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Tap, tap, tap.

Is this thing on?

It feels like a million years since I wrote anything besides a quick list of things I need from the grocery store. I almost feel like I’ve forgotten how to string words together that turn into sentences and, lo, even paragraphs.

In all honesty it’s been kind of nice.

I didn’t mention this last week just in case there was a band of marauders scouring the internet for potential robbery opportunities, but we took a little family vacation for the Fourth of July holiday. Specifically, we went to Nashville to see various friends. I am not kidding when I tell you it was the first time P has left the state of Texas since 2009. He just doesn’t see the point when there is both hunting and fishing within minutes of our house.

But he decided to make an exception because Caroline and I went to Nashville last summer for a little business trip and he had heard all year long about how much we loved both the city and the people there.

So on Wednesday afternoon we caught a flight and two hours later we landed and about thirty minutes after that we were in our swimsuits by the pool with our friends Angie and Todd and their girls. The next few days were a whirlwind of activity filled with lots of pool time, talking late into the night, and various July Fourth activities.

There was swimming in a creek.

There was an incredible neighborhood parade where the theme was Night At The Movies. You can tell you’re in a town full of creative artists when a parade includes a glass elevator from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Jaws and Elliot flying over the moon with E.T..

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention there was also this.

In case you can’t tell, that there is an RV, Clark. But don’t you go fallen’ in love with it ’cause we’re takin’ it with us when we leave next month.

After the parade we headed straight to the pool where I’m sad to say that Caroline didn’t fulfill her goal of becoming a bi-state (or maybe bi-pool) belly flop champion, but all was not lost because Todd and P were on the winning Men’s wet t-shirt relay team. You’ve never seen such athletic prowess in your life. And by athletic prowess I mean they mastered the art of getting a wet t-shirt off one man and on to the next.

I also got to see my first greased watermelon competition where two teams compete to see who can get a greased watermelon out of the deep end and on to the other side of the pool first. I’ve never been more certain I was about to witness a holiday tragedy. If ever there was a time for the phrase, “I don’t feel like this will end well” it was at that moment.

Later that night, after a little break in all the fun, we went back down to watch a theatrical production performed by the neighborhood kids about the history of the United States. I am not kidding when I tell you it started with Marco Polo and an hour in we weren’t even to Herbert Hoover. I’ve never felt more like I was living out a scene from Waiting For Guffman. Then it was time for the fireworks and they were amazing.

Here’s a picture that doesn’t even begin to do it justice.

The best part was watching and listening to Caroline who was sitting right beside me and giving new meaning to the word “joy”.

She couldn’t contain herself and laughed and yelled, “THAT’S AWESOME!” and basically just put a voice to what we all were thinking. It was an incredible show. Pyrotechnics the way God and the Founding Fathers intended.

We drove back to the house, tired and a little sunburned, but satisfied that we’d partied like it was 1776.

The next morning we slept in and then made our way to downtown Franklin for a quick stop for ice cream before we headed to the airport.

Then we took a quick group selfie before we all hugged and shed a few tears that the trip had ended way too soon.

And P, Caroline and I got on the airplane and talked about all our favorite parts of the trip but I think there were too many to count. It was four days full of staying up late, talking nonstop, laughing so much and just enjoying being with friends we don’t get to see nearly often enough. It was the perfect way to spend the holiday.

I also need to share what I feel was a personal breakthrough for me. After the first night I told Angie that I couldn’t believe P and I had slept so well in a queen-size bed given my various and sundry sleep issues. Which is when she informed me it was actually just a full-size bed. And so the way I see it, I pretty much camped out for three nights and lived to tell about it. There is no doubt that I have grown as a person.

Of course maybe it was just that I didn’t have to worry about these two yahoos who spent their Fourth of July at the kennel and were beyond thrilled to see their people when we returned.

Okay. So maybe I missed them, too.

Well I didn’t really plan to take this whole week off, but now I’ve decided that makes the most sense so I can fully enjoy the holiday and eat hotdogs and watch fireworks and all manner of other things.

But I guess since I’m writing something right now, I haven’t technically taken the week off so much as just four days or so. Whatever. I just like to check in.

Here are a couple of quick things that might make your week better:

1. Food to eat

P and I went out for dinner a few nights ago at Tre Trattoria which is a little Italian restaurant we enjoy. And the market salad of the day was this delicious concoction of heirloom tomatoes, peaches, arugula and burrata cheese. I ate every bite and couldn’t quit thinking about it.

I consulted Pinterest and found a similar recipe and it was equally delicious. Except I substituted mozzarella for the burrata because it’s what I found at the store. This would be a great side dish at any of your Fourth of July gatherings.

Here’s the recipe: tomato, peach and burrata salad

On a slightly less healthy note, my friend Jill mentioned a while back that the chocolate cake recipe on the back of the Hershey’s cocoa is one of the best chocolate cakes ever. I made it a few weeks ago and she was totally right. The only thing I might add are some chocolate chips because I enjoy a little texture in my chocolate cake.

Here’s the recipe: hershey’s perfectly chocolate chocolate cake

2. Books to read

A few weeks ago I asked for book recommendations and then I went to Target that same day and bought a couple of books on impulse because I felt like I couldn’t wait one more second to read something. Here’s what I’ve read in the last two weeks:

Mrs. Poe by Lynn Cullen – This was totally different from anything I’d normally read and I can’t say I loved it. It was okay and an interesting look at the literary community in New York in the 1800’s, but I wasn’t dying to read it every chance I got which is how I judge a great book.

Looking for Alaska by John Green – I love John Green’s writing and how he perfectly captures teenagers. This is good if you’re a fan of young adult literature.

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty – I just started this and am only three or four chapters in but it’s already my favorite of the summer so far and I picked it because so many of you suggested it. Great choice.

3. Things to watch

I’ve totally gotten sucked into the World Cup. It’s filling a void for me since there is no college football to be had right now. Team USA plays Belgium later today and this might get you pumped up.

And win or lose, Nordstrom has some really great international soccer gear for kids available right now for your favorite little soccer fan.

Hope you all have a great 4th of July! See you next week!

This is a hard time of year to find cute things online. Or maybe it’s just because it’s so hot. I realized the other day that I just don’t wear that much in the summer, as evidenced by my laundry that basically consisted of pajama pants and swimsuit coverups.

But I did my best and there are some good sales to be found.

1. split-tone tunic

I think this color combo is really pretty, even though this does come in some other color options. This is one of many things on sale at Anthropologie right now and is only $39.95.

2. swingstripe tee

I actually featured this when it was full price but it’s now on sale for just $39.95 and comes in several different colors. Personally, I like the yellow and gray version.

3. sol stripe pullover

I nearly featured this last week and then didn’t, but it still caught my eye this week. I really love the colors and think it would look really cute with white shorts or jeans.

4. flying tomato santorini maxi skirt

I adore this. Adore. It would look great now with a simple black tee or tank and, later, you could throw on a jean jacket with it.

5. bold beaded strands

I love this necklace and you won’t even believe all the gorgeous colors it comes in. Fuchsia, gray, black, hot pink, etc. It’s a great accessory to add a little pizazz to any outfit.

6. max & mia crinkled maxi skirt

I have this skirt in the bright coral and love it, but they just recently added this gray and I really like it too. It’s as neutral as the black, but a little softer.

7. gap thin flip-flops

These are my favorite summer sandals. I’m about to wear out my second pair of gold ones and am thrilled they are on sale for $17.46. I may need to buy enough pairs to last me for the next eighteen summers.

8. loft roll-sleeve romper

This caught my eye this week and I ran to my local Loft store to try it on, only to discover it had sold out. Which makes sense because it has great reviews online. And now I’m only more determined to make it mine. I think it would be super versatile and easy to dress up or down.

Bonus! This is now 50% off at checkout along with tons of other stuff when you use the code FIFTY.

9. ipanema embroidered top in navy

I’ve been seeing tops like this everywhere and love them every time. Love the navy with the yellow.

10. free people el mirage top

I can’t remember if I’ve featured this before but I’ve had my eye on it for a while. I really love it and now it’s on sale.

That’s it for today.

Have a great Friday.

Well I’m sad to report that I was supposed to be on a date with P tonight but am instead sitting here on my couch because Caroline has come down with a touch of the stomach bug. Or she ate something that didn’t agree with her. We’re still not sure which one, but I’m sure we’ll know in the next 24 hours if anyone else falls victim.

We were supposed to drop her off at Bops and Mimi’s late this afternoon. However, it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen and, frankly, I blame Dish Network.

How is this possibly Dish Network’s fault, you may ask? Because they were the beginning of my week not going quite as planned. Because of them, I missed 24 on Monday night and I believe that one thing caused my whole week to fall apart. I realize this seems like a heavy burden to place on them, but I don’t care.

On Monday morning I immediately logged into the Chat feature on Dish Network to report our Dish receiver outage. I have found that I prefer typing my issues furiously into the computer as opposed to spending hours on the phone where you also have to make awkward small talk about the weather. This probably also explains why I have a blog.

Anyway, I explained that our receiver wasn’t working and continuously told us it needed to do a hard drive reset and had lost all our recordings including True Tori. Of course the person I was chatting with is most likely based in India and isn’t aware of the intricacies of Tori and Dean’s marriage so she wasn’t really as sympathetic as I would have liked. But she did apologize that I had to spend my valuable time taking care of my television problems in a sentence that had to be directly taken from a Dish Network employee handbook entitled “You put the ‘U’ in Customer Service”.

So I told her we had repeatedly reset and unplugged and turned off our receiver while sitting on the couch and standing on our hand and clicking our heels three times and reciting “There’s no place like home”. And she immediately replied with “You need to reset your receiver. Unplug it, wait for ten seconds, plug it back in and turn it on again”.

I never would have thought of that.

But I did it for the eighty-fourth time and, in what was a shock to absolutely no one, it failed to fix the problem. She said they could send me a new receiver in five business days.

Five business days.

Sure. Like I have enough hobbies to be without a T.V. for five days.

I typed back that this was unacceptable and asked if I could go pick one up or have it delivered that day because JACK BAUER. And, miraculously, they were able to suddenly overnight one. Even better, they were only going to charge me $20 instead of $35. Which led to me to ask why I was being charged anything considering that I was already going to miss Jack Bauer and it wasn’t my fault that their equipment had circled the drain. And, miraculously, they were suddenly able to waive all charges. It’s amazing how that works, but why do you have to be a squeaky wheel to make it happen?

The new receiver arrived on Tuesday afternoon and I was able to read the instructions and get it set up and working so that P and Caroline could watch T.V. that evening while I went to see The Fault in Our Stars with Gulley.

I had read the book over a year ago and so I felt like I was emotionally prepared. But based on my sobbing, it’s safe to say I was not. Gulley and I had what we refer to as a “My Girl” or “Hope Floats” situation based on the extreme crying we both experienced in those movies. It’s a rarely experienced level of emotional anguish over what is supposed to be entertainment yet causes a level ten Kleenex situation. All that to say, I really loved the movie. I couldn’t imagine how they were going to capture the feeling of the book and especially Augustus Waters, but they did a fantastic job. Just know that it may be best not to see it if you’ve already missed Jack Bauer on Monday and in an emotionally fragile state.

On Wednesday morning we woke up to thunderstorms which was absolutely delightful and ended up spending the day doing not much of anything. I ran a few errands, specifically to the pet store to get the puppies more things to chew on that aren’t the plants in our backyard and the frame of our back door.

And now we’re missing date night and watching T.V. on our new receiver that seems to be working beautifully. Except that it is lacking Jack Bauer.

Here’s what you need to know. Our Dish Network receiver/DVR has quit working. And to add insult to injury, it deleted every single thing we had recorded, including the last episode of True Tori.

Why am I watching that? I don’t even know.

But to make matters worse, we are missing 24 as I type this. I can only hope Jack Bauer can survive whatever shenanigans are in store for him this hour without P and I cheering him on while we eat ice cream on the couch.

I also spent a portion of my life I’ll never get back communicating with the Dish Network help desk today but that’s a story for later. The short version is they are overnighting a new receiver to our house and feel confident I’ll be able to install it without the aid of a repairman. That makes one of us.

Anyway, here’s a few quick things for now:

1. flour less monster cookies

There’s a bakery by my house that makes these and they are delicious. And this recipe from Edie tastes just like them. They also happen to be gluten-free. Which doesn’t really matter to me because I happen to like all the gluten. In fact, P and I were talking with some friends about opening our own bakery and naming it “Glutes” with the slogan: “All gluten, all the time”.

The point is these cookies are delicious for those of us both for and against gluten. I may be eating them for breakfast, snacks and dessert these days.

2. the beginning of wisdom: on daughters and dating

A friend of mine linked to this post on Facebook and I just thought it articulated so many things I feel about Caroline eventually dating and growing up, but haven’t been able to put in my own words. It’s a great read if you’re raising a daughter.

3. DotMom Conference and Simulcast

The DotMom Conference is one of my favorite things I do every year. It’s September 19-20 in Nashville, TN this year if you’re interested in attending in person.

Even better, this year they are simulcasting it if you happen to be part of a church or a small group that might be interested in that.

4. “My Shetland pony poops too much”

This is a search term someone used that led them to my blog today. I really have no explanation as to why their Shetland pony poops too much, but it made me happy to see it. I can only imagine the trials that come with an overpooping Shetland Pony.

See y’all tomorrow.

I’ve spent the last few hours getting over my disappointment about the last second goal that Portugal scored in the World Cup against the USA team. What the heck? I didn’t even know I cared about the World Cup until a week ago when I began to channel some of the sports angst I normally reserve for college football into soccer.

And even though I’ve watched Caroline play hundreds of soccer games over the last six years, I still don’t understand so many things. Especially how long a game lasts. I think it’s supposed to be 90 minutes, but then all of a sudden they add five more minutes. Or just two more minutes. Or maybe ten minutes. It’s very confusing. I like my sports in concise halves or quarters. I need to know when it’s going to be over.

Also I couldn’t get over that they were playing in the Amazon heat and humidity. Some of you may remember that I went to the Amazon a few years ago and it’s the hottest I’ve ever been in my life. I nearly passed out wheeling my suitcase up a ramp to the hotel so I can only imagine playing 90 or 95 or 97 1/2 minutes of soccer in that heat. I almost had to put an ice cold cloth on my forehead while I watched because I felt so codependent about the conditions.

In non-soccer news, Caroline and I just got back from a fun little trip with Gulley and the boys. It was technically a work trip because I spoke at an event, but the event happened to be the Texas Aggregate Concrete Association and Gulley’s stepdad, Big, was Chairman of the Board. It also happened to be at the Four Seasons Resort in Las Colinas. And so Gulley and her boys went to support Big and I went to speak and brought Caroline along because it made sense to turn it into a mini-vacation.

(I need to clarify that I did not speak on the subject of concrete and/or aggregates. My knowledge of such is woefully inadequate, as evidenced by the fact that P constantly corrects me when I call it “cement”. Or maybe he corrects me when I call it “concrete”. I can’t remember. But I bet he’ll tell me as soon as he reads this.)

I actually spoke at a breakfast for the spouses’ that was hosted by Gulley’s mom, Honey, and talked about marriage. Not that I am an expert on the subject. It’s just more of a “we’re all in this together and does your husband also leave half a paper towel on the kitchen counter to save for later?” kind of talk.

When we checked into the hotel, Caroline was thrilled with our room. She ran from the bathroom to the bedroom and immediately put on the complimentary robe and helped herself to a pear from the fruit basket as she exclaimed, “They even have a hairdryer in the bathroom!” Which kind of makes me feel like we need to get her out of the house more often, although it was an exceptionally nicer hairdryer than most hotels.

We spent the rest of the day hanging out by the pool with the kids where they all enjoyed the time-honored tradition of taking the Nestea plunge even though they have no idea about Nestea. They also have no idea how thrilling it was to watch the Kool-Aid man come crashing through a brick wall. Which leads me to the conclusion that powdered drink commercials aren’t nearly as exciting as they once were.

Then later on Caroline fully embraced her resort experience by ordering a pina colada poolside.

In fact, we decided all the kids took to a resort like ducks to water. Will even declared that he was just waiting for someone to come take his lunch tray as he lounged in his pool chair which makes me think his reentry into the real world is going to be harsh because last I checked Gulley doesn’t walk around picking up lunch trays or putting paper umbrellas in drinks.

And then that night there was a banquet where Big got up and made a speech as outgoing Chairman of the Board and I thought it would be a great time to get a picture of the kids while they were all dressed up.

Yes.

So much for that idea.

Will ended up going home with Honey and Big and so it was just Gulley, Jackson, Caroline and me on the way home. Jackson and Caroline listened to music in the backseat while Gulley and I explored deep topics like how it’s bizarre to think about how women willingly walk around in swimsuits from June through August even though it’s basically just glorified underwear. There’s no way most of us would walk around in front of people in our underwear in November, but in August? Totally acceptable.

And at some point our play list of songs arrived at Rappers’ Delight by The Sugarhill Gang because we believe it’s important to educate our children on the classics. We also believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way. As we were singing along, I suddenly remembered something and asked Gulley, “Where were we when someone recognized Wonder Mike?”

She looked at me blankly and replied, “I don’t know. I don’t remember that.”

I said, “Yes. Don’t you remember? We were somewhere and he showed up! Where was that?”

I racked my brain for the next five minutes trying to remember where I saw Wonder Mike when I suddenly remembered that it was on American Idol. Wonder Mike’s daughter auditioned and he was there and they called him into the room because the judges wanted to meet him.

Needless to say, I was not there.

I watched it on T.V. and somehow made it my own personal memory of meeting Wonder Mike. I’m not sure exactly what you call this phenomenon, but I believe “sad” is one word for it.

Meanwhile, while we were gone, P was holding down the fort with these two. Also, they now sleep inside.

It only took them three weeks but they’ve officially trained us.