessert changed all my preconceived notions about the wisdom in combining cheesecake with acorn squash. (IT TURNS OUT THAT IT’S SO RIGHT AND GOOD.)

    But none of that is the most important thing. The thing that mattered to me were the people in that room. The people whose words I’ve read and cried over and have been such an inspiration to me. (I honestly think I might have frightened Ann Voskamp a little. She is so graceful and beautiful and I went a little FAN GIRL on her.)

    Steve Jones, who works for Compassion and went to the Dominican Republic with my group, stood up at dinner and told us that 5,000 kids have been sponsored through the Compassion blog trips. 5,000 little lives. I have no idea what part of that number is mine. It may be just one for all I know. (This is where I want to tell that story of the starfish on the beach but I will stop myself because seriously.)

    It made me cry to hear that number. To be among people who took time out of their daily lives to write words that have ultimately led to impacting 5,000 lives. It’s humbling and it makes me want to do more and to live a life with purpose.

    (Not that talking about the Real Housewives on the internet isn’t purposeful. Because, OF COURSE.)

    Anyway, I have no way to wrap all this up in any kind of adequate way. It was just a great weekend filled with fun and friends and laughter and tears and so much more that will probably have to be another post at some point when I have the words.

    So, for now, I’ll just leave you with this picture from the Compassion dinner. You’d think that after the weekend I had that I’d have a whole slew of pictures. But that would have involved taking my camera out of my purse.

    _______________________________________________________

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  • While mama’s away

    So I was in Birmingham this weekend. I believe I’ve mentioned it once or eighteen times.

    What I didn’t mention was that I actually worked as part of the LifeWay event team for the Deeper Still conference. Seriously. They gave me a walkie-talkie with an earpiece and everything. Sadly, I had to give it back when everything was over and that makes me sad because I discovered this weekend that people take you seriously when you walk around with a walkie-talkie and an earpiece. Well, except for the people who know me in real life who just died laughing every time they saw me.

    I will write about the weekend tomorrow, but right now I have to go to bed because part of my event team duties involved selling $2.00 t-shirts at the merch table and I think all 14,000 women in attendance bought one.

    (You don’t know how happy it makes me to use the term “merch”. It makes me wish I had merch to sell so I could walk around and talk about my merch table. Apparently that word and a walkie-talkie is all is takes.)

    But, in the meantime, I have to share that Caroline passed a major milestone this weekend. I also want to warn you that if you are not a fan of the hunting you should probably leave at this point and come back for the rest of the weekend re-cap tomorrow.

    On Friday afternoon, P texted me this photo.

    Aww. Mama’s little baby has on camo face paint.

    I texted him back and said, “I LOVE IT. I LOVE Y’ALL!”

    And then Saturday morning I was walking around the concourse looking very official with my walkie-talkie and earpiece.

    (In reality I was going to meet my friends, Heather and Kelly, who had brought me a Peppermint Mocha but were told they couldn’t bring it in the arena. I was DESPERATE for that Peppermint Mocha and not above telling someone it was for Beth Moore just to get it in the doors.)

    (Also, they let me walk right in with it and I didn’t have to resort to deception. I owe it all to the walkie-talkie.)

    Anyway, I’m walking around the concourse when I receive a text from P that says, “Caroline shot her first deer this morning.” And it was accompanied by this photo.

    Y’all.

    The weirdest part is I felt tears of pride well up in my eyes.

    And I spent the rest of the day saying words I never would have imagined saying seven and a half years ago, “LOOK Y’ALL! MY BABY GIRL SHOT HER FIRST DEER THIS MORNING!”

    The best part was people acted like they were genuinely interested.

    Or maybe it was just the walkie-talkie that made them feel like they had to listen.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition live from various airports and one hotel room

    So I’m sitting in the San Antonio airport right now and decided I should probably get started on Fashion Friday because once I land in Birmingham I’m going to be very busy trying to act like I’m very busy. Plus I’m hoping that Sophie and I will get to go out and eat some Mexican food. Do y’all know that Birmingham has a Chuy’s now? It makes me so happy that the Tex-Mex love has spread to the Deep South.

    I feel like before I begin that I need to confess that I walked Caroline into school this morning wearing a black fleece pullover backwards. Sure, it could happen to anyone. Except for the fact that the tag was visibly sticking up right under my chin.

    This is why no one should expect anything of me before 8:00 a.m. It’s a wonder she doesn’t want me to just drop her off at the curb.

    But all that being said, I did spend some time at the mall this week. I even wore my shirt the right way. I think. And here are a few cute things I found. Feel free to add them to your Christmas wish list.

    1. Houndstooth belted coat

    Listen. Do not judge me for my occasional love of A’gaci. It is a great place to find super cheap leggings and long sleeve t-shirts that have just enough spandex to keep them from getting all baggy around your elbows. Which is a major pet peeve of mine.

    I walked in there the other day and saw this darling houndstooth coat. This is in no way an endorsement of the University of Alabama, although it would be a great addition to anyone who is a fan of the Crimson Tide. I just happen to adore this jacket and its kicky oversized buttons.

    2. Animal print faux fur jacket

    I have long believed that there is nothing like a little fur leopard coat to add some pizzazz to your wardrobe. I used to have this fab leopard fur coat. And then some social reprobates broke my car window in a parking garage in Austin, Texas and stole it. Along with my leather jacket from Harold’s. And all my makeup. And I had to drive all the way back to San Antonio with a piece of cardboard and duck tape on my window even though it was freezing cold and I had no leopard fur coat to keep me warm.

    That happened about ten years ago. Really, I’m over it.

    3. Sparta hoplite cocktail ring

    I love a good statement ring.

    4. Amanda sweater

    This is really similar to a sweater I bought at Steinmart a while back. And I love it. It’s the perfect thing to throw on and immediately look pulled together. Especially if you don’t put it on backwards.

    5. Tinley Road pleated top

    This top is so versatile and I love the gray.

    6. Skinny cord

    If you would have told me last year that I would even be considering a pair of skinny cords right now, I would have called you flat crazy. But here I am. Considering a pair of skinny cords.

    I think they’d look cute tucked into some boots with a cozy sweater. And they’re on sale.

    7. Big City Blues coat

    I feel like I need to order this to celebrate Christmas. And then Valentine’s Day. It is so dang cute.

    8. Fuzzy cowlneck pullover

    Put this together with some flannel pajama pants and I believe we have found my happy place.

    9. Empire car coat

    I saw this earlier in the week and just thought it was darling.

    10. Hunter wellingtons with striped cuff welly sock

    These would make me so happy. Never mind that it hasn’t rained here in over two months and that it’s rarely cold, I’d still wear these every day just because FAB.

    That’s it for today. Y’all have a great Friday.

  • A top eleven list is so odd

    Before I say anything else, I need to state for the record that I managed to pack everything I need to take to Birmingham in a carry-on bag. And I still managed to bring four different pairs of shoes. Which doesn’t seem excessive at all for a four day trip.

    The game changer was my decision to use the White Noise app on my iPhone. And to decide that my hair will be able to achieve enough volume with just my travel-size set of hot rollers. It’s a risky decision, but I have long been known for my ability to live right on the edge.

    And for those who asked, I’m going to Birmingham for the Deeper Still conference. If you’re going to be there, I’d love to meet you. I have no idea where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing, but I’m sure it shouldn’t be too hard to find me amongst the other 12,000 women who will be in attendance.

    Yesterday I spent most of the day helping decorate our church sanctuary for Christmas. So when I left the church around 2:00 p.m., I was in the mood for some Christmas tunes and turned on the radio and, I KID YOU NOT, that Dwight Yoakam song was on. I caught it just in time to hear “He threw a present really hard that almost hit Mom’s new boyfriend Ray”.

    That is a lyrical treasure.

    Anyway, several years ago, (three to be exact) Gulley and I each made a list of our favorite Christmas songs. You can find those lists right here. But things change and new songs come along and I’m leaving for Birmingham and still need to make sure I have everything I need before I get all puffed up with pride over my insane packing abilities that allowed me to fit everything in one small bag and one very large purse.

    (Too late on that last thing, by the way. I am totally puffed up with pride over my packing expertise.)

    My point is I thought it would be fun to make a list of the Christmas songs that are on the top of my listening list this season. The whole thing makes me feel a little bit like Casey Kasem.

    (Was I the last person to know that he was the voice of Shaggy on Scooby Doo?)

    1. Christmas Tonight by Dave Barnes

    I bought this album (downloaded it, whatever) a few weeks ago and have listened to it over and over again. If you haven’t seen the video for this song then your life may not be complete.

    2. In the First Light by Travis Cottrell

    The first time I heard this song I cried. It is absolute perfection.

    3. O Holy Night by Glee Cast

    Whatever your feelings about Glee, they make some good music. I love this version.

    4. River by Sarah McLachlan

    Okay. So kind of a downer song. But I love this entire album so much and there’s not much that makes me happier than a cold day, a warm fire, and listening to this song. It’s a nice kind of melancholy.

    I doubt that makes sense to anyone but me.

    5. Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Taylor

    It’s James Taylor.

    6. I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Harry Connick, Jr.

    There is just so much right about this entire album and, honestly, my favorite song on it changes with my mood. Which means it changes pretty darn frequently. Kind of like a roller coaster.

    7. Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant

    Christmas isn’t Christmas to me without Amy Grant music.

    8. Hallelujah (Light Has Come) by Barlow Girl

    I just heard this for the first time a few days ago and fell in love with it. So beautiful.

    9. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Kelly Willis

    There are so many good versions of this song, but I adore this one by Kelly Willis. It has a Christmas in Texas feel to it.

    10. Merry Christmas from the Family by Robert Earl Keen

    This will be on any list of Christmas favorites that I ever compile. Amen.

    11. Christmas in Hollis by Run-DMC

    I realize this doesn’t really fit with the rest of my choices, but I added it to my workout playlist the other day and it has made me so happy.

    So, what about y’all? What are the Christmas songs you can’t live without right now?

    And, remember, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

  • So on and so forth

    I’m leaving for Birmingham on Thursday morning and so my last few days have been filled with all the random little errands I always run before I go on a trip. I have to stock up on all my travel-size toiletries and make sure I have enough lipgloss and endlessly debate if I can fit four days worth of clothes in a practical carry-on size bag or if I’ll just go for the gold and pack an obnoxiously large suitcase instead. There is no in between. Mainly because I don’t own a reasonable middle-of-the-road piece of luggage.

    And also because I have to pack things like my sound machine and large set of hot rollers.

    So I’m just going to mention a few quick things here as opposed to rambling on and on with about 1,000+ words like I’ve done the last two days.

    1. I’m planning on doing some sort of list with various Christmas gift ideas at some point in the next week or so. In the meantime, Sophie has compiled a list of twenty teen-friendly favorites under $20 and a list of fifteen favorites under $15.

    I have found both lists to be enormously insightful. I’ve also discovered that I have the exact same taste as a sixteen-year-old girl.

    2. Speaking of lists, I’m trying to talk P into doing another list this year for the outdoorsy-types in your life. He hasn’t committed yet, but I haven’t started withholding home-cooked meals and Orange Milanos.

    Here is last year’s list in case you missed it. It is a wealth of information about things I know nothing about.

    3. Behold! The Christmas tree! With its vertically-wrapped lights!

    I took this with my phone. But trust me when I tell you the quality would be no better if I’d taken it with my camera. My camera is hurting.

    4. My dear friend, Travis Cottrell, has written a book called Surprised by Worship. I think I’ve mentioned it before. What I haven’t mentioned is that you can click over to my giveaway and review page for a chance to win a free copy. And, trust me, you want to read this book.

    5. Caroline wore legwarmers to school yesterday. As a preteen of the early 80’s, it felt like a full circle moment for me.

    Please notice the unpainted door frame in the background. It has been that way for the last eight years in spite of the fact that it would take all of five minutes to paint it. Somewhere in there is some insight into my personality.

    6. Don’t forget to check out the NFL Take it to the House program and sweepstakes information.

    7. I ordered my Christmas cards on Monday from The Little Card Company. I’ll tell y’all more about them next week, but LOVE.

    8. I went to the mall yesterday because I had to run in Sephora and also felt like I should make a quick run through a few shoe departments. Did y’all know there are places right in the middle of the mall where people are getting massages and having their eyebrows done? I think we’ve lost some sense of what constitutes an activity that should be done smack dab in the middle of public.

    Or maybe I just have personal boundary issues. It’s possible.

    9. I saw these pajamas at Target yesterday and can’t quit thinking about them. I wanted to buy them for myself but I think we all know that the guilt of buying something for myself did me in and I left Target pajama-less but with a new supply of Children’s Benadryl, some snowflake ornaments and a bulk package of paper towels.

    10. That is all. I just didn’t want to end with 9. It seemed random.

    Kind of like this whole list.

    And now I’m off to see if I can fit four days worth of clothes into a carry-on bag.

    Doubtful.

  • Yes, I’m still talking about my Christmas tree

    So yesterday morning was Monday. And I’ve become a big fan of stating the obvious.

    I knew that eventually the Thanksgiving break would end and it would be time to join the real world again, but that really didn’t make it any better when the alarm went off. It also doesn’t help that our alarm is P’s cell phone and he has it set to some kind of mamba ring tone. He says it’s because he’ll hear it, but I suspect it might be because he knows it drives me insane enough to make me jump out of bed. Or at least to roll over and growl, “TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD, TURN IT OFF.”

    We all managed to get out of bed and start our morning routine. I dropped Caroline off at school with a coyote skull gently packed in her little sequined leopard print messenger bag. Yes. A coyote skull. She found it at the ranch last week and couldn’t wait to bring it in for Show and Tell. Bless her teacher’s heart.

    Once I got home I knew I could no longer avoid the run I’d been trying not to think about all last week when I decided that exercise should not interfere with my enjoyment of the Thanksgiving holiday. I put on my running shoes, cranked up my sweet tunes, and spent the next thirty-five minutes feeling like I was wading through quicksand. My loose hypothesis is that a steady diet of cream of mushroom soup and butter in various casserole forms has a tendency to make a person feel a little sluggish.

    After I plodded my way around the neighborhood, I came back home to hydrate myself and pass out for about forty-five minutes before running my long list of errands. First up? A trip to Michaels to get more Christmas tree lights. Second? I ran in Charming Charlie’s to buy the zebra-print koozie with hot pink feathered trim that Caroline fell in love with when she saw it on Saturday. I don’t know why she really needs a koozie, but I can understand the siren song of the zebra print trimmed in pink.

    Anyway, I finally completed a whole list of errands and I won’t bore you by going into all the details. When I finally got home I decided to go ahead and put the lights on the rest of the tree so that Caroline and I could get to decorating as soon as she got home from school.

    I continued my vertical light strategy around the back of the tree until it was adequately wrapped, then I put one more strand around the entire tree just to ensure maximum light coverage. And then!

    AND THEN!

    I plugged in the lights and marveled at their beauty. And also at the fact that I managed to buy some sort of twinkling lights by accident and half my tree has a significant twinkling effect.

    AND THEN!

    All the lights went out at the same time. Darkness. Total darkness.

    Fortunately P happened to be home and I summoned him to the living room with a delicate, “OH NO! ALL MY LIGHTS JUST WENT OUT! WHAT HAPPENED? OH THE HUMANITY!”

    He looked at me and asked, “How many strands do you have plugged all together and plugged into this one outlet?”

    “Ummm. Eight?”

    (Or twelve.)

    “That’s too many. It overheated and blew a fuse.”

    Technically, I knew when I was connecting strand after strand of lights that this venture was ill-advised thanks to the directions on the box the lights came in. However, I choose to think of those directions as more of a guideline than the gospel truth.

    P fixed my fuse and told me I’d need to go buy an extension cord and a power strip. So I picked up Caroline from school and we headed to Walgreens to buy the necessary supplies. And then I had to come home and try to reconfigure my lighting scheme. The good news is this gave me the opportunity to evenly distribute the twinkly lights so my tree doesn’t look like it’s bipolar.

    Now it just looks like it belongs in a nightclub in Las Vegas. Which is so much better.

    After the lighting was all straightened out, I turned our T.V. to one of the satellite radio channels that plays continuous holiday music and Caroline and I began to hang the rest of the ornaments as we sang along to Jingle Bell Rock. It was all very festive in spite of the fact that it was a crisp 82 degrees outside.

    All of a sudden a song came on that I’d never heard before. I knew immediately it was Dwight Yoakum. And as I listened to the lyrics I realized he was singing that Mama said Santa can’t stay and Santa looked a lot like Daddy as he drove away.

    Wow.

    Way to bring us all down at Christmastime, Dwight.

    I told P about it and said it was the second most depressing Christmas song I’ve ever heard. The first being that song about the little boy who’s trying to buy new shoes for his mom in case she dies and meets Jesus on Christmas Eve.

    P looked at me and said, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, but I have serious concerns about your listening habits. Why would you listen to any of that?”

    It’s a valid point.

    However, he doesn’t know that I’m the same girl who spent much of Christmas 1987 listening to Dolly Parton sing Hard Candy Christmas over and over again on my York stereo with cassette player while I cried over a breakup with a boy whose name I can barely even remember now. I felt like Dolly and I were united in our feeling of barely getting through tomorrow, but committed to not let sorrow bring us down.

    Which is more than I can say for Dwight Yoakum.