Another day

The gap in my life

You know how you have those times that are so busy and you get off your normal routine but you assume everything will be exactly like you left it once life slows down again?

That’s what I used to think too.

Until I realized yesterday that the Gap store right by my house has been boarded up for reasons of which I am unaware.

I’m hoping that it’s just some sort of renovation thing going on because the thought of having to drive all the way to the mall like in ye olden days to go to Gap is more than I can bear. And, truthfully, that could serve to signal the end of my relationship with Gap.

There was a time in my life that I couldn’t live without Gap and there was no distance far enough to cause my love to fade. In the early 90’s I bought a pair of long plaid walking shorts there that, when paired with a denim shirt and a Brighton belt, created the perfect outfit. It was the only place I used to buy my jeans and I still own an old Gap plaid flannel shirt that once belonged to Gulley.

But over the years Gap has become hit or miss to me. There have been many times that I’ve mentally composed a letter to them while in the store looking around.

Dear Gap, Quit trying to make elbow patches happen.

Dear Gap, Why do you insist on putting awkward pockets on what would otherwise be a perfect skirt?

Dear Gap, Are you smoking crack? I don’t even know if this is a dress or a shirt.

Dear Gap, You are out of your mind if you think I’m going to pay $49.98 for a sweater that already pilled up while I was trying it on in the dressing room.

However, it’s like that old friend that you can’t quit because even though they may get on your nerves 75% of the time, they are still sometimes delightful the other 25%.

(Gulley, I am not talking about you. This is just a lame analogy I came up with and isn’t based on a real person, living or dead.)

My point is (and I do have a point even though you may just think I’m rambling because I have nothing else to write about tonight) that the Gap by my house is one of my regular stops. I run in there at least twice a week just to look around on the off chance there’s a great deal going on. And it has paid off in just the last several weeks in the form of a cute dress I found on sale for $15, a pair of pj pants for only $6, and a striped t-shirt that was deeply discounted after Christmas.

But now it’s apparently closed for the indefinite future. Which means I’ll have to find a substitute. Banana Republic is right down the way but it’s not quite the same. Mainly because I feel like sometimes Banana takes itself too seriously and, frankly, it’s way too fancy for my current life that pretty much just requires yoga pants.

On a related note: In college I bought this long, floral maroon wrap skirt from Banana and wore it with a matching maroon t-shirt, a denim vest, and maroon flats. You don’t even want to know how awesome I thought I was in that outfit. And that I probably continued to wear it far longer than I probably should have.

Anyway, I realize I’ve now shared more of my thoughts about Gap than anyone really cares to know, but I’m sitting here next to P and he’s watching Cowboys vs. Aliens and I had to do something besides watch T.V. because you know what is worse than awkward pockets on an otherwise perfect skirt?

Watching a cowboy get his internal organs cut out by an alien.
That time I almost had a nervous breakdown

Comments are now closed and winners have been drawn at random!

Here are your random numbers:

87 50
Timestamp: 2014-02-22 15:35:38 UTC

The winners were Whitney and Cindy. I have notified them by email!

***Edited to add: Some of you emailed and mentioned Antelope was out of stock on Amazon. It’s back in stock now. You can find it here. It’s also available at Barnes and Noble here. And you can always walk into your neighborhood LifeWay store or Barnes and Noble or what have you and find it there. Thank you!****

***Also edited to add: I’ll be back with a new post tomorrow, but I needed a day to get caught up on life***

I don’t want to be overly dramatic today.

(Because there’s a first time for everything.)

But there were a few moments last week when I was as close to being as broke down as Bob Costas’s eye.

I knew going into it that it was going to be a crazy week, mainly because I’m a terrible calendar manager and planned a whole lot of things in a short period of time. But I seriously overestimated my ability to deal with factors beyond my control. The truth is I like to believe I do not have control freak tendencies, but the reality is that I am absolutely not a control freak until things happen that I cannot control. And then I freak out.

So things got off to a rough start when Caroline started running fever on Sunday night and stayed home from school on Monday. I had a speaking engagement on Monday morning and I rushed off to that while P kept Caroline and then I came home and spent the next few hours with her at the doctor’s office.

Then Tuesday morning, Caroline felt well enough to go to school and I packed my bags and flew to Virginia Beach. All was good and fine until I realized I’d managed to make it to the East Coast just in time for a monstrous snow storm to hit. And so I spent the next two days completely stressing out about getting home and doing my best in-depth analysis of the U.S. weather maps as if that could make a difference.

But thanks to a lot of answered prayers, I managed to get home without a hitch by late Thursday afternoon. Which was perfect because I made it in time for Caroline’s basketball game that night and yet one more speaking thing I had scheduled for Friday morning and Caroline’s class Valentine’s party that was later that afternoon.

So you can imagine how it threw my day off when I received a call from the school nurse, right as I was walking out the door on Friday morning, informing me that Caroline was in her office with 103 degree fever.

Well. Great.

And can we also schedule some time for my impending nervous breakdown?

I rushed to pick her up from school as I called P to tell him I needed him to meet me at the house. And then I dropped Caroline off at home with him, drove to my speaking thing while making her an appointment with the pediatrician, and then attempted to give a talk on things I’ve learned about motherhood because IRONY.

You know what I’ve learned about motherhood? You can consider any day a victory if it doesn’t involve catching someone’s throw up in your hands.

I met Caroline and P at the pediatrician’s office where she tested negative for both strep and the flu and it was determined to just be a virus that needed to run its course. And so I paid our co-pay and got home right in time to do the live radio interview I was scheduled to do at noon. I have no idea if I even managed to form sentences by that point. So if you’re in the Detroit area and heard a woman who sounded like she was mumbling in the fetal position on the radio, I apologize.

Our original plan was to drive to Houston right after school on Friday, but we left around 2:00 instead. Caroline insisted she still wanted to go and I had a book signing scheduled for Saturday morning. So I loaded her up in the car and she fell into a feverish sleep that lasted most of the trip. Well, until we were about thirty minutes outside of Houston. At which point she woke up and asked if we could stop at a gas station and buy a bag of Funyuns.

This was one of those moments where I know for sure she’s my daughter. There is no sickness too strong for a junk food craving.

By Saturday morning she was a little bit better and even insisted on going with me to the book signing. Mimi and Bops came too and we were joined by family I hadn’t seen in a long time, old friends and some new friends that read the blog. I can’t even tell you how much it means that anyone takes time out of their day to come buy a book and say hi.

Finally, Saturday night we went to eat Italian food and I was able to take a deep breath because I survived it all and I’m sure the twitching in my right eye will go away at some point.

And I have to mention one more thing. While I was in the middle of all the craziness of last week, my publisher called me to let me know that The Antelope in the Living Room made the New York Times Bestseller list.

(It was #24 in the E-book category because apparently you all love your Kindles and Nooks.)

This is a really big deal at my house. As evidenced by the fact P asked what was for dinner last night and I reminded him I’d written a New York Times bestseller and he might have wondered out loud when my “New York Times Bestselling rear end was going to the grocery store”. And he might have not said “rear end”.

But seriously, I am so grateful. Thank you so much for buying this book and spreading the word and posting about it on all the social media. Making that list has not one thing to do with me and everything in the world to do with all of you who show up here to read what I write every day. I will never cease to be so appreciative.

And so as just a small thank you, I’m doing a little giveaway today. Two of you have the chance to win one of these scarves.

Along with a copy of the audio version of The Antelope in the Living Room.

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post. I’ll keep comments open until this Friday, February 21 at noon and then choose two winners at random using Random.org.

And don’t forget that it’s also not too late to enter the Six Words contest. You can read all about it here.

Have a lovely President’s Day.
The Antelope in the Living Room

Okay, so let’s talk about this emotional milestone.

I just got home from an informational meeting at the Junior High because Caroline is going to be in Junior High next year. Of all the things happening in my life right now, this might be the one that is the most surreal and has caused me to be a little bit of a wreck.

Junior High. As in, MIDDLE SCHOOL. As in, she’ll have a locker and everything.

Oh, and also. I have a book that’s officially out today. Maybe you’ve heard about it since I have been talking about it for the last week or so non-stop.

It’s called The Antelope in the Living Room: The Real Story of Two People Sharing One Life.

Spoiler alert: It’s about marriage. Specifically, it’s about my marriage. But I expect that it’s probably about your marriage, too. Because there are things and moments and frustrations and joys that we all experience as we spend our lives with another person that we’ve pledged to be with until one or both of us die.

(You’re welcome for that cheery thought.)

I’m going to be honest with you and admit that I hope you buy this book. And I hope you spread the word to your friends and that they read it. Because as I’ve really spent time thinking about what my hopes and dreams are for The Antelope in the Living Room (the book, not the real antelope because my hope for it is that it mysteriously disappears) something has become clear. I want it to fill you with the realization that you’re normal.

I realize that may be a lofty goal for some of you.

Here’s the thing. Marriage can be hard. We all know that. And there are millions, or at least hundreds, of books out there with all manner of advice telling us how we can be better wives or speak each other’s love languages or pray for our husbands. And that’s good. Sometimes that’s what we need.

But in a world where Fifty Shades of Gray spent time on the bestseller list, maybe we need a book about a real relationship. A real, messy, beautiful, normal marriage and what an incredible thing it can be and what a gift it is to spend your life with a man who can drive you crazy and make you fall in love all over again in the midst of the mundane and the routine and the what’s for dinner tonight and the soccer carpools.

Maybe instead of reading more statistics about divorce and hearing all the gloom and doom, we need a little hope that marriage, with all its ups and downs, can bring us joy.

Because it’s often in those hard moments that we are becoming the person God created us to be. We’re dying to self and learning what it means to forgive and sharing all the triumphs and struggles that life can bring with another human being. It’s in the simple chaos and absurdities of everyday life that you and your husband are weaving a legacy for your family.

And if we can’t find the laughter and the humor and the security in that? Then I think we’re missing the whole point.

That’s my prayer as this book goes out into the world. That for a few hours or days or however long it takes you to finish it, that you will laugh and cry and feel normal. That you’ll know you’re not the only one whose husband buys peppermint bark in bulk or lectures you on how to turn the closet doorknob the right way or didn’t buy you a Lexus wrapped in a big red bow this past Christmas.

I want it to be a reminder that marriage is funny and fragile and hard and wonderful all at the same time. It’s God’s gift to us and sometimes I think we can all use to remember that it is worth fighting for.

Over the last few months, I have been so thankful for your kind words and your prayers and your support. You have blessed me and cheered me on more than I can ever convey. You’re a part of this book and I would love for you to be a part of it again this week as it goes out in the world.

So today I have a really fun giveaway planned just to say thank you for all your support.

One of you has the chance to win a pair of my very favorite Frye boots. The Jackie Tall Button boots. I talk about them in a chapter of the book.

I happen to own them in the cognac color, but you can choose whatever color and size you prefer. All you have to do for a chance to win is leave a comment on this post. I’ll close comments on Friday, February 7th at noon and choose a winner using Random.org. One comment per person please. Duplicates will be deleted.

In the meantime, here are some ways you can help make the launch of The Antelope in the Living Room a success. You can do all of these or none of them. I mean that with almost total sincerity. Well, maybe 65% sincerity.

1. Buy the book

It’s officially out today.

Here’s a handy widget if you’d like to purchase it from one of the following places online.

Or you can be like a pioneer and trek to your local real live bookstore and buy it there. It should be on the shelves at all your local book stores and even your Sam’s Club.

2. ONLINE REVIEWS

You can start leaving reviews for the book today and it would be great if you would take the time to leave a review after you read the book. Apparently, that’s important.

You can just briefly write your thoughts and please know that if you leave a one star review that I won’t read it because I learned last time that it causes me to go in the fetal position.

3. SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to post about it or tweet about it or Facebook it or Instagram yourself holding a copy of it at your bookstore or on your couch or whatever.

And if you feel like it, you can hashtag it (Dad, that’s this #) like this #antelopeinthelivingroom. That will make it easy for me to go find your pictures on Instagram or read your tweets.

Plus, Gulley and my friend Debbi have made it their mission to take pictures of the book all day long in various locations and they’ll be using #antelopeinthelivingroom as their hashtag. I have a feeling it’s going to be entertaining.

You can also find easy ways to share the book or tweet or pin or whatever the kids are doing these days on the official book page. Just click here.

4. SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS

You know, everyone you know and maybe even some people you don’t. Word of mouth is such a huge help.

5. PRAY

My prayer for this book is that it gets in the hands of every woman who may need the encouragement or the laughs. I hope it helps us all take some time to find the joy in our marriage and breathe a sigh of relief that it doesn’t all need to feel so heavy all the time.

I cannot thank you enough for all the love you have shown me. I don’t take it lightly that you show up here and read what I write and buy my books. In fact, I don’t know that I’ll ever get over it. And I’ve determined that I will forever spend book release days crying like a baby intermittently throughout the day as I am overwhelmed with all the kindness. And maybe also that my baby is going to Junior High next year.

Thank you isn’t enough.

But maybe a chance at a pair of Frye boots helps.

**Also, one last reminder that I’ll be signing books at the Barnes and Noble San Pedro location in San Antonio tonight from 6-8 p.m.**

****Comments on this post are now closed. The winner has been chosen and notified by email! Thank you all so much!****
There’s a winter storm a-brewing

Well I know you all probably couldn’t sleep last night for wondering about my new blender and how it all worked out. You’ll be glad to know that it is everything I dreamed it would be.

I’ve made two smoothies thus far with the flax seed flushed with inert gases and they were both delicious. And I adore the single serving cups. It’s a genius idea.

(I wish I could update you on who would win between a puma and a shark, but there’s no way to know for sure.)

But I went back to HEB yesterday because we are now on the verge of a Winter Storm Warning. Which in South Texas means that there’s a slight chance of rain and temperatures that may dip into the low 30’s. Otherwise known as ICEAPOCALYPSE 2014!

I loaded up on ingredients to make all manner of soups and stews and hot beverages and as I unloaded the groceries P asked, “You know it’s supposed to be in the 60’s again by Saturday right?”

Well. Yes I do. But I get excited about the thought of an ice storm and having to huddle around the fire like the Ingalls family. Which probably explains why one of my favorite things to play when I was little was a game I called “Covered Wagon” that basically consisted of me pretending my bed was a covered wagon and that I was one of the Ingalls’ girls crossing the Minnesota plains in the dead of winter.

Okay, so I have a few things to tell you that are actually kind of important for a change. And so I will put them in list form.

1. Book Signing Locations and Dates

As of right now I have three book signings for The Antelope in the Living Room scheduled. There will probably be more, but I wanted to give you these dates and locations now because I’d love it if you could make it to one of them because that’s so much more fun than sitting alone in a book store.

San Antonio: Feb 4th from 6-8pm at Barnes & Noble San Antonio – San Pedro (321 NW Loop Road)

Houston: Feb 15th from 10:30 to Noon at Books A Million at Katy Mills (5000 Katy Mills Circle)

College Station: March 1st from 10:30 to Noon at Barnes & Noble (711 Texas Ave.)

I’ll keep you posted about additional dates as I get them.

2. Still Creek Ranch Fundraiser in College Station

Still Creek Ranch in Bryan, TX is the only long term boarding school & safe house for trafficked minors that currently exists in the US. They are not an awareness campaign, but deal with rescue and restoration of life.

On Thursday, January 30th at 7p.m. there will be a fundraiser/concert on the Texas A&M Campus in Rudder Auditorium featuring All Sons & Daughters, which happens to be one of my very favorite groups right now. Check out stillcreekranch.org for more info or buy tickets at restoreher.eventbrite.com

Tickets are only $20 and all ticket sales go directly to rescuing & restoring victims of sex-trade who are given healing, home, & a future at Still Creek Ranch.

3. Conversion Diary

Yesterday I met my friend Jennifer Fulwiler for lunch at the Gristmill in Gruene, Texas. And I didn’t order the chicken fried steak because I’m on my healthy eating kick and now I have regrets.

I always love reading what Jen writes, but I cracked up when I read the post she wrote yesterday about the twenty-two things she learned in her first ten years of parenthood. Hilarious and so true.

4. Miri Attwater series by E.S. Ivy

Caroline has officially decided that she likes reading books on her Kindle more than normal books. I’m hoping it’s a phase because part of my love of books has to do with how great a new book smells and you just can’t replicate that on a Kindle.

E.S. Ivy is actually a regular blog reader and she told me about her Miri Attwater books last year. I downloaded them for Caroline and she really enjoyed them. They’re perfect for girls in the 8-11 year old range. A great fantasy adventure story. You can find the first in the series here and the second one here. Best of all, they’re free right now.

And now I’m off to go finish some laundry and evaluate all my various soup/stew options to determine which one will be the best to get us through the ARCTIC BLAST ’14 as we face being iced in for about twenty minutes or so on Friday morning.
Since some of you yearn for knowledge

I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to know I made it through all of Downton Abbey last night. It felt like the right thing to do. And I was so glad because clearly Lady Mary has had a rough go of it over the last six months.

P and I watched it together and after it was over he asked, “So why do people like this show?”

It’s safe to assume British soap operas aren’t his favorite.

And as for right this moment, I’m wrapped in a blanket in front of the fire while watching the National Championship game. I also just ate a bowl of soup. I didn’t mean for 2014 to start off with such a fast-paced, glamorous lifestyle, but so be it.

Several of you asked about the favorite things party, specifically how it works and what gifts we gave so I thought I’d write about it today. Assuming you wouldn’t rather hear about how hard it was to get up this morning and how Caroline wanted a toasted ham and cheese sandwich packed in her lunch and she only ended up eating half of it even though I’d slaved to toast that bread at 7:00 a.m.

Also, math homework.

You know what I remember about prime numbers versus composite numbers? Absolutely nothing. I don’t think there was even such a thing as composite numbers in the 1980’s.

Okay, but back to the favorite things party.

I originally read about the idea from the Nester and then of course there used to be a talk show host on T.V. named Oprah and she used to have a Favorite Things show every year that was kind of a big deal.

Ideally it works best for a small group because you buy your favorite thing for each person. There are five girls in my group besides myself, so everyone brings five of their favorite thing. You can make the price point whatever is best for everyone, but we keep it between $5-$15. This makes it affordable and more fun because you have to be creative.

We’ve done it three years now and I’m going to do my best to remember some of the different things we’ve given over the years. I’ll start with this year. I gave everyone a cute pack of styrofoam cups and a small bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream. The other girls brought pj pants, a wine stopper, a small Voluspa candle, Kiehl’s lip balm and Ikea cutting boards with matching knives.

Last year I gave everyone a pair of fuzzy socks and the other girls gave a small set of Sephora lipgloss, St. Ives face cream, Trapp room fragrance, earrings and a cute bag to put your wet swimsuit in when you travel.

And then the year before that is nothing but a vague memory, but I remember that I gave everyone pajama pants and that someone brought the latest People magazine and some chocolate.

So there you have it. And not one time has anyone brought raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens or brown paper packages or warm woolen mittens. Just a disclaimer.

Now I’m going to finish the last of the holiday mint M&M’s, wrap back up in my blanket and see how this game turns out. My money is on Auburn.

Not really because I’d never bet money on a football game. I might, however, bet holiday mint M&M’s.

If you’re interested in reading about more of my favorites from 2013, I wrote a post over on Ree’s blog yesterday. You can read it right here.
Merry New Year

Well I’m writing this at 4:54 on Sunday afternoon instead of waiting until later tonight.

Not that you care, but my reasons are twofold.

1. Downton Abbey

2. I seem to have come down with a bit of the plague.

So, frankly, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to will myself to stay up to watch Downton Abbey, but I plan to give it my best shot considering that Lady Mary needs me in her time of grief.

Tomorrow is our re-entry back to the real world. And it’s probably for the best judging from the fact that my laundry has essentially consisted of nothing but pajama pants for the last two weeks. P is pretty good about continuing to be a productive member of society, but Caroline has joined me in my love of embracing a little bit of agoraphobia during an extended period of vacation.

Several of you mentioned that I didn’t mention the Aggie game on Friday. That’s because my brain and heart still hadn’t recovered enough for me to fully process what happened during the Chick-Fil-A Bowl on Tuesday night and my recap would have just been something along the lines of “slakjdghschmirf”.

We watched the game over at Gulley’s house with a few other friends and I honestly tried my best during the first half to pretend that EVERYTHING WAS FINE, IT WAS FINE, IT’S JUST A FOOTBALL GAME but it was all a lie. And then I spent halftime going through the seven stages of grief for all that this football season could have been.

But the second half started and Coach Sumlin appeared to have punched something hard and unyielding based on his swollen finger and Johnny Manziel played the most amazing game of his career. And that’s saying something. We jumped up and down and yelled and I felt all the feelings that exist and then Tony Hurd made that interception and we lost our minds. It wasn’t the most peaceful, relaxing way to end our season, but it was high on the adrenaline and fun factor.

Our New Year’s Day was basically spent doing absolutely nothing. I debated taking down our Christmas decorations but that felt too ambitious and so I waited until the next day. And it was while unwrapping the forty-third strand of lights from our Christmas tree that I realized why no one sings songs about undecking the halls and that reason is too much profanity and questioning what idiot felt like they needed to weave the lights in and out of every. single. branch.

(That would be me.)

But by late that afternoon we had everything down and put away for next year. I even made a huge pile of stuff to take to Goodwill. Caroline, otherwise known as a future star of an episode of Hoarders, eyed my pile and asked, “But what if some of this turns out to be stuff with special memories?” I informed her I wasn’t buying into drumming up false emotion over a stuffed penguin wearing a Santa hat and it all needed to go. Fa la la la.

Later that evening we had two of P’s oldest friends and their families over for dinner. And by oldest friends, I mean people he’s known the longest. Although that might also make them the oldest in years too because we aren’t spring chickens anymore. We’re late summer chickens.

Anyway, we had the best time catching up on life and watching our kids run and play and climb trees together. His friend George even brought over a New Year’s Piñata for the kids and there really isn’t anything that gets a party going like a bunch of kids hitting a butterfly with a large stick. But that’s just common sense.

On Friday, P and Caroline left to go spend the night at the ranch and I met my birthday club group of girlfriends at a neighborhood restaurant for our annual Christmas party. Granted, we were a little late this year due to some scheduling difficulties, but better late than never. Especially because we make it a little favorite things party and each of us brings a favorite thing ($10 or less) for the rest of the group. And so each of us leaves with five fun little gifts. I highly recommend it.

Sadly, it was Saturday night that I began to suspect I was coming down with something that was more serious than just the dread of getting up at the crack of dawn on Monday morning. My throat is all scratchy, I’m a little achy and just generally feel a little out of it. So, if not for the scratchy throat, completely normal.

But I persevered and made myself get to the grocery store earlier this afternoon to stock up on provisions. The weather here isn’t going to be nearly as cold as it is in other parts of the country, but it’s still cold enough to require a stockpile of good soup.

And some good television.

Which brings me full circle to Downton Abbey.

The end.