Author: Big Mama

Edition 57: Fashion Friday

Okay, so remember how last Friday I showed you how Caroline had decided to organize her closet using a Sharpie marker? And y’all were sweet enough to tell me how to get the marker off? But then I told you that I adore the marker because it will make me smile every time I see “Witt!” and “Sring!”?

Well, by noon last Friday, the nice folks at Sharpie had emailed me and offered to send me one of their fancy new stainless steel Sharpies to try. Who’s going to turn that down? A dang fool, that’s who.

So yesterday my fancy new Sharpie showed up via FedEx and it is delightful. It’s like a sophisticated Sharpie and if there is anything I crave in my life more than chips and queso, it’s sophistication. That’s the whole reason I read “US Weekly”.

Anyway, I’d just like to say WELL DONE SHARPIE HEADQUARTERS.

About a year ago, I made it a personal challenge to link to Anthropologie as much as possible with the hopes that they might send me perhaps a single dishtowel. A dishtowel. My expectations could not be lower. But Anthropologie never calls; they never write. It’s like coming home from summer camp all over again.

But yet the folks at Sharpie found me without even a direct link to guide them. They are like the CIA of corporate America and I applaud them.

I also applaud my new stainless steel Sharpie which I will keep on a very high shelf because it is my precious.

Now for some questions:

1. Rachel asks: “At what point are you too old to shop in the Juniors/Misses?”

I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I get there. I always think it’s a score when you can find something (especially trendy items) in the Juniors department because it’s usually less expensive than the clothes for grown-ups.

It’s not so much about age as it is about body type and how clothes fit your body. It also depends on the store because some department stores have better Junior departments than others. I’ve had luck finding cute things like these in the Nordstrom Junior department, but I probably won’t be buying clothing with the brand name “L8ter” any time soon.

Nor will I revisit Esprit.

The important thing to remember is that you’re going to wear a bigger size in Junior clothing than you do in other things and that’s okay. Your self-esteem shouldn’t be tied to a number on a tag. It should be tied to how good your hair looks.

And also remember that there comes a time when it’s better to leave some trends to the teenagers because it’s a right of passage to wear clothing that will make you look back at your high school pictures and cry.

2. Lilah asks: “What kind of sock do you wear with a shoe like this? Do you wear those half sock thingies or tights or no socks? If it’s no socks, how do you keep your feet and your shoes from being stinky

You can wear half sock thingies only if they don’t show. Tights if it’s really cold.

Other than that, I have to go with no socks.

The stinky feet question is a good one and is also why you will never see me wearing flats when the weather gets warm. My suggestion is to sprinkle the shoes with a little baking soda. I have no idea if it will actually help, but I felt like I needed to offer some type of suggestion and it works for my refrigerator.

I just like to throw out all kinds of unsubstantiated advice. It’s essentially the entire basis of Fashion Friday.

3. Anne asks: “I need a denim skirt. What color denim for summer? Can you wear a dark rinse year round? And would you do a pencil skirt, or A-line?”

I would love nothing more than to find a great denim skirt, but it has proved to be my fashion nemesis. I just can’t ever find exactly what I’m looking for and so I go without. That is my tale of denim woe.

However, I did see this skirt in the Boden catalog and think it’s darling, although those pockets might be better in theory.

I also saw this denim pencil skirt which looks so cute on the model with a tucked in shirt and belt. Do you know how often I’d wear a tucked in shirt with a belt in the summertime? Exactly never times.

That’s all for today because I have to finish packing for my trip. It’s like trying to stuff an elephant in a shoebox.

Laissez les Bon Temps Roulez, y’all. (I know Hebrew and Cajun. Sophisticated is the word you’re looking for.)

Here’s Mr. Linky if you have anything to add.
Now with 50% more random at no extra charge!

Is it just me or is Wednesday night the worst night of television all week long? Oh, I know there are a bunch of you who watch “Lost”, but that convoluted ship passed me by about three years ago. And, yes, there’s always the “American Idol” results show, but Seacrest kills me with all his drama.

Dude, it’s just a talent competition, not something important like the Showcase Showdown on “The Price is Right”.

Anyway, none of that is really the issue here. Consider it foreshadowing for all the nonsense that’s to come.

Over the last few days, a couple of questions have come up that I wanted to answer. Not to mention the fact that I can’t really come up with anything else to write about.

1. Many of you asked how I know Beth Moore. The short version is that I became friends with her daughter, Amanda, through the wonder that is the internet. We’d read each other’s blogs for about a year and finally got to meet in person at a Deeper Still event in Atlanta last summer when I was there to write for the Allaccess blog.

Since then, we’ve seen each other from time to time if we happen to be in the same city and have become real life friends, not just nerdy computer friends.

So, going out to dinner with Beth isn’t a regular occurrence. In fact, that’s the only time it’s ever happened. Although she does call me CONSTANTLY when she needs someone to translate a Biblical reference to the original Hebrew.

If my twenty-year-old self could read that last sentence she would die a little because how did I become a person who makes dorky Bible study jokes?

Truth be told, I don’t know any Hebrew. Except “shalom, y’all”.

2. The other question was about the ribbons on my front door.

That is a Fiesta wreath. There is a big celebration every year in April called Fiesta. It involves lots of parades and people dressing up as faux royalty and riding in police-escorted caravans all over town so they can blaze through stoplights like they’re on their way to a medical emergency as opposed to visiting a local preschool to hand out medals to a group of people who aren’t even potty-trained.

Anyway, you see these wreaths everywhere in San Antonio. Many of them have all sorts of little things tucked in them like a tiny Mariachi band that plays “Guantanamera”, but I chose to go with something more simple.

If you can call something covered in multi-colored ribbons and flowers that are bigger than my head, simple.

And I believe that concludes the question-answering portion of this post, but I have an idea.

If you have any other questions that you’ve ever wanted to ask, leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer some of them at some point next week, or maybe never depending on how I feel and what the questions are.

I’ll even tell you what I weigh. In my dreams.

Also, I’m heading to New Orleans this weekend so if you have any restaurant recommendations, feel free to share.

And thus concludes a post that makes even less sense than “Lost”.
A tale of tails

From the moment the pregnancy test turned positive, I wanted to have a daughter. There were so many reasons I wanted a baby girl, not the least of which was styling her hair into pigtails everyday.

It wasn’t until her first birthday that the dream was realized. I combed and sprayed that baby fine hair into two sad little pigtails for her party because we were going to need something to hold that tiara in place.

It took a while to get them to resemble real pigtails.

But then the day came that they actually looked like a real hairstyle.

And from then on, I’d put her hair in pigtails any time she’d sit still long enough for me to get those Goody rubber bands in her hair.

I bought bows in sets of two in every color of the rainbow to ensure that we’d always have perfectly accessorized pigtails.

Because there just isn’t anything cuter than that.

Alas, the day came about a year ago when she started to resist the pigtails. She’d feel me run that comb down the middle of her head and say “NO PIGTAILS TODAY!”

So the singular ponytail became the style of choice, alternated with the occasional braid. I’ve mourned the pigtails because I felt like they were gone before I had a chance to say goodbye. I put a lot of my heart and hairspray into them over the course of four years and they just went away.

Yesterday morning, I went into Caroline’s room armed with a brush and some rubberbands and asked, “How do you want your hair today? A braid? A ponytail?”

Then just to mess with her, I said, “Pigtails?”

She said, “Yes. Pigtails.”

And I fell over.

I have never parted hair and secured it in pigtails faster than I did at that moment because I just knew she’d change her mind. When it was all finished, I looked at her and wanted to cry.

But instead, I just savored the pigtails.

Because it won’t be long before they’re gone for good.
Sea Monkeys, puppets and tortillas, otherwise known as a regular Friday night

Last Friday, I picked Caroline up from school a little early and we hit the open road to Houston. Well, first we stopped for a haircut and iced sugar cookies. But not at the same place. Although how awesome would that be to get your hair cut at a place that serves delicious iced cookies?

After Caroline got her hair cut and had acquired a box of sugar cookies for the road, we headed out on I-10 to Houston. It’s the roadway equivalent to watching paint dry. I knew we were in trouble about fifteen minutes into the three hour trip when Caroline started in with the whole “How much longer?” routine.

I’ll tell you how much longer. Long enough that Mama may stop in Schulenberg, Texas and put you on a Trailways bus.

Oh, you know I would never actually do that. I would totally let her go Greyhound.

It didn’t help matters that the portable DVD player decided to start acting wonky and shutting itself off. I was particularly irritated because I’d made a special trip to the Disney House of Crack prior to the trip to buy “Bolt” on DVD for a little in-car entertainment. It was a complete media fail.

It’s probably how the Ingalls family felt when they crossed the frontier in search of a prairie where they could build a little house.

I had to resort to the car game of my childhood, the Alphabet game. However, it proved a little difficult because cows grazing in pastures rarely hold up any type of signage.

Anyway, we finally arrived in Houston and checked in at the Summerfield Suites, otherwise known as the hotel for royalty. I hear it’s where Queen Elizabeth is staying next time she’s in the U.S. because she loves herself a good complimentary breakfast and a kitchenette with a mini-fridge. It reminds her of spending the summer at Balmoral Castle.

After a few jumps back and forth between the beds, we loaded back up in the car to meet some friends for dinner at a place called Lupey Tortilla. I had never heard of Lupey or her tortilla, but after experiencing it for myself I will tell you that Lupey doesn’t play around.

The tortillas are bigger than the human head.

In fact, the tortillas are bigger than Beth Moore’s hair. Look how I know.

That is a seriously anointed tortilla.

Caroline and I got to eat dinner with Amanda, Beth, and Annabeth (she doesn’t have her own blog yet) and just had the best time.

I will forever regret that I didn’t take the time to put on some lipstick before we took this picture. Between the Houston humidity and my apparent lack of makeup, I don’t know that I’ve ever looked worse. I should’ve followed Amanda’s lead and avoided the camera.

It was a great time, even though there were a few times that I felt like I was doing the “Chris Farley Show” with Beth.

“Remember that time you wrote that Bible study about Esther and she was a queen? Yeah, that was awesome.”

“Remember that time you talked about King David’s life? Did you come up with that? Oh, it’s in the Bible? Awesome.”

Idiot.

The highlight of the night (other than the fact that I’m pretty sure Z.Z. Top was sitting behind us) was when we walked out to the car and Beth told us she had something to show Caroline. She ran to her car and, about a minute later, I see a puppet pop up from behind a car. It was an Esther puppet that someone sent Beth.

Caroline adored the Esther puppet. She thought it was the greatest thing she’d ever seen, especially when Beth showed her how it could give hugs.

I think she was trying to open her eyes as wide as Esther’s in that picture. Not an easy task when you’re a human and competing with a puppet who has no biological need to blink.

Caroline and I went back to Amanda’s house for a while and visited. I always love spending time with Amanda because she is just so sweet and funny. We got to hold little Annabeth and it made my ovaries hurt more than a little.

Doesn’t Caroline look sweet holding that baby? (Wait, P! Come back! At least finish reading the post!)

But for Caroline, the best was yet to come. Amanda had a little gift for her.

Sea Monkeys.

And not just any sea monkeys, but sea monkeys that come with a friendship locket so you can wear them around your neck.

That is the gift that keeps on giving. At least until someone forgets to put the locket back on right and spills sea monkeys all over Mama’s rug.

Here’s hoping that scenario doesn’t play out for the sake of the sea monkeys and me.

Eventually we said goodbye to Esther the puppet, Amanda, and Annabeth, and headed back to our hotel that was made “for royalty!” to jump on the beds a few more times.

Too bad Queen Esther couldn’t come with us. She would have fit right in.
The winner of the scarf giveaway

Thanks so much for participating in the scarf giveaway. I loved reading which scarf each of you would choose and am also forever grateful for all the Sharpie removal techniques.

However, I’m leaving the Sharpie labels because they make me laugh and it’s just a closet. C’est la storage or whatever.

Here are the results from Random.org:

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

341
Timestamp: 2009-03-30 20:08:15 UTC

The winner is Kelli who loved the brown scarf with a gmail address. Email me at [email protected] with your address and I’ll make sure you get the scarf of your choice!
I believe I can fly

Caroline and I took a little road trip to Houston this weekend to attend Vicki Courtney’s “You and Your Girl” event for the Allaccess blog.

When we arrived at our hotel room on Friday afternoon, Caroline took in the grandeur of the Hyatt Summerfield Suites, sighed a deep, contented sigh, and said, “This place is like for ROYALTY!”

And that was even before she discovered that the double beds in our room were placed close enough for her to jump from bed to bed.

The whole weekend was an abundance of riches.

And I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow when I’m not so tired and can form coherent paragraphs and sentence structure.