Author: Big Mama

Another year, another fiesta

Last Thursday Caroline’s school had a little mini-fiesta. I am not kidding when I say it was better than the last sixteen parties I’ve attended. Granted, the last sixteen parties I’ve attended have basically just involved large bounce houses where kids jump until they regret their massive intake of icing and Juicy Juice.

However, the mini-fiesta was still impressive because they had a Mariachi Band, chalupas, snow cones and two kegs of Miller Lite.

Oh wait, I just got confused with a party I attended my senior year of college. Obviously the Kindergarten fiesta wouldn’t have chalupas because the refried beans are way too messy.

Anyway, the big moment of the party was when King Antonio showed up with his entourage. Caroline even got to get her picture taken with the king.

Disclaimer: Elmo was not harmed in the making of that hat.

After the king talked to them, the kids spent the next hour expending roughly the same amount of energy it would take to provide a major city with electrical power for a year. Or six.

I was assigned to work the Cascarone-making booth. For those of y’all who may be unfamiliar, a cascarone is a hollowed-out egg filled with confetti for the purpose of being smashed on someone’s head.

Yeah, that’s a good idea. Put those suckers in the hands of some five and six-year-olds and see what happens.

It’s been five days and I’m still finding bits of confetti in my hair.

But it’s a small price to pay for all the pandemonium and free chalupas.

I think.

Lastly, you should go read this post that Melissa wrote from India. She does an incredible job of describing what being a Compassion sponsor is all about.
A weekend recap in numerical form

So here’s what I did over the weekend:

1. Worried about contracting the swine flu.

2. Went to a wedding and ate the most delicious queso. In fact, when they ran out of chips, I seriously contemplated pouring queso over the sliced cantaloupe from the fruit table until I remembered that I don’t really like cantaloupe.

I decided it would probably be considered bad etiquette to just lick the queso off the fruit. My instincts tell me I made a good decision.

3. Went to a t-ball game where I had to cheer extra loud because Caroline’s usual fan club wasn’t in attendance and I felt the need to overcompensate.

4. Felt like maybe I was coming down with the swine flu.

5. Listened to Caroline speak approximately 4,746,982 words on Sunday alone. I don’t think she ever took a breath all day long, not even when I went back to my room and told her mama needed ten minutes of quiet. She followed me back there, stood at my bedside and counted down the minutes on the clock.

I had to take three Advils and some Evening Primrose Oil to find some inner serenity.

6. Went to eat dinner with our friends Kristie and George. Kristie is having triplets in one week and is on total bed rest. I’ve never seen someone who looks so completely uncomfortable in my life, but she is a trooper because she fixed her hair and was even wearing makeup.

If it were me I’d have transformed into Jabba the Hut, except not as charming and friendly.

7. Is my throat sore? Is that a symptom of the swine flu?

8. Caroline spent the night with Gulley and her boys on Friday night while we were at the wedding. I was worried she might get homesick, but as it turns out she’s decided she’d like to work it into her weekly schedule.

9. P and I stayed up late last night watching “The Notebook”. One of my life’s greatest pleasures is when he gets sucked into watching a chick movie and actually likes it.

Plus, I can ask him questions like “Will you come and read to me when I’m old and in a nursing home?” and he can reply, “Yes, as long as it has a pond where I can do some fishing while I’m there”.

He’s all mine, ladies.

10. Seriously, do I have really bad allergies or is this the swine flu?

And that pretty much sums it up.

On one final note, this post by Pete about the first day in India is heartbreaking and beautiful all at the same time.
Compassion in India

About 7 p.m. last night, a group of bloggers flew out of the Chicago airport bound for New Delhi. And because I am a little obsessive, every time I woke up last night I would think about the fact they were STILL on a plane.

In fact, as of this moment, they are STILL on a plane.

That is a lot of honey-roasted peanuts.

Anyway, they’ve been on my heart because I know a little bit about what they’re about to experience, although I suspect that the Dominican pales in comparison to the poverty of Kolkata.

Please pray for them this week and make sure you follow along by going to the Compassion Bloggers site. I know what they share is going to be incredible because there is nothing like seeing the way Compassion International completely changes lives of children all over the globe.

And if you want a glimpse of what they’ll be seeing, take a look at these sweet faces waiting to be sponsored.
Edition 59: Fashion Friday

On the way to College Station last weekend, Gulley and I discussed many important topics in between threatening our kids with a babysitter if they didn’t start acting right. We covered the economy, the Dow Jones Industrial average, who we like best on American Idol, our hair, and, of course, fashion.

The fashion topic of chief concern was regarding what to wear during the summer when it’s so hot that you want to take off your skin and sit around in your bones. In a pool of ice. While drinking an ice cold Diet Coke. With a fan blowing on you.

Maybe it’s just me, but I get tired of wearing shorts every day and I’m over capri pants. Now don’t freak out and send me a bunch of emails declaring your love for capris. I realize the capri is here to stay and I even own a few pairs, but I’m tired of them. I have decided that I like nothing better in the summer (other than Dreyers Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup ice cream) than a cotton dress or a skirt with a tank or tee.

So on Tuesday, Gulley and I headed to Nordstrom Rack on a quest to find her a few cotton summer dresses and we succeeded. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that later on in the day we went into Forever 21 and I hate to even type this out for fear of defiling my blog, but they were selling acid-washed jeans. Look, I realize these are hard times we’re living in right now, but do we really want to add acid-washed denim to the wealth of all the things that have gone wrong in 2009?

Let’s keep some dignity, people. And shame on you, Forever 21, for stooping to this level.

Now for the questions:

1. Emily asks: “What I should wear to my graduation from Texas A&M next month? Note, my cap and gown will be black so I’m thinking black shoes are a necessity.

Congratulations on your graduation, Emily! It’s such an important day because not only will you be getting your diploma, but you’ll be posing for pictures that will be around for a long time. If there is ever a time that you don’t want to commit a fashion faux pas, this is it.

Unfortunately, I chose to wear some really ugly black heels to my graduation and when I look at pictures from that day all I see are those bad shoes at the bottom of my gown. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it’s never a good idea to wear shoes that make your feet look like an isosceles triangle.

Just consider that bit of wisdom an early graduation present.

I love this retro black and white poppy dress. I realize it’s a little pricey and I’m almost certain College Station doesn’t have a White House Black Market store, but it’s a good guideline. If I were you, I’d go search the racks at TJ Maxx and some other discount stores to see what you can find.

I also saw this dress at Macy’s the other day and thought it was adorable. Sadly, it’s a little much for a trip to HEB.

The important thing is to look for something that you’ll actually wear again at some point. There’s nothing worse than buying a dress that you only wear one time, except, of course, shoes that make your feet look like isosceles triangles.

Hope that helps.

2. Courtney asks: “I am the proud mother of a beautiful 4 month old son. I am also now sporting the “pouch” that many women experience post-pregnancy. As I work to lose this mushy belly, I am in the need of some clothes that will help me to not still look 6 months pregnant. I’m slender everywhere else – I just need to hide this tummy!

The hand of fashion is smiling down on you because there are plenty of items to be found that will hide the mushy belly. I know this because I am still wearing those items even though my baby is now five and a half.

Don’t judge me, sit-ups are hard.

I love stuff like this top because you can wear it with jeans or shorts depending on how you feel. Not to mention that it covers a multitude of postpartum sins. You could also look for something like this darling ruffled dress.

Try to find things that are loose around your mid-section because, sadly, it takes a lot of crunches to get back into pre-pregnancy shape. Not that I know this from experience, it’s just what I’ve heard.

I actually did a short clip on BlogHer’s latest Backtalk video about what happens to your body post-pregnancy. You can go watch it here if you want and please keep in mind that the video camera causes me to have a horrible lisp. IT’S NOT MY FAULT.

At leatht I don’t think it ith.

3. MIchelle asks: “My husband and I are going to Boston this summer to celebrate our fifth anniversary. We are doing a lot of sightseeing, but I don’t want to walk around Fenway Park and Harvard in shorts, tennis shoes and a fanny pack. Any suggestions on casual day wear?”

I’m proud of your fashion instincts regarding the fanny pack. Well done.

I’ve already stated my love of the cotton dress/skirt/tee or tank option. I think it looks a little nicer than shorts and can be dressed up or down with jewelry and shoes. I’ve never been to Boston in the summer or, well…ever, but I believe the summer sandal is universally acceptable.

I’d look for a cute pair of comfortable flip-flops or sandals for the trip and maybe some type of messenger bag that you can carry instead of a purse or the dreaded fanny pack.

Hope y’all have fun. I hear Boston is lovely. In fact, I almost went to Harvard except for the fact that I had a hard time passing Algebra II.

That’s it for this week. I think next week will be dedicated to swimwear because a lot of people are trying to figure out how they can hide their entire body at the pool.

In the meantime, I’m putting up Mr. Linky if you have anything to add. Please link to your specific post.

Y’all have a great Friday.
It’s a dog’s life

I realize it’s only April and way too early to start complaining about the heat, but it was seriously 96 degrees yesterday. NINETY-SIX DEGREES.

It was so hot that when I got in my car yesterday afternoon wearing shorts, I felt the back of my legs begin to sizzle on the leather seats. All of a sudden I was filled with empathy for Ariel and her hot-glued bottom.

In other news, this is our dog Bruiser.

About two weeks ago I had to take him to the vet. Apparently he has very sensitive skin and also a possible flea allergy, which isn’t really convenient when you’re a dog.

We tried to help him out by giving him some Benadryl and slathering him in hydrocortisone, but it didn’t seem to help. He appeared to need something stronger, like perhaps Valium or a shot of tequila; both of which are clinically proven to either help with flea allergies or just make sure that you don’t really care that your back is itchy.

They sent him home with a bottle of shampoo that’s supposed to help with all his skin issues. So while I’m using Pantene in an effort to save money, my dog that came from humble trailer park beginnings is using shampoo that costs more than the Biolage I gave up for the sake of thriftiness.

I believe that’s called irony.

Then, yesterday, I had to go to HEB to pick up a few things I’d forgotten earlier in the week and when I went to check out the cashier asked me if I’d like a free light bulb in celebration of Earth Day. Well, I’m no fool. Who would turn down a free light bulb?

Plus, I used the money I theoretically saved on buying a lightbulb to treat myself to a new bottle of Biolage.

Math has never really been my strong suit.

But in my defense, I can’t have a dog with more shine and volume than me. That would just be wrong.
The parade of crazy

Before I say anything else today, I believe my feelings about y’all are best summed up in the words of the immortal Coca-Cola commercial:

I’d like to teach the internet to sing
In perfect harmony
I’d like to buy the internet a Coke
And keep it company

Y’all are the best. Group hug.

About two years ago, Gulley decided it was time to enroll Will into a preschool program. She knew that I adored Caroline’s preschool, but was a little apprehensive about signing him up to attend that same school. Her reason can be summed up in three words: SHOEBOX FIESTA FLOAT.

(Is shoebox one word? If not, her reason can be summed up in four words: SHOE BOX FIESTA FLOAT)

She had been witness to her best friend turning into some sort of lunatic who called various McDonalds restaurants and begged them to hold Happy Meal toys. She saw my dark side. It was kind of like when Obi Wan Kenobi had proof that Anakin had darkness under the surface.

Actually, I don’t know if it was like that at all because I have very limited knowledge of anything related to Star Wars. I just wanted to throw that out there. Plus, I am trying to expand my Star Wars horizons because the other day I was volunteering in Caroline’s classroom and a little boy asked me some question like “Do you know what the Prince Commander of Blah-Blah-Blah and Rebel Force Blah-Blah-Blah when Blah-Blah-Blah?” I honestly had absolutely no clue what kind of answer he was looking for so I just answered “TWO?”

Have you ever had a five-year-old look at you like they pity you? Yeah, me too.

Anyway, because I have some pride issues involving my ability to make shoebox fiesta floats, I promised Gulley that when the day came that Will had to take part in the shoebox float parade, I would help her make the float.

That day arrived two weeks ago.

Gulley received the note from school informing her that it was time for the kids to make their floats. She called me up so we could schedule a day to hit Michael’s for the necessary supplies and then go back to my house to assemble the whole thing. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited to have the chance to use my hot glue gun.

Wow. I’m so embarrassed that I just admitted that.

The goods news is that Gulley had the float theme all thought out. Her sister’s in-laws had brought her boys the entire Happy Meal collection of “Madagascar” animals over Thanksgiving (with the exception of Gloria because they must be anti-hippo) and she’d been saving them for such a time as this. I have never been more proud to call her my friend.

Last Tuesday we met for Starbucks and then headed to Michael’s. We purchased ribbon, glitter paper, and other various float materials. It never occurred to either one of us that maybe we should purchase some sort of life.

We went back to my house and began to work on the float, stopping only for lunch and the occasional Diet Coke. At one point it did occur to us that maybe it was a little bizarre that we were spending our entire day working on a float for a four-year-old who would have been just as happy, if not happier, if we handed him a shoebox with a Whoopie Cushion glued to the top, but then the hot glue gun began to burn my fingers and I forgot what I was talking about.

Anyway, by the time Gulley left to pick up Will from school, my living room floor was covered in glitter and we had most of the float finished. I instructed Gulley to go home and let Will glue on the rest of the tissue paper flowers because, after all, it’s his float. It’s not like we were going to do the WHOLE thing for him.

Sure, some people may say the zebra-print arch with “I like to move it” is a little over the top considering that most four-year-olds can’t even read, but to those people I say that you’ve never experienced having your Barbie Island Princess float put to shame by a float that’s pulled by an actual battery-operated horse.

I put my heart, soul, and the tips of my fingers that were burnt by the hot glue gun into that float and I was proud. After all, it would be my only opportunity to put my OCD tendencies on display this year since Caroline’s Kindergarten doesn’t do floats.

Or so I thought.

Two days later Caroline came home from school and I was going through her take home folder. Inside was a note letting parents know that the Fiesta Shoebox Float parade was next Thursday and all floats needed to be turned in by Tuesday, April 21.

I was caught totally unprepared.

There had been no hording of Happy Meal toys, no planning, no envisioning what type of theme would make a great float. How am I supposed to work under those conditions? I asked Caroline what type of float she wanted to make and I could hear the passion in her voice as she said, “I don’t care.”

I scoured our playroom in a desperate attempt to figure out some sort of plan using something we had on hand, but a float with the theme of “Dried-Out Playdough” has been done to death. Finally, I noticed the Little Mermaid Ariel Barbie smirking at me from the top of the Barbie bin. We’ll see who’s smirking after I hot glue her bottom to a shoebox.

Caroline loved the idea of a mermaid float. We went to Michael’s to buy yet more craft supplies and then came home and got to work.

Here is the finished mermaid float.

You will notice that Ariel is kind of reclining back on her hands. It’s not that she’s really that relaxed, but rather that I had to hot glue her hands to the float to get her to stay since that big flipper tends to make her a little bottom heavy.

Caroline brought the float to school yesterday and I have to say I struggled with my float pride as I watched her carry it into school until I saw a little girl walking behind her who was carrying a float with an entire log cabin built on top from what appeared to be real wood.

Five dollars says it’s the same kid that had the battery-operated horse last year.

Show off.