Author: Big Mama

  • My peeps

    This is one of my favorite pictures ever of Caroline and P.

    And this is one I took of them last week.

    img_6127.jpg

    Hello, time? I’d appreciate it if you’d slow down just a little bit.

    My heart can’t take all the growing up.

  • FYI, they have mountains in North Carolina

    I have to start this post by saying a huge thank you to all of you who prayed for me this weekend. You need to know that I appreciate it more than words could ever convey. I’ve said it before, but y’all are the best part of this blog.

    I’ve gotten so many emails asking about the weekend and how everything went, so I’ll do my best to recap in a concise, articulate form. But, really, when do I ever do anything that’s concise and articulate?

    By Thursday morning Caroline had been completely fever-free for 24 hours and seemed to be feeling fine. She went to school and when I picked her up at the end of the day, she excitedly told me all about her day and appeared to be completely over the flu. I was so relieved that I wasn’t going to be leaving town while she was sick.

    But I counted my flu-free chickens before they hatched.

    She slept in my bed on Thursday night and I could tell she was restless. Then about 1:00 a.m., I could feel the heat radiating from her body like one of those little stoves that the Amish make. The fever was back. I gave her some Motrin and then spent the next two hours listening to her feverish ramblings about how her favorite Disney princess is Pocahontas because she has a pet raccoon.

    Technically, I’m not sure that Pocahontas is really a Disney princess, but I didn’t want to argue the point at 4 a.m.

    Anyway, she finally fell asleep again around 4:45 in the morning, just in time for me to get a refreshing 15 minutes of sleep before my alarm went off at 5:00.

    Armed with about two hours and fifteen minutes of sleep, I stumbled into the bathroom to get dressed, stuff a few more things in my suitcase, and then head to the airport. I’ve never felt more refreshed.

    Also, P was still asleep when I left the house so I just put a note by the coffee pot that read, “Caroline has fever. No school today. May God have mercy on your soul.”

    Once I got on the plane, I was gripped with fear. Not fear that we might crash, not fear of the fact that I was speaking to a group of women, but fear that I would fall asleep with my mouth open in front of a plane full of strangers. And, horror of horrors, maybe even snore.

    (Disclaimer: I don’t normally snore. I am way too delicate and feminine. I just thought the altitude might cause some freak sinus issues.)

    Sure enough, I did the fall asleep, mouth open, head bob and jolt awake routine more times than I want to recall right now. To my fellow passengers on Delta Flight 5022, I apologize.

    Once I arrived at the airport in Asheville, North Carolina, I was greeted by Becky and Beth who were holding a large sign that said “BIG MAMA”. At that moment I was so proud that I chose such a distinguished, sophisticated name when I started this blog back in July of 2006.

    We headed to The Cove Retreat Center and the scenery was unbelievably beautiful. I asked a lot of intelligent questions like, “Are those mountains or just really big hills?” At that moment I bet Becky has never questioned her judgement more in asking me to be a part of their retreat.

    The whole weekend was just one of the biggest blessings of my life. I spoke at four different sessions with an overall theme about being the woman that God calls you to be. All the prayers you said were absolutely answered because I didn’t pass out and I didn’t trip over anything. Each time I got up to speak, the nerves went away and I felt total peace.

    More than anything, I have to say that the women of Lee Park Baptist in Monroe, NC are some of the most incredible women I have ever been privileged to meet. They could not have made me feel more welcomed or loved. As I heard bits and pieces of some of their stories over the twenty-four hours I was with them, I was amazed by their faith and strength. They inspired me.

    I got to meet a woman who’s traveled to over 68 countries in her life and is celebrating her 60th wedding anniversary this year by traveling to about five more. She has more energy at 78 than I had, well, EVER. I talked to a woman who just found out last Monday that she has breast cancer. There were women there facing so many challenges and struggles that I don’t even know what to say except that it made me feel incredibly humbled to be there.

    And, y’all, they made me laugh out loud. There is nothing I love more than a group of people who don’t take themselves too seriously. I got to see some stupid human tricks, a New Kids on the Block rap, and a preacher’s wife who wasn’t afraid to wear a paper plate bonnet.

    I heard all about Harris Teeter, which is one of their local grocery stores, and I now know that if I ever need to find plastic, curved toothpicks that you can get them in the wine department and if you ever buy a rotten coconut, you can bring it back and they’ll replace it with not one, but TWO coconuts. And they have their London Broil on sale this week, buy one get one free, and if you put it in the crockpot with some Lipton Onion soup mix, it is delicious.

    I never thought I’d feel sad over a grocery store, especially since we have HEB here in Texas, but now I feel like I’m missing out on a blessing because I’ve never been to a Harris Teeter. (Even though I never could remember the name and I kept referring to it as Humpy Wheeler. Which they all appreciated because Humpy Wheeler used to be the head of NASCAR and we were in North Carolina so they all actually knew who I was talking about.)

    What I’m trying to say (so much for concise and articulate) is that they just took me in and made me feel like I was their own. And for a nervous, tired girl from Texas who wasn’t sure what she was doing there, it was a huge blessing. So, big shout out to Lee Park women. Thanks for everything.

    When I finally got home late Saturday night, P met me at the door and told me there was leftover sushi in the fridge. California Roll is my love language. So I ate my sushi, talked his ear off, and then headed to bed.

    Caroline was in our bed and when I tip-toed in the bedroom, she opened her eyes and said, “HELLO MAMA!” and then fell back asleep so she would be well-rested and ready to wake me up for a round of Candyland by 6:36 a.m.

    I think she’s back to her old self.

    Y’all have a great Monday.

  • Unfashionable friday

    Okay, so it’s not Fashion Friday, but I’m sitting in the San Antonio airport and it’s 6:31 a.m. I need to do something to keep myself from curling up in one of these chairs and falling asleep.

    Last night I was trying to pack and Caroline wanted to help. I laid out a few outfit choices trying to decide which ones I wanted to cram into my carry-on bag. There was one jacket that was questionable, so I decided to try it on to see how it fit.

    As I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, Caroline walked in and said, “I would not go with that jacket.”

    Okay, Anna Wintour. I’ll take that under advisement.

    So then I decided to see how it looked with a certain necklace.

    “Oh Mama, please not that necklace. I am not a fan.”

    According to her, I have no business telling anyone what they should wear. It’s a wonder that I can dress myself.

  • Here’s hoping I don’t take the flu to North Carolina

    Thanks for all the well wishes and flu sympathy for Caroline. The good news is that the Flu Mist may have helped a little because she was much better yesterday.

    I knew she was feeling better when she magically transformed from poor little sick girl to demanding couch princess asking me to please hurry up with those pancakes and while I was at it could I call the T.V. station and let them know she’d like to watch “Ice Age 2”. Maybe introducing her to the concept of Pay-per-view television wasn’t such a good move.

    The other indication that she was beginning to feel like herself was when I got dressed in some old camo pants and an ancient Abercrombie sweatshirt and she told me she was embarrassed by how I looked. At that point I told her that unless she wanted to take care of her own flu-infested self and play Candyland alone, she better show some respect to the woman who has been her constant on-call nurse for the last three days.

    Anyway, I feel like I need to retract part of my letter to Flu Mist. Perhaps it’s not dead to me after all, but rather on probation.

    In other good news, I feel fine so far. Which is kind of important because I’m flying to North Carolina on Friday morning to spend the weekend speaking at a womens’ retreat for Lee Park Baptist Church in Monroe, North Carolina.

    What? What’s that? You didn’t know I was a speaker?

    Yeah, neither did I.

    Last June, a sweet reader named Becky emailed me to ask if I’d be interested in speaking at her church’s womens’ retreat the following Spring. She said that she didn’t know if that was something I would do, but just felt led to ask. My initial reaction was to email her back and asked if she’d actually ever read my blog and, if so, could I assume that the topic of the retreat was “Bad Hairstyles of the 1980’s”?

    But instead I prayed about it and knew without a doubt that I was supposed to accept her invitation to speak to this group of women.

    I also figured that it was June of 2008 and the retreat wasn’t until February of 2009, which I took as an indicator that God planned to fill me with vast amounts of spiritual wisdom and maturity over the next six months. Now here we are, two days away, and I’m still waiting on the wisdom and maturity part to show up.

    The good news is that I can always teach them how to tie a scarf.

    I can’t tell you how many times over the last few months I’ve asked God if I heard him right on this. I don’t know if I have anything worthwhile to say. Doubt creeps in and I think He may have the wrong girl.

    But God keeps reminding me that I am me. He knows my weaknesses and flaws better than I know them myself and loves me in spite of them.

    And so here I go, stepping out of my comfort zone.

    The point of all this is that I wanted to share it with y’all. I had my week so carefully planned out so that I would have plenty of time to focus on preparing the messages for the weekend, so it’s made me laugh (and cry) that Caroline came down with the flu and has been home all week. I’ve had almost no time to myself and unless those women want a detailed re-telling of “Horton Hears A Who”, I need to spend some time being still before God, listening for His voice.

    I’m not going to do Fashion Friday this week because I just have too much on my plate and would like to sleep at some point between now and Friday. I’ll check in over the weekend if I get a chance, which I probably will because airports are all about the free wi-fi these days. Maybe I’ll even find a rocking chair to sit in.

    And if you think about it, I’d love your prayers for the weekend. Specifically, that I don’t say something stupid that I can’t edit and that God would show up in a big way.

    Y’all are the best.

  • Horton has the flu or hears a who or whatever

    Caroline was out of school on Monday to celebrate the President’s Day holiday. It’s always a big holiday for us. We decorate our President’s Day tree, hide colored eggs, and have the whole family over for a big turkey dinner where we all wear stove-pipe hats.

    Or maybe I just complain about the fact that we don’t get any mail and the banks are closed. I can’t really remember.

    Anyway, this year we decided to head out to the Stock Show and Rodeo because the folks at the rodeo like to celebrate President’s Day by charging only $1.00 for every single ride. That is a lot of trips on the ferris wheel. However, someone failed to notify the people selling the turkey legs and corn dogs about the perilous economic times in which we are living because they were charging $8.00 per turkey leg. For just one leg. I remember when you could get a whole turkey for $8.00 even though you had to walk uphill in the snow both ways to get it.

    Gulley and her boys went with us and the kids had a great time. Eventually our money ran out and it started to rain, so we headed to the car. I was slightly amazed that Caroline didn’t beg to stay for just a few more minutes, but decided she was probably tired since she didn’t sleep good the night before.

    We got home and I turned on the T.V. hoping that she would settle in and rest for a little bit, then I went in the kitchen to unload the dishwasher. At some point I realized she was really quiet and peeked in the living room to see if she was wreaking some sort of havoc in the form of permanent markers or eating her body weight in Valentine’s chocolate.

    I was stunned to see that she was fast asleep on the couch. Seriously, Caroline falling asleep mid-day is an event that is so unprecedented I scanned the room to see if I was on Candid Camera.

    She slept for about an hour and woke up with flushed cheeks and watery, sad eyes. It didn’t take a genius to figure out she was sick, which was fortunate considering that we don’t have any geniuses living in our house. P may beg to differ, but being able to tell how old a deer is from fifty yards isn’t necessarily on the MENSA test.

    I gave her some Tylenol and put her to sleep in my bed. She was feverish and restless all night long, so when she woke up around 8:00, I told her that she wasn’t going to school. Bless her heart, she started crying and told me, “I just know they’re going to do something fun and I’m going to miss it!”

    We went to see the pediatrician because deep in my heart I just knew it was the flu. They gave her the flu test where they stick a swab up your nose and, let me tell you, she was not happy. Caroline tends to be very dramatic about things that she doesn’t like. If she falls down, she’s been known to yell, “I DON’T EVER WANT TO WALK ON THAT GROUND AGAIN. I DON’T LIKE THAT GROUND!” And it doesn’t really do any good at that point to explain the laws of gravity and physics, so I usually just go along with whatever she says and within three minutes she usually forgives the ground and decides to give it another chance.

    My point is that when that swab went up her nose, she was ready to ban cotton swabs from the face of the earth forever. If she knew any profanities, she would have yelled them right there in that lab. And then ten minutes later they confirmed that she has the flu and I wanted to say some profanities of my own.

    Namely, I’d like to have a word with the makers of Flu Mist because what exactly was the point of paying that extra money to give my child the Flu Mist if she’s going to get the flu anyway? And not just any flu, but the strain of flu that was specifically supposed to be avoided by getting the aforementioned Flu Mist?

    Dear Flu Mist,

    You are a crock and are now dead to me.

    Good riddance,
    Melanie

    So, yeah. She has the flu. And I didn’t get a flu shot (not that it matters apparently), so now I’m just hoping it doesn’t take us all down.

    On the bright side, “Horton Hears A Who” was available on pay-per-view and I’ve never been so thankful for that lovable elephant and his wee speck of dust. They made a fever-filled afternoon a little bit brighter.

    Not to mention the fact that the Girl Scouts of America showed up on my doorstep like green angels sent from heaven bearing the Thin Mints and Lemon Chalets I’d ordered a month ago. It made me realize that the Girl Scout motto is true. They are always prepared.

    Or maybe that’s the Boy Scout motto.

    Whatever.

    Did you not read the part about me being home with a sick child with the flu in spite of the faulty Flu Mist? I’m doing the best I can.

    Here’s hoping that Horton and the Thin Mints will get us through.

  • Maybe I’m too high-maintenance for her

    The other day my dad stopped by after work to see Caroline. He’d been out of town on business for several days and hadn’t seen her since she’d turned five and a half.

    In true grandpa fashion, he began telling her much taller she’d gotten in the last few days and how he could tell she was five and half because of how fast she is now.

    Bless her heart, it will be a wonder if she has any kind of self-esteem at all.

    I was cooking dinner and called into the living room, “And you won’t believe what a good job she’s doing sounding out her words and letter sounds!”

    My dad said, “Wow, Caroline! Just think you’ll be able to read before you know it.”

    “Yep! I’m gonna read books!”

    “That’s right. Then you can just curl up on the couch with a good book and read.”

    “I know! Or I can just go in my room, read a book and have a little ‘me’ time.”

    “Me” time?

    Did she seriously say she could use a little “me” time?

    I guess it’s been selfish of me to make her play all those rounds of Candyland with me every afternoon after school when apparently all she’s been looking for is a little “me” time.