Author: Big Mama

This post might be better if you listen to Chariots of Fire while you read

I’m sitting here on the couch, hoping I can still manage to write an entire post about our weekend now that I just found out that Duran Duran has cancelled their concert tour. The official reason given was something about Simon LeBon needing to rest his vocal cords, but I think all of us who spent the better part of the 80’s listening to “Hungry Like the Wolf” know that’s probably just public relations code for “hip replacement”.

It’s not easy watching your teen idols become eligible for Medicare.

Okay, so we had a great weekend. Caroline spent all last week going back and forth to day camp and so most of our mornings looked like some version of this.

It’s not easy re-training yourself to wake up at 6:45 when you’ve been in full on summer mode but she had a great time and I was able to accomplish at least seven things that I wrote on my Summer To-Do list. None of which are interesting enough to tell you about.

On Friday afternoon, P and I drove to camp for the closing ceremonies and got caught in horrific traffic that made us run late even though we’d given ourselves what we believed to be PLENTY of time. Naturally, this sent me into some sort of internal panic featuring Caroline standing by the camp gates waiting on us to arrive.

Fortunately, she didn’t even realize we were late. And so we didn’t volunteer that information because DRAMA. But we made it in plenty of time to meet her counselors and hear them describe their week. Then we went to eat Mexican food with several friends.

Most of Saturday was spent recovering from camp until it was time for Caroline to go to a friend’s birthday party. And Sunday is a total blur. I think I may have taken a nap. I’m also certain we went to the pool.

Then came the fourth of July.

We started the day getting ready for the neighborhood parade.

And then we headed out for the festivities.

I adore the neighborhood parade because it feels like you’ve stepped back into a simpler time. The neighbors all gather, they pass out song sheets and everyone drinks lemonade and eats cookies while we sing a few rounds of God Bless America and America the Beautiful. It’s a perfect little slice of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Except Norman Rockwell never featured a decorated all-terrain vehicle in his work.

After the parade, we went home to change into our swimsuits and made our way to the pool for all the big fourth of July fun. Caroline was SUPER EXCITED about the belly flop contest which wasn’t being held until 6:00 p.m. so we knew we were in for the long haul.

However, what we didn’t know about was the Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest being held at 3:00. They announced it shortly after we arrived and it immediately piqued Caroline’s interest. And so she got in line to be part of it. And in case you’re wondering, the Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest or the WSSC for short, is all about accuracy. There is a chalk drawing of a target and it’s all about hitting the bullseye.

My point is that, CLEARLY, it’s a game of skill. And, as Coach pointed out, THIS IS NOT THE YMCA, ONLY THE WINNERS RECEIVE A MEDAL.

Here’s Caroline picking out her seed.

The spitter steps up to the line and spits the seed. (Please read this in a golf commentator voice.)

I realize I cut off her head, but the seed-spitting tension distracted me.

The official measurement landed her in first place. But there was still a whole line of kids left to spit. Including several teenage boys.

Gulley’s husband was the first to point out the tension on Caroline’s face and she watched to see if she would maintain the lead.

Finally, with only one spitter left, she started to crack.

But all other spitters failed to measure up and she was announced the winner.

And what did she win for her efforts? A cruise? A $500 scholarship? A new pair of goggles?

NO.

The rest of the watermelon that they’d used for the contest.

Not to mention a shiny medal and the bragging rights that come with knowing you’ve out-spit every boy at the pool. And you can’t put a price on that because it’s the kind of thing you can put on future Miss Texas pageant applications.

Later on the kids all participated in the coin toss. Here they are right before the official whistle blew.

I think they each gathered upwards of $1.27 for their coin-collecting efforts.

And, FINALLY, it was time for the much-anticipated belly flop contest. I wasn’t nervous about it because I figured Caroline already had a medal for the day, but she had the eye of the tiger. She’d even put on her swim shirt, not because of my repeated warning about skin cancer, but in a strategic measure to lessen the pain of the belly flop.

She stepped up to the board.

And executed a perfect flop.

The crowd went wild. And she got her second first place medal of the day.

She said the key is to push past the pain. Which I believe is what I told myself seven years ago while I was in labor. Never could I have imagined that baby girl would grow up to be so delicate and dainty.

Then it was time for the boys’ belly flop competition. Gulley’s youngest, Will, had been practicing for hours. Honestly, I don’t know how his stomach wasn’t raw from all the practice flops, but he wanted a medal more than anything.

We were so nervous as he walked up to the board. This was his first belly flop competition. What if the nerves got to him? What if he cracked under the pressure?

He didn’t crack.

Will got his medal and if it’s possible to strut while you swim that’s exactly what he did as he made his way to the ladder to climb out of the pool.

Eventually we loaded up all our medal hardware and came back to our house to grill hot dogs and let the kids celebrate with some forbidden sparklers because we are just that rebellious and out of control.

The city is in the midst of a major fireworks ban thanks to the drought, but we figured a few sparklers couldn’t hurt. P really wanted to set off a few other things he had in the back house but I reminded him it’s all fun and games until the police issue you a $500 ticket.

I called Gulley yesterday morning to recap the day. She told me that Will had slept late and eventually come staggering out his bedroom still half asleep and asking for his medal. At that moment he was laying on the couch in his underwear, wearing his medal and watching Phineas and Ferb.

I like to believe the Founding Fathers celebrated similarly the day after the original 4th of July.

Or that maybe it’s what Simon LeBon is doing right now while his “vocal chords” heal.
Fifth of July and five years

I guarantee that none of you know this.

Or if you do then I am very impressed with your ability to withstand years of meaningless drivel.

Today is the five year anniversary of this blog.

I didn’t even remember that until I was at the pool yesterday and one of Caroline’s friend’s mothers (did you follow that?) said, “I heard you started a blog”.

And, after I wiped the deer in the headlights look from my face that I get whenever someone from my real life reveals that they know about my blog life, I said, “Yes. I did. I actually started it back when Caroline was about to turn three”.

Then I remembered I’d actually started it on July 5, 2006. Five years ago.

Five years ago today I sat down at our antiquated, enormous desktop computer and opened up a blogspot account. And then I wrote a totally lame post. But I didn’t care because I figured I’d delete the whole thing before I told anyone about it anyway.

Yet here I am.

In so many ways I couldn’t have imagined how much life could change in five years, but at the same time I can’t imagine it being a whole lot better than it is right now. Sure, there have been highs and lows, but that’s what life is all about. And I hate to get all schmaltzy, but I cannot thank y’all enough for showing up here every day with your sweet comments and emails and advice on everything from books to hair care products.

Seriously, you are the wind beneath my wings.

Where else would I be able to share the video of Caroline’s prize winning belly flop at the pool yesterday?

Belly Flop from Big Mama on Vimeo.

She sounds like a sack of wet cement hitting that water.

There’s so much more to tell you. But we can talk about that tomorrow.

Hope y’all had a happy 4th of July.
Fashion Friday: Edition God bless America

So this weekend is 4th of July weekend. Or as Caroline referred to it last year, the day the UK celebrates its Day of Shame.

And wouldn’t it be cool if I just featured things that were red, white and blue? I thought about it for at least twenty-two seconds before I realized that would take me a sweet forever. And I don’t have that kind of time.

You also may notice that I didn’t feature one single picture this week. That’s because I have embraced my inner laziness and kind of gave myself the week off.

But yet there is still good fashion to be found.

I also wanted to let y’all know that I’ve started writing a regular column called Fashion Cafe for Praise and Coffee magazine. You can find it by clicking here if you’re interested.

No pressure, but there are some good finds over there.

Also, here are a few things I found this week.

1. eyeleted corset top

I debated posting this because I realize it’s not for everyone AND it’s almost sold out in every size. But I think it is so pretty and you might be able to find it in your local Anthropologie store.

I adore it.

2. classic linen tunic

I bought two great linen tunics at the beginning of the summer and have worn them non-stop. I love the versatility and the way I can effortlessly look like I put some effort into getting dressed.

I believe that’s called irony.

3. black wedge espadrilles

I’ve noticed that Target has some cute shoes in the store lately, but these are my personal favorites.

4. soft v-neck striped tee

Is it just me or has Gap become kind of MEH lately? Like I got an email announcing their 70% off summer sale and was barely tempted to go look because I can’t remember the last time I really loved anything at Gap. Which makes me sad.

Have I ever told y’all that one of my favorite things ever was a pair of plaid walking shorts I bought at Gap in 1991? I wish I had a picture. Maybe I do. I’ll check on that this week.

But Gap does do t-shirts well. They are soft and fairly good quality. And I appreciate the stripe.

5. ruffle hem tank

Last fall I found a ruffle hem tank on sale at Nordstrom Rack for $4.99. It was one of my greatest fashion triumphs. And then over the winter I discovered it looked really cute paired under a simple black blazer I bought at Target. So what’s my point?

This ruffle hem tank is on sale for $13.99 right now. And it would make a great piece to layer when the weather cools off. if it ever cools off again.

I also really like this sequin embellished tank which is 40% off right now at Ann Taylor. It’s still pricey but could be worn with so many things.

6. double wrap african turquoise and leather bracelet

I cannot express how much I love this. It’s got such a great bohemian thing going on.

7. old mexico teardrop ring

These rings are so great and so expensive. Plus they come from the Junk Gypsies who are the ones that sent Caroline her mama tried t-shirt.

8. hazel crochet poncho

How can you dislike anything that has the word “poncho” in the description?

9. hive and honey open stitch vest

I love pieces that can transition into other seasons and this is one of those things.

10. laced with love dress

It’s hard to tell if I’d actually wear this as a dress. My guess is probably no. But I’d totally wear it with a pair of white cropped skinny jeans or with regular jeans. Or with leggings.

That’s it for today.

Hope y’all have a great holiday weekend full of hot dogs and apple pie and patriotism.
Ten things I like right now

You know what I did yesterday?

Absolutely nothing interesting. Not even anything I can make sound interesting unless you want to hear how I returned a black maxi dress to Old Navy and then filled up my car with gas.

So I thought I would take this opportunity of extreme nothingness to share ten things I am a fan of at the moment. Maybe you’ll like them to. Or maybe you won’t. Either way.

1. Jergens Natural Glow Firming Moisturizer

This is my go-to moisturizer in the summer. It helps me appear tan before I actually am tan and then helps me maintain a little color all summer long so that I don’t cry when I have to wear shorts in public and catch my reflection in a mirror.

2. Neutrogena Build-A-Tan

Now I use this on my face. I like that it gives gradual coverage and I tend to use it every other day to help my face match my body. Especially because I can’t let my face see the sun or I develop hideous brown spots. Let’s just say they’re oversized freckles as opposed to age spots. That sounds better.

Also, my skin tends to be sensitive but this doesn’t make me break out.

3. One Kings Lane

I am officially in love with this site. Beautiful things for your home at discount prices.

4. Dream Menagerie Rug

I have no use for this rug. But yet I love it. If I were having another baby (which I’m not) I’d totally decorate a nursery around this rug.

5. Knotted Melati Hanging Chair

Sadly, I do not own this chair. But one of my friends does and I adore it every time I see it.

6. Copy Cat Chic Blog

Do y’all know about this? She finds cheaper versions of all sorts of home goods. Brilliant.

In the meantime, I just need to hang the map of Texas that I bought six months ago.

7. Cost Plus Red Adirondack Chairs

I would love to have these chairs on my back porch. Or maybe out in the yard somewhere. I don’t even think they go with my house, but I love the red.

And they come in other colors.

8. The Beat by Ben Rector

Sophie sent me a download of this album (Is that how you say it? I am so out of touch.) last year and I didn’t get the chance to listen to it very much. But I’ve had it on constant rotation lately and adore the entire thing. Especially this song.

9. NARS Laguna Bronzing Powder Bronzer

I bought this last summer and then I ran out a few weeks ago. So I thought I would just cut corners and buy a lesser bronzer at the HEB because how different could it be?

The answer is VERY different. The NARS is above and beyond the best bronzer I’ve ever used. And I need a good one because did I mention my face can’t handle the sun?

10. Good Reads

This has become one of my other favorite sites. I love reading all the book recommendations and quotes. Honestly, I wasted a good hour and a half on here yesterday.

Which is why I don’t have anything to say other than to write this list.

And that brings me back to my original point.

So, anything you’re loving this summer? Makeup? Chairs? Websites? Please share with the group.
Big Boo Cast: Episode we are on a roll

Stop.

We are up to four podcasts in a row.

I think it’s safe to say this make actually become a regular thing now that all my internet issues have been sorted out. Today we talk a little bit about The Bachelorette, but we also cover fall shoe trends (Booties. It’s still all about the booties.) and books and even the upcoming Miss Mississippi pageant.

I was going to bring up the fact that something appear to be wrong with my sinus cavities, but refrained lest these podcasts become a list of all our various ailments. And now I’m glad I did because I just heard on the news that the mold count is really high right now. And the molds? They get me every time.

So maybe I’m not getting the black plague, but just have some bad allergies.

Anyway, to spend forty-five minutes of your life that you’ll never get back listening to the two of us ramble, you can click here to listen. Or here. Or, as always, you can subscribe on iTunes.

Thank you and have a nice day.
And who can forget “The Legend of Muy Grande”?

Well, this is a sad day.

I feel like I’ve forgotten how to construct sentences over the last three days and, therefore, actual paragraphs may be entirely out of my reach. I’m not sure what has happened, but it would appear my brain has officially gone over to the summer side.

My point is this may officially be the blog post that describes how I did my laundry and separated the whites from the darks and, OH, did I mention that I washed a tube of Chapstick and a Kit Kat?

(Just so you know, the Chapstick washed fairly well. The Kit Kat? Not so much.)

So it’s been a busy few days around here. On Friday night, P went hog hunting because a group from our church is heading to Joplin, MO this week and wanted to provide some meals while they are there. And P is always willing to shoot something for a good cause. Or even no cause. He’s not really particular.

While he was out hunting and gathering, Caroline and I went to eat Mexican food with Mimi and Bops and my sister and her family. And then we came home and watched some truly terrible animated movie that she found at Redbox. I can’t even remember the name and, trust me, you don’t want to know. I guarantee you haven’t seen it. And if you have you don’t want to be reminded.

Saturday morning we all slept late. Which means P slept until 7:30 and Caroline and I slept until 9:45. We had a lazy morning around the house and ended up at the pool later that afternoon. We didn’t order any food, but we did get popsicles since they are pretty hard to screw up. Later that night, we went to a post-wedding party for our friends Stewart and Hannah who got married two weeks ago. We had the best time hanging out with friends we haven’t seen in a long time.

(Also, total side note but Stewart and Hannah got married by the river, flew off to Greece for two weeks for their honeymoon and then came home and had a reception. THAT is how you get married.)

I totally overslept and missed church on Sunday morning which is totally worthless but I’m being honest. We’d been out until midnight the night before and I had to take out my dentures and tend to my rheumatism and I was tired. It’s not easy having all that carefree fun.

Caroline was invited to a birthday party at the roller skate rink on Sunday that was supposed to be a drop off party. However, once I walked in and realized half of San Antonio was also at the skating rink, I didn’t feel like I could just leave her there with minimal supervision. Especially because there seemed to be an inordinate number of older men there by themselves who were very eager to participate in the ADULTS ONLY backwards skate.

(It would have been good to know I was staying at the party because then I might have chosen attire other than my rattiest running shorts and slightly holey t-shirt. Also, the bun on top of my head was a nice touch.)

First of all, I don’t feel like we really need to have an ADULTS ONLY backwards skate on a Sunday afternoon. And, secondly, it made me feel like some of them might have a white, paneled creeper van out in the parking lot filled with candy.

Call me paranoid but I am just suspicious about grown men at the skating rink with no children. P would never go to the skating rink alone and participate in the ADULTS ONLY backwards skate. The fast skate FOR SURE, but not the backwards skate.

(I’m just kidding. I’ve never seen P roller skate. Although I’m sure he did back in the days of junior high to impress the ladies.)

Anyway, I ended up staying at the skating rink for the entire party and listened to more than my fill of Lady Ga-Ga until it was time for us to head home so we could get ready for a dinner party with some friends. And so we went to dinner with friends, came home and put Caroline to bed because she started a week of day camp yesterday and we didn’t want her to frighten the counselors with the DON’T ANGER IT thing she can get going if she’s overtired.

Yesterday morning I dropped her off at camp and then tried to remember what I do when I have free time. Ultimately, I threw caution to the wind and went to the grocery store AND the bank. I know. I am the wind beneath your wings.

After I ran all my errands, I came home and discovered that P had thrown down the chandelier gauntlet. You probably don’t know what I mean by that because I don’t know what I mean by that. But he had hung the chandelier I bought for Caroline’s room. Granted, I bought the chandelier at a garage sale back in September so he’s had a full nine and a half months but, still, it made me feel like I needed to do something productive.

(I realize this isn’t a great picture of the chandelier, but I couldn’t get a picture with it actually on because THE BRIGHTNESS WAS VERY BRIGHT.)

(Also, if you have any thoughts on how I could make that chain more attractive, feel free to share them. I realize we could hardwire it, but let’s not pretend that will happen in the next five years.)

I felt like I should do something productive around the house, yet I didn’t want it to involve actual cleaning products. So I decided to organize Caroline’s Wii games and movies that are all just piled in the bottom of our armoire. Which is how I discovered a long-forgotten stockpile of VHS tapes in the armoire drawers.

All of which belonged to P.

And had been there for the last twelve or so years after he assured me they were very important and he would continue to enjoy his “movie library” for many years to come.

Here’s a look at his extensive collection.

Obviously, “The Buck Stops Here” is a classic. As is “Monster Bucks VI” which everyone knows was SO MUCH BETTER than “Monster Bucks V”.

But it felt like it was time to let them go. Especially in light of the fact that we haven’t owned a VCR in five years.

Oh, and “Hope Floats” may have been mine because P doesn’t really watch a lot of chick movies.

He’s way too busy practicing his fast skate for the roller rink.