Fashion

Yesterday afternoon Caroline wanted to go swimming at Mimi and Bop’s house. I dug through the drawer that contains all my swimsuits and decided to wear an old tankini that I’ve had forever. So I pulled the bottoms on and they were huge. Without a second thought I began an internal congratulatory speech to myself on my incredible shrinking bottom.

And then I realized I had on the bottoms that went with my old maternity bathing suit.

Good times.

But for a fleeting moment in time, I was queen of the world. With an impossibly small rear end.

So, based on the questions it would seem that this summer is the season for twentieth high school reunions. I actually have one more year until my high school reunion but for some reason it doesn’t make me feel any younger to say, “Well, I just graduated from high school NINETEEN years ago.”

It seems like just yesterday that I was curling my hair with a teeny-tiny curling iron and dancing to Erasure.

Of course for all y’all know that may actually be how I spent yesterday. While wearing my maternity swimsuit.

Here are the questions.

1. Heather asks: “My 20 year high school reunion is next month and I want to buy something special to wear. I am approx. 5 foot 6 inches, blonde hair and have recently lost alot of weight…going from a 12 to a 6. The Friday night “mixer” is at a trendy nightclub downtown and the dress is casual. The Saturday night dinner is “business casual” at a fancy dinner restaurant.”

You are so lucky to have graduated in 1988 because I bet fifty dollars that your senior t-shirt used the word “great” to rhyme with eight. I was the class of ’89 so we were stuck with using the word “fine” which works but doesn’t really convey the true awesomeness of being a senior in high school.

Anyway, I think what you wear Friday night depends on your personal style. I would probably wear some really great jeans with a fun top, cool jewelry and heels. I also really like this tunic top. Or you could do something really fun and summery like this.

But you could also do a casual shiftdress or halter dress with some cute sandals if that’s more your style.

As for Saturday night, I’d go with something classic and sophisticated like this. Or if you want something a little more fun you could wear something like this dress. I also adore this dress although it is pricey, however I’d never wear it with those shoes they have on the model. WRONG. ALL WRONG.

I think the important thing is to make sure that you feel cute and comfortable in whatever you choose and that if an Erasure or, even better, some Debbie Gibson or Lisa Lisa and The Cult Jam song comes on you’ll have the mobility you need to dance.

Have fun!

2. Jennifer asks: “My 20 year reunion is this summer. I live in Washington state and August will be anywhere from 65 to 95 degrees. I love structured things (vests, jackets, etc…) Little larger on the top and the “girls” are quite shy. There are three events. 1. Dressy casual event for grads only. 2. Nice dinner for spouses too. 3. Family day at one of the grad’s house with swimming, boating, etc… HA! Will not be caught dead in a bathing suit at the ‘ol 20 year – but would like to wear something fun.

Okay, first check out some of my above suggestions to Heather. Some of them may work for your dressy casual event and the nice dinner. Oh, but I will tell you that I think this dress is a really cute dressy casual look.

I think the Family Day is the tricky part. I am willing to bet that you won’t be the only one not wearing a swimsuit because why would a person want to do that to themselves? Unless you’re Heidi Klum. I would totally wear a bathing suit to every event at my high school reunion if I were Heidi Klum, plus I’d have my husband, Seal, get up and sing “Kiss From a Rose” because hello! COOLEST PERSON AT THE REUNION.

Anyway, I think what you wear for Family Day depends on the level of activity you think you’ll engage in. If you just want to hang out on a lounge chair and look great, then I’d wear something like this cute dress from J. Crew or this maxi dress which could always be worn over a swimsuit. Gap also has a really simple linen dress.

Of course you may want to go a little more casual and comfortable because, unlike me, you may be the type of person who might like to participate in something more strenuous than lying in a chair. In that case you could wear some dark denim bermuda shorts with a cute shirt and some summer sandals.

Or you could go even more casual with these shorts, a good white t-shirt, and flip-flops. This dress would also be a really comfortable, practical option with flip-flops.

I hope that helps!

And on that note I’d like to wish the entire class of 1988 my best wishes for their twentieth reunion. In the immortal words of Whitney Houston, “Oh! Wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. Yeah! Wanna dance with somebody. With somebody who loves me.”

Now those are lyrics that really meant something.

One last thing because I am curious and nosy, who attended their twentieth high school reunion and if so, did you have fun?

And if you’re younger than thirty-seven, I realize you haven’t had the opportunity yet, unless you were some sort of child prodigy. In which case, what’s it like to be a child prodigy?

Y’all have a great Friday!

This is normally where I like to have some fashion story that may or may not relate to anything else I’ll write about, but I am at a loss right now.

I was so disappointed that Jim didn’t propose to Pam on The Office that it’s just hard for me to concentrate.

But on the plus side, I now know that if the devil explodes and evil is gone forever that it’s appropriate to throw a beach party.

And if you don’t watch The Office then you have no idea what I’m talking about. Please do yourself a favor and spend your summer in front of the T.V. catching up on the previous seasons.

Oh sure you could spend it outside at picnics, the beach, and pool parties, but that’s such a cliche’.

Dare to be different and just sit inside with the a/c blasting while you fall in love with Dwight Schrute.

Unless the devil explodes and we’re all invited to a beach party.

Now, on with the questions.

1. Shannon asks: “A lot of the tops and dresses you post are super cute, but i just can’t get the pregnant feeling out of my head when I wear something like that. I’m a size 6, but i still feel like they aren’t that flattering on me. Is there a certain body type these are best for? I am pretty curvy (dd chest and a little hippy). ”

There has been many a time over the last year of fashion that I’ve tried on various tops and questioned whether or not they made me look pregnant. Because if I bought a top, wore it, and had someone ask me if I was pregnant, then I would have to take it out in the backyard and burn it. While weeping and crying.

But the styles do invite that question and while it has always been my personal belief that you shouldn’t ask a woman when her baby is due unless you see her in a backless gown being wheeled into Labor and Delivery, there are always those people that use the question as a conversation opener.

I think there are a few keys to wearing the style. First, if you are busty, do not wear an empire waist line. It will just accentuate that area. Second, if you’re going to wear a loose, flowy top then wear some fairly fitted jeans or pants on the bottom. A long, flowy top will look much more flattering if it’s worn over something that’s more streamlined. Billowy tops with full bottoms will just look dumpy.

And last, if you don’t want to accentuate your hips (and really, who does?) then make sure the tops you choose either hit above the hips or well below the hips. A top that lands right on your hips will just make you look wider. This tunic top is a good example of a style that might work for you since it’s longer and isn’t fitted under the bust.

All that being said, there are a bunch of cute shirts right now that might be a more flattering style for you. Check out this. And this. And this.

2. Melissa asks: “What kind of jeans would you recommend for someone who is 30 and has no bottom to fill up the back of a pair of jeans?”

Oh Melissa. How I wish I were an expert on this topic. Unfortunately, with the exception of the fall I was seven years old, I have never suffered from the issue of not having a bottom to fill up a pair of jeans.

Although I spent a few years in college suffering from the opposite problem. Too much bottom, too little jeans.

However, I am going to make a few suggestions based on my five minutes of research.

Citizens of Humanity jeans are supposed to do wonders for your derriere.

On a completely random note, I saw a t-shirt the other day that had the outline of Wisconsin and said, “Wisconsin. Come Smell Our Dairy Air.”

It made me laugh for a minute and a half.

But that’s off topic.

I also love Joe’s Jeans because they come in a variety of different fits and styles for various figures.

Your best bet is to go to a nice department store like Nordstroms and ask the salespeople to help you. They are experts at finding the right jean for the right body.

And let me just say, you will NEVER EVER regret spending money on a great pair of jeans. A really nice, well-fitting pair of jeans will serve you well for years to come. In fact, I will even be as bold to say that if you are going to splurge on one fashion item, I would make it a pair of jeans. There is nothing else that you will wear more.

Unless of course you never wear jeans.

Anyway, if there’s anyone else out there suffering from the no bottom syndrome, please share if you’ve found a great brand of bottom-enhancing jeans. Or you could always order a pair of these. Sweet mercy, I can’t even imagine.

Oh, and check of Zafu.com. They will suggest the right brand of jeans based on your personal profile.

3. Judi asks: “I just started a new job. Trouser jeans and capris are acceptable attire, as well as dresses or skirts. My friends who work there assure me that most people lean towards the casual. I have always worn pantsuits or skirts with tailored blouses to work. I want to fit in, but I also want to ‘stand out’ and appear professional. Plus, I don’t think I would be bringing my ‘A Game’ wearing jeans and flip flops. What should I wear?”

I think you already have most of the pieces you need to create the perfect business casual wardrobe. I would just mix and match the pieces you already have with a new pair of trouser jeans and a few casual shirts like this or this.

Then you can wear some of the tailored blouses with your trouser jeans and the pair the casual shirts with your suits and skirts. This will give you a polished yet casual look.

Here are a few great relaxed work outfits from Ann Taylor.

Good luck with your new job!

And that’s all I’ve got for today.

Y’all have a great Friday!

Many things surprised me about motherhood; going weeks without a good night’s sleep, how much you can love someone who initially just uses you for food and shelter, and discovering that Dino Nuggets actually taste pretty good, especially when they’re dipped in ranch dressing.

But the thing that surprised me most of all was the realization that motherhood requires you to wear a swimsuit on a daily basis all summer long.

It doesn’t seem fair considering that part of becoming a mother often means carrying a child and watching your stomach grow beyond all reasonable proportions. Not to mention the fact that your rear end also gets larger in spite of the fact that you’re not actually carrying anything in there.

And there is nothing like having a newborn in the house that will make a woman put away her body weight in some M&M’s or any other chocolate substance that can be found.

Then that first summer post-child rolls around and you discover it’s like some Mommy Code of Honor to suit up and join the other mamas around the swimming pool. The only saving grace is that you’re all in it together.

Except for the mom who spends every waking minute at the gym and has the abs of a sixteen year old, because no one wants to sit next to her for obvious reasons.

Last year I read Nora Ephron’s book “I Feel Bad About My Neck”, which is hysterical by the way, and as she talks about growing older she makes the comment that if she had known then what she knows now she would have worn a bathing suit everywhere she went throughout her twenties.

Amen sister.

And Nora, if you’re reading by any chance. Love you. Love your writing. Please quit reading or I will get nauseated thinking that Nora Ephron might be reading something I wrote.

Anyway, since wearing a swimsuit is a reality for many of us, let’s get started.

First, if you are looking for a cheap swimsuit then head to Target, Walmart or TJ Maxx. I have spent many years wishing that I could wear an inexpensive swimsuit, but it’s just not possible. I need a little help from a little friend I like to call UNDERWIRE. And Target doesn’t bother with underwire in their swimsuits.

Plus, if I’m going to be wearing such a small amount of clothing then I don’t want a $10.00 strap being all that stands between me and complete humiliation at the neighborhood swimming pool.

I received a lot of different questions about swimsuits, but ultimately everyone was asking something along the lines of “Where can I find a swimsuit that performs miracles and can walk on water?”

And the answer is nowhere. It does not exist.

But here are some suggestions that may help you in your quest.

The first place I would look is Lands End. One really cool thing about the Lands End site is that you can enter in your size and measurements and it will create a virtual model in your size. And then you can try various swimsuits on the virtual model.

However, we all know that a computer generated image isn’t going to have any stretch marks, cellulite or girls that have suffered the effects of nursing three children, but it still gives you an idea. A guideline, if you will.

Let’s start with the suit favored by many a mama. The tankini.

Here are a few really cute tankinis from Lands End that are stylish and offer great support. I love this halter tankini that comes with a coverup skirt. And how cute is this giraffe print tankini that comes with underwire and built-in SPF 50? Plus it has ruching which camouflages the tummy area.

Why it’s a miracle of modern engineering.

And here’s another tankini that comes with bottoms with a side-tie. I personally believe that the side-tie is very flattering because it creates some kind of illusion, but maybe that’s just me. I have no scientific proof.

Maybe I could conduct a highly scientific experiment regarding the side-tie one and enter it in a Science Fair.

Aerin Rose also makes really great swimsuits with good support that come in regular and plus sizes. And I love that you can order the bottoms and tops separately. Here’s a tankini from Aerin Rose. I love the pattern.

I adore this tankini by La Blanca from Nordstrom but, alas, it has no underwire so we are not meant to be. However, if you can live without the underwire I think it’s just darling.

Okay, so now for the traditional bikini. I know many of you may balk at the idea of wearing a bikini but I am spreading the swimsuit love to everyone. So here are a few that I love.

Have I mentioned that I love Aerin Rose swimwear? Because I do. I really, really do. This is a great swimsuit and you can choose from various bottom and top styles depending on what you like and feel comfortable in.

Freya also makes really good suits, like this one.

J.Crew has all kinds of different suits and offer mix and match bottoms and tops. Love that.

The one-piece is experiencing a bit of a resurgence. I just don’t know that I can go back to a one-piece swimsuit. It reminds me too much of the black one-piece with multi-colored polka dots with faux buttons down the side that I wore throughout much of junior high. I have one-piece issues, but there are some good ones out there and nothing will hold in your stomach better than having it covered up.

That is an actual scientific fact.

Lands End makes a suit called the slender suit that supposedly makes you look one size smaller than you really are. Of course the real question is can you look two sizes smaller if you wear two at the same time? Because that would be gold, baby, gold.

Here’s a one-piece in a fun zebra print.

And here’s one with a ruffle detail which I really like.

A few important things to keep in mind while shopping for swimsuits no matter what your style and personal preference.

1. Make sure you actually move around in it like you will when you wear it. Bend over, lift your arms, and move around to make sure everything stays in place. Because when your child takes off a full speed towards the deep end of the pool, you don’t want to have to worry about the girls falling out in mid-run.

And, hypothetically speaking, if your pool has a brand new slide that you decide to go down to impress your daughter, you don’t want to have to worry about almost losing your bottoms. Hypothetically speaking.

2. On that point, try different sizes to get the right fit. If the bottoms don’t have enough coverage, then try different bottoms. Going up a size isn’t going to necessarily help and may just give you saggy bottom syndrome once they are wet.

3. As painful as it may be, look at yourself in a three-way mirror to make sure everything you want covered is actually covered. Just a quick look is all it takes, don’t torture yourself.

4. Last of all remember that NO ONE will be more critical of how you look in a bathing suit than you. Every other mama is a lot more worried about how she looks than how you look. Find something comfortable that you feel good in and call it a day.

In case you haven’t found what you’re looking for, here are a few more links to some sites that have good swimwear selections. Beachbliss, Figleaves, Swimsuits for All, Lion’s Lair Specialty Swimwear, and Best Swimwear.

And just remember, a little fake tan makes everything look better.

That’s yet another scientific fact.

Which brings us to a grand total of three scientific facts in one post.

It’s a new Big Mama record.

Happy Friday, y’all.

You know those moments in your life where someone says something to you that proves that they really know you? That they have seen deep into your soul?

I had one of those yesterday.

I have been putting off going to get my hair cut because I’ve been lacking a clear hair direction. It’s grown out quite a bit since I got it cut in early February and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cut it off again or just add some layers.

It’s a wonder I sleep at night.

But I decided last week that I needed to do something because the South Texas humidity has officially set in and my hair gets very large in the humidity, so I called my hairdresser and scheduled an appointment.

And because I was so desperate, yea even frantic to get my hair cut, I scheduled an appointment for Thursday at noon even though I knew I’d have to take Caroline with me.

Anyway, she was actually really good other than the fact that she wanted to collect all my hair trimmings and take them home.

After my hairdresser had blown my hair dry, we began to have the discussion I dread.

Bangs. Do I still want them?

How far back do I want them to go?

How long should they be?

Just remembering it makes my head hurt.

So I finally just told her to cut them like she did last time even though I know they’ll need to go through two weeks of intensive flat iron training and some growth before I really like them again.

As she clipped them back to start cutting I heard Caroline’s little voice say, “Mama? Are you sure about this? I don’t know if I’m sure about this. Are you sure?”

I know that over the years Caroline and I will have many times that we won’t understand each other. Times where we will frustrate each other to the point of weeping and gnashing of teeth. But in that moment we were one in the spirit of wanting to prevent a coiffure tragedy.

I love her.

And I realize this has nothing to do with fashion, but it does have to do with beauty and external appearance so just go with me here.

On to the questions.

1. Erica asks: “I’ve recently lost 30 lbs – going from a size 10 to a size 4. For the first time in a long time, I’m able to wear flattering clothing, however, I’m a little discouraged with the Spring styles (i.e. trapeze/swing tops, madras shorts, etc.) In addition to that, my budget is limited, so forking out $60.00 for a shirt is out of the question. Can you give me some classic, but trendy must-have’s for this (and next) season, that are flattering for a 35 year old mother of two?”

Congratulations, Erica. That’s an incredible accomplishment!

It’s hard for me to know where to start because I don’t know what you already have in your closet, but I’m going to assume you don’t have too much at this point.

I would start with a great pair of jeans. For me personally jeans are the glue that hold my closet together. Once you have a great pair of jeans then all you need are a few cute tops and you’re ready for anything.

Except maybe a formal occasion.

Since you don’t like madras shorts, I would suggest some dark denim shorts like these. Gap actually has another pair very similar to these that are on sale in the store right now but I couldn’t find them online. And while you’re at Gap you may want to get this skirt and you can wear it with t-shirts or tanks all summer long.

Here’s a cute skirt from Forever 21, which is also a great place to find affordable, trendy blouses like this one.

I also love these simple knit dresses from Old Navy. Since I haven’t seen them in person I’m not sure about the length but they would look cute with some leggings if they’re too short.

Have fun shopping.

2. Nicole asks: “My husband and I were invited to a gala, which not something we’ve ever attended. What in the name of the Clampetts do I wear? I want something more trendy than a black cocktail dress, but I don’t want to be out on a fashion limb, either. Any ideas would be fantabulous. Thanks!”

Is it a Regatta Gala? Because I’ve always wanted to attend a Regatta Gala.

And I hope I’m not too late answering this question because then I’ll just feel terrible.

If I ever had to attend an event in the evening that required anything dressier than my hula girl pajamas, I would wear something like this dress because hello gorgeous. Or this one.

This one is also really pretty and I adore a little drama in a dress.

Here’s one that is just a gorgeous color.

I’ve now spent the better part of an hour looking at evening dresses and am now wondering if P would think it was weird if I just delegated one night a month as Black Tie. Can you wear a cocktail dress while you watch The Office and eat leftover fajitas?

Okay that’s all the official questions for today, but several people have emailed me and asked about the shirt I was wearing in my post from earlier this week and wanted to know where I got it.

I fell in love with that shirt when I first saw it in the window of a little local boutique. I knew we must be together forever. And then I fell even more in love when I found out it was handmade by a woman right here in San Antonio and she only makes a few of each shirt design. Then I saw the price and knew that I was seeing the hand of God’s provision in my fashion life, especially since I have seen shirts kind of like it at Neiman’s right now for well over $100 American dollars.

So I did a little research for anyone who may be interested and found some similar shirts.

The internet is a marvel.

You can find them here or here. Or even on Ebay.

And they won’t set you back too many pesos.

Neiman’s has this embroidered t-shirt for $110.00.

Or you can just come to San Antonio, head down to the market and buy one for less than $20.00, then head next door for chips and hot sauce.

God bless America.

Y’all have a great Friday!

If there was ever a day to read Fashion Friday then today is that day.

I have found a fashion item that has singlehandedly changed my life. And you might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not.

Because I NEVER, NEVER, EVER exaggerate.

I wouldn’t exaggerate in a MILLION YEARS.

The other day I went into a local boutique called Adelante, which is one of my very favorite stores, and I was introduced to the garment I have been searching for lo these many years.

It’s called The Chickie.

What is a Chickie you may be asking? I’ll tell you.

A Chickie is your friend.

Gulley and I had spent the whole morning shopping and tried on several shirts like this one and this one. But each time we’d decide that it was too low cut and we’d have to wear a tank top under it to make it work.

This is unacceptable for two reasons.

1. South Texas is hot. Superfluous layers are of the devil when it’s 85 degrees outside and it’s only April.

2. Tank tops add an extra layer of bulk. NO THANK YOU, SIR.

The Chickie is just like wearing a sports bra over your regular bra. It turns any top that could potentially leave the girls hanging out there for the world to see, into a nice, modest top by providing cleavage coverage.

It achieves a perfect balance of fashionable yet practical that makes my heart sing. And oh, the shirts that I will be able to wear now without having to feel like a stuffed baked potato wrapped in foil.

Go here and get one for yourself.

All I can say is HOORAY FOR MODERN TECHNOLOGY.

The DVR. The cell phone. The Chickie.

Now for the questions.

1. Liz asks: ” I am looking for ‘the perfect white tee’. Does it exist? I keep seeing paper thin tees that leave me wondering, should I wear a flesh-colored bra underneath, white tank, etc.?”

I spent years, YEARS, in search of a white t-shirt that I could actually wear by itself without the whole world knowing what kind of bra I had on. Two years ago, I found it. The elusive, perfect white t-shirt.

The Banana Republic short-sleeve timeless tee made of pima cotton with just a hint of stretch.

I cannot express how much I love these t-shirts. I buy two new ones in various colors every Spring.

And while they are a little more expensive than a Target t-shirt, they are worth it. I have a hot pink one that I’ve worn for the last four years. It’s barely faded and hasn’t shrunk at all even though I just throw it in the dryer.

If y’all have any other recommendations, share the t-shirt love in the comments.

2. Christy asks: “In my opinion Crocs are some of the ugliest shoes on the market. Admitedly since the company’s getting creative, they’re not quite so bad, but the colorful clog versions look like garden shoes. Do you consider it acceptable to wear them to the grocery store, or as was suggested to me, to NYC?

Yes. I would wear them to the grocery store.

No. I wouldn’t wear them in NYC.

But, honestly, I don’t own a pair. Not because they offend me, but because I am partial to my Reef flip-flops.

However, I think these are actually pretty cute. I wouldn’t kick them out of my closet.

3. Cynthia asks: “I have horrible legs (varicose veins -thanks to three lovely children) so I DO NOT wear shorts except for at the gym in August. Can you suggest some fun, cheap, and stylish capri pants AND what shoes to wear with them.”

Oh pregnancy. It is the gift that keeps on giving long after the fun and the morning sickness is over. Don’t be afraid to use those varicose veins to your advantage. Someday when those kids stay out too late, don’t be afraid to greet them at the door wearing shorts so that you can point to your veins and let them know that it’s all their fault. Guilt is a mother’s tool.

When I think cheap and stylish, I think Old Navy. They have these cute capri pants on sale for $20.00. And for an even more casual look to wear to the playground, they have these.

I actually just bought this pair from Gap. They are on sale for $23.99 (We all know that means TWENTY-FOUR DOLLARS Gap. You’re not fooling us.) I like them because they are very lightweight, plus I like my capris to hit between my calf and my ankle as opposed to just below the knee which I think is a tricky length.

And a word of caution, be careful with the denim capri. That look can go quickly south and fly towards the land of bad before you know what hit you. If you want a denim capri, look for something like this. A darker wash and the right length are key.

As for shoes, see Crocs and Reef flip-flops in question 2.

4. Ruth asks: “What is the deal with long flowy skirts? I have several and I love them. I think they’re flattering and feminine, but I sometimes question if they are seriously outdated. But I see that Sundance and Coldwater Creek are continuing to sell them, so does that mean I can keep wearing them? I’m a youngish, not-heavy, not-short, 50 year old mother of 5. Your thoughts?”

Ruth included the link to this skirt and this skirt.

So here are my thoughts, since you asked. No, I don’t think long, flowy skirts are currently the trendiest thing out there. However, I think by the time you’re in your mid-30’s there is a line between being trendy and being age appropriate. I mean mini-skirts worn with leggings are really trendy right now, but you know what the odds are that I’d wear an outfit like that?

About the same that I’ll get to sleep through the night tonight with a 90% chance of serious thunderstorms that are certain to wake Caroline up. Never gonna happen.

Fashion should be about what makes you feel pretty and comfortable. Trends come and go. The important thing is to find your own personal style and go with it. I think both of those skirts are very pretty and feminine. Look at this beautiful long skirt I found at Anthropologie. I think the long skirt is beautiful, even if it’s not trendy. Plus, who can argue with Anthropologie?

And since several of y’all have asked about skirts, I searched for a few summer skirt options. This one from Boden. Here’s one at Target.

This one is a peasant-type skirt at Target. This one from Walmart is really cute. And here’s another simple one from Walmart.

Gap has some darling ruffled skirts right now that come in a bunch of bright, summer colors. Oh, and I have to show this one from Boden because, well, I adore it.

That’s all I’ve got for today.

Oh, except that I bought Caroline a pair of Jellies at Target today.

Jellies.

Next week we’re going to find her some twist-a-beads.

Y’all have a great Friday!