Fashion

I suppose I could discuss Easter fashions and whether or not I have purchased a new Easter dress this year. (I haven’t)

Or I could talk about white patent shoes and how I believe they don’t really work for anyone over the age of ten.

However, all that pales in comparison to this.

“I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness” Isaiah 61:10

Any hope, any peace, any joy I find in this life is rooted in the fact that He has dressed me in a garment of salvation through His sacrifice on the cross.

And there is no fashion that’s better than that.

Okay, I have to be totally honest with y’all. And please remember as I bare my fashion soul, that everyone makes mistakes. As we travel this fashion world, we can all use a little guidance.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of bad fashion, thy InStyle and thy Vogue, they comfort me.

In fact, I have spent some time undergoing some fashion therapy with The Other Gulley (Gulley’s sister) through email this week. I have a seersucker suit that I purchased from Banana Republic about two years ago when I was imprisoned in corporate America and I needed to figure out how to make it translate to a more casual look.

She suggested a navy tank and could not have been more right. It’s exactly what it needed, plus I’m going to get the pants hemmed to a length that doesn’t require three-inch heels and will allow for a fun, cute sandal such as this.

Any other suggestions are appreciated because I yearn for knowledge.

When it involves fashion.

Not so much if it involves algebra.

So, back to my error in judgement. I have made at least two references to these shoes from Payless. Here they are:

See? They look kind of cute, don’t they? The whole cork thing is kind of in right now and I enjoy the whole Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company vibe.

Except I’d never wear these with terrycloth short-shorts.

The problem is I’d never seen these shoes in person. And two days ago I drove to Payless because I thought they might be really fab with my seersucker suit.

Wrong.

What doesn’t really show up in the picture is some unfortunate faux-leather gold trim that is reminiscent of something you might see on a Bratz doll. Also not pictured, the pain and impending surgery that will be required if you decide to wear four-inch heels purchased from Payless.

Therefore, after further research, I withdraw my recommendation for these shoes. Unless you’ve already bought them and adore them, in which case I’m sure they are lovely on you.

So, we have questions.

1. Several people have asked a question along this basic line: “What shoes should I wear for everyday comfort with my trouser jeans, which are designed to be worn with heels?”

Here’s the thing about the trouser jean, they really are made to be worn with heels because they are a dressier jean. I am the first to admit that this makes them a little sketchy for day-to-day wear because some days just require a good, flat shoe. But with the wide leg of the trouser jean, you really need a heel to balance them out and not look dumpy, unless of course you’re six feet tall.

The trick is to find a shoe with some sort of heel that is attractive and yet comfortable. Maybe something like this or this.

Or check out what has happened to Crocs. I don’t know if I’d actually wear these, but it’s a cool concept and definitely answers the comfortable heel question.

But if you just have to wear flats, I think the only way to get away with it is to buy another pair of trouser jeans and have them hemmed to a length that can be worn with flats so they don’t drag the floor and look sloppy. Any good tailor will know what you’re talking about when you ask them to leave the original hem.

This is crucial to getting jeans hemmed because otherwise you will incur the same tragedy I did back in fifth grade when my Me-Ma got my Jordache jeans hemmed and the tailor used a bright gold thread that was more along the lines of OOH LA LA SASSOON than the more sophisticated Jordache brand.

Don’t let that happen to you.

2. Mrs. M asks: “I’ve just found out that the garden party I’ll be attending in May is a Kentucky Derby theme complete with hat parade. I need suggestions on my dress and hat and where on earth do I find it and oh by the way I’m on a serious budget so the entire ensemble should definately be less than $100. Also, what should my husband wear?”

Why am I never invited to cool things like a Kentucky Derby party complete with a hat parade? Because I live in Texas? Because I don’t know anything about horses? Because I am in a stage of life where I’m only invited to toddler birthday parties and all the icing from the “Dora the Explorer” cake would ruin a nice hat?

But enough about me and my lack of entree into the equestrian world. Let’s talk about you and the fact you get to wear a hat.

Target has some really festive dresses right now. Check out this one. And if you’re not a hot pink kind of girl, it comes in a yellow, green or even black. But since I am a hot pink kind of girl, I adore this one.

You could also do a sheath dress, like this. Or maybe a strapless cotton dress, like this. Or something really pretty and feminine, like this dress.

As for hats, it will depend on the dress you choose but remember the Kentucky Derby is all about the big, bold hats. I adore this one because my belief is go big or go home. But then again, I’m from Texas. That’s pretty much our state motto.

But you could always go for something a little more subdued, like this. I’d look at Target, JC Penneys, and a few other department stores to see what kind of reasonably priced hats you can find, but remember to have fun with it.

As for your husband, you mentioned seersucker, but are worried he’ll be too hot in a jacket. I would definitely go with the seersucker and have him wear a white button down. He can always take off the jacket and still look polished.

Have fun and see if you can get me an invite for next year. I’ll travel.

And that’s it for the questions today. I realize it’s a short Fashion Friday, but all the extensive hat research and my disappointment about not being invited to a Kentucky Derby garden party just wore me out.

Y’all have a great Friday!

Just to let y’all know, I apparently have a cold. My throat is sore and I’m a little achy. I find it ironic that I started feeling bad less than 48 hours after I began my new Acai Berry regimen. So much for the boost to my immune system.

Someone asked me what I meant when I mentioned that P buys his own snake boots in my post about mens’ jeans. These are snake boots.

With these boots, he is singlehandedly bringing sexy back.

They come up to his knees, lace all the way up and are camoflauge. Supposedly they are made of material tough enough to withstand a rattlesnake bite.

I think we all know the truth is any self-respecting snake would take one look at those boots and decide no way is he biting into something that ugly.

I’m fairly certain you won’t ever see these boots on any kind of fashion runway. The hunting world and the fashion world rarely, if ever, cross paths. Well, unless you count all the booths at the Hunters’ Extravaganza that feature camo clothes for women accented with bedazzles.

And we should all know that’s not fashion.

However, I saw something yesterday from the Fall 2008 Benjamin Cho collection that made me think the two worlds might not be as far apart as I previously believed.

I don’t know about y’all but, considering the man I’m married to, this ensemble just screams domestic tragedy.

I think it’s safe to assume that Benjamin Cho hasn’t spent a lot of time around hunters.

So, on to the questions.

1. Kelly at Love Well asks: “I wear jeans six days out of seven. I vary it occasionally by wearing black yoga pants or other more-relaxed fare. But really — I wonder if it’s acceptable to be wearing denim every day of the week. Problem is, I don’t know what else to wear.”

I am going to set you free and let you know I think it is more than acceptable to wear jeans six days out of seven, especially when you live in a cold climate. Here in South Texas we have the luxury of being able to sport shorts on our winter-white bodies in the middle of January, but that’s not possible when you live somewhere that requires a parka.

Jeans are a mama’s best fashion friend. They can be dressed up or down depending on what the day holds. Embrace them. Love them.

This is the reason I believe that every woman should buy the best jeans she can afford. I spend more on my jeans than pretty much anything else in my closet, but they last for years and I wear them almost every day. I can’t say the same for the Nicole Miller dress hanging in my closet that I’ve only worn a handful of times.

I’m not saying that good jeans have to be expensive jeans, but take the time to shop around and find a few pairs that you love.

Now once summer comes around I think there are some other great options to denim, which is great because otherwise I would melt into a puddle from the heat. Oh my goodness, the heat.

I went in Old Navy on Wednesday (to return the Papaw blue jeans) and let me tell you that if you’re trying to not spend money, do NOT go in there. The cuteness, it was overwhelming. They have really cute shorts that come in different lengths. I particularly loved these and these. I also loved these because I am slightly obsessed with green these days.

And I know I’ve mentioned it once or a hundred times, but skirts or cotton dresses are fabulous for summer and can take you from the playground to lunch with the girls. I realize it’s white, but I adore this dress from Old Navy. And this is a fun skirt.

2. Rachel asks: “I need, desperately need, to find some jeans that are NOT made of stretch fabric, have an actual waist designed to be up where a waist truly is, and have actual room in the seat and thighs. Comfort is absolutely essential. If I wanted to be miserable I would put on hosiery. Please, Big Mama, do such things still exist, and can they be purchased in an actual bricks-and-mortar store?”

Oh, Rachel. You are in luck. The tides of fashion have turned in your favor and there are indeed options to low-rise jeans that can be found in actual stores.

I know many people aren’t fans of the low-rise jean, but if you’ve been watching American Idol this season you are well aware that high-waisted pants aren’t necessarily a good thing.

These are cute girls with darling figures, but seeing those high-waisted pants makes me want to curl up in the fetal position. I won’t go back. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GO BACK.

So, how about a compromise? I know I talk about them every week as if I were being paid by the National Association of Trouser Jeans Manufacturers, but trouser jeans will look good on anyone. (by the way, if the NATJM exists, I would totally accept money)

Check out these jeans that are supposed to hold in your tummy and boost your rear. Why that’s a miracle wrapped in denim.

And if you’re not a fan of the trouser jean, then head to Gap. Their classic bootcut jeans are made to hit below the waist, but not so low that you have to worry about what color underwear you have on. I’ve also heard good things about their Long and Lean jeans. They’ve never worked for me personally, but I have a long and complicated history with Gap jeans. They turned their back on me at some point in the mid-90’s and I don’t know if we’ll ever get back the love we once shared.

3. Karen asks: “My 30th high school reunion is this summer. It is being held at a beach club in New Jersey, so it’s not even semi-formal – more dressy-casual. There will be people there in shorts and hawaiian shirts (God have mercy). I would like to appear 20 pounds slimmer without having to give up the thin mints. Any suggestions?

First of all, I think you need to dream bigger than that. Why not figure out a way to actually BE 20 pounds slimmer without having to give up the Thin Mints? That, my friend, would endear you to women everywhere who cannot put down the Girl Scout cookies.

When I think about the illusion of slimness, I always think black. Depending on the look you want, you could do something like this or maybe this paired with some long, black shorts (or cropped pants depending on how you feel about your knees) and some cute wedge heels.

I hope that helps point you in the right direction. You could also just look for a simple, black sheath dress and pair it with some fun, bright accessories.

That’s all I’ve got for today.

Oh, except for two bonus items that I must tell y’all about. Go to Target and get yourself this shirt for summer. They come in a bunch of colors and are very light and thin, so you’ll need to wear a tank underneath them. I don’t know if they are still on sale, but last week they were only $9.99.

And go to Old Navy and get these printed flip-flops. If you buy two or more pairs, they are only $4.00 a piece. That’s the price of a box of Girl Scout cookies and much more friendly to your hips and thighs.

Now I’m off to flush my Acai Berry capsules down the toilet and find some throat lozenges.

Oh I kid. I hate throat lozenges.

Y’all have a great Friday.

Okay, before I can get down to fashion business I just have to thank you all for your incredible comments from yesterday’s post. I cannot tell y’all how moved I was to read your emails and comments. There were some tears involved. Thank you for being so great and supportive.

Yesterday I checked my WordPress dashboard (which I love to do because I yearn for knowledge) and someone found Big Mama by searching for “What would Tim Gunn wear to Disney World?”.

I thought about it the rest of the day.

What would Tim Gunn wear to Disney World?

It’s like the WWJD of the fashion world.

I honestly don’t know the answer but I think it’s a safe bet that it wouldn’t be a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and tube socks pulled up to his knees, which is an outfit favored by many who attend the Magic Kingdom or, really, any amusement park in America.

My bet is he’d wear some nice slacks with a crisp button down with two buttons open at the top because hey! it’s Disney World and he’d be feeling loose and all devil may care.

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for all week, the top eight must have items for Spring and Summer.

Oh, did you think there would be ten?

Yeah. So did I. But I couldn’t come up with ten and I’m tired. To come up with ten I would have had to include bright metallics and gladiator sandals, and I fundamentally disagree with both of those trends. I’m boycotting them.

Therefore I present the top eight must have items for Spring and Summer.

1. The full skirt

Skirts are your summertime friend. They are cooler than shorts and hide a multitude of eating too many Swiss Cake Rolls in the winter time sins. Plus, they make you look polished and put together without much effort. Everybody wins.

Here are a few skirts I would love to add to my skirt collection.

This one. Or this one in madras print. Or this one because y’all know I love Anthropologie with every fiber of my being.

2. Bright colors

Don’t be scared. I know that many of you, like me, lived through the neon years of the 80’s. One of my favorite outfits from high school was by well-known designer Santa Cruz and featured lime green linen pants and a neon pink and green striped shirt that I wore with the collar turned up. When I see the words Bright Colors, I think of that outfit.

I choose to not remember that I wore it with jelly shoes.

But we are living in kinder, gentler fashion times. Bright colors can be used in all kinds of different ways.

Here’s a bright, tiered knit top that would look great with jeans. Or maybe a pink wrap dress. Or this divine purse that I adore and I would totally buy if it were only $300 cheaper.

The point is you can have as much bright color or as little bright color as you’re comfortable wearing.

3. Trouser jeans

In theory, I love these trouser jeans in white for the summer.

However, it might be smarter, in reality, to find a pair in dark denim.

4. Feminine shirts

This kind of goes along with the whole skirt thing. I love that fashion has returned to pretty, girly things and there is something about them that just seems perfect for Spring.

I love this ruffled shirt. Or this one from Old Navy.

5. Neutrals

This seems to conflict with the bright colors, but really it’s just another option. When I think neutrals, I think shoes and handbags.

Here’s a great purse, although I kind of think my Mema might have had this exact same bag when I was eight or nine. And I love these shoes.

6. Global/Safari looks

All you need to know about the Safari look is that you should head to Old Navy immediately. I’m not sure what happened, but I think some buyer for the store got overwhelmed with keeping up with spring trends and just said, “Oh what the heck, let’s go all safari.”

Like this. And this. Or something like this, which isn’t safari, but apparently is global.

I don’t really know what that means. Maybe it means it’s worldly and sophisticated. Much like me as I sit here in my flannel pjs eating Sour Patch Kids.

7. Black and white

This may seem obvious, but White House Black Market is a great place to shop for black and white pieces. What a clever marketing scheme.

This is a great shirt. I love this dress. Oh, and this one too.

8. Big, bold jewelry

This is where you can tie in a trend to any outfit. Look for wooden chunky jewelry to get a global look. Or wear some bracelets or a necklace in a bright color. Look for some black and white pieces. Jewelry is your chance to make an outfit stand out.

This is far and away my new favorite place to look at jewelry. It is all absolutely beautiful and I can’t choose a favorite. I also haven’t ordered anything because I can’t make a decision. I am very indecisive, especially when it comes to accessories.

Of course, go look at this. And this. And this.

At those prices you can buy all three. You’re actually saving money by purchasing more jewelry.

I’m not sure that’s true, but it sounds really good in my mind.

That’s all I’ve got for today. Maybe by next Friday I’ll come up with two more trends so y’all don’t feel cheated. I just wouldn’t want that to happen. I’d feel terrible.

Hope you all have a happy Leap year day. (is that what this is called?)

And if you have any thoughts as to what Tim Gunn would wear to Disney World or any questions about the trends, let me know in the comments.

Today is Silly Socks day at Caroline’s school, so in true fashion we headed to Target around 4 p.m. yesterday in search of some socks.

Silly socks.

I thought about making some silly socks by doing something like sewing (Oh who am I kidding? I would use glue.) but I didn’t really have a good silly sock vision and Caroline was more than excited about some sparkly rainbow knee-high socks from Target. I’m not sure they are silly, but anything with a sparkly rainbow is definitely snazzy. And sparkly.

So, they are sparkly, snazzy socks.

Who am I to argue with that and insist on sewing (gluing) on some pom-pom fringe and googly eyeballs?

While we were at Target, I decided we should head over and look for some white sandals to go with Caroline’s Easter dress. I realize I am living in a fantasy world thinking it will be warm enough on Easter for her to wear white sandals. There hasn’t been a warm Easter in the last ten years and the fact that it falls on March 23 certainly isn’t going to help matters.

But I enjoy my fantasy world, so we searched for sandals. I looked for some in her size and found two different pairs. I pulled them out of the box and Caroline looked at the first pair, looked up at me, and said, “Oh Mama. Please tell me you’re kidding.”

Basically what I’m saying is I’m not sure I’m qualified to be doling out fashion advice to all nine of you who take me seriously. Clearly, my four year old doesn’t appreciate my taste in sandals.

I thought I was going to answer questions as usual this week, but then I caught up on my DVRed Oprahs and saw the one from earlier this week with Lloyd Boston and his fashion advice for women who have become “Schlumpadinkas” which is some sort of trademarked Oprah word for a woman who has given up on looking good.

Here’s my thought on that. I agree with it in theory. In fact, as I sat and watched Lloyd, while wearing my faded yoga pants and too-old-to-be-called-vintage Aggie baseball t-shirt, I seriously thought about whether or not I should be a little more dressed up on a daily basis. About that time I heard a little voice calling, “MAMA, I pooped! I need some help!”

Not really a job that requires a spiffy red trench coat.

However, there are days that require a little more than faded yoga pants.

Here is Lloyd Boston’s list of the 10 essential things every woman should own.

1. trench coat

Target has some really cute ones right now. Like this one.

2. black turtleneck

3. black trousers

I’ve always been able to find great black pants at Ann Taylor. I love these.

And black pants are worth paying a little more for. They are timeless and a great investment.

4. tunic

I love this one from White House Black Market.

Don’t panic, I wouldn’t wear it as a dress. I’d wear it with leggings or some dark denim jeans.

5. white jeans

Okay, honestly, I like the idea of white jeans in theory. And I like them on other people. I’m just not so sure that I am meant for a white jean. Especially at a time in my life when they are prone to end up with grape jelly handprints.

However, look how cute this pair is. I could get on board with a white trouser jean. Plus, it’s a great price.

6. dark denim jeans

7. black dress

8. white denim jacket or dark denim jacket

I love the denim jacket. It is a wardrobe staple for me. I have no desire to own a white one.

9. black skirt

My life would be complete if I thought I never had to wear another black skirt. I had many of them in my former life as a drug rep and I truly have no desire to wear one ever again. I might even break out in hives.

10. classic cashmere sweater

The great thing about cashmere is apparently the little goats from the Kashmir region are breeding like crazy, allowing retailers to offer cashmere at lower prices than in ye olden days.

I’m not really sure that has anything to do with the breeding habits of the goats, but it’s a good story and I’m sticking to it.

So, here’s what I want to know. Which of these ten items do you already have? Which ones would you like to have? And which ones would you wear on a regular basis?

Also, what is your must have item that you already own? The item you couldn’t live without?

Let’s discuss.

Also, next week at the request of all eleven of you, I am going to present my list of the must-have items for Spring. I know the wait will seem like an eternity.

Happy Friday.