Author: Big Mama

  • Se habla espanol

    Caroline and I went to Michael’s yesterday to look for some ribbon. She begged me not to make her ride in the cart and since Michael’s has these dinky, little carts, I agreed.

    I’m looking at all this ribbon, completely overwhelmed by all the choices, and she’s pushing the cart. Finally, she says “Vamamos Mama, let’s go. VAMAMOS”. Then, later on during lunch, she ate her peanut butter and jelly and said “Yum, delicioso!” Can you say too much Dora the Explorer?

    Seriously, that’s impressive because I took 4 semesters, yes 4 semesters of Spanish in college and you know what I can tell you? El burro es un animal de Mexico. Let me know if you need me to translate.

  • Can you hear me now?

    About a year ago we switched our all of our phone, T.V., computer services to Time Warner Cable. I pay the bills and thought it would be so easy to have one little bundled package that we pay for each month. The only problem…everytime you use the phone, the wireless service on the computer disconnects itself. Our phone service has been so bad that we never use our home phone. We’ll answer it and tell people to call us back on our cell. This has been going on for months and after several phone calls to Time Warner, I decided that I was done. After all, paying for unlimited long distance doesn’t really do you much good if you can’t use your phone to begin with.

    I picked up the phone (my cell phone) and called AT&T to see what they could offer. Oh, they promise you the world. This girl on the phone was so helpful but honestly, I couldn’t keep track of anything that she was telling me. If I sign up today AND fill out some form AND turn in my last Time Warner bill AND add my cell phone service package AND sell them my first born child, I am eligible for a $49.00 rebate. On top of that, I can get Dish network for $19.99 for 12 months with an additional $2.00 off for the first six months and $4.00 off for three more months. I’m always so suspicious of all of this because it’s like they’re trying to confuse you so when you get your bill you really have no idea what it should be. To quote Cal Naughton Jr. in Talladega Nights, “My head was all twisted up like a pretzel.”

    So being the savvy business person that I am, I asked the burning question on my mind…”Do we get a DVR player?” Why yes, yes we do. We get TWO. Sign me up.

    I still don’t understand all the ways that AT&T is going to save us money, but the service can’t be any worse and we get TWO DVRs. What else do you need to know?

  • Turning fashion icons into fashion victims

    I was really going to try to do a Thursday Thirteen today, so what does it say about my creative thinking skills that I couldn’t think of one subject to think up thirteen things about? Maybe since I have seven days until next Thursday, I can think of something between now and then. In the meantime, here are my thoughts on last night’s Project Runway which is my new addiction (along with blogging) and not just because there is NOTHING to watch on T.V.

    Last night’s challenge was for the designers to update the look of various fashion icons. The wacky, zany twist was that the models got to choose the designer, but oh wait, it gets better. Not only did the models choose the designer, they got to choose the fashion icon. There were pictures set up of all the choices and the models had to risk life and skinny, frail limb to get the one they wanted. Remember, a lot of these girls haven’t eaten since 2004 so they probably have a lot of pent up anger and frustration. It was truly great T.V.

    I was a little nervous when I saw some of the fashion icons and even more nervous when Angela got Audrey Hepburn. Is there anyone more classic than Audrey? I just knew Angela was going to cover her in those rosettes that are her hideous trademark, but actually the dress she designed was very tasteful, in spite of the fact that she did in fact add some sort of rosette feature. I breathed a sigh of relief. I know Angela won the challenge last week, but I honestly wasn’t crazy about her outfit…it was a little too Michael Jackson in the 80’s with those tricky rosette buttons, but hey a panel of fashion experts voted for it so what do I know?

    Laura had Katherine Hepburn as her icon and I loved what she did with her outfit. It wasn’t anything flashy, like Kayne’s “Marilyn meets Gwen Stefani”, but in my opinion it was totally modern day Katherine. Tasteful, tailored, elegant. I like Laura’s style and it was a perfect match with her icon.

    By far, my favorite of the night was Michael. I really like him and not just because he used the phrase “Captain Save a Ho”, but because he stays above the fray and focuses on his designs. Now, I won’t be wearing magenta hot pants and a plunging neckline in this lifetime, but the outfit was fabulous. He’s my pick to win the whole thing.

    As for the worst, Jeffrey designed an outfit for modern Madonna that I think was so ugly that really even Madonna wouldn’t wear it and don’t even get me started on Robert’s suit for Jackie O. I bet she was rolling over in her grave at that cheap linen (I think Vincent was laughing to himself when he let Robert borrow it) and rope belt. Yes, you read that right… A ROPE BELT. For Jackie O, the ultimate fashion icon.

    At the end of the night, Bradley was voted off for designing an outfit that even Cher wouldn’t be caught dead in and that’s saying something because you know…she’s Cher. I think Bradley was actually a little relieved to be leaving. He always seemed like he had just wandered in off the street and thought “Hey cool, a contest. Sign me up”. I don’t think he knew why he was there in the first place. He just heard there were going to be models involved.

  • Step 1…Admit you have a problem

    Yesterday marked the day that I have been dreading for 3 years. I knew it was coming and I agonized, strategized, and theorized on the best steps to take to overcome an addiction problem right here in my home.

    Hello, my name is Caroline and I am addicted to my pacifier.

    Oh, it started innocently enough. When they brought my little bundle back into the hospital room after cleaning her up, she had a huge pacifier stuck in her mouth. The pediatric nurse told me that she was the most laid back baby she had ever seen as long as she had her “paci” in her mouth.

    When we brought her home 2 days later, my mother-in-law tried to convince me that I should take the paci away immediately. “It’s best that she never even gets used to it”, she said. Trying to be the obedient daughter-in-law, I took the paci out of Caroline’s mouth, wrapped her up and placed her in her bassinet. My resolve lasted all of about 5 minutes of incessant crying at which point I decided my mother-in-law needed to hush her mouth with all that crazy talk.

    I can’t tell you the nights that P. or I spent with our arm hanging over the side of the bassinet holding the paci in her mouth. It was the key to sleep, oh lovely sleep. The day that Caroline learned how to put the paci back in her own mouth (and I can’t overstate this) was one of the best days of her babyhood.

    Like all addictions, it started so innocently but before you knew it, we were giddy with the power the paci could wield. Every naptime and bedtime I filled her crib with no less than 6 or 7 pacis to ensure that she would be able to find one and soothe herself back to sleep. At the pediatrician’s office when they asked to make sure we had gotten rid of the paci by age 18 months, I told them yes we had and technically it wasn’t a lie because we had gotten rid of it…right before we walked into the exam room.

    I knew in my heart there would come a day that it would all have to end. I began the build up to breaking the addiction early this summer. I explained that 3 year olds don’t have pacis because they are big girls, and big girls get to do so many fun things that they don’t even need pacis.

    She seemed to buy it and would tell complete strangers, “I’m going to be 3 and I don’t need my pacis anymore”. The girl talked a good game.

    I’ve been procrastinating for the last few days, knowing it had to happen but dreading it with every fiber of my being. In the end she decided that today was the day. We were driving home from my sister’s house and I asked her if she was ready to give up the paci. She said “yes Mama, let’s do it today. I want to throw them in garbage today.”

    We got home, gathered the pacis and with great ceremony marched out to the outside trash where she dropped them one by one into the trash can. Honestly, I was relieved but a little sad to see them go. Everyday she loses a little bit more “babyness” and becomes more and more a little girl. The paci has been such a part of her babyhood and it’s a little weird to think that it’s one more thing that’s done.

    As I rocked her and read to her tonight before bed, I could tell her resolve was crumbling a little. She looked at me and said “Mama, I don’t want to be a big girl”. It broke my heart just a little because I’m not sure I’m ready for her to be a big girl either. So I hugged her real tight and told her that I was proud of her and while she may be a big girl, she’ll always be her Mama’s baby.

  • Random things that have made me laugh this week

    There are a few things that have been said in my presence this week that are too funny not to share. I’d love to somehow weave them into a brilliant post, but my limited writing skills seem to have taken leave. So here they are in no particular order of “funniness”.

    1. My mom came to visit this weekend. She never quite finishes her whole thought on a subject. We were discussing my grandmother’s health issues and my mom says “Well you know she has a really good doctor. He’s tall and he’s from Pakistan.”

    No offense to any tall Pakistani physicians who might be reading my blog, but I’m not sure that those two traits alone qualify you to cut me open for any type of major surgery (or minor surgery for that matter).

    2. Gulley was over today and was talking about her cousin getting married. His parents are divorced and not really in touch with each other, so his entire rehearsal dinner will be planned by his dad. This is a man who wears a belt with the name “Russell” on the back, not because his name is Russell but because his Mama bought it for him at a garage sale. Not to mention that he currently lives in a solar powered cabin. Gulley said “It’ll be like having a dinner planned by Jed Clampett”.

    3. I was getting Caroline out of her carseat a few days ago when she looked down and saw a 3 day old barely inflated balloon on the floorboard. She said “Look Mama, that looks like your boob”. Nice.

  • A Book Meme

    Okay this is my first meme and I was tagged by Shalee, so here it goes. The thing you need to remember is that I love books, I adore books and for me to narrow anything down to just a few choices is next to impossible.

    1. What book changed your life? I know everyone says the Bible and that’s true for me as well, but as far as something that really changed how I thought about my Christian faith, I would have to say there are two books. The first is No Wonder they Call Him the Saviour by Max Lucado. I read it in college when I had really hit rock bottom and it truly brought me back to my faith in Christ. The second would be Abandoned to God by David McCasland. It’s the biography of Oswald Chambers and is an incredible book. There’s one epiphany he had that still sticks with me when I start feeling all high and mighty, that anything another human being has done, good or evil, I am capable of doing except for the grace of God.

    2. What book have you read more than once? Honestly, the list would be way too long because any book I love, I have read at least a dozen times. As a girl, it was anything in the Little House on the Prairie series or anything by Judy Blume. Now, it would have to be Gone with the Wind, Lonesome Dove, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Redeeming Love, and Julie.

    3. What book would you want on a desert island? Again, I know everyone says the Bible, so I’ll say Little Women. There is just something so comforting about that book to me. When Caroline first came home from the hospital I watched that movie over and over again because I just needed to feel enveloped in a peaceful, gentler time and the book gives me the same feeling.

    4. What book has made you laugh? The Nanny Diaries cracked me up the first time I read it but having re-read it since becoming a mom it makes me a little sad now too. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood always makes me laugh. The Girlfriends Guide to Toddlers’ is hysterical because I can relate to pretty much every page. When I was younger I loved the Soup books. Anybody remember those?

    5. What book has made you cry? I cry fairly easily at fictional characters, but here’s the short list. To Kill a Mockingbird, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (laugh & cry, that’s a good book), and Lonesome Dove.

    6. What book do you wish had been written? A mother’s complete guide to getting a child to give up their pacifier. I’ll write more about that later.

    7. What book do you wish had never been written? Books mean different things to different people, so I can’t say there is any book I wish hadn’t been written. Everyone has a right to their opinion.

    8. What book are you currently reading? The Strong Willed Child (I need it) by James Dobson and Letters to My Daughters by Mary Matalin. I’ve read it before but it has some great things to say about raising a daughter and it makes me laugh out loud at times.

    9. What books have you been meaning to read? I usually wait to get recommendations from friends but I have been wanting to read The Secret Life of Bees.

    So there you have it, my book recommendations. If you’ve read this far and are interested, consider yourself tagged!