I’m cooking - Big Mama

Popeye would have been a big fan

March 8, 2012

I still haven’t bought a Ninja blender.

I just wanted y’all to know.

But I am planning to buy one. At some point in the future. Maybe around the same time I get slipcovers made for the couch and paint my walls gray.

Even with my blender technical difficulties though, I have managed to persevere and make smoothies almost every single morning. And since several of you asked what I put in my smoothies, I thought I’d give you my (very rough, very inexact) recipe.

Here it is:

1/2 cup greek yogurt (I know I said I can’t stand it, but it works in a smoothie and it has a lot of protein)

1/2 cup orange juice

a good handful of baby spinach leaves (I realize this isn’t precise, but I just grab a bunch and throw them in)

1 tablespoon of ground flax seed (This is supposed to really good for you)

1 cup of a mix of frozen berries, bananas, peaches

Blend it all together. Drink it.

I realize the addition of spinach may throw you off. I was sketchy on the spinach at first because I couldn’t believe it wouldn’t make the whole thing taste like, well, spinach. But the berries totally cover up the spinach taste.

And so I get all the benefits of eating spinach but without having to actually chew spinach in salad form. Not to mention the fruit and the flax seed.

The key to disguising the spinach (if you need to forget about it or don’t want your kids to know) is to use blackberries, raspberries, or blueberries as your main fruit. They are dark enough that they hide the green color of the spinach.

Even though sometimes I don’t put enough in and then the whole thing is kind of a brown color. But it still tastes delicious.

The only thing that would make it better would be if I had a blender that actually turned on and off.

But, like Scarlett O’Hara, I’ll think about that tomorrow.

Jambalaya and crawfish pie and file’ gumbo

February 10, 2011

About a week ago, my friend Meredith posted a message on my Facebook wall and said she’d made my recipe for jambalaya that day as part of a trial run for a Mardi Gras party she was hosting later that week. And I realized I’d forgotten all about jambalaya.

But I had a good reason.

About eleven years ago, jambalaya was one of my cold weather staples. A little spicy Cajun comfort food to help us get through the cold South Texas winters where the temps have been known to dip into the low 30′s for minutes at a time. One night my sister, Amy, was in town for a visit (This was eleven years ago and she still lived in Dallas. This detail isn’t pertinent to the story but you’re getting it anyway.) and I decided I’d make jambalaya for dinner.

Which was all good and fine until it almost killed P.

We were all sitting around the table, enjoying our dinner and visiting, when it became clear that P was choking. Mainly because he was giving us the international sign for choking. Apparently, a round slice of sausage had gotten caught in his throat. It was approximately thirty seconds later that my sister and I made the unfortunate discovery that neither one of us possessed an adequate working knowledge of the Heimlich maneuver.

Actually, I realized I lacked sufficient Heimlich maneuver skills while my sister, who probably knew how to do the Heimlich since she was a teacher and had been trained in CPR, fled the scene because she was afraid P was about to throw up and she didn’t want to see it.

No one ever accused either of us of keeping a calm head in a crisis situation.

After P realized he wasn’t going to be able to save himself on the back of a kitchen chair, I dialed 911. And an ambulance came. And paramedics rushed in the house. And we all had to go to the hospital so they could administer some type of medicine to relax his throat muscles.

I also remember asking if I could have a sedative for myself.

If I recall, P gave me a dirty look. But he had no idea the stress I was under. It’s not every day that you prepare a meal that almost kills your husband and then simultaneously discover you lack the skills to save him. Talk about WIFE FAIL.

Obviously, P recovered from the experience. We discovered shortly thereafter that he had some acid reflux issues that had caused scarring on his esophagus which led him to choke easily. So we got that little problem taken care of because calling 911 during family dinner is kind of a downer. Not to mention, expensive.

So, even though the Jambalaya wasn’t necessarily to blame, I crossed it off my list of meals since I figured it probably fell into a NEVER AGAIN category for P. I didn’t want him to have flashbacks to his near demise.

(The food that is on my NEVER AGAIN list is Kung Pao Chicken. But for different reasons involving a seventeen hour bus ride and an upset stomach.)

But, last night after eleven long years, I pulled Jambalaya out of the archives. Although I made sure to cut the sausage into very small pieces.

We ate it and it was delicious and we didn’t have to call 911.

And given that I’ve just told you a dramatic life and death tale with too many details about my husband’s esophagus problems, don’t you want to know how to make it yourself?

Jambalaya

1/4 cup butter
1 pound smoked sausage (hot or mild, chopped into very small pieces unless you have learned NOTHING from my story)
1/4 cup flour
2 medium onions, chopped
6 green onions, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 ripe tomatoes, peeled and chopped (I used two 14.5 oz cans of petite diced tomatoes because that’s how I roll)
1 bay leaf
1/2 tbs. dried thyme
1/4-1/2 tsp. cayenne
black pepper to taste
1 1/2 cups cooked, diced chicken (I bought cooked chicken because, raw chicken, I HAVE ISSUES)
3 cups chicken broth
2 pounds raw shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 cups uncooked long-grain rice
salt to taste

In a large stockpot, melt butter and saute’ sausage until lightly browned. Add in flour. Then add onions, green onions, bell pepper, and garlic. Saute’ until vegetables are soft.

Stir in tomatoes, bay leaf, thyme, cayenne, black pepper, chicken, chicken broth, shrimp and rice. The liquid in the pot should just cover everything.

Let it boil. Lower heat, cover and simmer until most of the liquid is absorbed and the rice is cooked. Add salt and Tabasco sauce to taste.

Serve with warm French bread and sufficient knowledge of the Heimlich maneuver.

Poultry is my kryptonite

April 21, 2010

I made an extensive grocery store list on Monday morning because I’d spent most of last week just trying to piecemeal some pantry items together and call it dinner. But the jig was finally up on Monday morning because P was out of Coffeemate and, while we can live on leftover Easter ham for a scandalous amount of time, we aren’t complete barbarians who drink our coffee black.

Of course I drink choffee (half hot chocolate, half coffee…patent pending) in the morning so it really makes no difference to me if we run out of Coffeemate, but it’s P’s lifeblood. As evidenced by the fact that he goes through a large bottle of it every other week.

As I made a list comprised of every household item or foodstuff imaginable, I decided to take a more organized approach and actually plan out some meals for the week as opposed to my usual method of getting home from the store, unpacking all my groceries and realizing that I have cupboards full of delicious snack items but dinner comprised of Cheetos and powdered Donettes does not a meal make. (Contrary to what I believed in college.)

One of my goals was to make the No Knead Bread that Sophie mentioned last week because, ever since I made Ree’s cinnamon rolls last fall, I’ve experienced some freedom from my fear of the yeast. But once I read through the bread recipe, I realized that I don’t own a proper Dutch oven. I didn’t feel like my current version of a Dutch oven with synthetic handles could handle the heat required to bake the bread, so I’ve had to shelf my dream until I can purchase some better cookware.

Honestly, I feel like the only thing standing between me and a career as a wildly successful food blogger is my lack of proper cookware. Well, that and the fact that everyone already knows how to make tacos from Old El Paso’s Taco Kit.

I’m just so glad that when P and I got married we received some lovely china that takes up vast amounts of cabinet space and has been used exactly two times, but yet I don’t own one pan that allows me to make homemade bread for my family. I’m sure I received a very nice Dutch oven and returned it so I could have store credit to go towards that expensive navy plaid Ralph Lauren comforter that now serves as the dogs’ bed in the winter time. People shouldn’t be allowed to register for nice things when they’re twenty-six years old and believe that marital bliss is ensured by the number of monogrammed silver frames they receive.

As God is my witness, I will get myself a Dutch oven and I will bake my bread.

In the meantime, I had to come up with some other dinner options. I’m fairly certain P had an allergic reaction to HEB’s rotisserie chicken (I can’t even go down that road right now.) so I decided to overcome my fear of dealing with raw poultry and bought a couple of packages of boneless, skinless chicken breasts to bake and use in various recipes throughout the week.

I unwrapped the chicken, placed it on a baking sheet, seasoned it and baked it at 350 degrees until it was thoroughly cooked. And then I took a Silkwood shower.

But it has been totally worth it because I made a big batch of homemade chicken salad for us to all eat for lunch this week and I cooked chicken cakes for dinner last night. However, we have no homemade bread to go with everything because I believe I may have mentioned my lack of a Dutch oven.

A few weeks ago, I talked about Gulley’s chicken salad and several of you asked for the recipe. Or maybe I just made that up in my head. It’s possible. But I’ll share it anyway because it is delicious and not too mayonnaise-y and that’s my primary criteria for any type of luncheon salad.

Gulley’s Chicken Salad (adapted from Southern Living)

4 cups chopped cooked chicken
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup shredded parmesan
3 green onions, chopped
3 celery ribs, chopped
3 tablespoons toasted pecans, chopped
salt and pepper to taste

It’s up to you how fine you chop the ingredients and you are certainly welcome to add more mayonnaise if you feel the need. Stir everything together and chill. (The chicken salad. Although you are certainly welcome to kick back and relax.)

Best of all, it doesn’t require a Dutch oven. But if you’re feeling fancy you can serve it on that china that you never use.

Soup is better than geometry

December 3, 2009

Last night we went and picked out our Christmas tree. I don’t mean to exaggerate but it may be the best tree in the history of all our Christmas trees. To be honest, I’m a little intimidated to decorate it because I feel that my decorating abilities may be less than a tree of this magnitude deserves. I’d show you a picture of it in all its undecorated glory, but that would involve getting up off this warm couch to find my camera.

Every year at the tree lot, P and I engage in a lively discussion over what size tree we should buy. This is largely due to the fact that twelve years ago when we bought our first tree for this house, it was so big that we couldn’t get it through our front door. In my defense, I was just very enthusiastic about our nine foot ceilings and how they meant we could buy a tall tree. What I failed to factor in was a little thing called circumference. Geometry was never really my strongest subject.

I’m not even sure that circumference has anything to do with Geometry. Maybe I could write a seven step proof to figure it out. Oh wait, I forgot that there is NEVER another reason EVER in the history of your life to write a seven step proof once you barely pass Geometry.

Anyway, I need to go make sure all my lights still work because I plan to spend the better part of the day wrapping this baby with a thousand points of light. I just hope I can make it proud.

And I totally meant what I said yesterday about my intention to discuss a soup recipe. It’s been cold and rainy here all week (rumor has it we may have snow flurries on Friday which SURE WE WILL) so I’ve made all manner of soups and gumbos to help us through the long winter.

This one has been my favorite of the week. Super easy and like a warm hug on a winter’s day.

(If warm hugs were made of cheese tortellini.)

Italian Sausage Tortellini Soup

1 pound Italian sausage, casings removed (mild or spicy depending on your preference)
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
5 cups beef stock
1/3 cup water
1/2 cup red wine
28 oz. can peeled tomatoes, chopped
4 carrots, chopped
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
8 oz. can tomato sauce
3 zucchini, chopped
8 ounces cheese tortellini
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 tbs. chopped fresh parsley
Grated parmesan cheese for topping

Brown the sausage in a large pot. Drain all the grease except for 1 tablespoon, then add the onions and garlic and saute for 5 more minutes.

Add the beef stock, water, wine, tomatoes, carrots, basil, oregano and tomato sauce. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer for 30 minutes.

Add the zucchini, tortellini, green bell pepper and parsley. Simmer until tortellini is cooked (about 8-10 minutes). Serve in bowls topped with grated parmesan cheese.

It’s so good and you can make it even if you know nothing about concave polygons.

Makes your eyes light up and your tummy say howdy

November 23, 2009

On Friday, the first grade at Caroline’s school had their very own Thanksgiving Feast. This is not to be confused with the feast they had in the cafeteria earlier in the week that involved very tough turkey and nary any sort of cutting utensil to be found.

The feast on Friday was just for the first graders and each class was asked to contribute various things. I’m the homeroom mom (I know. I can’t even believe it myself. Rumor has it I actually have to come up with some crafts for them to do at the Christmas party.) so I sent out an email to the parents in the class with a list of items we’d need for the feast.

Fortunately, we have really great parents and they quickly volunteered for everything we needed with the exception of pies. My co-homeroom mom and I agreed that we’d just take care of the pies so, when I picked up Caroline from school earlier in the week, I asked her what kind of pies she’d like me to make for the Thanksgiving Feast and she informed me that she’d like a cherry pie and a shoofly pie.

I’d only heard of a shoofly pie thanks to the musical stylings of the late Dinah Shore, but when I told Caroline I wasn’t sure how to make a shoofly pie she told me to “go look it up on the google”. I informed her that when I was her age the only way I could have found out how to make a shoofly pie would have involved something called an “Encyclopedia” because we didn’t have computers or “the google”. She said, “Yeah, but they didn’t even have electricity when you were little”.

I think she has the 1970′s confused with an episode of Little House on the Prairie.

Ultimately, I did indeed find a recipe for shoofly pie using Google, but decided that I didn’t have the time nor the inclination to make two homemade pies for a first grade Thanksgiving feast that was going to consist of some turkey roll-ups, chex party mix, and carrots with ranch dressing. So I went to Central Market and bought a chocolate cream pie from the bakery and this.

The night before the feast, I pulled it out of the freezer and began to open the box. Caroline walked in, noticed what I was doing and exclaimed, “Oh! So that’s how you make a homemade cherry pie!”

And I replied, “Yes. Yes it is.”

I just thought y’all might want my recipe.

Disclaimer: Dinah Shore never sang a song about Mrs. Callender’s frozen pies. But I think she totally would have if she’d ever tried one.

Popeye would have been a big fan

Jambalaya and crawfish pie and file’ gumbo

Poultry is my kryptonite

Soup is better than geometry

Makes your eyes light up and your tummy say howdy

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