Author: Big Mama

Listen.

This is the lamest blog of all time this week. And I am so sorry.

But, like I may have mentioned yesterday, if it’s not happening in our playroom right now and doesn’t involve paint or sanding or stain or crying and profanity, then it’s pretty much non-existent in my life.

Although I did make a trip to workout at Smart Barre yesterday morning because I was hoping all the stretching and whatnot would help with all the soreness from all the home improvement. Sadly, any good that was done was immediately nullified when I spent the better half of yesterday painting tiny little bits of crown molding with a tiny little paint brush.

Now I can no longer look to the right or the left. Which shouldn’t be terribly inconvenient except for the times I want to live my life like a normal person.

So I’ll be back tomorrow once I find a chiropractor/Advil/neck brace/a case of wine/my mind.

Here’s what you need to know first.

My knees will never be the same.

Why? Have I been in a season of intense prayer?

No.

I mean, yes, I have prayed over the last few days. I’ve prayed for sanity as we continue to work on the playroom.

But the reason my knees are ruined forever is because of something called an orbital sander. P taught me how to use one on Saturday afternoon and I spent the next few hours on my knees sanding the beds he built for Caroline.

For the first hour or so I felt all I AM WOMAN HEAR ME SAND. But then, as I felt all the feeling leave my knees around the hour and a half mark, I began to wonder why we didn’t just buy some beds like normal people.

I’ll tell you why.

Pinterest.

On the plus side, I can add Professional Sander and Wood Stainer to my resume. Which I’m sure will come in terribly useful for all future career plans.

And so that’s why I didn’t post yesterday. Because I am abandoning writing in favor of various construction projects.

Not really. I was just exhausted. And while I realize my sore knees shouldn’t impede my ability to sit and type on a keyboard, somehow it all seemed to be directly related. Well, and I also needed to watch Mad Men before I went to bed.

So that’s what we did this weekend.

Actually, Friday was a school holiday. I’m trying really hard to remember what we did but I’m having a hard time focusing because P just informed me that our roof is leaking. Excuse me while I go find a bottle of wine.

(You may remember that our roof got damaged in an Easter hail storm and needs to be completely replaced. However, we are still waiting on various estimates and now it’s raining and we have a bad roof. I know this is true because we have water coming in the roof of our bathroom and we just had to put a bucket in there.)

Anyway, Friday. Caroline had a friend come over to play and then we went to dinner later that evening with Mimi and Bops. Then on Saturday morning she had a soccer game and got hit right in the face with a ball, cried on the field, but kept playing. This is her father’s DNA at work. I would have been off the field and dialing 911 before anyone knew what happened.

The rest of Saturday was like a scene from This Old House. I sanded while P built shelves and a ladder, rewired a chandelier, and cut crown molding. Then we ordered Papa John’s for dinner (Cinnapie!), showered and fell into bed wondering if we’d even be able to move in the morning.

The answer is kind of. I believe I’ve lost a lot of mobility in my neck region. And I can no longer lift my arms above my head and I have no feeling in my hands, but other than that, I’m good.

I wish I were exaggerating but Caroline had a dentist appointment this afternoon and when I went to fill out the update form I realized I could barely write because my hands are so tired and sore.

I realize this is all terribly uninteresting, but it’s all I’ve got for today because it is LITERALLY all we’ve done for three days now. But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And a little bit of wood stain that I’m fairly sure will never come off my knee.

My plan was to show you pictures of the progress, but I’m afraid Mamaw’s knees can’t make it to the guest room right now. So maybe tomorrow.

Or maybe something more interesting will happen between now and then. Like another leak in our roof.

*****
Also, for anyone in or near San Antonio, I’m having a special book signing just in time for Mother’s Day at the Barnes and Noble on San Pedro (across from North Star Mall) this Sunday, May 5th at 2:00 p.m. I’d love to see you there!

So today is Battle of Flowers. Which is a holiday here in San Antonio and you’re probably thinking you’ve never heard of it.

Probably because you’ve never heard of it.

There’s a big parade to honor the fallen heroes at the Alamo and to commemorate the Battle of San Jacinto. And basically the whole town shuts down. But I’m not complaining because it means we get to sleep in and enjoy a three day weekend.

Anyway, the other day I ran into Macy’s because I was looking for a blanket that I’d seen online. And as I walked through the store I kind of looked around for a minute but then my brain kind of shut down because I felt totally and completely overwhelmed. There was too much to look at.

And it confirmed what I’ve known deep down for a long time. I am a fan of a smaller store. I like to walk in, take a look at everything and then buy something if I happen to like/need/want it. I realize that there are benefits to shopping in large department stores and you can usually find more items on sale, but I prefer to shop that way when I have a purpose and am looking for something specific.

Isn’t this riveting? Why am I telling you this?

I’ll tell you why. Because I have about five stores that are on my regular list. I swing by when I have a chance to see what they have and one of them is called The Impeccable Pig.

And they gave me this cute top which I plan to wear all summer long.

(I realize that is a horrible picture. My hand looks like a claw and it’s all very awkward.)

Here’s a better picture of the Orange You Glad top.

The Impeccable Pig is located at 5934 Broadway and if you live here and go into the store and mention reading my blog, they will give you 20% off your purchase. You can also like their Facebook page which offers exclusive deals and discounts for those of you that live far away and have to shop online.

And now for some cute stuff I’ve seen this week:

1. rugby stripe dress

It’s been a long time since I’ve bought anything from J.Crew. I don’t really know why, but I think it’s because it’s at the mall and feels far away.

But I got their catalog the other day and saw this rugby dress and I think I might be in love. Best of all, everything at J.Crew is 25% off in stores and online with the code SPRINGBEST.

2. sanctuary liberty chino shorts

I am such a fan of Sanctuary shorts. I think they’re the best. And I love that you can roll them up to be short or roll them down to be longer depending on how you feel. In fact, I don’t even try on any other shorts anymore because I know none will compare.

(ALERT! ALERT! I’m updating this to let you know you can find Sanctuary Peace shorts on sale here. The white ones are only $21.99. And, yes, I just bought myself another pair.)

3. ombre floppy hat

You know your Aunt Maude here loves a good floppy hat in the summertime to keep from getting the wrinkles.

4. wichita gardens tiered dress

Now, I wouldn’t wear this as a dress. But I would totally wear it over white skinny jeans or as a swimsuit coverup. Love the color and the style.

5. scarf print sleeveless blouse

I haven’t seen these in person because the last time I went in Old Navy it smelled really bad and I haven’t been able to go back in since. I know. I have issues.

But I really like the bright, bold colors of these tops. Perfect with white shorts or jeans for summer.

6. quite a campsite sandal

If you’re looking for a cute, colorful sandal, these might be the ones. And the price is right, Bob.

7. stripe tote

I almost linked to this last week but then ran out of room and made a mental note to include it this week. I love this striped tote bag. It comes in red, blue and green and the biggest problem is choosing which one I’d want.

8. free people printed cardigan

A few weeks ago I bought a Free People sweater that is similar to this one. And I think I’m addicted to it. It’s lightweight enough to wear almost year round and looks so cute with jeans and boots or jeans and sandals.

I just throw mine on over a white t-shirt and jeans and all of a sudden it’s an outfit. Plus, it’s on sale.

(You also may want to check your local Free People store because I bought mine there for even less.)

(Updated to add that Free People has this style too.)

9. chambray shirt

If you don’t have a chambray shirt (or it’s fancy cousin, denim shirt) then I will gently suggest that you need one. And this is a really cute one.

10. keepsake lace top

Oh, and this. How do I love a lace top? Let me count the ways.

That’s it for this week.

Y’all have a good Friday.

Yesterday morning I woke up and it was cold and rainy outside. Which is just about unheard of for this time of year in San Antonio. In fact, I think we may have broken a record for the lowest temperature ever recorded on April 24.

I believe the cause is either a global shift in weather patterns due to the eroding ozone layer or the fact that I put all my sweaters and long sleeve shirts up in the top of my closet about two weeks ago. Personally, my money is on the latter because I don’t necessarily believe the other is a real thing. It’s like that urban legend about the people who found a lost dog on the beach and took it home and bathed it and fed it and it turned out to be a nutria rat.

And don’t you dare tell me in the comments that’s exactly what happened to your cousin’s best friend’s sister.

Anyway, because of the cold and the rain I sat on my couch with a cup of coffee until 9:32 a.m. trying to convince myself I could skip my Smart Barre workout for the day. But then guilt took over because it wasn’t like I was actually doing anything productive. Unless you count looking at new sale stuff on Anthropologie as productive. If so, you are my people.

I decided I’d feel better if I went ahead and worked out. So I threw on my workout clothes and drove up to Smart Barre just in time for the 9:45 class. And I stayed for the entire class even though part of the internal bargain I made with myself was that I could leave early if I felt like it. But the problem with leaving Smart Barre early is that you miss the stretching at the end and I enjoy that part. It’s the only time in my life anyone ever tells me to just “be still and listen to my body”.

And, really, my body doesn’t have much to say. Yet I still enjoy that two minutes of total peace and quiet.

I walked out of class and began putting my shoes back on in the lobby. I was feeling pretty good about myself and my burning quads. Until I overheard one woman who’d just finished the same class I’d been in ask another woman leaving that class if she was heading over to spin class next.

What the actual heck?

These women were leaving a workout to go work out again. Is this a real thing? Because it just feels like overachieving. I bet they measure things and use 3/8 without any trace of irony.

Meanwhile, I left my workout to go meet my friend Amanda for lunch at a Mexican restaurant. That’s who I am.

I’d never been to this Mexican restaurant before and was a little worried when I pulled up that I was going to be way too casual in my workout attire, but then I saw a grown man walk in wearing overalls and I knew I was good because I don’t mean he was wearing overalls in some kind of hipster, trendy way. I mean he looked like he’d come straight from the farm.

And then I walked in and noticed the restaurant still had a fully decorated Christmas tree up and that really sealed the deal. Amanda had promised me they had great Tex Mex and I felt like the Christmas tree indicated I was in store for a legitimate taco plate.

Best of all, when I looked at the menu to decide what to order I noticed that they had a “Ladies’ Special”. Normally, a Ladies’ Special is going to be a chalupa, a scoop of guacamole and maybe some rice. Not at Jacala. Their Ladies’ Special is two cheese enchiladas, two puffy beef tacos, rice and beans.

It’s like the Secret deodorant of Ladies’ Specials.

While I was tempted to order it, I decided in favor of the lunch special which was just one cheese enchilada and one taco.

And I felt like that prudent decision was my personal version of going to spin class.

***Comments are now closed and a winner has been chosen! Thanks for participating!***

So apparently this is the week of giveaways. But if you’re looking for something unique and meaningful for your home or for a Mother’s Day gift, then this might be perfect timing.

Julie Chen, who also designs books for Tyndale House Publishers, is giving away 2 11×14 fine art prints: one that you can give as a gift to your mom and one for you to keep for yourself. Or give to someone else. We’re not the boss of you.

Julie began Life Verse Design while pregnant with her third child. She wanted to fill her home with Scripture art to remind her of powerful encouragement and truth. She recently created Words to Move You for those with a more contemporary style.

Here are a few pictures so you can see the different styles Julie offers.

All you have to do for a chance to win is leave a comment on this post letting me know which one you might choose if you win. There’s no right answer. I’m just curious.

I’ll leave comments open until Friday and then choose a winner at random and notify them by email.

In addition to the giveaway, both of Julie’s shops are offering FREE shipping on any purchase. Just use the BIGMAMA coupon code at the checkout. You can even combine this with their buy 3 8×10 standard prints & get the 4th FREE. To take advantage of this offer, simply place 3 8×10 loose prints in your shopping cart & when you check out please write in the “Notes to Seller” the exact name of the 4th FREE 8×10 print you would like.

That’s it.

I hope you have a lovely day.

Oh! And in case you’re interested, I wrote a guest post over on Sarah Mae’s blog today and she’s giving away a copy of Sparkly Green Earrings. I also wrote a post on the show Nashville over on Pioneer Woman.

Our weekend was fairly uneventful. Caroline had soccer practice on Friday night and a soccer game on Saturday morning. And then we went to watch Gulley’s boys play baseball on Saturday afternoon because San Antonio has decided to have a real spring this year and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Later that night, we ate dinner at our friends’ house and then we slept in Sunday morning because we’ve all been experiencing a touch of the tired and run down.

But about 10:30 a.m. on Sunday, things got interesting. That’s when P called me into the playroom and we began to talk about our options. You may remember that we pulled the sheetrock off the walls and painted them about this time last year and since then the room has pretty much just stayed the same. Which is to say that it was a random assortment of old furniture, a T.V. best described as a dinosaur, and a twin mattress and box springs on the floor.

It was a look I’d call White Trash Chic.

(Also, to assure you that I’m not exaggerating when I say the T.V. was a dinosaur, I’ll tell you that we sat it out on the curb WITH the remote control with a sign that reads “FREE WORKING T.V.!” and it was still there last I checked. We literally can’t give it away.)

I’d spent many, MANY, hours on Pinterest looking at various decorating options and naturally decided we needed to build a bed out of pallets. Because that’s what people do on Pinterest. They build beds out of pallets. And then they add big caster wheels to make sure you know it’s very industrial. You can wheel that pallet bed all over the room if you want to, but you just need to make sure you don’t hit the nightstand painted turquoise with a mosaic scene on top that someone made from nothing but a broken teacup, some Elmer’s glue and a Jedi mind trick.

So over the last few months I’ve shown P various beds made out of pallets and he’s pretended to be interested. That’s the key to a successful marriage.

But on Sunday he was ready to figure it out. We looked at all the various pins I’ve pinned and brought Caroline in to get her thoughts and, before I knew what was happening, we had a plan. He headed off to Home Depot with a dream and his checkbook and came home with a truck full of lumber, some chain, and a box of screws.

And I was excited. However, I was also a tad nervous because these home improvement projects always require team work. I knew it was just a matter of time before he started asking me to read measurements off the tape measure while he held it at a certain point. And you know what P doesn’t consider a real answer?

“Umm. I think it’s like 17 1/2 inches.”

“You think? Or you know? These are measurements. You need to know.”

“What am I? The Metric Man? It looks like 17 1/2 to me.”

Then he’ll look at it to double-check and declare that it is actually 17 3/8. The problem is I don’t deal in eighths of anything. I don’t understand them and, frankly, it just seems like nitpicking. Are you too good to just be a 1/4 or a 1/2? Then I don’t need you in my life.

Before the day was over, P had used a small level, a large level, an industrial tape measure and a chalk line. He enjoys the satisfaction of doing a job right the first time and eliminating superfluous nail holes in a wall whereas I am from the school of CLOSE ENOUGH and would have counted off measurements using the width of my thumb.

But after fifteen and a half (Or is it 3/8?) years of marriage, we made it all the way through a project and were still on friendly terms at the end of the day. I think this was at least partly due to Caroline’s enthusiasm for the project and the fact she appointed herself as P’s official helper while I left for an hour to drive to World Market and look at bedding. And then also went to Target. And then may have stopped at Sonic for tater tots.

When the day ended Caroline had new beds in the playroom. And I’ll be honest, they’re so much better than just a silly old pallet bed with caster wheels.

Now we just have to sand them. And stain them. And find bedding that Caroline and I agree on.

The good news is all of those things should be easier than trying to figure out what 3/8 means.

Except maybe the bedding part. I think we all know by now that Caroline and I are going to have different opinions on that. Specifically, I do not care to have any sort camouflage comforter or quilt.

Although that might make this guy feel right at home since the playroom is his new home.

And, lo, an antelope of the Lord appeared and he was not in my living room and the people said Hallelujah.