Author: Big Mama

  • I’m forever y’alls. Faithfully.

    Happy Valentines Day to the internet. I hope you all have a day filled with heart-shaped boxes full of chocolate with mysterious centers.

    I thought long and hard for about five minutes about what I’d write about today. I mean, after all, it is the high and holy day for the Hallmark corporation and I felt like I needed to give it the proper respect. I finally decided to present my list of the Best and Worst love songs ever.

    But then, the more I thought about it, I decided that list would be entirely too complicated. Obviously the list of the best would include classics like “Crazy” by Patsy Cline and “At Last” by Etta James and “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” by Meatloaf.

    It just didn’t seem fair to poor Sergio Mendes who was destined to end up on my Worst List with “Never Gonna Let You Go”.

    What to do? What to do?

    I hereby present my list of songs that were extremely meaningful to me during my teen years, otherwise known as The Time I Cried in My Bedroom and Lip-Synched Dramatically in Front of the Mirror for Seven Years.

    And remember, this is back when I looked like this.

    And this.

    There were days when the only thing that got me through was the Chicago 17 Album. God bless you, Peter Cetera and David Foster.

    Here is my list.

    1. “You’re the Inspiration” by Chicago

    I didn’t actually have a boyfriend who was my inspiration when this song came out. However, my best friend Tracy and her boyfriend Wade had been going together for like two whole weeks and this was their song.

    I could only hope to find that kind of true love for myself.

    2. “Open Arms” by Journey

    It wouldn’t be fair to my fifth grade crush, Phillip, if I left this song off the list. There were so many Friday nights at The Magic Skate when they would play this song and I would giggle with my friends about how cute he was with that comb sticking out of his back pocket.

    But, like the song says, “we drifted apart”, mainly due to the fact that we ended up attending different junior highs.

    3. “All Out of Love” by Air Supply

    If you didn’t love you some Air Supply in the 80’s, then I don’t know if we can be friends. Why can’t I quit you, Air Supply?

    4. “Keep on Loving You” by Reo Speedwagon

    I kept my mama’s cassette player next to the radio at all times so that any time this song came on, I could instantly press record and play. And maybe, just maybe, this would be the time I’d get the entire song without the DJ talking over it.

    5. “Stuck on You” by Lionel Richie

    Oh, I know Lionel had other songs that were more popular. You know like, “Hello”, when he dated that blind girl that sculpted that weird-looking bust of him.

    But this song was special because it was the song we were dancing to when a boy named Danny asked me to go with him. Of course, we were twelve so we never really went anywhere or did anything. However, just knowing that I could draw his name in a big, puffy heart on my bookcovers was enough.

    6. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler

    I won’t even lie to y’all. To this day if this song comes on the radio I will turn it up and sing along complete with hand gestures.

    You would think I’d be embarrassed to admit that. And I should be.

    7. “Crazy for You” by Madonna

    This was back in the good old days when Madonna wore lace hose, fingerless gloves and those huge bows in her hair. I can’t remember who I was crazy for when this song came out, but it might have just been Madonna.

    Who knew she’d still be around at 75?

    8. “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera

    Karate Kid II, anyone?

    This song played a crucial role in my own personal love triangle the summer before my sophomore year in high school. Neither one of those boys ended up traveling to Japan to use their Ka-Rah-Tay skills to fight for my honor except for in my dreams.

    And if memory serves, that love triangle ended the same way Kelly Taylor decided between Dylan and Brandon. I chose me.

    Or maybe I just chose another boy. I can’t really remember.

    9. “Tonight I Celebrate My Love” by Peabo Bryson

    This will always remind me of Bo and Hope on “Days of Our Lives”. Now that is true love.

    I mean their love has survived eight fake deaths, three remarriages, several brain-washings and multiple misunderstandings caused by Stefano DiMera.

    If that isn’t love worth celebrating, then I don’t know what is.

    10. “Separate Lives” by Phil Collins

    This totally summed up how I felt when my crush of over two years had to move away. I was devastated. I related so much to the movie “White Nights” and this song, except that we weren’t apart due to the Cold War and my need to be a ballet dancer.

    We were apart because his dad got a new job in another city.

    But still, the similarities were uncanny.

    I realize I have left out many, many quality songs. It is hard to narrow down the quality music from the 80’s and I already feel bad that “Heaven” by Bryan Adams didn’t make my list. Not to mention “Babe” by Styx and “Is This Love?” by Whitesnake.

    However, I tried to limit it to songs that meant something to me. Songs that reflect a time in my life when real love wasn’t measured by superficial things, but by the proximity of your locker to the one you loved and whether or not he had a driver’s license.

    So, what about y’all? What are the songs that made you want to couple skate every time you heard them?

  • The first gift of Valentines Day



    I got to see Leeland in concert back in November. He is incredibly talented and has such a heart for God that shines through in his music. I just loved him.

    Anyway, for the next 24 hours starting at midnight tonight until 11:59 p.m. tomorrow, y’all have the chance to order his new CD “Opposite Way” for just $7.00 plus free shipping.

    DO NOT MISS OUT.

    Go here right now and order it. Do it. Do it now.

    Why are you still reading?

    Go. HERE.

    Well, you might want to wait until midnight. But then you should go.

    GRAMMY-nominated, 5-piece rock band Leeland, from Baytown, Texas, goes the “opposite way”on February 26, 2008, with its second in-studio release, Opposite Way. Produced by Matt Bronleewe (Jars of Clay) and engineered by Ben Grosse (Ben Folds, Red Hot Chili Peppers), Opposite Way is passionate and progressive music that provides an unforgettable, emotional experience for all who listen.

  • HGTV at 3:00 a.m.

    Caroline woke up coughing last night around 3 a.m. and I spent the next two hours dispensing cough medicine, getting Kleenex, bringing her cups of water and finally, taking her to the bathroom.

    Since it is my misfortune that she has inherited her daddy’s propensity for cheeriness in the wee hours of the morning, she was bright as sunshine despite a stopped up nose and a horrendous cough.

    As I propped myself up against the wall while she went to the bathroom, she chattered non-stop. Finally she stood up, placed one hand lovingly on the wall and said, “Oh Mama, this color is so pretty. I just love what you’ve done in here.”

  • I won’t embarrass myself by sharing how many I’ve had today

    So I really meant to have this recipe up by around noon today, but Caroline woke up around 5 a.m. holding her right ear and telling me it hurt. Of course that led to a visit to the pediatrician to confirm the ear infection and get a prescription for antibiotics.

    Then, we dropped off the prescription at HEB and ran to Hollywood Video to rent a few movies in a futile attempt to keep her fairly quiet and calm for the rest of the day. Of course as we were in Hollywood Video and she was jumping from side to side, I told her she needed to keep it low-key.

    She said, “Low-key? I don’t know what that means.”

    Don’t I know it, baby girl.

    We picked out a few movies and headed back to HEB to pick up our prescriptions. By this time her ear was really bothering her again and she actually wanted me to carry her in the store and kept her head on my shoulder.

    This has never happened in the history of the universe.

    I carried her up to the pharmacy counter where they informed me that because their computers were down, they couldn’t give us our prescriptions even though I could see them sitting right there on the counter.

    Frustration, thy name is modern technology.

    There is nothing like holding your 37 pound, whimpering child while being told you can’t have the medicine that will make her feel better. I had to pull out my Shirley McClain impression and beg them to, at the very least, give me the ear-numbing drops.

    Finally, they gave us all our medications. We came home, got medicated, and have spent much of the afternoon lying in my bed watching “Muppets Treasure Island”. A true cinematic classic.

    All that to say, Hey! Here’s the recipe for Chocolate Chip Brownies, and all y’all had to do was read my tale of gloom and despair to get it.

    Chocolate Chip Brownies/Cookies (it can be either, it has multiple personalities much like Shirley McClain has had multiple lives)

    2 cups flour
    1/2 tsp. baking powder
    1 tsp. baking soda
    1/2 tsp. salt
    3/4 cup unsalted butter
    1 cup sugar
    1 cup brown sugar
    2 eggs
    2 cups Quaker oats
    1 tsp. vanilla
    1 package chocolate chips

    Cream butter and sugars. Add eggs, vanilla, and dry ingredients. Do not blow in the flour unless you would like to spend the next hour cleaning up the powdery residue. Add oats and chocolate chips. Bake in a 9 x 13 greased baking dish at 350 for 25 minutes. Or for cookies, drop by tablespoonfuls on lightly greased baking sheet and bake for 12 minutes.

    And let me just say, if there has ever been a 24 hour period that I’ve been thankful to have these on hand, today is that day.

  • Because cleanliness is next to impossible

    I dropped Caroline off at school yesterday morning and came straight home. I was a woman on a mission. A mission to clean my entire house. ALL AT ONCE.

    It has almost been a year ago that I became officially unemployed by the pharmaceutical industry. With that decision came a few changes. No phenomenal health insurance. No bi-weekly direct deposits into the checking account. No 401K program. And, most importantly, no housekeeper.

    I’d like to say that I was most concerned about no longer contributing to a retirement plan and thus, leaving my financial future up in the air. But the truth is what I was most afraid of was having to clean my own house. Clearly, my priorities are in order.

    And since that time, I have risen to the challenge. We have managed to live in a relatively clean house. I have become acquainted with Soft Scrub cleanser and the miraculous hard-water-deposit-eliminating power of vinegar. I mean it’s not like I had never cleaned a house before, I had just never cleaned a house with a child constantly underfoot.

    I may not be that bright but I understand that Small Child + Deadly Cleaning Chemicals = bad combination.

    All summer long I kept saying that once Caroline went back to school I was going to clean the entire house. But then school started and I found better uses of my time such as looking for funky, retro shoes at Target or staring in the mirror trying to figure out what is going on with my complexion. See? PRIORITIES.

    But finally, I could stand it no longer. I mean the house had been clean, but I never made the time commitment to have it all clean at the same time. I’d clean a bathroom and vacuum the living room one day. And then I’d dust the dining room and clean the kitchen windows on another day and by then the bathroom would be dirty again and the living room rug would once again be covered in unknown crumbly substances ranging from Chex Mix to ground up Crayons.

    So, with the fervor that can only be achieved by a woman high on LimeAway fumes, I scrubbed, I scoured, I vacuumed and I dusted. I even used a toothbrush to clean hard to reach areas. I moved rugs and cleaned underneath them, and, interestingly enough, found an old SweetTart under the living room rug that had to have been there for the better part of four years.

    Unless there are small elves that burrow under our living room rug at night to enjoy a snack of SweetTarts. Which is probably the more likely scenario.

    It took me all day and by the time I was done it was time to go pick up Caroline. We went to HEB for a few quick grocery type items and then came home.

    Since I was hosting Bible Study, I decided I should bake something and Caroline wanted to help. I hated to defile my pristine kitchen, but I thought we could manage to bake with minimal mess. As we poured the two cups of flour into the bowl, I told Caroline, “Don’t touch the flour. Don’t stir it. Just leave it alone.”

    I turned to pour the brown sugar and butter into the mixer, then turned back around in time to see Caroline put her face right over the bowl of flour and BLOW as hard as she could.

    Yes, she did.

    And, literally, my clean kitchen went up in a puff of smoke.

    However, in the spirit of turning my misfortune into something bright and happy and shiny, later today I’ll post the recipe for the Chocolate Chip Brownies we finally made after we survived The Flour Fiasco of ’08, also known as That Time I Almost Lost My Mind. While the mental breakdown wasn’t so great, the brownies were delicious.

  • I feel inspired to start a group called Women of Queso

    Well, this weekend was very educational for me. I learned that y’all are fans of the giveaway, especially one that involves $300 worth of clothing for your little ones.

    I also learned that Girl Scout Cookies have different names and selections depending on what part of the country you live in. And now all I can think about is the cookies I may be missing out on. I have never heard of this cookie called a Caramel Dee-Lite.

    However, it is hard for me to believe that anything could surpass the Thin Mint in pure delicious-ness. Which is why I’ll be hitting the local shopping centers around 4:00 today in search of little cookie pushers.

    I’ve got a fever and the only cure is Thin Mints.

    But all of that educational information pales in comparison to the biggest event of my weekend.

    I got to meet FryDaddy, also known as Travis Cottrell of BigBoo Podcast fame, live and in person.

    As it turns out, the annual Women of Faith National Conference was in San Antonio this weekend and Travis was part of the line-up. Do y’all see how I just call him Travis now and not Travis Cottrell? Or Mr. Cottrell? Or the man who is married to the beautiful woman with the most fabulous trouser jeans in the history of modern fashion?

    And really, I need to send a special shout out to those Trouser Jeans because had they not existed, Boomama never would have called me from The Deeper Still event in Nashville to tell me about them. If she hadn’t called me, then we wouldn’t have begun our quest to figure out what brand they were and where we could acquire this denim phenomenon for ourselves. She never would have written about them on her blog and, thus, we never would have communicated with FryDaddy.

    Here’s to you Trouser Jeans and here’s to you, Angela, for wearing them well.

    Anyway, Women of Faith was great. I didn’t get to attend the entire weekend, but Gulley and I went both Thursday and Friday night. When we arrived, we picked up our tickets and I was tickled to see that we had floor seats on the third row.

    The last time I had floor seats on the third row was at a Genesis concert when I was a sophomore in high school and that’s only because I worked at Sound Castle Music and was able to buy them the minute they went on sale. Which I did. Because I loved me some Phil Collins and had wept many teen angst-filled tears to “In Too Deep”.

    So, we made our way to the floor of the Alamodome after asking several ushers how to get there because, like I said, I have never had floor seats. We finally located the third row, sat in our seats, and opened up our plastic bags filled with various pamphlets AND a chocolate chip granola bar.

    Sweet. I love a bag with a free snack treat.

    Everything was great until some women came up and told us we were in their seats. We put the granola bars back in the bags and went in search of an usher who could help us out. We wandered aimlessly as we passed by seats that all had neon green signs on them saying “MAX LUCADO” and “MANDISA” and “PRINCE”.

    Oh I kid. There wasn’t a seat that said “PRINCE”, it just had that symbol he likes to use.

    I kid again. Prince was not in attendance at the Women of Faith conference.

    And then I saw a neon green sign in the third row that had my name on it. Seriously. It said BIG MAMA. No, it actually had my first and last name on it. Just like I was Max Lucado, but without all the best-selling books and phenomenal ministry.

    Of course I played it totally cool and nonchalant and took out my camera and took a picture. Of the sign. With my name. Because my inner dork will win out every time.

    Please note my awesome photoshop skills that I used to erase my last name. I think I might benefit from an instructional pamphlet.

    After I took the picture, we actually sat in the seats as opposed to just staring at them. And right about the time I had regained my composure, Gulley grabbed my arm and said, “IS THAT MANDISA?” It was. About five feet away from us. And here is where I feel the need to share that her skin is flawless.

    We watched her walk up on stage in possibly some of the coolest jeans I have ever seen (do y’all see a denim thread here?) and began to sing “Shackles”. And I cried. I did.

    I cried because “Shackles” is one of the best songs ever. I cried because Mandisa was ten feet away from me singing it. And I cried because God is just so awesome.

    Here’s a picture of the lovely, talented Mandisa. I realize you cannot really see her jeans nor her flawless complexion because my photography skills? They are limited.

    But at least y’all have an awesome view of half of the woman’s head who was sitting in front of me.

    And here’s a tip. If any of y’all are planning on attending a Women of Faith event, it might be a good idea to pack some Kleenex in your purse because odds are good that at some point you might shed a few tears and wiping your nose on your sleeve isn’t really an option unless you’re four years old and think sleeves are disposable.

    The next night was equally as good. Max Lucado spoke on John 3:16 and I was overwhelmed with his picture of what God’s love truly means. Then FryDaddy sang and it was awesome. And I got to meet sweet Kimberly, who is Travis’s assistant.

    Hi Kimberly, do not feel the pressure to leave a comment. I love lurkers and commenters equally.

    Finally, it was all over and Gulley and I began the long walk back to my car. The length of this walk was compounded by the fact that we both had on our Target suede boots. Boots that I recommended y’all buy because they were so cute and such a good deal. But as Gulley told me about 48 times on the walk back to the car, they are the antithesis of comfortable. In fact, walking in them is an experience akin to hopping on a pogo stick covered in nails.

    It made me want to take “these shackles off my feet so I can dance”.

    We limped our way to the car and sat in traffic. And here’s another thing I learned. If you are leaving an event that has been all about the love of Christ and are driving a huge van with SAVING THE LOST spray-painted on the side, you might want to help a sister out and let her in the line of traffic instead of cutting her off completely. I’m pretty sure the only reason “Thou Shall Not Cut Off Thy Neighbor and Be Rude” isn’t one of the Ten Commandments is because Moses and the Israelites didn’t have cars.

    It was 11:15 at night. Gulley and I were both starving in spite of the granola bar in our plastic bags and discussed going to eat chips and queso somewhere. I was so eagerly anticipating the Mexican food goodness, but Gulley decided she needed to get home since she was hosting a birthday party for three-year-olds the next day.

    And like I told her, the dry Smart Start I ate was really just as good as the chips and queso would have been. Except not.

    But considering I’m the one that encouraged her to buy those Target boots that will henceforth be known as Instruments of Torture and Suffering, I owed it to her to let her go home guilt-free.

    Which is more than I can say for how I feel after eating all those Girl Scout cookies.