Author: Big Mama

  • Yes, this is about my hair

    I didn’t even discuss my sadness over this season of The Bachelor coming to an end. I guess it’s because the reality of it didn’t hit me until Monday night when I didn’t have the joy of listening to Brad Womack use his super robot voice to terribly abuse adverbs. Badly.

    My loss was amplified by the fact that Gulley and I watched most of last week’s finale with Nena, who had never experienced anything like The Bachelor in her entire life. HONEY, ARE YOU TELLING ME BOTH OF THOSE GIRLS THINK HE’S ABOUT TO PROPOSE? I’VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH. I CAN’T STAND TO WATCH ANYMORE! WAIT, TELL ME ABOUT THIS CUTE BLONDE. WHAT DOES HER MOTHER THINK OF HER BEING ON THIS SHOW?

    The inquiry about the mother is a signature Nena question. No matter the situation she always wants to know what someone’s mother thinks.

    So my Tuesday morning wasn’t as bright without all the Bachelor recaps and whatnot waiting for me on the internet. But I have found solace in Bethenny Ever After because it really personifies all that is good and right about reality television.

    On an entirely different note, I’m struggling with my hair. I realize this will come as no shock to anyone who’s been reading here for longer than five minutes. I did a whole wash, blow-dry, hot-roll thing yesterday and, thanks to the wind and the humidity, it lasted all of thirty-two seconds once I stepped outside. I also experimented with blow-drying my bangs to the opposite side and then sweeping them over to their normal side because I’d heard that this creates the perfect side-swept bang. Maybe on some people. On me it created some bangs that just wanted to stick up like a gang of unruly children all day long.

    As if all this wasn’t enough, I have reason to believe my current shampoo is no longer working for me. I’d had my suspicions, but then I lamented to Gulley last week about how my hair seems to be getting dirtier much faster than usual. I can usually go three days without washing my hair. Sometimes even four if I sport some sort of messy ponytail or bun on the fourth day. Please hold your judgement about my hair-washing frequency. It works for me.

    But lately it seems that my hair feels a little dirty and lifeless by day two, which has historically been known as my best hair day. Gulley has been using the same shampoo and conditioner I have and she said she’s noticed the same thing. Then while I was in Bryan I used whatever shampoo happened to be in the shower and it seemed like old times between my hair and me.

    Yesterday afternoon I perused the hair care aisle at HEB and tried desperately to make an educated shampoo/conditioner/product decision. But I couldn’t commit. I realize I asked about hair products several years ago, but the times they are a changin’ and time makes you bolder, children get older and I’m getting older, too.

    (Did I just veer off for a minute?)

    So help me, o wise internet friends. What shampoo/conditioner/hair care products do you recommend? Keep in mind that while I am willing to spend upwards of tens of dollars, I can’t wash my hair in any sort of liquid gold.

    My hair and I thank you in advance.

  • When June freezes over

    It was back to the real world for us yesterday. Alarm clocks and picking out school clothes and OH THE HUMANITY WHY IS IT STILL DARK OUTSIDE? It hit me like a kick in the pants. Fortunately Caroline was ready to go and energized by the prospect that there are only fifty more school days until summer.

    After I dropped her off at school, I came home and played mental gymnastics with myself to find some sort of motivation to resume my Couch to 5K program. Yes, I realize this has been the longest journey ever from the couch to a 5k, but I keep getting sidetracked by things like illnesses, school vacations and remembering that I really don’t enjoy running. However, the warm weather and the spring flowers are taunting me with the reality that it’s only a matter of about one month before I’ll be in a swimsuit.

    Which is also why I ate a healthy lunch of couscous and veggies while thinking about cheeseburgers and crispy taco plates and all the foods that taste better than vegetables.

    On a side note, one of my friends has been seeing a doctor about some thyroid issues and the doctor has been on her about her diet. She asked if she ate any vegetables and my friend responded that she eats carrots. The doctor informed her that carrots should be considered a RECREATIONAL vegetable only. Why would anyone want to eat a carrot for recreational purposes? Isn’t that what Hostess Cupcakes are for?

    I spent most of day catching up on all the things I neglected over Spring Break so I’ll spare you most of the details because do you really want to know the intricacies of me paying our cell phone bill? But I did finally get Caroline signed up for a week of day camp this summer which I’d been meaning to do before all the sessions filled up. P came home to work on some landscape bids and I told him I signed her up. He asked what the total cost was and I told him the price included the shuttle service to and from camp every day. (Sadly, it’s more than $15.00)

    He agreed it was a good price and totally worth it since she loved it so much last year. Then he laughingly suggested that one of our friends who works out that way could just drive her back and forth every day. I said that would make the whole thing about 1,000 times more enjoyable because it would eliminate the whole bus ride with no air-conditioning unless you count the breeze from the rolled down windows. Which I don’t. And he looked at me incredulously and said, “That’s one of the best parts of the camp experience. The fact that you don’t like it speaks volumes about your personality.”

    Umm…sorry. Clearly I am a freak of nature. Who doesn’t enjoy riding on a bus with no air-conditioning in June? Yes. I’m the weird one.

    Anyway, while P and I were debating the joys to be found in riding on a hot bus and how it relates to a complete camp experience, he happened to glance at our front door and notice the piece of plywood that still resides where we are supposed to have a piece of beveled glass. A piece of beveled glass that was broken by our door guy during installation and promised to be replaced, oh, about six weeks ago. And then six weeks before that. And then maybe six weeks before that.

    We’ve gotten so used to the piece of plywood and the extra-classy touch it adds to the living room that we occasionally forget that we are still in need of a piece of glass. Not to mention the fact that I’ve called Door Guy enough times on my cell phone that I’m about 97% sure it’s on a list of numbers he no longer answers. The same can be said of our home phone.

    However, we haven’t really called him using P’s cell phone, otherwise known as our ace in the hole, so there was decent chance he might answer P’s call. Sure enough, Door Guy answered.

    P reminded him who we were and that we’d been waiting on a piece of glass for our front door since sometime in early November. We also needed some weather-stripping he’d said he would install when he came back with the glass. P was very polite and inquired if maybe there had been some problem with the glass and could we please get on his schedule to get the weather-stripping done since the weather is really starting to heat up and we’d hate to duck tape the whole thing to keep in the bought air like we did this winter. (P didn’t actually say the part of the duck tape and the bought air. I added that.)

    The truth is P tends to be much nicer than me when dealing with these types of issues. People who know us in real life probably find that hard to believe because I appear to be nicer when the truth is that I’m biting the inside of my lip until my eyes start to bleed and a sarcastic comment comes shooting out of my mouth. P is usually more patient when dealing with service problems and saves most of his anger and frustration for inanimate objects that don’t work they way he thinks they should.

    P hung up the phone and told me Door Guy apologized for the delay but explained there had been some problems finding the glass. Well, sure. Because we live in a major metropolitan area and I’m sure no one in town knows how to make a piece of beveled glass. (See? Sarcastic comment. Shooting out.)

    He said he’d get us on his schedule and come by in the next few days to install the weather-stripping. And then I believe he promptly hung up and added P’s cell number to his list of DO NOT ANSWER numbers.

    I hope I’m wrong. But if I were a betting kind of girl, I’d say the chances of us ever seeing Door Guy again rank up there with the odds of me riding a school bus in June for the fun of it.

    ***Edited to add that OKAY, I GET IT. IT’S DUCT TAPE. I was tired, it was late and I lost the entire post the first time I tried to save it. But I’m leaving it as “duck” because it makes me happy.

  • If you give a cat a camera

    You have no idea how much I am struggling with what to write about since there is no way I can make a weekend spent cleaning my house, sorting my laundry and reading a book sound interesting. I’m not a word Jedi.

    I don’t even know what I mean by word Jedi. I just know we’ve watched A LOT of Star Wars here over the last four days. In fact, you could say we’re in full-blown obsession mode.

    On Friday morning, we watched Star Wars. Again. Actually Caroline watched it while I laid in bed next to her and slept a little bit longer. Which is why the end of Spring Break is going to kill us all. Eventually we got up and tried to figure out what to do with our day. Sadly, all of her friends ended up leaving town at the end of Spring Break instead of while we were gone. This caused much sorrowing and pain and complete amnesia about all the fun we’d had at the beginning of the week.

    Ultimately we ended up going to see Mars Needs Moms. The popcorn was delicious and the movie was okay. I thought it had potential to be better and I was a little creeped out by the thought of Martians abducting mothers in their sleep, especially since I am a mother. However, I don’t believe in Martians so I guess it’ll be okay. It was also one of those movies where the animation is so realistic that you forget you’re watching fake people and then you occasionally remember and it freaks you out that you totally forgot they were computerized and you wonder if it’s all part of some vast government conspiracy to replace humans.

    Or maybe that’s just me.

    Saturday morning Caroline hopped out of bed and announced she wanted to go fishing at the ranch. So I did the only thing to be done in that situation and said, “Go tell your Daddy”. About thirty minutes later the truck was loaded with fishing poles, assorted snack foods, the dogs and my peeps as they headed south with hopes of catching some big catfish.

    I also threw the camera in the backpack so they could take a few pictures. When I went to upload the pics last night, here is a sampling of what I found.

    I immediately suspected that Toonces had gotten ahold of the camera. And my suspicions were confirmed when I saw that she’d taken the liberty of recording some video of herself. When I asked her about it, she said, “I thought it would be nice for the people on the blog”.

    The Ranch Trip Project from Big Mama on Vimeo.

    Well sure.

    (I’d like to add that it makes me so happy that she pronounces “shrimp” like “strimpt” just like my great-aunt Fina)

    Thankfully, P was able to get the camera while Toonces was catching fish and was able to document the catch of the day.

    I feel that those pictures illustrate why I prefer to believe that catfish magically appear on a plate with a side of hushpuppies.

    Because, yuck.

    But that smile on her face? That’s a keeper.

  • Fashion Friday: edition it’s spring break

    We stayed in our pajamas until sometime after the crack of noon here yesterday and I didn’t even feel bad about it. Especially because Caroline was totally content to lie in bed and watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, which could be one of the worst movies ever. And I say that as someone who has sat through multiple viewings of assorted Care Bears movies.

    Eventually we made it to the library to return some books and to HEB to buy some food. And then we came home, put our pajamas back on, ate dinner and watched the original Star Wars. Caroline had never seen it and I wasn’t really thrilled, but as it turns out I understood the plot line much better than I did the last time I saw it back in 1978.

    I also found that I still wished for Princess Leia’s hair. And maybe even her white dress.

    1. to have and to hold jersey dress

    A reader named AngAK (I’m guessing that stands for Angie from Alaska, but I could be wrong.) left a comment on yesterday’s post that Tracy Porter is offering 50% off all clothing (even sale items) and free shipping. The bad news is the sale ends this morning at 8:00 a.m. central time. SO HURRY.

    I am totally in love with the dress up above, but I also adore this modern english country skirt or the belle de jour dress or this apostle island dress.

    Basically I adore it all.

    2. traces of love tiered maxi

    The maxi dress is big again this year. I love this one and it also comes in a lovely pale pink.

    3. cole street flat top

    I realize I feature some sort of white blouse every week but that’s because I see a new one that I like every week.

    4. michael antonio gaelle

    I’m on the search for the right pair of nude wedge heels for summer. These could be like Marlon Brando. That is to say, they could be a contender.

    5. flutter sleeve crewneck tee

    I haven’t seen this in person so I have a few questions about the volume of those sleeves and the actual fit of the shirt. However, it appears to have promise.

    6. wash board trousers

    I’m always looking for an alternative to a pair of shorts.

    7. gathered posies sandals

    Love these.

    8. magic carpet stride sandals

    And these come in an array of colors.

    9. tropical tribe earrings

    These are so bright and fun. Would add a good pop to any outfit.

    10. striped drop-waist dress

    Haven’t seen this in person because I’ve been busy traversing the state of Texas or at least the roads between San Antonio, College Station and Houston, but it appears to be cute.

    That’s it for today.

    Y’all have a good Friday.

  • This is my spring break

    Top o’ the morning to you.

    That’s my nod to the fact that it’s St. Patrick’s Day even though I’m not Irish and there’s a better than 50% chance I won’t remember to wear anything green.

    We finally arrived home in San Antonio late yesterday afternoon after spending the morning at the downtown aquarium in Houston. Here’s a free tip: The key to a pleasant aquarium experience is to show up about fifteen minutes before they open. We were almost the only ones there and it was perfection.

    As soon as we got out of our car yesterday we noticed our entire yard smells like a divine slice of heaven thanks to all the spring flowers in bloom. Sometimes being married to a landscaper pays off.

    After she took some time to smell the flowers, Caroline immediately asked if she could have a friend come over. I said no because I value my sanity and am in dire need of about twenty-four hours of downtime. But I told her she could look forward to tomorrow because we have big Spring Break plans to go to HEB and buy things like food and toilet paper.

    She tried to act like she wasn’t excited.

    Anyway, right now I have got to get in bed and rest up. We have a big day of grocery shopping ahead of us.

    I’ll be back tomorrow with Fashion Friday.

  • Houston means that I’m one day closer to you or home or whatever

    Before I talk about whatever it is I’m going to talk about today, I kind of want to throw out a disclaimer. I’m not even sure that disclaimer is the right word, but let’s go with it. I really struggle with what to write after any sort of huge natural disaster has occurred. On the one hand, I feel like we all need a few moments of levity, but on the other hand I would never want to appear cold-hearted or like I’m not incredibly saddened by everything that is going on in Japan right now. Truthfully, I hadn’t watched much footage until last night because we’ve been with the kids non-stop and haven’t had a chance to see many of the images. It’s heartbreaking. I know it probably goes without saying, but let’s all continue to pray for the people of Japan.

    And remember that just because I’m talking about nonsense doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about the bigger picture.

    With that being said, I’m sure you will all be fascinated to know that I bought a new power cord for my Mac today. It had been a long time coming, but when I realized my existing power cord was officially in two pieces there was no denying that it was a safety hazard even though I could technically get it to work if I wrapped it just right in masking tape and jiggled it periodically while it was plugged in, I knew it was time to pony up at the Apple store.

    The only problem is that it’s zero fun to walk into the Apple store (two days after the release of the iPad 2) to just buy a power cord. It’s like buying a new bra. Or renting a shovel. It’s practical. And boring. And doesn’t come with a 17-inch screen and a shiny new keyboard with no brownie crumbs buried in its depths.

    (Oh to be able to make a smooth transition right here.)

    Caroline and I are in Houston now. We wrapped up our time in Bryan with a trip to the bowling alley. A trip where I managed to keep my score under 30 after a full seven frames of bowling. Had we been playing golf, it would have been a stellar score. But instead I got trounced by everyone, especially Will who came in first with a score of 128. He said, “Mel, you are really bad at bowling. I’m beating you half to death.”

    On a positive note, while I don’t really advocate the denim jacket with the denim jeans for everyone, Caroline was rocking a denim on denim ensemble.

    I think I had that exact outfit in 1978. Except I had Luv-it jeans with a patch on the back that read “FOXY”. Totally appropriate for a seven year old.

    She was also very enthusiastic about her game.

    But all good things must come to an end. We had to say goodbye to the boys. There were a few tears and Will declared, “Everything is funner with Caroline”. Gulley and I were sad it was over but agreed it’s always a good thing when we leave with all of us wanting more instead of with declarations of “YOU’RE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY ANYMORE!” Ultimately, I always end up inviting Gulley to my birthday party.

    Caroline and I drove to Houston and met up with Mimi, Bops, Amy and Sarah. Our hotel rooms weren’t ready yet so everyone hopped in the stay wag and we headed out for a quick bite to eat. Which is when Sarah got carsick in the back of the car. The saving grace was the 44 oz styrofoam cup rolling around in my back seat. God has placed many children in my life with weak stomachs. I believe it’s to teach me compassion and the importance of always having an empty, disposable receptacle in my vehicle.

    After we ate lunch, we agreed it would be better for me to sit in the way back of the stay wag with Caroline. Which was when I discovered that it is extremely uncomfortable to sit in the way back if you’re over four and a half feet tall. Plus, it’s so awkward because I could never figure out if I was supposed to make eye contact with the cars behind us or just look away. It also didn’t help that driving in Houston brings out the side of Bops that makes him feel that traffic is a competition.

    Our initial plan was to go to the downtown aquarium. But we pulled up and realized half of Houston had the same idea so we left and went to the Children’s Museum to hang out with the other half of Houston.

    The girls had a great time, but I could have benefited from some sort of prescription medication. It was enough to turn me into a raging agoraphobic.

    After being herded around with the crowd and possibly contracting a communicable disease, we went to my happy place.

    The Galleria.

    Bops hung out with the girls while they waited in a forty minute line to bungee jump and Mimi, Amy and I walked around to do a little shopping.

    We walked past Zara and Dior and all manner of beautiful shops until we reached the Apple store. Where I bought a power cord and composed a sonnet about the shiny 17-inch Macbook Pro.

    Tomorrow we will head back to San Antonio to make sure P hasn’t forgotten about us and possibly try to come up with more Spring Break fun.

    I’m thinking a nap sounds perfect.