Author: Big Mama

Fashion Friday: Edition the week of the antelope

It has been a big week. And now I have big plans to sleep all weekend with the exception of 10 until 11 a.m. on Saturday morning when I will go watch Caroline play basketball.

I’ll also be drawing for the Frye boots around noon today and will email the winner. If for any reason the winner is unable to fulfill her duties as the owner of the Frye boots, they will go to the first runner up.

And now for some things I’ve found in the last two hours as I’ve frantically searched the internet.

1. embroidered lace shift dress

It seems like spring sometimes brings parties and weddings and other functions that require a fancy dress. I happen to think this one is really pretty and it comes in several different colors.

2. braided brynn tunic

I tried this on last night at Anthropologie and came so close to buying it. It’s on sale for $39.95 and also comes in gray. In case you’re wondering, I was going to buy the gray. And it’s long enough to wear with leggings.

Now I regret that I didn’t buy it. I just didn’t feel capable of making the decision.

3. love spark lace top

Wouldn’t this be pretty for a Valentine’s Day event?

4. free people daisy lace dress

I have this dress in the ivory color and adore it. This black color is on sale right now and they only have XS and S left, but I figured it was worth mentioning just in case.

5. stitched quills jacket

This jacket is gorgeous. And it’s on sale for $99.95 and was originally $268.

6. split neck tunic

I love simple tunics like this because you can add different accessories. It’s like a blank canvas.

And it also comes in plus sizes here.

7. lace trim trapeze tunic

I’ve always loved these tunics. This particular color happens to be on sale for $58.96.

8. kendra scott danielle earrings

This week in the video I did with Edie, I mentioned Kendra Scott earrings. Here they are. Love them so much.

9. merrakesh blouse

Apparently I’m into hot pink right now. Love this top.

10. john wind gold initial bracelet

And I think I’ve featured this before but it’s still one of my favorite things. Plus it’s late and I was struggling to find a tenth thing.

That’s it for today.

Hope y’all have a great Friday.
Remember the antelope

Well.

The last two days have been a whirlwind. But it has all been so fun and I’ve loved reading all the comments and emails and seeing pictures of the book in your sweet little hands. You have made it so great and I cannot even tell you how much I appreciate it.

I had a book signing on Tuesday night here in town and it was the best time. I’ll write more about it next week, but I’ll never get over how much I love my friends and family. And then afterwards I went out with several of my girlfriends and, long story short, I was drinking champagne and eating fried chicken at 11:00 p.m. on Tuesday night.

You know what isn’t really great for a 40-something woman? Eating fried chicken and drinking champagne at 11:00 on a school night.

Especially when you come home to find your husband sitting on the couch in your living room with the front door wide open and every candle in the house lit because he’s trying to eradicate the smell of the skunk that just sprayed your dumb elderly dog that decided chasing it was a good idea.

It was all very glamorous.

And so I woke up Wednesday morning smelling like a mixture of fried chicken, skunk and Volcano candle. Otherwise known as Eau de Junkyard.

One of my very favorite things during this whole process has been the series of pictures that Gulley and Debbi have taken and put on Instagram. They are priceless. And I would be remiss if I didn’t share some of them. Please note the captions on each one because that’s the best part.

This was while they were in the med clinic because Gulley’s youngest son Will got sick at school and they had to pick him up and take him to the doctor.

And this is when we realized the sign at Barnes and Noble was wrong.

And this is when I channeled my inner Kate Middleton because my friend Bevin bought a book about the Royal Family while she was at Barnes & Noble and I didn’t think Kate would mind if I signed it for her.

And, most importantly.

And here are a few quick links to other book related things in case you’re interested:

Just in case you haven’t been here in a few days, I’m giving away a gorgeous pair of Frye boots in celebration of book release. You can find out more here.

I did a fun video interview with Edie at Life in Grace. I apologize in advance for my serious case of flat hair, but what are you gonna do now? You can watch it here.

There’s another video here that I did with my friend Amanda at her house. She’s a great resource when it comes to all things book-related. You can see it here.

If you happen to live in or are visiting the Virginia Beach area, I’m speaking at the Princess Anne Country Club on the evening of February 12. Don’t think I might not be tempted to again channel my inner Kate Middleton because Princess Anne Country Club sounds like I’m practically going to Windsor Castle. You can find out more details here.

Finally (I think), I answered some questions for Alison at Readerly. You can read that interview here.

And now I’m going to get in bed and possibly sleep for three days.

Thanks again for being the best readers ever. I seriously could cry for days just thinking about it.
The Antelope in the Living Room

Okay, so let’s talk about this emotional milestone.

I just got home from an informational meeting at the Junior High because Caroline is going to be in Junior High next year. Of all the things happening in my life right now, this might be the one that is the most surreal and has caused me to be a little bit of a wreck.

Junior High. As in, MIDDLE SCHOOL. As in, she’ll have a locker and everything.

Oh, and also. I have a book that’s officially out today. Maybe you’ve heard about it since I have been talking about it for the last week or so non-stop.

It’s called The Antelope in the Living Room: The Real Story of Two People Sharing One Life.

Spoiler alert: It’s about marriage. Specifically, it’s about my marriage. But I expect that it’s probably about your marriage, too. Because there are things and moments and frustrations and joys that we all experience as we spend our lives with another person that we’ve pledged to be with until one or both of us die.

(You’re welcome for that cheery thought.)

I’m going to be honest with you and admit that I hope you buy this book. And I hope you spread the word to your friends and that they read it. Because as I’ve really spent time thinking about what my hopes and dreams are for The Antelope in the Living Room (the book, not the real antelope because my hope for it is that it mysteriously disappears) something has become clear. I want it to fill you with the realization that you’re normal.

I realize that may be a lofty goal for some of you.

Here’s the thing. Marriage can be hard. We all know that. And there are millions, or at least hundreds, of books out there with all manner of advice telling us how we can be better wives or speak each other’s love languages or pray for our husbands. And that’s good. Sometimes that’s what we need.

But in a world where Fifty Shades of Gray spent time on the bestseller list, maybe we need a book about a real relationship. A real, messy, beautiful, normal marriage and what an incredible thing it can be and what a gift it is to spend your life with a man who can drive you crazy and make you fall in love all over again in the midst of the mundane and the routine and the what’s for dinner tonight and the soccer carpools.

Maybe instead of reading more statistics about divorce and hearing all the gloom and doom, we need a little hope that marriage, with all its ups and downs, can bring us joy.

Because it’s often in those hard moments that we are becoming the person God created us to be. We’re dying to self and learning what it means to forgive and sharing all the triumphs and struggles that life can bring with another human being. It’s in the simple chaos and absurdities of everyday life that you and your husband are weaving a legacy for your family.

And if we can’t find the laughter and the humor and the security in that? Then I think we’re missing the whole point.

That’s my prayer as this book goes out into the world. That for a few hours or days or however long it takes you to finish it, that you will laugh and cry and feel normal. That you’ll know you’re not the only one whose husband buys peppermint bark in bulk or lectures you on how to turn the closet doorknob the right way or didn’t buy you a Lexus wrapped in a big red bow this past Christmas.

I want it to be a reminder that marriage is funny and fragile and hard and wonderful all at the same time. It’s God’s gift to us and sometimes I think we can all use to remember that it is worth fighting for.

Over the last few months, I have been so thankful for your kind words and your prayers and your support. You have blessed me and cheered me on more than I can ever convey. You’re a part of this book and I would love for you to be a part of it again this week as it goes out in the world.

So today I have a really fun giveaway planned just to say thank you for all your support.

One of you has the chance to win a pair of my very favorite Frye boots. The Jackie Tall Button boots. I talk about them in a chapter of the book.

I happen to own them in the cognac color, but you can choose whatever color and size you prefer. All you have to do for a chance to win is leave a comment on this post. I’ll close comments on Friday, February 7th at noon and choose a winner using Random.org. One comment per person please. Duplicates will be deleted.

In the meantime, here are some ways you can help make the launch of The Antelope in the Living Room a success. You can do all of these or none of them. I mean that with almost total sincerity. Well, maybe 65% sincerity.

1. Buy the book

It’s officially out today.

Here’s a handy widget if you’d like to purchase it from one of the following places online.

Or you can be like a pioneer and trek to your local real live bookstore and buy it there. It should be on the shelves at all your local book stores and even your Sam’s Club.

2. ONLINE REVIEWS

You can start leaving reviews for the book today and it would be great if you would take the time to leave a review after you read the book. Apparently, that’s important.

You can just briefly write your thoughts and please know that if you leave a one star review that I won’t read it because I learned last time that it causes me to go in the fetal position.

3. SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to post about it or tweet about it or Facebook it or Instagram yourself holding a copy of it at your bookstore or on your couch or whatever.

And if you feel like it, you can hashtag it (Dad, that’s this #) like this #antelopeinthelivingroom. That will make it easy for me to go find your pictures on Instagram or read your tweets.

Plus, Gulley and my friend Debbi have made it their mission to take pictures of the book all day long in various locations and they’ll be using #antelopeinthelivingroom as their hashtag. I have a feeling it’s going to be entertaining.

You can also find easy ways to share the book or tweet or pin or whatever the kids are doing these days on the official book page. Just click here.

4. SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS

You know, everyone you know and maybe even some people you don’t. Word of mouth is such a huge help.

5. PRAY

My prayer for this book is that it gets in the hands of every woman who may need the encouragement or the laughs. I hope it helps us all take some time to find the joy in our marriage and breathe a sigh of relief that it doesn’t all need to feel so heavy all the time.

I cannot thank you enough for all the love you have shown me. I don’t take it lightly that you show up here and read what I write and buy my books. In fact, I don’t know that I’ll ever get over it. And I’ve determined that I will forever spend book release days crying like a baby intermittently throughout the day as I am overwhelmed with all the kindness. And maybe also that my baby is going to Junior High next year.

Thank you isn’t enough.

But maybe a chance at a pair of Frye boots helps.

**Also, one last reminder that I’ll be signing books at the Barnes and Noble San Pedro location in San Antonio tonight from 6-8 p.m.**

****Comments on this post are now closed. The winner has been chosen and notified by email! Thank you all so much!****
The day before tomorrow

We just got home a little while ago from a Super Bowl party and I’ve sat here for the last thirty minutes trying to figure out if I have anything interesting to say.

Here’s the short version. No I do not.

But I will share some things I learned during the Super Bowl for lack of anything better to share.

1. Jack Bauer is coming back, y’all. Jack is back. And it looks like Chloe is coming with him which makes me so happy because she’s like the female Napoleon Dynamite on the show. GAH. Are you gonna eat your tots?

2. Starting the game with a fumbled snap and a safety doesn’t bode well.

3. I really didn’t have a real preference for who won. I originally thought I was cheering for the Broncos but as the game went on I became acutely aware of how little I cared about the outcome.

4. I felt like Bruno Mars and his band were reminiscent of Sha-Na-Na in their gold lame’ jackets.

5. When you eat a dinner composed of chips, guacamole, ribs, brisket, cheese pizza, caramelized bacon, jalapeño poppers, and chili, it might make your stomach not feel so great later. I have so many regrets.

6. My child was a fan of the Super Bowl party accessories.

7. I decided if I ever coach a team that might win the Super Bowl (because that’s totally a real possibility) I’m going to ask my players to not pour Gatorade on me. Water, fine. But the idea of being cold AND sticky? It’s too much for me to bear. I’d have to shower immediately and miss all the post-game celebration.

8. The Budweiser commercials with the puppy and the horse make me feel like I’m being emotionally manipulated. I’m not sure what the end result is though because they don’t make me think I need to drink a Budweiser.

9. If you bet in a pool where you choose some squares and have no idea what you’re doing, you might win $100 because that totally happened to me last night.

10. I’m sad that football is over until August because it’s the only televised sport I care to watch.

And there you have it.

Also, I’m not sure if you remember because I’ve only mentioned it, oh I don’t know, 5403 times, but I have a book coming out tomorrow. And you’ll want to make sure not to miss the blog because we are giving away some fabulous prizes all week just because I love you all so much and am excited about the book and hope you will be too.

And for my San Antonio area friends, don’t forget that I’ll be signing books at the Barnes and Noble at San Pedro across from North Star Mall tomorrow (Tuesday, Feb. 4) from 6-8 p.m. I’d love to see you there because I really don’t want to be sitting there by myself because AWKWARD.

See y’all tomorrow. It kind of feels like Christmas Eve.
Fashion Friday: Edition the last day of January

First of all, I’ve never been more certain that I have the best readers in all of the world. I hit publish on that post last night and then tossed and turned all night, wondering if maybe I should delete it or if it was too much. And then I spent all day yesterday reading the sweetest, most encouraging comments and emails ever. Thank you for that and for loving me and for just generally being all kinds of awesome.

Secondly, on a more shallow note, I have struggled to find fashion items for today. Specifically because we’re in that weird time of year where the winter stuff that’s still around is on sale and probably for a reason. And the spring stuff is cute but, hi, even the Southern United States experienced a snow storm this week and I think we still have a while before we break out the sandals.

All that being said, I did my best and I found some things I really like.

1. mirabelle faux leather jacket

I’ve been on the lookout for a jacket like this all winter long and now I think I’ve finally found THE ONE. It’s not real leather but I’m not concerned about that. What caught my eye is that it’s $85 and has a majority of rave reviews.

2. crystal station enamel bangle

These bangles come in a rainbow of colors and I can totally see them stacked on my arm.

3. peasant tunic dress

I love this. My only dilemma is that it also comes in navy and black and I can’t decide which color I’d prefer. But all of them would look great with leggings and boots.

4. annabelle crocheted pullover

I hope it’s obvious that you’ll need to wear something under this. But I really like it for a spring/summer transition sweater. It also comes in a few other colors.

5. gap fit training hoodie

I’ve featured this before, but now it’s on sale. However, sizes are limited. But, pardon me for channeling Hans and Frans, listen to me now and believe me later. You want this hoodie in your athletic wear arsenal. It’ll pump you up.

6. sabine boho blouse

Last spring I bought a blouse that’s very similar to this and wore the heck out of it. It looks great with regular jeans now and perfect with white jeans later.

7. brigid ponte dress

This dress looks really cute and it comes in several colors. This is the kind of thing that can be dressed up for the office or a night out or just worn with sandals and some fun jewelry. It’s basically the blank slate of dresses.

8. ethereal lace top

I can’t even express all the ways I adore this top. It also comes in a lovely cream color.

9. gap stripe roll sleeve henley top

Love this casual top. Easy to throw on with jeans or shorts.

10. justin cowboy boots

It’s almost rodeo time here in San Antonio and that has me thinking about cowboy boots. Specifically, do I need a new pair of them? I feel the correct answer to this is yes. And I think these might be the right ones. I love that they’re just simple and traditional.

So that’s it for today.

Have a great Friday.
Where feet may fail

I’m sitting here in the quiet house while Caroline is at soccer practice and P is at the ranch. I have so many thoughts going on in my head and I’m going to do my best to get them all out and not edit and second guess myself to death.

(Not that anyone would ever accuse me of editing myself, but sometimes the more serious the thoughts, the more I over explain.)

For the last several weeks everyone in my life has been asking me if I’m excited about my second book coming out. And I am. Let me say that before I say anything else. Writing books is a dream that was so deep inside me for so long that I don’t know if I can even articulate what it means to see it come true.

But I think being on the verge of having your second book release must feel a little bit like having your second child. You’re not as naive. You know all the work that goes into it and that you’re going to have some sleepless nights worrying about things beyond your control. You’re trying to navigate that line between hoping people will buy your book and not being an annoying self-promoter. You know now that people can be mean and leave reviews that will leave a mark even though you try to pretend you’re totally cool with it even though they just called your baby an ugly troll. Or maybe they just said you’re a bad writer. Whatever. Same difference.

And maybe that’s why I’ve just felt overwhelmed for the last month or so. There were a few days in early January when I thought to myself, “Well, I have officially begun my descent into full-blown agoraphobia” because I didn’t really want to leave my house and I certainly didn’t want to think about speaking events I’d already committed to do or whether or not I’d commit to more. Because here’s the secret that I’ll share, I feel so inadequate. Off the top of my head I can think of at least 4,052 people who are better than me.

That’s what kept running through my mind. I can’t do this. I can’t balance my time between work and family. I have no wisdom to share. I’m not enough. I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough and, doggone it, I don’t even know if people like me. Stuart Smalley was a dadgum liar.

But then about a week ago I was driving to meet some friends for lunch and secretly maybe wishing I’d get the flu so I would have an excuse to continue to be a social recluse (I’m envisioning all of you now second-guessing your assumptions that we’d be friends in real life because now you’re overcome with the realization that I’m so weird and introverted) when the song Oceans came on.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

As I listened, really listened, to the words I felt God say to me, “You feel like this is too much because you’re trying to figure out how to do it on your own power and none of this is about you.” It took everything in me not to just pull the car over and cry because that’s exactly it. I’m trying to be graceful and compassionate and kind and wise and discerning and loving but I’m putting myself in charge of the production of all those attributes. And then my selfishness and pride and insecurity all rise to the top instead and I freak out because I know how lacking I am in basically every category and then I just want to sit on my couch and watch old episodes of Friday Night Lights because that feels safe.

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Because here’s the thing, it’s easier to sit on your couch than to risk failing. It’s easier to sit on your couch than to be out in the world where you’re vulnerable and open to being hurt or disappointed. But you know what happens while you sit on your couch playing Candy Crush and watching Tami Taylor? Life. Beautiful, gorgeous, fragile, heartbreaking, mind-blowing, life. God has a script written for each and every one of us, no matter who we are or what we’ve done or how much we feel completely ill-equipped for the adventure.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

We are all climbing our versions of Mount Everest and have no idea if our oxygen will last or if an avalanche will come, but God does. And we can never underestimate the grace and the strength he will give us for whatever challenges we face. He has called us to things higher and deeper than anything we could ever hope to achieve on our own.

It’s too much. It’s too much for us to do in our strength because we will mess it up but he knows that and uses us anyway. Because it’s never about creating or doing or being something that’s perfect. It’s not about having all the right answers. It’s about being his. It’s knowing that he who has called us is faithful.

Since early January I’ve had Colossians 1:17 written on the chalkboard in our kitchen. “He is before all things and in him all things hold together.” It’s weird how that never once suggests that I’m the one who’s supposed to hold everything together. He’s holding it all. He is before it all. He uses the sinners and the weak and the things that this world views as broken and hopeless. But in him all those things come together, do things we never dreamed were possible, and make something beautiful where we once looked and saw nothing.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior