Diary

I read something yesterday that just cinches the fact that if you have a new T.V. show on a network, you don’t want me to be a fan because it will signal its immediate cancellation. The latest victim of my adoration is Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Apparently, it is being cancelled very soon.

Each fall I pick out a few shows and decide to give them a whirl. This season’s lucky recipients of Big Mama’s viewing time were Studio 60, Ugly Betty, Vanished, and technically Brothers and Sisters, even though I have yet to watch an actual episode I do have them all recorded on DVR, you know for the next time I have 6 free hours to catch up on one show.

So far, Studio 60 is the first to go and I am shocked. I thought for sure that I had it right with this show…it’s smart, it’s funny, and it’s being cancelled. I’m not sure what has happened to Vanished because I lost interest after the second episode which is saying something because I watched every episode of Reunion last year until it got cancelled, and now I’ll never know who murdered what’s her name with the curly hair.

And at this point y’all are wondering what Reunion was? Yes, that’s my point. For information sake, let me tell you that it was one of the most poorly acted and written “dramas” ever on T.V. and I am saying this as someone who was a fan of Beverly Hills 90210.

My gift is definitely not predicting what will be successful. I didn’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, Alias, or 24 until the second seasons after every one else in the free world was raving about how great they were. I was too busy watching Reunion or Related, which was another show that couldn’t withstand my viewership.

I’m not sure what my point is, other than letting y’all know that I know how to pick bad T.V. I mean obviously I watch The Bachelor and America’s Next Top Model but those are good because of their inherent badness. What I’m talking about is non-reality programming. It’s too late for Studio 60, I just hope that Ugly Betty can handle the pressure.

I’d hate to think that I’d end this season 0 for 4.

Let me start by saying that I never pretend to be all that current. Since having Caroline 3 years ago, I rarely am the first person to see any new movie unless it is something of cinematical greatness and importance such as Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby or The Devil Wears Prada.

In the same way that I don’t know any songs currently on the top 10 list, y’all can also make a safe bet that I haven’t seen the majority of Oscar nominated movies over the last 3 years.

Last week, thanks to my new fancy AT&T Dish Network service, I was able to record Finding Neverland. Tonight, I actually watched it and let me say that I loved this movie.

We watch a lot of Peter Pan in this house because it is Caroline’s all time favorite Disney movie. Who needs Cinderella and Princess Jasmine when you can have Captain Hook, a crocodile, Indians, and Tinkerbell?

Maybe that’s why I loved Finding Neverland so much, because the story of Peter Pan is so fresh in my mind having watched it 187 times in the last month. All I know is I loved the line when Johnny Depp as J.M. Barrie said, “Little boys should never be put to bed because they’ll wake up in the morning a whole day older”. It reminded me that even days like yesterday go by so fast and she’ll be grown before I blink.

Maybe it’s because we both have braces, but I adore Ugly Betty. I think it is one of the best shows on T.V. right now. Any of y’all watching it?

I knew I loved it before tonight, but good gracious when she walked down the street wearing that butterfly costume and Walter caught her in his net, I knew for sure that this is my new must see T.V.

Did you ever have someone that you thought was your friend, that you thought would stand by you no matter what and then they let you down? You had to come to the sad realization that they weren’t perfect after all.

This happened to me last night with my good friend DVR.

I had spent the entire week looking forward to the Project Runway season finale (I never said that my life is filled with excitement). As the clock ticked down to 9:00 last night, I grabbed my bag of Sour Patch Kids and exiled myself to the bedroom so that I could watch in perfect peace since I have a husband who likes to heckle the T.V. shows I prefer.

Just as Tim Gunn appeared onscreen tonight, Caroline started to cry. I was recording Project Runway so I hit pause to go take care of my child because in spite of what y’all might think, I do have my priorities in the proper order (most of the time). I gave Caroline some Benadryl (she really does have a cold, don’t judge me) and returned to PR and my candy kids.

I watched the drama unfold. Did Jeffrey cheat or not? Will he attack Laura? Who will handle the stress of Olympus Fashion Week? And then, the runway shows actually begin…and then, my DVR flashes a message onscreen to let me know that due to signal problems part of my program did not record.

Excuse me?

EXCUSE ME?

Frantic fast forwarding and rewinding ensue because surely there has been some mistake. Nope, no mistake has been made other than my complete dependence on my DVR.

The “part” of my program that didn’t record was the most IMPORTANT PART of the entire show. How do I know who to mock and who to cheer for if I don’t see the Runway show?

Oh cruel, cruel hand of fate.

Since I couldn’t stand it, I went ahead and watched the rest of the show without seeing the Runway. I know that Jeffrey won and to me that just proves the point that most people working in fashion have no idea what women really want on their bodies. I’m not into wearing anything inspired by Asian cartoons and demons. Call me crazy.

I know that Bravo will show the finale 10,872 more times before the weekend is over, but it’s just not the same. My previously faithful and loyal DVR let me down and I’m not sure when that trust will be rebuilt.

I don’t want to make empty threats, but I may be breaking out the old VCR for backup to record Grey’s Anatomy tomorrow night. I just can’t open myself up to this kind of disappointment again.

Every week I tell myself that I’m not going to discuss The Bachelor, but y’all it is just too good. I wasn’t sure that tonight could possibly have anything more entertaining than last weeks’ drunken debacle but then, oh then came Erica with her explanation of how “Agnes” understands her so well because Erica speaks English with an Italian accent.

I am not lying when I say that I almost fell off my bed from laughing so hard.

So good news everyone, you can plan that trip to Venice and as long as you add a few vowels to the end of your words and don’t use any prepositions…the locals will totally understand you.

Just think of all the money you’ll save from not having to sign up for those Berlitz classes!

You can imagine my sadness when Erica was sent home, but at least she didn’t disappoint and continued to plead her sad, pampered life case through the window of the limo. I was delighted to see that she will be back next week. Y’all know that ABC wasn’t going to easily let go of that level of crazy.

There was also a moment at the beginning of the show tonight where the “Prince” had a one on one date with Jamie. They completely recreated the entire opera date scene from Pretty Woman complete with red dress and borrowed jewels. She and the “Prince” arrived at a gorgeous Italian opera house for a private concert. Even in the comfort of my own home, the whole thing made me want to crawl under the covers, which is one of the reasons I could never be on The Bachelor (the other reasons being that I am married and have a 3 year old).

I am not a fan of over the top romantic gestures especially not from people I barely know. I realize that some women love it and once upon a time I thought I wanted big romantic gestures, but then something happened.

My junior year in college there was this boy who was apparently a little infatuated with me. I will say in my defense that we were friends and I didn’t completely realize that he was trying to upgrade his status from just friend to boyfriend.

He told me one night that he had a surprise for me and drove me out to a local lake. As we walked up, I noticed he had made a little bonfire and he handed me a rose. Then, he took out his guitar and began to sing a love song that was actually a fairly popular song at the time but replaced the girl’s name in the song with my name.

I sat there holding this rose and listening to him sing and it was like I was having an out of body experience. I had never felt more awkward and truly I just wanted to throw one of us into the fire to make the singing stop. Please. make. the. singing. stop.

Sometimes, late at night, I can still hear the singing.

Because how do you respond to someone singing a song that you really used to like until you heard it sung with your name in it?

I don’t know. I don’t know now and I didn’t know then.

I’d like to blame my reaction on my 20 year old immaturity, but deep down I know that if you put me in that situation tomorrow I would have the same reaction which is why I am married to someone whose idea of romance is to save me the last chocolate chip cookie. And that, is what true love is all about.