Author: Big Mama

Antelopes and chandeliers

So last week I ended up taking an inadvertent break from my Smart Barre workouts. At first it was because we were busy getting the playroom finished and I felt that using an orbital sander for hours at a time definitely counted as exercise.

But then I started feeling kind of bad. And then I couldn’t move my neck and I was like Joan Cusack in Sixteen Candles. And then I had friends coming in from out of town and it was the weekend and I generally try to not exercise on the weekends because I feel I should observe the Sabbath.

It always comes back to how spiritual I am.

By the time I returned to Smart Barre on Tuesday morning, it had been a full seven days since my last workout. Forgive me Father for I have sinned and also eaten two gallons of chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream. And six pounds of crawfish. And my body weight in guacamole.

Needless to say, it totally kicked my rear end. And I woke up Wednesday morning almost as sore as I was the first time I ever did Smart Barre. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it felt like some effort to squeeze toothpaste on my toothbrush and lift it to brush my teeth.

(Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but that’s what I do.)

But I went to Smart Barre again because the only way to get rid of the soreness is to go through it all over again. Exercise is the worst.

And I think it’s indicative of my true feelings about the whole exercise thing when I was almost excited to realize I won’t have time to go to Smart Barre on Thursday morning because I have my annual exam at my doctor’s office.

What is wrong with me?

Anyway, since I mentioned the playroom, I thought I’d show you the beds now that they’re finished and stained and decorated with bedding that was picked out without much drama at all. At least not much drama for our house. And certainly not as much drama as yesterday when Caroline wanted some kind of special ponytail in her hair but couldn’t find a picture to show me what she was trying to explain and, OH THE HUMANITY, her life is very difficult.

So here are the beds.

I know. They are the cutest.

We found the quilts at World Market. They’re called the Paisley Rialto quilt. They’re a little thin, but that’s actually a good thing because it makes them easy to tuck in. Plus I’ve ordered two cotton blankets from JC Penney but apparently they’re backordered and my life is very difficult.

The turquoise side table is another World Market find and all the pillows came from Homegoods. I have big plans to get those linen-colored ones monogrammed with Caroline’s monogram in turquoise thread, but that would require me to remember to take them to the monogram place. And we bought that chandelier at a garage sale several years ago. It has been in a corner of Caroline’s room, but as the playroom started coming together, Mimi suggested it might be the perfect light fixture for in there. So P worked his electrician magic and I love it so much.

I also feel like the following picture sums up my whole house. Perhaps even my entire life.

P would argue that the Antelope of the Lord is the prettiest thing in that picture. I would beg to differ.

But I’m so pleased with how everything turned out. We finished it last Wednesday and Caroline has basically lived in there ever since. Occasionally we go visit her on the top bunk, which we now refer to as her little perch, to remind her we exist.

Now I’d love to find a cute rug that’s impossibly cheap so I won’t be obsessed about things getting spilled on it. Ideally it would be made out of something that would repel stains, but I don’t know that anyone is making teflon rugs. Any suggestions are welcome.

Then eventually we’ll add a little desk or drawing table. And Caroline has informed me she’d like to continue to add all manner of fish mounts and deer heads to the walls.

I can’t even.

So for now I’m just going to enjoy the present and the subtlety of having just one single enormous antelope on the wall.
Because it’s almost mother’s day and a $50 gift card giveaway!

So since it’s the Wednesday before Mother’s Day, I thought it might be fun to share a few quick things.

1. The lovely Ruth from Carol & Company jewelry has generously agreed to give away a $50 gift card to one of you.

If you win, you could use it to buy one of these acrylic charm circle initial necklaces that I think would be so fun for summer.

Or maybe something like this john wind gold initial bracelet that I have been coveting for the better part of a year.

All you have to do for a chance to win is check out all the gorgeous things at Carol & Company and leave a comment on this post telling me what you might buy if you win. I’ll leave comments open until Friday and then choose a winner at random.

But, best of all, you can get 10% off anything on their website for the next seven days when you use the code MAMA10 at checkout. And there are some darling things.

Why are you still here? Go check it out.

2. While we’re on the subject of great Mother’s Day ideas, I believe I have mentioned that my dear friend Sophie has a book coming out on June 4th. But you can totally go ahead and pre-order a copy on Amazon right now. And, trust me, your mom/grandma/sister/lady at the bakery will totally love it.

You can find out more about it, watch Sophie’s sweet book trailer, and read the first chapter by clicking over to her book page.

3. This post, So God Made A Mother, by my friend Ann Voskamp is stunningly beautiful. Just like everything Ann does.

Plus, there’s a great way to give a gift that gives back to help mothers in Haiti through Compassion International. It’s too late to get it in time for Mother’s Day, but not too late to make a difference. And I bet your mom will cry big tears if you share Ann’s words with her.

Don’t forget to check out Carol & Company and leave a comment here for a chance to win the $50 gift card. One comment per person please. Otherwise my head may explode and that’s really no good for anyone.

Have a great Wednesday.
Cinco de weekend

Happy belated Cinco de Mayo!

I hope you all had a wonderful and meaningful celebration as you gathered around your beautifully decorated Cinco de Mayo tree.

What? Is that not a tradition in your family?

Yes. Mine neither.

I’m just rambling as I try to figure out how to begin this post and what all we’ve done over the last three days because I am tired to my bones. But it’s the good kind of tired like after you’ve had a ton of fun and not enough sleep.

As an indication of how tired we are and, thus, easily entertained, I’ll confess that P and I just spent six minutes of our lives watching a YouTube video of Spidey vs. The Yeti from The Electric Company. I have no explanation except to say we sometimes go off on random childhood tangents and the next thing you know we’re watching an orange sing opera from an old episode of Sesame Street.

The 70s were a simpler time, man.

Now you’d have apples crying discrimination that they weren’t chosen to sing and Yetis believing they’re being profiled.

Anyway, our weekend. That’s what this is supposed to be about. Not to in any minimize the plight of Yetis.

Friday morning, Caroline woke up with a sore throat and a headache so I let her stay home from school. I think there was a better than average chance that it was a combination of allergies and exhaustion and a May cold front that dropped temperatures into the 40s, but it felt like a good call to have a day on the couch.

However, I wasn’t on the couch with her because we had friends coming in for the weekend and I needed to clean the house and finish getting the playroom/guest room ready for company. I also made a trip to HEB where I bought every onion and potato and ear of corn they had on the shelves in preparation for our big Cinco de Mayo crawfish boil.

My friend Michelle arrived on Friday night and I’d warned her we were going to be totally lame because it had been a long, busy week. Fortunately, Michelle embraced the lameness and we picked up burgers for dinner and were all asleep by 10:00 p.m. The only way we could have been less fun had been if we’d chosen to subject her to YouTube videos from 1970s children’s television shows.

However, we had to get a good night’s sleep because Caroline had a soccer tournament all day Saturday. Which meant we had to get up at 6:30 a.m. and be at the fields ready to play by 7:30. This is not my optimal way to begin a Saturday. Or really any day.

We arrived at the soccer fields, in our fleece jackets because the weather is INSANE right now, and watched Caroline’s team lose the first game. And then a couple of hours later we watched them lose the second game. And then a few hours after that we watched them lose their third game. It was more than slightly disheartening. Especially when Caroline scored an amazing goal and it was called back because the referee said she was offsides. Which she totally WAS NOT because even the opposing coach agreed it was a terrible call.

But what are you going to do when a soccer referee decides to take out the frustration of wearing socks that are pulled up way to high and tight on a nine year old girl?

So we believed we’d reached the end of our tournament hopes and dreams even though we were told there was a slim chance we might make it to the next round. However, I eliminated that as a totally impossible scenario because how do you advance without winning even one game?

We drove home and began to get everything ready for the crawfish boil. My friends, MK and Kelly, flew into town and we picked them up at the airport just in time for all the festivities.

And then we spent the next few hours eating and laughing and peeling little crawfish as fast as we could.

There is really not much I enjoy more than a good crawfish boil. And I also have to mention that I made Pioneer Woman’s Tres Leches cake for dessert and it was so good. Like the kind of good that I haven’t been able to quit thinking about it. You should totally make one sometime soon.

We stayed up way too late talking and catching up on life. Which was why it was such a shock when P woke me up Sunday morning at 8:30 to announce that Caroline’s soccer team had made it to the semi-finals of the tournament and we had a soccer game in three hours.

What is happening?

How do you advance in a tournament when you haven’t won a game? I have no idea. It’s something about a point system. I’d try to give a better explanation but it might involve math and then CHECK, PLEASE.

So we all headed back out to the soccer fields to watch the semi-final game. And. We lost. But they played really hard and Caroline was thrilled to get to play one more game. Sadly, while you can make it to the semi-finals with all losses, it doesn’t help you make it to the championship game.

Then I ran up to Barnes and Noble for a book signing smelling like outside smell and sweaty soccer hugs. I’m sure someone will bottle that fragrance up in no time and sell it for no dollars because blech.

And the rest of the weekend and most of yesterday was spent eating Mexican food at various restaurants in various forms until I put my sweet friends back on a plane to Tennessee. Then we ate cereal for dinner because it felt like some detox was in order.

Cinco de Mayo isn’t for the weak. Only the fittest and those who can eat the most chips, guacamole and crawfish survive.
Approximately FREE American dollars

So here’s an early Mother’s Day present for you.

The Kindle version of Sparkly Green Earrings is FREE right now.

As in, FREE.

Like ZERO dollars.

See y’all tomorrow.
Fashion Friday: Edition sparkly green giveaway!

Y’all.

It is May and it’s going to be forty-something degrees in the morning. I don’t even understand what is happening. Yesterday morning I had a speaking thing at a local school and I had no idea what to wear because it was cold and windy and definitely not spring-like. So I texted a friend and asked, “Can I wear my boots in May since it’s cold outside?”

And she replied, “I wouldn’t let the weather lead me into a fashion faux pas.”

Which is really just pure wisdom. So I wore my wedge sandals and my toes hated me and they may never be warm again.

Anyway, next weekend is Mother’s Day. And you know what might make a great gift for your mom/sister/friend/mother-in-law/girl who works at Chick-Fil-A that gives you extra polynesian sauce?

I mean, no pressure or anything. But people seem to like it. Even people who aren’t related to me by blood. So maybe some of your people might like it, too.

And if you’ve read it and loved it, then I would so appreciate you spreading the word to all your friends. I don’t want to ever be all BUY MY BOOK, but apparently when you write a book you’re supposed to encourage people to buy it. I’m not very good at that part.

It’s available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. You can even walk into a real live bookstore in a city near you just like how people used to buy books in days of yore.

And just in case you want to give it as a Mother’s Day gift, I thought it would be fun to give away a pair of Towne & Reese Reynolds green earrings to two of you today.

Aren’t they pretty? And, listen, I have become an expert on green earrings.

If you win then you can give them away for Mother’s Day. Or you can keep them for yourself. It’s totally up to you and I’ll never tell your mom.

I’ll leave comments open until Sunday and then choose two winners at random. All you have to do is leave a comment for a chance to win.

And now for some other cute things I’ve seen this week:

1. monogrammed clutch purse

The sweet ladies behind Two Funny Girls sent me this darling monogrammed clutch purse. They come in all kinds of colors and are just so cute. I think they’d make a great bridesmaid gift. I mean, unless you’re not a bride because then you probably don’t need to buy bridesmaids’ gifts. Unless you want to say thank you seventeen years after the fact.

They have a ton of really great things and I’m already tempted to get one of these floppy summer hats or a pair of monogrammed running shorts.

And because they are so nice, they’re offering free shipping when you use the code BIGMAMA at checkout. Perfect timing for graduation and teacher gifts.

2. gap leather flip flops

Listen. I have these in gold. I bought them last summer and, I kid you not, have worn the fire out of them. In fact, I may need a new pair. I may also need them in this coral color. Or hot pink. Or blue.

I adore them.

3. eyelet peplum top

How cute is this top? Perfect for summer with colored jeans or shorts.

4. kendra scott tassel pendant necklace

I think we all know by now that I’m a little obsessed with Kendra Scott. I have this necklace in green and adore it.

This would be a great Mother’s Day present and comes in so many pretty colors.

5. fiesta fever swimsuit coverup

I know. Did you just gag when you read the word “swimsuit”? I’m sorry. But I do love this coverup. It’s a little Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company.

Maybe I’ll buy one and then put my hair up in a double side ponytail.

But probably not.

6. essential scoop dress

I saw this dress online at Gap and immediately thought YES PLEASE. There is nothing easier and cooler than throwing on a dress all summer long. And this one looks so comfortable.

7. old navy sleeveless tunic dress

And then I saw this at Old Navy and I channeled Rachel Zoe and said, “I DIE”. I love a casual summer dress. You could totally wear this at the pool or throw on wedge sandals and be a little more dressed up.

8. lavender roll-tab blouse

For many a year I have not been a fan of lavender. Or really any color in the purple family. But all of a sudden I’m feeling myself drawn to the occasional lavender blouse.

This would be great with white and maybe turquoise or mint green accents.

9. agnyss sandal

Last year I developed a fixation on finding the perfect gold sandal. And I ultimately settled on the Gap ones I featured above because they were cheap and comfortable.

But if I decide I need something a little nicer and more sandal-like, I’m totally getting these. Granted, they aren’t as shiny as Caroline’s Mr. T sandals because nothing is that shiny apart from the sun. But they are still lovely.

10. crochet lace shift dress

I am a fool for a white crochet dress. But this also comes in black and a really pretty burgundy color.

Personally, I like the white. With sandals. And turquoise jewelry.

Now I just need somewhere to wear it.

That’s it for this week.

Don’t forget to leave a comment for a chance to win the green earrings.

Y’all have a great Friday.
The gold sandals and I end with a rainbow

I realize at this point I have basically complained for two days about my sore knees and my neck and my bursitis.

Not really about the bursitis, but only because I don’t have it. Otherwise you would have totally heard about that too.

So maybe it’s time to bore you with other meaningless details of life around here this week.

We finally finished the playroom yesterday. I mean we still have to put bedding on the beds and a few other little details, but the painting/sanding/cussing like a sailor/staining portion of the job is complete. All said and done it took us about a week and didn’t even require any marriage counseling. Even though there was one dark moment when P told me something wasn’t 133 inches but 132 7/8 and my eyes may have rolled out of my head.

Anyway, I’ve spent the last two days catching up on all the other things I’ve neglected during this project. First on the list was taking Caroline to get new soccer cleats after school. Her foot always decides to have a growth spurt right before the last game of the soccer season which is terribly convenient and expensive. Especially since she’s inherited P’s narrow feet with high arches.

That’s one of the things you forget to pray for when you’re pregnant. That your child will inherit your feet that can wear virtually any shoes without any problems whatsoever instead of needing shoes made of dragonfly wings that have been hand-cobbled by elves.

We went to the Soccer Factory and found a pair of cleats. The whole process was pretty painless and I guess filled me with optimism so I suggested we stop by MJM Shoes to see if we could find her a nice pair of sandals. Not to mention I had two pairs I needed to return that she’d rejected a few days earlier because they were “too blergh”.

(No. I don’t really know what that means either. But rest assured it’s not good.)

So I returned the rejected sandals made by the devil while she looked around to see if there was anything that caught her eye. She tried on several pair that she immediately declared, “SO UNCOMFORTABLE. THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER HAD ON MY FEET” until she finally tried these and decided they were perfect.

They are from the Mr. T shoe collection. I pity the fool that looks directly at them in the sunlight.

Because as shiny and gold as they look in that picture? Multiply it by the number of times I have seen Coal Miner’s Daughter.

But I’m claiming them as a win because they aren’t cleats or Converse high tops or rubber flip-flops.

Then yesterday I’d planned to go to Smart Barre after I dropped Caroline off at school. But we overslept and by the time I got her to school I decided I just didn’t have a workout in me. So I got a taquito at Whataburger instead and then ran errands in search of exciting things like an eight foot white extension cord, an oscillating fan, and a large basket to hold Caroline’s Wii games and accessories.

It was all terribly glamorous.

And, ultimately, my errands led me to The Container Store to find these cable twister things to organize the cords in the playroom.

(Did you just die of boredom? Because I just re-read part of this and jagkljl;kdjhdfzhn)

(Sorry. I dozed off.)

I also happened to see this jewelry organizer thing and bought it in a fit of unbridled optimism. And then I walked around the rest of the store for a few more minutes before I felt utterly defeated and lost my will to live.

It’s time that I accept organization is not my gift.

I’d show you a picture of the inside of my desk drawer but it would cause you to need therapy and I can’t do that to you.

However, I did have a moment of triumph this afternoon. For months I’ve been pinning all manner of bookshelves on Pinterest where the books were organized according to color. Frankly, it’s bordered on an obsession. And I kept telling myself that I was going to do that on the bookshelves above the desk in our kitchen.

Then I’d get distracted and sit on the couch for six hours watching Season 1 of Call the Midwife and forget about the bookshelves in lieu of trying to figure out if I can wear red lipstick.

But yesterday I took the bull by the horns or the books by the spine or whatever and took them all off the shelves, sorted them by color and put them back in my own version of rainbow organization.

It was like I’d just climbed my own personal Mount Everest. And I love it.

You know who’s not going to love it?

P.

There is no semblance of order. There are no categories. There’s no distinguishing between his books and my books. Now if he wants to find any of his books easily he’s going to have to remember what color they are.

What are the chances he’s not going to appreciate my love of form over function?

I’m guessing 132 7/8 percent.

And now I want to make a joke about finding Caroline’s new gold sandals at the end of my new book rainbow.