Author: Big Mama

  • The great bat conspiracy of ’08

    For Caroline’s birthday this year, Gulley and her boys gave her a subscription to Zoobooks.

    And this is where I have to confess that Caroline was originally not very excited about the gift because it wasn’t comprised of hot pink plastic parts and fake blonde hair. (I’m referring to Barbie dolls, not a cast member of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.)

    I tried to explain to her what it was, but the words “magazine subscription” don’t really mean that much to a five-year-old.

    As opposed to the words “Polly Pockets Super-Fabulous Mall of Cheap Parts Made in China!”

    However, Gulley knows my girl and what she likes. The Zoobooks have become a huge favorite around here and Caroline can’t wait to get a new one in the mail. Once a new issue arrives, it becomes part of our bedtime ritual to read all about that month’s featured animal every single night.

    Our most recent issue was about bats. I’ll be honest, I’ve never really been a fan of the bat.

    I blame it on the movie “Love At First Bite” and the fact that even as a child I knew that George Hamilton was unnaturally tan. Oh, and that I was always told that bats carry rabies, which is pretty much a deal-breaker for any animal. Just ask Ol’ Yeller.

    Anyway, night after night, we’ve read all about bats and, frankly, I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know. For instance, did you know that the smallest bat in the world is the size of a bumblebee? It’s true. And yet incredibly freaky.

    A few nights ago, Caroline and I had the following conversation.

    “Mama, why are the bats extinct?”

    “Well, they’re not extinct. They’re just endangered. That means they are dying and there aren’t a whole lot left.”

    “Why are they dying?”

    “Well, the book says it’s because they are getting this white fungus on their wings from caves and it’s making them sick.”

    “Yeah. Or maybe they’re dying because people are stabbing them in the wings with scissors.”

    Oh my.

    “Well, no. It’s because of the fungus.”

    “Or maybe it’s because people are stabbing them with forks.”

    “No, I don’t think people are stabbing them with anything.”

    “Well, I think it is.”

    I can’t believe I’m raising a bat enthusiast with a penchant for conspiracy theories.

  • Because not everyone will be home for the holidays

    A few days ago I received an email from a reader named Amanda. Her husband is in the Army and currently in the midst of a 15 month deployment. They have two young children and in her email she said that although it is often difficult, they know it’s the path to which they’ve been called.

    Amanda and her Bible study group came up with the idea to collect 2000 Christmas cards to send to the families of deployed soldiers from Fort Sill. They are calling the effort “Dear Army Family”. They are hoping that each family will receive a card that reminds them that someone across the country values their sacrifice and is remembering their family through this Christmas season.

    This is an excerpt from the letter she sent me that outlines the program.

    “Our goal is to send an extra Christmas card to each family of a deployed soldier on our post. We are hoping to encourage those that are walking through a particularly difficult time of deployment.

    We want each family to know that the sacrifice they have offered is cherished. We are hoping for a personal note in each card.

    Please include words of gratitude as well as words of encouragement. We want Army families to know they are being thought of across this country; that their sacrifice is important, and that they are being covered in prayer.

    Please pray for the family as you seal their envelope, knowing with certainty that God knows exactly which family will receive your card. Continue to pray for the families throughout the holiday season. Ask God to bring them to your mind throughout the festivities. You will bring blessings to these homes.

    We are striving to get 2000 cards! In order to do this efficiently, we are unable to give out personal contact information for the Army Families. Once the cards are returned, we will be addressing the cards and will use our own return address.

    Please include your hometown & state with your signature inside your card, this will ensure that Army Families know people across America are praying for them and thinking of them. You may include a return address inside the card as well, but this is not required. Thank you for joining us in such a big undertaking. One extra Christmas card combined with the love of Jesus, just might change a life.

    A few reminders:

    1. Write “Dear Army Family” in the greeting of the card

    2. Please include a personal greeting inside each card. Include your hometown & state.

    3. Please STAMP the envelopes! You may send all the stamped cards in one large envelope or box to save on shipping.

    4. Please return cards by December 1, 2008.

    5. Please mail the cards to the following address:

    Dear Army Family
    Fort Sill – PWOC Frontier Chapel
    4121 Thomas Road
    Fort Sill, OK 73503

    Thank you,

    Amanda

    “Like cold water to a weary soul, so is good news from a distant land.” Proverbs 25:25

    These families will be without their spouses, mothers, fathers, brothers or sisters this Christmas season and I think this is such an incredible way to say thank you for the sacrifices they have made on our behalf. It’s a simple way to say we don’t take the sacrifice for granted.

  • CWDKids Winner

    Thanks so much for all the entries for the CWDKids gift certificate giveaway. I loved reading about everyone’s favorite things and added a few things to my wish list for Caroline.

    Oh, the shopping. I do love it.

    Anyone, we have a winner.

    Random Integer Generator

    Here are your random numbers:

    155
    Timestamp: 2008-11-15 16:33:06 UTC

    The winner is Shana at Our Farmer’s Almanac.

    Congratulations! And have fun shopping!

    If you liked the stuff at CWDKids, you can also check out their blog, Kidbits. It’s a great place to get the scoop on sales and special offers.

  • Edition 44: Fashion Friday

    A few days ago, Gulley and I got an email from our friend Steph. She asked if we wanted to meet for breakfast and then go to the grand opening of the new Nordstrom Rack store.

    Sure, count me in. By the way, what exactly is Nordstrom Rack?

    Turns out it’s a fancy name for a Nordstrom outlet, otherwise known as the store where dreams come true.

    So, yesterday after breakfast, we headed to the big grand opening.

    Apparently we weren’t the only ones who decided to attend. There were women everywhere grabbing clothes off racks, waiting in long lines just to get in the dressing room, and balancing four boxes of shoes and eight handbags at the same time.

    It was a sight to behold. Honestly, it brought a tear to my eye to see the dedication to shopping excellence.

    Gulley, Steph, and I started off as a merry little band of shoppers.

    We went straight to a rack full of Ed Hardy t-shirts and True Religion jeans. That was our first clue that we were in the midst of some seriously discounted prices.

    Pretty soon, we all went our separate ways as we searched the store for bargains.

    This is where I need to let y’all know that I am a fabulous shopper. Truly, I am like a bird dog in a field full of quail. (P will be so proud of me for that analogy, even though I really don’t know what it means other than I have skills for finding things.)

    I have a sense of what will look good, what is truly a good deal, and the ability to skim merchandise quickly to ensure someone else doesn’t beat me to the last of anything. Honestly, I am a little prideful when it comes to my shopping ability and am even a little picky about who I shop with because I don’t need any dead weight holding me back.

    And I mean that in the most loving way.

    Steph left me in the dust.

    From the moment we walked into the store, Gulley and I watched her eyes glaze over. She handed us each a Nordstrom Rack bag and began barking orders like a drill seargant, “DON’T OVERTHINK ANYTHING. JUST FILL THE BAG AND MAKE FINAL DECISIONS LATER!”

    While I was standing by a rack full of sweater dresses, marveling at the incredibly low prices, she had already made her way through half the store and abandoned her tote bag for a full-on shopping cart.

    Every now and then, she’d circle back to where we were with her cart full of things she thought we needed to see. Scarves, t-shirts, boots, and handbags. With dizzying efficiency, she’d say, “Gulley, you need this jacket because you can wear it to an Aggie football game! Mel, I found this pink shirt that will go with the scarf I showed you earlier! Girls, you need to get to the shoe department IMMEDIATELY and check out these boots! GO! GO! GO!” It was unlike anything I have ever experienced.

    And just when I thought I’d seen the height of shopping excellence, I glanced up and saw her standing next to a rack of coats while talking on her cell phone. Not only was she simultaneously looking for bargains for Gulley and me, but she was on the phone with her mama describing various items that she thought she might like.

    By the time we stood in a twenty minute line to check out, she had finished her Christmas shopping, bought three jackets for her mama and her mama’s best friend, found incredible sale items for Gulley and me, and become friends with most of the sales staff. She’d even befriended a lady whose shoes got stolen after she took them off while trying on a new pair.

    I humbly bow to her shopping prowess. It was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever witnessed.

    Sadly, I didn’t have my camera to document any of this in photos. P had the camera because he needed to take some photos for his landscape portfolio.

    Whatever, like that’s important.

    I desperately needed to take photos of all the mass shopping chaos and the cute scarf I bought. Oh, AND I saw Tony Parker (San Antonio Spurs? Married to Eva Longoria?) getting out of his white Ferrari. But the important thing is that P was able to take photos of someone’s Southern Wax Myrtles.

    So while I can’t show you photos of my bargain purchases, I can tell you about them. I bought a JWLA shirt very similar to this one for just $30.00. I found a darling multi-colored scarf with a ruffled edge. I bought a long, plaid tunic-type shirt that will look great with a belt and a beautiful sweater coat that was 75% off its regular price, otherwise known as dirt cheap.

    It was one of the best shopping experiences of my life. The savings! The clothes! The realization that I am friends with the most proficient shopper in the San Antonio area and perhaps the southern United States!

    My point is that if you find yourself in San Antonio, you need to head out to The Rim shopping center and get yourself to the Rack. There are some serious bargains to be found.

    You might even see Tony Parker. And maybe you’ll be fortunate enough to have your camera with you.

    Okay, don’t I usually answer some questions or something?

    1. Heather asks: “Am I allowed to wear leggings if I’m 36? I’m wondering if I could pull off leggings with my boots? Obviously, I’d wear a long sweater or whatever on top, but are they too trendy?”

    I may be slightly biased because I am 37 and don’t think I’m too old for leggings.

    Yes, it’s a trendy look but I am a fan. It’s all about finding the right pieces. A good pair of leggings, a nice sweater dress or tunic top and boots. Plus, I think you need to be a little tall so that the look doesn’t overwhelm your figure.

    You can find leggings everywhere right now, but these are really inexpensive. I’ve also seen these at Target.

    For the top, you could do something like this. Or this. Or this from Old Navy is cute and affordable.

    When it comes to boots, you can find them in all colors, sizes, styles and price ranges. I really like these. Or these because I have been dreaming about them for the last year or so.

    And don’t forget, even skinny jeans are okay if you wear them tucked into boots. It’s like the boots are miracle workers that redeem even the worst fashion travesties.

    2. Hollie asks: “I just bought these UGGs, they are really tall or you can fold them over. What would you wear with them to look like you bought them with some sort of clue? Please help.

    Hollie, please see answer to question 1. Those boots would be perfection with leggings or over skinny jeans.

    And I’m only about 98% envious that you own them.

    Who knows? Maybe I’ll find my very own pair for 150% off next time I go to the Rack.

    Which may be tomorrow.

    Y’all have a great Friday!

  • To all the tacos I’ve loved before

    I wasn’t always the Mexican food connoisseur I am today.

    In fact, much of my childhood was spent dining at Casa Elena Restaurant in Houston where my sister and I both grew to believe that we were speaking Spanish when we said, “HOT PLATE! HOT PLATE!”

    Honestly, I don’t remember if the food was any good or not, but I do vividly remember that it was where I experienced chips and salsa for the first time.

    Another childhood favorite was The Monterey House. The women in my family would order the “Summer Special” which consisted of a scoop of guacamole, a round queso chip, and a crispy beef taco. All I cared about was the candy made out of brown sugar that was always buried in the chip basket.

    Then, when I was in high school, I discovered Casa Ole. To this day I will order the Dinner El Paso, which is two cheese enchiladas covered in queso and is truly a culinary disaster on a microwaved plate. However, old habits and addictions to processed cheese die hard.

    As will my arteries.

    College was filled with midnight trips to Taco Bell or Taco Cabana depending on how much money I had left in my checking account. It was during this time that I discovered two things:

    1. Taco Bell hot sauce will take the tarnish off a penny

    2. My daddy had automatic overdraft protection on my checking account

    Who says college doesn’t equip you for the world?

    After graduation I moved to San Antonio. Honestly, I wasn’t that excited about it, in spite of the fact that it is the home of the best Mexican food in Texas. There are seriously over 800 Mexican restaurants in this city.

    Thanks to San Antonio, I discovered there is more to a breakfast taco than the folks at Whataburger would have you believe. The Taquito is just a cheap imitation that really only tastes good at 3:00 a.m. after two or eight beers. (That’s actually a third thing I learned in college.)

    After I moved here, there was an unfortunate period of time where I was employed as a door salesman.

    True story. I sold doors. And cried a lot.

    And wondered why I decided to major in Speech Communications.

    The only thing that kept me going during that dark career day was when one of the other salesmen introduced me to the Taco Feo (Ugly Taco) from El Milagrito. The Taco Feo is refried beans, beef fajita meat, and scrambled eggs wrapped in a homemade flour tortilla. Add a little spicy green chile sauce and your life will never be the same again.

    Colors will be brighter. The air will be crisper. Angels will sing.

    Sure, you’ll have horrendous heartburn but you won’t care.

    In the fourteen years I’ve lived here, I’ve discovered what I believe to be the best crispy tacos (Teka Molina) and the best puffy tacos (Patty’s Taco House).

    By the way, a puffy taco is like a crispy taco on steroids. Think big puffy shell filled meat, cheese and lettuce.

    However, it’s only been in the last year that I made the discovery of my life. The Taco Norteno.

    A Taco Norteno, which I believe translates to “Taco of the North” or perhaps “Yankee Taco”, consists of beef asada (thinly sliced beef), refried beans, shredded cabbage (this is crucial, no lettuce allowed), serrano peppers, Monterey Jack cheese, and a slice of avocado all wrapped in a lightly fried corn tortilla.

    Let’s give a handclap of thanksgiving for the corn tortilla.

    And the Monterey Jack cheese.

    And the serrano peppers.

    My tastebuds will never be the same.

    In fact, I may never be able to eat another Dinner El Paso, which will cause my arteries to rise up and call me blessed.

  • I’m worried about my delts (and I don’t mean a sorority)

    Before my trip to the Dominican, I wondered what the food would be like. What exactly is Dominican food?

    (Hey! Have I mentioned my trip to the Dominican? My word, it’s overkill at this point and I apologize.)

    I still can’t really say for sure but Dominican food seems to involve various unidentifiable meats fried into a ball-like shape, vegetables steamed beyond all recognition and color-definition, plantains, some kind of fried chicken (Please God, I hope it was chicken.) and something called Monfogo that involved pork-cracklings.

    Mmmm…just like mama used to make.

    And really nothing made me feel better before a meal than when our leader Brian would say, “You can eat the fruit. It SHOULD be okay.”

    The difference between SHOULD and DEFINITELY is a big gamble. And losing means you might find yourself doing the walk of shame to the airplane bathroom about 152 times. In ten minutes. I believe I’ll take a pass on the papaya.

    Thank goodness for beans and rice. They were the light in my darkest culinary hour.

    Needless to say, since returning home, I’ve been on a bit of a food binge.

    I’ve eaten untold quantities of Mexican food. Seriously, if you hear rumors of a worldwide avocado shortage, it may be my fault. I’ve had breakfast tacos, tacos nortenos, puffy tacos, crispy tacos and quesadillas. And that was just yesterday.

    Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

    I made chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner last night and washed it down with an iced sugar cookie in the shape of a turkey that I’d bought (and HID from my beloved family) earlier in the day.

    Gulley invited me over for lunch because she’d made chicken salad and she knows I love her chicken salad. What she didn’t know was that I would eat 3/4 of the bowl by myself.

    The eating isn’t the problem so much as my lack of activity over the last two months. My morning exercise regimen has basically consisted of multiple reps of lifting a Starbucks Grande cup to my mouth.

    When Caroline started Kindergarten way back in August, I had the best of physical fitness intentions. Mimi and Bops have an elliptical machine, so my plan was to drop Caroline off at school every morning and then go work out on the elliptical.

    I have executed that plan exactly NONE times. Really, I blame my car and its obsession with the parking lot outside of Starbucks.

    I told myself that I was just enjoying my free time for a little while, but would really get serious in September.

    But then it was still so hot.

    Then I got bronchitis.

    And then I broke my toe.

    Clearly, I have been the victim of some kind of mass anti-cardiovascular health conspiracy.

    But after evaluating my intake of cheese, tortilla chips, and refried beans over the last several days, I realize it’s time to step up my exercise game.

    Which is to say I’m actually going to do some.

    I think the lowest point came yesterday morning when I attempted to adjust the strap on my bra and my deltoid and pectoralis major totally cramped up from the over-exertion.

    Sadly, that’s a true story.

    And even more sad, I just shared it with the internet.