Author: Big Mama

  • Book Club: Sarah’s Key

    I have no idea how this snuck up on me.

    All day long yesterday I kept thinking that it seemed like I had something to do on March 31st and I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was. And then, finally, when I was at Bible Study yesterday morning I mentioned Sarah’s Key for some reason I can’t even recall and it all came together that, YES, March 31st was the day I’d scheduled for the second meeting of our very informal, very casual book club.

    And how much more casual and informal can you get than having a hostess who completely forgets all about it?

    I think I’ll refrain from posting any official book club questions this go round because no one really seemed to care to get that technical last time. Instead, I will sum up my feelings in one sentence.

    I thought Sarah’s Key was very sad.

    I guess I should have seen it coming seeing as how it was about the Holocaust, but I don’t think I was prepared for the level of sadness and how hard some of it would be to read. I think I was under the impression that most of it was written in the present and didn’t realize that almost the entire novel would have the past and present intertwined. Which makes me think I need to do a better job of reading the description on the back of books.

    I will say that I read the entire thing in two days. I couldn’t put it down. And I was amazed to realize I’d never heard of the Vel’ d’Hiv Roundup that took place in France by French police. It made me wish I’d paid more attention in all those History classes I took in college. But, you know what they say, college tuition is wasted on people who are a lot more worried about their next date party than history.

    Overall, I thought it was a really good book. It held my attention, although I think I was more captivated by Sarah’s story than by Julia’s, even though it was much harder to read. And, honestly, I thought the ending was a little too Danielle Steele.

    But maybe that’s just me.

    It also cemented my theory that I prefer a good memoir over a fiction novel. I guess I just think real life is more interesting and less predictable.

    But, again, maybe that’s just me.

    I would love to hear y’alls thoughts on the book. What did you love? What did you hate? Would you recommend it?

    And if you have any suggestions for next time, I’d love to hear that too. I’m thinking something light and funny that preferably doesn’t have to do with one of the greatest tragedies in human history.

  • Snakes ‘n shakes

    Well, well, well. Look who got her computer back.

    It’s me. I got my computer back.

    Just in case there was any confusion.

    As it turned out, the Geniuses were able to just pop on a new piece of plastic around my keyboard and a new piece of plastic around my screen and now she’s as good as new except for the fact that it sounds like a herd of heavy-breathing gerbils is running around on the inside of the computer. Also, they weren’t able to fix my CD/DVD drive without me shelling out substantially more cash than I wanted to shell out on a four year old computer, but a girl can’t have everything.

    I’m like the Apostle Paul. He totally learned to be content without a computer that could burn CDs.

    In other news, P got back in town yesterday. You may be thinking that you didn’t even know he was gone and you’re right. Thanks to new heightened security measures around here, it didn’t seem wise to mention that my husband, the one with several guns, was out of town. But now he’s back home and has no intentions of ever leaving again for at least the next three days.

    And I’m so glad he’s back so I can sit next to him on the couch in the evenings and listen to him complain about his homemade vanilla milkshake while I eat a sugar-free popsicle that tastes like cold, cherry-flavored cardboard.

    P said he heard somewhere (I have no idea where, but I’m sure from an “expert”) that drinking a vanilla milkshake after dinner helps with acid reflux. And we are ALWAYS on the lookout for something that helps with acid reflux so that we don’t have to mine for diamonds to pay for Nexium twice a day. So, as of about two weeks ago, he makes himself a vanilla milkshake after dinner every night.

    Also, as of about two weeks ago, I decided it was time for me to start thinking about the reality of wearing a swimsuit in a little over a month. Hence, the sugar-free popsicle aka the dessert of no fun.

    As we sat on the couch last week, I turned to him as he slurped down the last of his shake and asked, “How was your milkshake?”

    “Fine, I guess. As good as a vanilla milkshake can be.”

    As good as a vanilla milkshake can be.

    Bless his heart.

    You know what’s better than a vanilla milkshake? NOT A SUGAR-FREE POPSICLE. And do you know which one of us can lose ten pounds in three days just by cutting down to half a box of Nilla Wafers every day? NOT ME.

    Then, to add insult to injury, Sunday night he went to the fridge to make his vanilla milkshake and discovered we just barely had enough milk to make half a milkshake. I told him we had chocolate milk and suggested he make a chocolate milkshake, but he said that totally defeats the purpose because the chocolate is bad for his acid reflux. I just nodded my head and murmured something deeply sympathetic and heartfelt about his half a milkshake plight that I may or may not be able to repeat on this website.

    And then, AND THEN, he walked into the living room with a handful of Kit-Kats and proceeded to EAT THEM while he waited for his half a vanilla milkshake to melt down enough for him to drink it with a straw. He didn’t even catch the glare I gave him as I picked up his Kit Kat wrappers and threw them in the trash. Probably because by that time he was immersed in suffering through his vanilla milkshake.

    The vanilla milkshake that helps with the reflux that might, MIGHT, be caused by eating five miniature Kit Kats.

    Not that I’m bitter about any of this. The six grapes I had for dessert last night were DELICIOUS.

    Anyway, the real point was to tell you that P left on Sunday to go on a quick hunting trip with a couple of friends. This is the same hunting trip that bestowed this gift on our household.

    The antelope of the Lord.

    Before he walked out the door to leave, I kissed him goodbye and reminded him that our household could not support another large antelope head. I may have said that if he came home with one, he would have to choose between me and the antelope and he said “Ha, ha, you’re so funny!” and I had to explain, “I’m not joking around, Marlon Perkins. No more antelope heads.”

    But somehow I didn’t feel any better when he texted me Monday night to let me know he hadn’t shot an antelope. Mainly because this picture was attached to his text.

    (Those are rattlesnakes. P is six feet tall. Also, he’d already cut off their heads.)

    If one of those shows up in some sort of dead animal tribute in our living room, I won’t move out. I’ll burn the place to the ground.

    And then where will P sit and force down his vanilla milkshakes?

  • A note from the folks at Big Mama, Inc.

    If you’re reading this post it’s because my Mac is currently being held hostage by the nice folks at the Apple Store. As of now I have no idea if this will actually happen but I have an appointment with the geniuses at the Genius Bar in about an hour and there’s always a good chance that they’re going to request that I leave my second child, I mean my Mac, at the store for a few days while they research all its issues.

    There’s also a good chance that they’re going to say, “Hey. This computer is four years old. Maybe it’s time to cut your losses.” as they look at me like I smell bad because I’m not in there to buy a fancy new iPad 2.

    And I’ll put on my most pitiful face and say, “Please, sir, I would love to buy an iPad 2 but we are currently focusing on things like groceries and air-conditioning bills and paying $75 to fill our cars with a half-tank of gas.”

    And they’ll say, “NEXT?” as they escort me from the store.

    This is all purely hypothetical of course.

    I’m hoping they’ll say they can restore my computer to its former glory, back in the days when the keyboard wasn’t cracked and I could actually burn CDs and DVDs. But that will probably mean I’ll have to leave it behind.

    And you may be wondering why I couldn’t just post on our other computer. That would be because we don’t own another computer because P maintains he doesn’t need a computer. Which is so weird since he seems to abduct mine on a regular basis.

    Of course there’s always my iPhone. But if you think I can post on that thing then you have seriously overestimated my manual dexterity.

    Y’all have a great day and I’ll be back when my computer has been liberated from the Apple Store.

  • This, that, and my hair

    Earlier today I was trying to figure out what on earth I could write about because, while our weekend was lovely and peaceful and serene, it was also very uneventful. And then I realized I had a few things to share but lacked the energy or the inclination to put them into any sort of narrative format. Thus, the following list was born.

    1. I tried the baking soda on my hair and it worked like a charm. A charm I tell you. My hair had tons of volume and curled the way I wanted it to and the whole thing. It was absolutely perfect until I walked outside in the 100% humidity and it ruined it all. But that’s not the baking soda’s fault.

    2. After much deliberation, I ended up buying a bottle of Amplify shampoo. I nearly went with Pureology because of all the love in the comments from last week, but it seemed to be geared more towards women that color their hair and I don’t color my hair. Yet.

    As of now, my method of removing gray hair is to pluck them out with my tweezers. However, I think my hairline is beginning to recede so it may be time to reconsider the whole hair color thing.

    So I bought Amplify since it seems to offer what I’m looking for, maximum volume. I also bought some Moroccan Oil and loved the way it made my hair feel. I’ll keep you posted on my thoughts after I’ve had a chance to see how my hair does when humidity isn’t a factor. Rumor has it there’s a cold front coming through on Wednesday and temps will PLUMMET to the mid-70’s.

    3. On Friday night, P and I ended up watching Pretty Woman because there was nothing else on. I mentioned several times how I just absolutely coveted Julia’s hair and wardrobe in that entire movie back in 1990. (The brown polka dot dress? The orange walking shorts ensemble when she and Kit are talking by the pool at the Reg Bev Wil? Oh did I long for those outfits.) And then I said, “I think there were times I succeeded in getting my hair that big.”

    P responded, “I think there were times you exceeded getting your hair that big.”

    Well played, P. Well played.

    4. Caroline and P went fishing again on Saturday. Here’s a little video of her with her fish if you’re interested.

    Catfish from Big Mama on Vimeo.

    In case you were wondering, P left his big hat at home.

    Also, a few of you asked about the ranch last time. It’s a piece of property that belongs to P’s godfather and he lets us go down there whenever we want. I just wanted to clarify in case you had visions of us being like the Ewings with crystal decanters full of whiskey and outwitting Cliff Barnes every time he tries to take over our oil company.

    5. I bought a bunch of fruit at the store yesterday in the hopes that I’ll actually, you know, eat it instead of a Hostess Cupcake next time I want a snack. I’ll let you know how that goes. The problem with oranges is their lack of chocolate with creme filling.

    Y’all have a great day.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition all you need is an Easter bonnet

    So Gulley and I were talking about a variety of topics yesterday, everything from our favorite contestant on American Idol to the American involvement in Libya. Because we pride ourselves on being well-rounded.

    (In case you’re wondering, Paul McDonald is my favorite on Idol right now. He just has that whole quirky, raspy-voiced thing going on that I adore. Also, Gulley and I got really tickled because one of the kids in her pre-school class told her he loved American Idol because that funny-looking grandma always says hilarious things. The funny-looking grandma would be Steven Tyler. I’m not sure that’s the look he’s going for.)

    Anyway, one of the things we discussed was how late Easter falls this year. It’s April 24th for those of you playing along at home and that is WAY LATE compared to all Easters in my recent memory. Our discussion led us to this question: if it’s already 90 degrees outside but Easter isn’t until April 24th, when is it okay to wear white pants?

    I’m not as concerned about white shoes because I fundamentally don’t believe in white shoes for females over the age of ten. Don’t hassle me about it. It’s just a personal opinion.

    And I realize that we are living in 2011 and people really have bigger concerns (like Libya) than when to wear white pants. I am aware we live in a world where people wear white pants all year round. I just need to know that my great-grandmother won’t be turning over in her grave if I decide to break out the white jeans sometime around mid-April instead of waiting until the day after Easter.

    Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

    Speaking of Easter, I thought it might be fun to look at some good options for Easter attire today. If you don’t agree with me, please don’t let me know. It took me a long time to find ten dresses I actually liked.

    They just don’t make them like Leslie Lucks used to with big sailor collars that require you to turn sideways when you walk through a doorway.

    1. sunny soiree dress

    As usual, Anthropologie has my heart. And, honestly, this dress is pretty reasonable for Anthropologie who generally likes to charge you $300 and the right to name your first born child.

    2. jaquard party dress

    I’m always looking for anything besides a floral print because I struggle with floral prints. I love that this is bright and feminine without flowers.

    3. square neck matte jersey dress

    Love the colors and I bet it’s so dang comfortable.

    4. bell sleeve paisley empire waist dress

    I really love the hot pink and black together and this style of dress is usually flattering on everyone.

    5. brilliant in bolds floral skirt

    What? A skirt? For Easter? MADNESS.

    But how cute would this be with a pretty shrunken yellow cardigan? Very Betty Draper.

    6. flounced mocha dress

    This is definitely non-traditional but I really like it.

    7. hot pink sleeveless with flared skirt

    Love the hot pink. I think it would be darling with some turquoise accents to spice it up.

    8. yellow sleeveless printed dress

    See? Another bright, pretty dress with no flowers.

    9. terazzo tunic

    I love this tunic and it would be great paired with some white skinny, cropped pants. Plus you could wear it all summer long.

    I’m also a big fan of this ibiza tunic. Might be cute worn over cropped leggings with some pretty bejeweled sandals.

    10. macaron making tunic

    You can’t go wrong with a pretty top. I really like this one. Or maybe something like this printed ruffle top which is about as close to a floral print as I’ll ever get.

    BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE.

    Here are a few cute dresses for little girls I’ve found in my search for Caroline’s Easter dress.

    1. vintage dress

    I love these vintage dresses from Boden. Caroline nixed this one though because she’s trying to kill me.

    2. kissing kumquats knot dress

    I adore this. ADORE. Just so cute and they come in some many fabric combinations.

    3. blue church flowers knot dress and peasant pants

    There again, I love this. But Caroline would rather kick the Easter bunny than put on anything this ruffly at this point in her life. However, if she were three years old, this would have been a contender.

    4. eyelet pillowcase dress with monogram

    I’ve always loved pillowcase dresses. Just so old-fashioned and pretty.

    5. pink striped with ruffle

    I love this. And I would love it more with a big monogrammed “C” on the front.

    That’s it for today.

    Y’all have a great Friday.

  • I’m hair to say thanks with a giveaway (aka cheesiest title ever)

    Listen.

    Not that I have ever, EVER, questioned how much I love y’all, but, if I ever had, the passionate and lengthy responses left in answer to yesterday’s post about hair care reaffirmed that I adore every single one of you.

    Now I just need to figure out how to try all the various suggestions without going bankrupt. And I’m definitely trying the baking soda thing tomorrow morning because I already have baking soda in my cabinet so total score on that. In addition, many of y’all helped me solidify some goals I had for myself in terms of securing some Moroccan Oil. I’d actually tried to buy some at Sephora several months ago but they had no idea what I was talking about and tried to sell me on what was certainly a lesser oil.

    Nice try, Sephora, but I’m nobody’s hair care patsy.

    As for the rest, I think I’ll go to Ulta tomorrow and perform a sight, see, and smell of all your recommendations. I’m sure it will take at least thirty minutes before they contemplate calling security to escort me from the premises.

    Anyway, I want to say thank you. And what better way to say thank you than a little giveaway? Especially when there happens to be something I love SO MUCH right now that I would love to share it with the world and teach the world to sing in perfect harmony and buy the world a coke and keep it company.

    That’s why I’ve decided to give away FIVE FREE DOWNLOADS of the new Passion – Here For You CD from the Passion 2011 conference.

    I downloaded it last week and have listened to it nonstop ever since. It has become one of my top three CD’s of all time. Seriously.

    I felt so passionate about it (Get it? Passionate? I’m so lame.) that I posted about it on Facebook and the Twitter. Which inspired Sophie to download it yesterday and she emailed me and said, “This is SO GOOD. It’s the kind of CD everyone ought to listen to because it’s just that good. Do you think we ought to give away some downloads of it?”

    (Disclaimer: I’m not sure that is a verbatim quote. But it’s the gist.)

    And I responded and said, “YES. THAT IS BRILLIANT. I WANT TO JUMP ON THAT BANDWAGON.”

    (There again, the gist.)

    And that is how the whole thing came into being. I am not being paid or compensated or given free CDs or a pet monkey in return for this. This is just from my heart because I love y’all.

    (I just wanted to clarify for any FCC or FBI or CIA types that might be reading.)

    So, here’s what you need to do for a chance to win:

    1. Leave a comment on this post.

    2. One comment per person please. Duplicate comments will be deleted.

    3. This is for the download only. Not the actual physical CD because that gets into shipping and what not.

    4. I will close comments Sunday evening and use Random.org to draw five winners.

    5. Winners will be notified by email and I’ll send you what you need.

    Have a lovely day.

    Edited to add: Here are the random numbers.

    Here are your random numbers:

    15 167 54 152 206
    Timestamp: 2011-03-31 13:46:45 UTC