Author: Big Mama

That time I almost had a nervous breakdown

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Timestamp: 2014-02-22 15:35:38 UTC

The winners were Whitney and Cindy. I have notified them by email!

***Edited to add: Some of you emailed and mentioned Antelope was out of stock on Amazon. It’s back in stock now. You can find it here. It’s also available at Barnes and Noble here. And you can always walk into your neighborhood LifeWay store or Barnes and Noble or what have you and find it there. Thank you!****

***Also edited to add: I’ll be back with a new post tomorrow, but I needed a day to get caught up on life***

I don’t want to be overly dramatic today.

(Because there’s a first time for everything.)

But there were a few moments last week when I was as close to being as broke down as Bob Costas’s eye.

I knew going into it that it was going to be a crazy week, mainly because I’m a terrible calendar manager and planned a whole lot of things in a short period of time. But I seriously overestimated my ability to deal with factors beyond my control. The truth is I like to believe I do not have control freak tendencies, but the reality is that I am absolutely not a control freak until things happen that I cannot control. And then I freak out.

So things got off to a rough start when Caroline started running fever on Sunday night and stayed home from school on Monday. I had a speaking engagement on Monday morning and I rushed off to that while P kept Caroline and then I came home and spent the next few hours with her at the doctor’s office.

Then Tuesday morning, Caroline felt well enough to go to school and I packed my bags and flew to Virginia Beach. All was good and fine until I realized I’d managed to make it to the East Coast just in time for a monstrous snow storm to hit. And so I spent the next two days completely stressing out about getting home and doing my best in-depth analysis of the U.S. weather maps as if that could make a difference.

But thanks to a lot of answered prayers, I managed to get home without a hitch by late Thursday afternoon. Which was perfect because I made it in time for Caroline’s basketball game that night and yet one more speaking thing I had scheduled for Friday morning and Caroline’s class Valentine’s party that was later that afternoon.

So you can imagine how it threw my day off when I received a call from the school nurse, right as I was walking out the door on Friday morning, informing me that Caroline was in her office with 103 degree fever.

Well. Great.

And can we also schedule some time for my impending nervous breakdown?

I rushed to pick her up from school as I called P to tell him I needed him to meet me at the house. And then I dropped Caroline off at home with him, drove to my speaking thing while making her an appointment with the pediatrician, and then attempted to give a talk on things I’ve learned about motherhood because IRONY.

You know what I’ve learned about motherhood? You can consider any day a victory if it doesn’t involve catching someone’s throw up in your hands.

I met Caroline and P at the pediatrician’s office where she tested negative for both strep and the flu and it was determined to just be a virus that needed to run its course. And so I paid our co-pay and got home right in time to do the live radio interview I was scheduled to do at noon. I have no idea if I even managed to form sentences by that point. So if you’re in the Detroit area and heard a woman who sounded like she was mumbling in the fetal position on the radio, I apologize.

Our original plan was to drive to Houston right after school on Friday, but we left around 2:00 instead. Caroline insisted she still wanted to go and I had a book signing scheduled for Saturday morning. So I loaded her up in the car and she fell into a feverish sleep that lasted most of the trip. Well, until we were about thirty minutes outside of Houston. At which point she woke up and asked if we could stop at a gas station and buy a bag of Funyuns.

This was one of those moments where I know for sure she’s my daughter. There is no sickness too strong for a junk food craving.

By Saturday morning she was a little bit better and even insisted on going with me to the book signing. Mimi and Bops came too and we were joined by family I hadn’t seen in a long time, old friends and some new friends that read the blog. I can’t even tell you how much it means that anyone takes time out of their day to come buy a book and say hi.

Finally, Saturday night we went to eat Italian food and I was able to take a deep breath because I survived it all and I’m sure the twitching in my right eye will go away at some point.

And I have to mention one more thing. While I was in the middle of all the craziness of last week, my publisher called me to let me know that The Antelope in the Living Room made the New York Times Bestseller list.

(It was #24 in the E-book category because apparently you all love your Kindles and Nooks.)

This is a really big deal at my house. As evidenced by the fact P asked what was for dinner last night and I reminded him I’d written a New York Times bestseller and he might have wondered out loud when my “New York Times Bestselling rear end was going to the grocery store”. And he might have not said “rear end”.

But seriously, I am so grateful. Thank you so much for buying this book and spreading the word and posting about it on all the social media. Making that list has not one thing to do with me and everything in the world to do with all of you who show up here to read what I write every day. I will never cease to be so appreciative.

And so as just a small thank you, I’m doing a little giveaway today. Two of you have the chance to win one of these scarves.

Along with a copy of the audio version of The Antelope in the Living Room.

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post. I’ll keep comments open until this Friday, February 21 at noon and then choose two winners at random using Random.org.

And don’t forget that it’s also not too late to enter the Six Words contest. You can read all about it here.

Have a lovely President’s Day.
Fashion Friday: Edition Happy Valentine’s Day

First and foremost, just a quick reminder that I’m going to be signing books in Katy, Texas at Books-A-Million at Katy Mills this Saturday, February 15 from 10:30 a.m. until noon. I’d love to see you there.

Also, I’m thrilled to report that I made it home yesterday with nary a hitch. In fact, it was one of the easiest trips I’ve ever had. Both my flights were on time and my arrival gate and departure gate out of Atlanta were only three gates apart.

Anyone who has ever spent time in the Atlanta airport can attest that this is truly miraculous.

And so I landed in San Antonio a little before 5:00 p.m and discovered that my blog was down. Apparently I’d missed the renewal notice for my domain name because I am very detail oriented. You cannot even imagine the panic I felt in the twenty minutes I became convinced that a band of rogue spammers were going to be able to purchase my blog url.

Fortunately, it all worked out and all is well and I will forevermore pay attention to these types of things.

Now for some articles of clothing and/or shoes that I scoured the internet for this week:

1. Frye Melissa Button Boots

This is a great deal for a fabulous pair of boots. They are on sale for 35% off and are $227.64. I can honestly say that they will last a lifetime and you will love them forever.

They also come in black if this cognac isn’t your thing.

2. graceful répertoire tunic

I think this is pretty and springy and would look cute with colored jeans.

3. gap leather flip flops

I realize that some of you have been in the midst of various snowstorms and not in the mood for flip-flops. However, these are my very favorite from Gap. They come in a rainbow of colors and always sell out quick once the weather warms up.

4. old navy jersey tamis

As much as I think calling something a “tami” is stupid, I do love these long tanks from Old Navy to wear under various things.

5. chambray popover

I’m always a fan of a denim shirt. So versatile. This one would look so cute with colored shorts or belted with a maxi skirt.

6. free people keep me v-neck tee

Listen. This is not a cheap t-shirt. But I have one and cannot even tell you how much I love it. It’s the softest thing ever and comes in so many great colors. And see how it comes down a little longer in the back?

It’s perfection.

7. nike pro hyper warm training top

These workout tops are 25% off and come in a ton of great colors.

8. crinkled maxi skirt

I’ve featured this maxi skirt at least three times now, but I think it is perfect. So many people struggle with the maxi skirt but this one is brilliant because it’s a loose fit and doesn’t require you to sell your soul and your liver to Spanx to wear it.

9. a memory shared thermal leggings

I have some print leggings that I love so much. And I thought you might be interested in a pair.

10. spring it on sweater

I love a good spring sweater that’s lightweight enough to wear when the days are warm but the evenings are still a little cool.

That’s it for today.

Hope you have a great Valentine’s Day.
Hopefully leaving on a jet plane

Before I say anything else that isn’t nearly as important, I have to say thank you for all your prayers for Hannah. I cannot even tell you how much it meant to read your comments and know that she is being covered in prayer. Her mom texted me to let me know she and Hannah read through the comments with tears streaming down their face.

And I’m praying for each and every one of you who left a comment with a prayer request. Make no mistake, there are some heavy burdens out there.

Which makes it seem silly for me to ask for your prayers that I manage to get home somehow on Thursday. I’d finally decided to pay the fee to change my flight to take me through Chicago, but then that flight was sold out and so now I’ll be landing in Atlanta around 2:30 p.m. and hoping that I can make it out to get home to San Antonio. But, if not, I’ll be spending a cozy night in a chair in the Atlanta airport using my big puffy coat as a pillow. I’m sure it will be every bit as restful and relaxing as it sounds.

But, in spite of potential travel woes, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in Virginia Beach. And I got to see something I’d never seen before when I watched it snow on the beach yesterday. If that’s not enough, there was someone out in the waves surfing in a wetsuit. What on earth? I wanted to applaud him or shout my encouragement but I was too cold to get up from where I sat in my hotel bed covered in a down comforter.

Anyway, here are just a few quick things for today:

1. I wrote an article on Valentine’s Day for BookPage. You can find it here.

It was so fun to do a podcast with Kat from Inspired to Action. You can listen to it here.

And I loved doing another podcast with Heather MacFadyen. Although I was worried the whole time about whether or not she’d be able to make it to pick up her kids in the midst of a Dallas snow storm. You can listen to that here.

Don’t forget about the contest to describe your marriage (or waiting for marriage) in six words. There are fabulous prizes to be had. You can read all the details here. And you should check Twitter, Instagram and Facebook for the entries because they are both hilarious and heartwarming.

2. I loved this I Am Second video by former Bachelor star, Sean Lowe. You can watch it here.

3. This was a great post about marriage that rang so true to me from Edie. Perfect reading right before Valentine’s Day.

And that’s it. Hope you have a great Thursday.

Maybe if I get stuck in the Atlanta airport overnight I can do a very special edition of Fashion Friday about the do’s and don’ts of airport fashion.
Prayers for Hannah

I’m in a hotel room in Virginia Beach right now.

I just finished washing eight hours of airport travel and delays out of my hair and am now getting ready to go to bed. I’m also trying to decide if I need to change my flight home on Thursday that’s supposed to take me through Atlanta en route to San Antonio.

You know why I chose to go through Atlanta? Because my other option was Chicago. And you would think the odds of getting caught up in an ice storm are much greater in Chicago than Atlanta. But it appears I made the wrong decision.

That’s what I get for thinking.

Anyway, today is going to be kind of a different post.

Almost three years ago, our dear friends, Hannah and Stewart, got married. I wrote all about it here. Their wedding still goes down as one of my very favorite weddings ever and I think a large part of it is because P and I love them both so much.

And that’s why we were so excited to learn about a year ago that they were expecting their first baby. Sadie Claire was born five months ago and she is absolutely precious.

But Hannah experienced some complications during childbirth that have caused some type of extensive nerve damage. She is in constant, excruciating pain and has been bedridden for the last five months as doctors have struggled to find answers to help her.

I ran by their house on Saturday and talked to her mom, Debi, and my heart just broke. I’ve always felt like Debi is a kindred spirit because we are both the mother of an only girl child and each tend to have a warped sense of humor. And I cannot even imagine how hard it is to watch your baby be in so much pain and feel like there’s nothing you can do about it.

But their faith is so strong. They know that God has a plan and a purpose. And they know that ultimately he is the only one that can heal Hannah and make her strong enough to raise her own sweet baby girl.

I spent the last few days feeling so heavy for them and texted Debi to ask if I could tell you Hannah’s story and ask for your prayers. And as it turns out, one of her friends has started a Facebook page specifically asking for prayers for Hannah’s healing over the next twenty-four hours.

So will you please pray? She is such a gorgeous, vibrant girl and she has a daughter who needs her mama to be healthy and strong. Will you pray for complete healing? For the doctors to have wisdom about treatment options? And just that God would be glorified in all of this? It’s one of those situations that is so hard to understand but I believe he works all things together for good.

I know we all have situations and things in our life that are overwhelming and even devastating. And so I’d also love it if you would leave any prayer requests you have in the comments today. I promise to pray over each and every one.
Marriage in six words

This day.

I can’t even tell you. It was just one of those days that got on my last nerve.

Here’s a highlight. I went to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription the doctor wrote for Caroline, waited in a long line and got to the cashier only to realize I’d left my wallet at home. The only reason I didn’t burst into tears on the spot was because I felt it might be awkward for the poor girl at the cash register.

So I waited until I was in the car.

And then I drove home and got my wallet and repeated the entire process except this time I paid for the prescription and didn’t have to awkwardly bite my lip to keep from crying.

Anyway, none of that really matters because the real story is that I have a fun contest to announce today. A couple of months ago I was talking with my publishing peeps at Tyndale because we wanted to come up with something different to do with The Antelope in the Living Room.

That’s when Katie (who’s really lovely and smart) came up with the brilliant thought that The Antelope in the Living Room is basically a six word description of my marriage.

And we decided it might be kind of entertaining to celebrate that February is the month of love (Or the month where people give each other heart-shaped boxes of chocolate) by asking you to share your own six word description of your marriage. Basically we’re looking for a six word catchphrase the captures the essence of your relationship with your spouse.

Here are a few examples because I am always a fan of over explaining:

Dirty socks on the bedroom floor
Sports-obsessed weekends on the couch
The kids, dogs, fun and exhaustion
Care and keeping of controlled chaos.

To enter you can share your six words on Twitter, or Instagram with a photo to illustrate, or on my Big Mama Facebook page here. Make sure you end your entries with #antelopeinthelivingroom to make sure we can find them and enter them in the drawing. And, even better, you can submit multiple entries because we realize your six words might change depending on the day and your mood.

The contest will run until Saturday, March 1 and then we’ll combine all the entries and choose a winner at random.

And what do they win, Bob?

Well, the winner will receive a gift basket full of some of my favorite things. A $50 gift card to Target and a $30 gift card to iTunes. Signed copies of both of my books. And, best of all, this scarf that I sent out with early copies of Antelope.

And these turquoise Kendra Scott earrings.

I hope y’all will have fun with this. Can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Or even what your husband may come up with.

As for P, I’m thinking his would be “My wife didn’t cook again tonight”.
It’s why I cry every time I hear “In Your Eyes”

I need to make a confession.

I’m just not that into the Winter Olympics.

I think it’s because I live in South Texas and, well, not a lot of snowboarding or moguls to be found around here. And I don’t even understand the luge. At what point in your life do you willingly get in a small tube and decide to hurl yourself down a large apparatus at the speed of light?

My answer to that question is NEVER.

Frankly, the last Winter Olympics I truly enjoyed was in 1994 because you had the whole Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding thing and it was more akin to a Lifetime movie than a sporting event. Not to mention that’s when Dan Jansen won the gold medal in speed skating and he took a victory lap around the rink with his baby girl while they played “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. And now I’m crying just thinking about it because it was just that good.

I loved the ’94 Winter Olympics so much that I even chose to watch them instead of going out with my friends to Hurricane Harry’s and there was no greater sacrifice at that time in my life than to miss a night out.

Maybe I’m just out of the loop this time. I don’t know the human interest stories and who I’m supposed to be cheering for and I tried to watch but Bob Costas has pink eye and I’m afraid I might catch it through the television and so that’s the end of that.

Plus, those sweaters Ralph Lauren designed for the U.S. team are a travesty. Somewhere people all over the world who own Christmas-themed sweaters featuring cats wearing Santa hats feel validated.

And who knows? Maybe at some point in the next week or so I’ll get sucked in because I’ll hear some story about a member of the curling team who thought he’d never use his broom again, but he persevered and, BOOM, I’ll be on my couch crying like a baby and lamenting that I could have had a curling career if only I’d learned how to properly use a broom. Or cared about curling. Or even knew that it existed prior to 2002.

But I’m also at a juncture in my life where I need to reserve my emotional energy because Caroline broke some news to me over the weekend that’s going to require all my strength. She wants to get her hair cut to shoulder length.

I mean we haven’t even finished growing out the bangs I begged her not to cut in August and now she’s wanting to get six inches cut off her hair. Which, FINE. It’s her hair. But I’m the one who ends up needing a Masters in Hair Psychology every morning before school as she laments its current state.

In other news, we had a nice weekend. I’m not totally sure that I’m caught up on my sleep. By which I mean that I am absolutely not caught up on my sleep. I blame most of this solely on the train conductor who decided to drive through town at 1 a.m. Saturday morning blowing his train horn as if his life depended on it.

On Saturday morning we went to Caroline’s basketball game. Her team won and after a crazy week it was so nice to just sit there and watch her play. Every time I watch her I think of Shakespeare’s quote “Though she be but little, she is fierce.”

And then she left with P that afternoon to go to the ranch. I spent some time running errands and cleaning the house and paying bills and all the things I’d completely neglected in the midst of book launch week last week and got a text from P that read, “She’s wiped out.”

Yep. Sound asleep in the backseat on the way to the ranch.

It’s so out of character for her to fall asleep in the middle of the day. Which was why I was even more disturbed later when P texted me this picture.

It’s Caroline sound asleep. On the ground. While she was hunting.

On the upside, her camo appears to be working beautifully. You can hardly see her.

Sure enough, she woke up Sunday morning with a low grade fever and just generally not feeling well. Which totally fits because I’m leaving town on Tuesday and this seems to be the way these things have happened this year. It does wonders for my guilt complex. But I just tell myself that if I ever win a speed skating contest I am totally going to carry her while I skate a victory lap around the ice rink and Peter Gabriel sings “In Your Eyes”.

So tomorrow morning she’s staying home from school and I’m running to do a quick talk for a MOPs group while she stays home with P and then we’ll probably be at the Med Clinic by noon because I have a good suspicion that it’s strep.

And then maybe we’ll spend the rest of the afternoon watching the luge competition.

But probably not unless Nancy Kerrigan is one of the competitors.
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A few quick Antelope in the Living Room notes:

Tomorrow I’m going to announce a fun contest for Antelope. You don’t want to miss it.

I’m going to be in Virginia Beach at Princess Anne Country Club this Wednesday, February 12. You can find out more here.

I’m going to be signing books from 10:30 – noon this Saturday, February 15 at Books-A-Million at Katy Mills in Katy, TX.

On Friday, February 28th, I’m speaking at Grace Bible Church in College Station, TX. You can find out more details here.