Fashion

Welcome everybody, it’s finally here.

I’m sure many of y’all had to take a Tylenol PM last night just to help you sleep in spite of all the hype and anticipation.

I didn’t need the Tylenol PM, but I do find that a Hunt’s Chocolate Snack Pack is the perfect nightcap.

One Snack Pack and I’m all, Buenos Noches, Suckers.

I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m giddy with all the anticipation.

So, I thought long and hard for the better part of three minutes about what my own personal Fashion Fiesta! would look like. I finally decided that I’m going to keep it totally real and show y’all the items of clothing I would most likely have on my body if Ed McMahon were to show up unexpectedly at my door with one of those large checks.

Then, I will show you a few items I would like to go purchase with the aforementioned large check.

Do you hear me Ed? I’m here waiting. Waiting for my oversized check and the girl with the balloons to show up at my door.

First up is what I like to call the parade of t-shirts.

The observant reader will notice these are all college baseball t-shirts. Part of the reason for this is that I like baseball and part of the reason is that I received each of these t-shirts FOR FREE IN COLLEGE while I was a Diamond Darling for the Aggie baseball team.

For those of you playing at home, that means, at the very least, they are all over fifteen years old.

Clearly I am not one to quit on a garment just because it has a little wear. Or because it has SWC Champs 1993 on the sleeve, which is the equivalent of a neon sign declaring I am old.

But let me say a few words about these shirts. First of all, kudos to the cotton industry because WELL DONE, MY FRIENDS. You have created some superior garments that have withstood almost two decades of continuous wash and wear. And while they have all seen better days, there is nary a hole in any of these shirts.

And also, the Duke baseball shirt used to belong to Gulley but I either stole it from her sometime back in 1994 or she gave it to me. I’ll never give it back because it has become a part of me even though I’m not necessarily a Duke fan or really know anything about their baseball program.

Although I hear their basketball team is decent.

Next up.

Yoga pants.

Y’all didn’t think I just wore those t-shirts did you?

These are my beloved yoga pants. Looking at this picture either one of these pairs is too short or one is too long. Clearly, both are way faded and in need of replacement but we had a nice, cozy winter full of good times.

So, now that it’s hot enough to put the yoga pants out of their misery, what’s my casual go to?

Oh yes. The gray Soffe brand shorts favored by cheerleading squads all over America and some bright yellow Abercrombie shorts that I brought on my honeymoon. Ten and a half years ago.

Those are my backup t-shirts for when I grow tired of the baseball shirts because a girl needs options.

Next up, is what I wear when I’m actually in public doing something other than dropping Caroline off at school or hosting a hobo convention.

I bought that white shirt at Target and it is so comfortable, but it looks cute with my variety of pink bottoms and also with my jeans. It works for trips to the HEB, childrens’ birthday parties, and going out to lunch.

Here’s my other option.

This works well for when I get to the point in the summer where it’s so hot I’d like to just take off my skin and sit in front of an oscillating fan. I adore the skirt option and have a closet full of cotton skirts in various colors and prints.

I highly recommend the cotton skirt with tank or tee option depending on your comfort level in baring arms.

As for shoes, I have two different levels of footwear.

Cute shoes.

Practical shoes.

I will wear those black Reef flip-flops until there is a three-inch deep outline of my foot or the straps break, whichever comes first. They are the Hunt’s Snack Pack of my shoe inventory.

Comforting and will never let me down in my time of need.

I hesitate to even show y’all this last item because I don’t want to cause anyone to stumble in the tricky area of coveting what belongs to your neighbor.

If you are in fact now wondering how you yourself could acquire such a fine garment, then let me just go ahead and let you know it’s not possible.

Unless you can find a time machine to take you back to Old Navy for the summer of 2002.

And if you want to know how much I wear them, then I’ll confess that I had to pull them out of the dirty clothes to take this picture.

Remember how when you were in 8th grade and your Guess overalls were dirty and you’d beg your mom to please wash them because life would not be complete until you had your Guess overalls back in your closet, clean and ready to wear?

That’s how I feel about these shorts.

So, if Ed McMahon were to show up at my door and I could purchase a new summer wardrobe I’d probably buy these outfits. And these.

And this skirt.

So, you know, the entire Boden catalog.

I’d also throw in a few things from Anthropologie. Including this shirt.

Oh, and these shoes from Nordstrom.

But I still wouldn’t give up my baseball t-shirts and my Old Navy shorts because you can’t buy that kind of comfort anymore.

Except at your local Salvation Army.

I can’t wait to see what y’all have to share. Just make sure you leave the link to your specific blog post down below. If you don’t know how to link to a specific blog post, then go read this. I’ll close the Mr. Linky at midnight on Monday, April 13th and announce the winner of the new blog header on Monday morning.

Viva fiesta and Happy Friday, y’all!

If you’re looking for the Fashion Fiesta, click HERE and it will take you to the post with all the links!!

Okay, like I mentioned in last week’s Fashion Friday, I thought it would be fun to see what y’all have in your closets.

What do you wear on a daily basis? What’s your uniform? What piece of clothing can you not live without?

I want to see it all.

If you are concerned that bearing the contents of your closet will cause the internet to have to lift your fashion sense up in prayer, that’s okay. We are all one in the spirit of fashion and God isn’t afraid of a challenge.

In fact, I had long been envisioning a chocolate brown, wedge-heeled, sling-back shoe in my head. I knew I must have these shoes. The only problem was I hadn’t actually seen them anywhere. They were just an urban shoe legend.

Then, I saw the shoes I had been dreaming of at Steve Madden but, alas, they were $80.00. I spent the next few days in turmoil over whether I could justify such a purchase.

About a week later, I went to DSW Shoe Warehouse on a completely unrelated matter and there were my beloved shoes. On sale for $39.99. God is faithful and just to provide wedge heels in our time of need.

Which leads me to my next point about the Spring Fashion Fiesta.

What are the dreams you have for your closet? What piece of clothing or pair of shoes would you love to own? Is it a certain pair of jeans or an entire outfit?

We want to see it.

We want to see it all.

And, on Friday, I hope you’ll join in and show it to us.

I’ll have a Mr. Linky up at midnight, Friday April 11th. You can enter the direct link to your Fiesta post.

And for an added bonus, I’m going to draw a random number on Monday, the 14th. The winner will receive a free blog header design from Jules (and she has a waiting list, so you may have to wait just a little while).

Also, feel free to go here to get the code for the festive button that Jules designed to spread the word on your blog.

Que’ Divertido!

That means “WHAT FUN”!

Or not.

I really don’t know.

Viva Fiesta!

That means “Long Live the Party” or maybe “Paper Towel Party”.

Either way works.

Today I’m going to talk about something really controversial.

I believe that Gap installs skinny mirrors in their dressing rooms and you’ll never convince me otherwise.

I cannot explain how many clothing items I have bought at Gap because they performed miracles in the dressing room, only to try them on at home and realize I had been led astray by low lighting and skinny glass.

And don’t think for a minute that Gap wouldn’t resort to those kind of tactics. They are the same corporation that has tried to convince us that there are actually different versions of khaki pants.

On Wednesday, I did a little shopping at Gap. They had finally put this shirt on sale and I’d had my eye on it for awhile. But I knew it would go on sale because who are they kidding with that $49.50 price tag? No one who shops at Gap is going to pay that much for that kind of shirt.

While I was there I found two other things. A pair of white jeans and some dark denim shorts.

I don’t know why I found the white jeans so appealing, but they called out to me. And next thing I knew I was in the dressing room with them even though I knew better. We had no business being together. Any relationship we established would only end in tears and spilled grape juice.

Or worse, a chocolate handprint on my behind.

But they were so flattering and fit so perfectly. I took one look at them and knew if loving them was wrong, I didn’t want to be right.

So, I brought them home and imagined The Summer of The White Jean. They’d be so great with my hot pink t-shirt. They were made for my black tunic top. It was destiny that they be with my green button down.

There was only one problem. The skinny mirror at Gap deceived me. The white jeans were neither flattering nor did they fit well. It was all some sort of optical illusion. A scam. A ruse.

And now they’re back in their Gap bag awaiting their return to the racks at Gap where some other poor women will be deceived by the skinny mirror.

I’ve long suspected that Banana Republic also uses the skinny mirror, but I don’t have any hard evidence other than some camel-colored wool pants that I bought back in 2006. However, I love them so much that I’ll continue to live in denial rather than face the truth.

Fashion. Sometimes it’s all a pack of lies.

On to the questions:

1. Natalie asks: ” This summer I’m attending my cousin’s wedding. Anywho, I’ll be deflecting all the “why aren’t you married … how old are you again?” questions. So I need to look super cute and I’m hoping for some suggestions! The wedding is daytime, casual. I’m 5’0″. I feel like I look better in v-necks or halters than a strapless, and I have a short waist.

Is there really anything better than attending a wedding where everyone in attendance wants to know why you’re still single and then pushes you forward to make sure you catch the bouquet? I mean other than spending a day in jury duty with people who don’t use deodorant?

Yes, you need a cute dress that will assure Great Aunt Millie that just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean that you’ve started bringing home stray cats and dressing them in doll clothes.

So, here’s a couple of things that don’t just say “I’m single and I’m fabulous”, but might also catch the eye of any cute groomsmen who may be in attendance.

I love this jersey floral halter dress. Or you could go for basic black with something like this. Or you could go for something totally different with this green dress.

And if you don’t like any of those, go look at all the dresses at Bluefly right now. They are having a 40% off sale on all Spring dresses and have some darling stuff.

Hope you survive.

2. Elizabeth asks: “My (very new) boyfriend has invited me to his brother’s wedding. I want to get a cute but chic dress for it, but the only ones out there that I like are sleeveless but I was in motorcycle accident a few years ago, and have a scar on my shoulder, and haven’t really worn anything since that would expose the scar to the world. The wedding isn’t supposed to be too formal; I think its on a Sunday afternoon.”

First, let me just say that I bet that scar is a lot more noticeable to you than it is to anyone else. Plus, scars can be cool. I mean look at Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef. She is fabulously beautiful and her scar just adds to her mystique. It makes her seem tough and mysterious. Like she could beat up that entire room full of Top Chef wannabes.

But I understand that if it bothers you that you may not want it to show the first time you meet a whole group of new people. Wedding receptions tend to make people even nosier than usual, so when they quit asking all the single girls when they’re going to get married, they may want to know about your scar.

They’re called BOUNDARIES, people. Don’t be afraid of them.

So, here are a few cute dresses that may work.

I love this Ralph Lauren shirtdress. It’s simple, yet elegant.

This one is pricey, but I adore it. I am a fan of the yellow right now. But I realize that yellow makes some people feel violent.

And since it’s casual, you could always go with this silk wrap dress, which I have been admiring for the last few weeks.

I’ll tell you what I told Natalie. If you don’t like any of these, go check out the dress sale at Bluefly.

No, I’m not being paid by Bluefly. But if they wanted to pay me, I would totally accept.

I accept checks, cash and free clothes.

3. Cassandra asks: “I have let myself become Fashion-less. I have gained weight and use it as an excuse to wait to buy nice clothes, I use not having enough money as an excuse, I use being tired as an excuse to not put on any nice clothes I DO have, and wanting to be comfortable is another major excuse of mine for being Mrs. Frumpy. Truth is, I am in a habit of dressing bad and I am self conscious about accessorizing because I dont want to draw attention to myself cause I truly hate my size (14/16 I weight 195 5’8”). Where does a girl like me go when I need to get back in touch with my fashion side? “

Okay Cassandra. You sent me a picture of your family that I’m not going to post here for obvious reasons, but I just want to say that you are adorable. Do not fall into the trap of feeling bad about yourself.

I think there are many women who put off buying new clothes because they are thinking about the size they would like to be. But don’t put off buying some nice things because you’re waiting to lose weight. I think having a few nice things to put on makes a woman feel good about herself. It’s not about how much money you spend or if you wear a certain size, but if you look as if you care about yourself.

Of course, that being said I’d hate for y’all to see me when I take Caroline to school. I’m about one step away from pajamas most mornings, but most days I’ll come home and eventually make myself a little more presentable.

Here’s where I think you start. Go buy the nicest pair of jeans and the nicest pair of black pants you can afford. It’s not about the money, but it’s about the fit. Sometimes you have to spend a little more to get a good fit. Everyone is having Spring sales right now, so head to Ann Taylor Loft or Banana Republic and see if you can find some nice black pants or maybe a skirt on the sale racks.

Gap would be a great place to look for jeans and maybe even TJ Maxx. You just need to try different brands until you find something that you feel good in.

Once you have those two basic pieces, you can start looking for cute shirts to wear with them. Target is your friend when it comes to inexpensive, yet fashionable tops. Between the jeans, pants and the shirts you will look like you have a lot of clothes, but really you just have a lot of interchangeable pieces.

And for some great jewelry, check out Forever 21. They have great accessories at low prices. The right necklace can transform an ordinary outfit.

I hope that helps!

Okay, so that’s it for the questions today.

Now for BIG FUN.

Since it’s almost Fiesta time here in San Antonio, I decided it would be fun to have a little Fashion Fiesta here on the old blog. Next week, Friday April 11th, I’m going to turn the tables and let y’all share your fashion secrets and faux pas.

Write a post and show us what you would consider your standard uniform on a normal day. Jeans? Yoga pants? Ripped sweatpants that used to say “Adidas” and now just say “did”? Maybe a huge gray t-shirt that says “Duke Baseball” that you stole from your friend Gulley in college and still wear on a daily basis?

Let’s be honest. If you wear dresses and pearls every day, then we want to see it. We probably won’t like you anymore, but we want to know why you do it.

And you don’t have to actually be modeling these clothes, unless you are very brave. You can just lay them out on the bed or couch or what have you and take pictures of them. Do they mean something to you? Is there sentimental value?

Then, if you want, you can tell or show us what your dream outfit would be. If money or time or kids with grape jelly on their hands wasn’t an issue, what would you like to have in your closet?

The point is to have fun with it. Hence the word, FIESTA.

That means Party in Spanish.

I know that because I took four semesters of Spanish in college.

El burro es un animal de Mexico.

I’ll let y’all figure that one out.

So, stay tuned next week. Jules is designing a button for me that y’all can put on your blogs. I’ll have a Mr. Linky over here where you can link to your post.

And, BEST OF ALL, I’m going to make it a real FIESTA (which means party) and turn it into a little contest. On Monday, April 14th, I’ll use the random number generator to pick one of you. The winner will receive a FREE custom blog header design by the wonderful, talented Jules.

Oh, it’s just going to be more fun.

How will we sleep between now and next Friday?

Y’all have a good one.

You know what’s awesome? When I realize it’s 10:30 p.m. on Thursday night and I haven’t even started writing my Fashion Friday post. And really, the whole thing usually only takes about two to three hours.

Perfection.

Once again, procrastination has been totally worth it.

I’m so glad I decided to spend that time looking through back issues of Paula Deen’s magazine, filing my nails, and eating Red Hots.

But, seriously, you know what’s really awesome? All the comments y’all left yesterday. There is no way I could be that honest if y’all weren’t the best. THE BEST. Thank you.

So remember how last week on Fashion Friday I said I believed that white patent shoes are best reserved for girls under the age of ten? Well, I was out walking Scout and Bruiser on Monday morning and noticed an empty shoe box on the top of somebody’s recycling bin.

Go green, neighbor. Good for you.

And because I have some sort of voyeuristic fashion tendencies, I glanced to see what kind of shoes were once contained therein.

WHITE PATENT, WOMENS’ SIZE 9.

Well that is just unfortunate.

I’m going to get straight to the questions because I’d like to get to bed before 3 a.m.

1. Pinkmommy asks: “I am 5 months pregnant. My little sister’s best friend is getting married at the end of June, and the Princess is the flower girl. I will be 9 months pregnant. At a wedding. In the middle of summer. I don’t know what in the world to wear!!! I don’t want to look like a whale, I don’t want to stand out, and I don’t want to look like a whale. Please help!!!

Bless your heart. Being 9 months pregnant in the middle of summer is miserable enough without the prospect of having to get dressed up. I know of what I speak because Caroline was born in August and I spent most of the summer in a swimsuit sitting in a plastic kiddie pool while drinking out of the hose.

Not looking at all like white trash, by the way.

I think your best bet is to check out the Liz Lange maternity wear at Target because you don’t want to spend much money on a dress you’re only going to wear once.

I really like this one. And this one.

And if pregnancy has taken its toll on your arms and the sleeveless makes you cringe, then look for a lightweight wrap like this one to cover them up.

Although if memory serves, you’ll be so hot already that the thought of another layer will make you want to buy a bag of ice to sit on throughout the ceremony.

2. Amy asks: “My husband and I are traveling to New York with my dad in mid-April for a fun weekend. The typical highs that time of year are in the upper 50’s. When we go there, we walk A LOT, and I need a cute comfortable shoe.

I totally understand your pain. When Gulley and I went to New York a few years ago, I wore running shoes the whole time which were basically a neon sign on my feet saying TOURIST! TOURIST! But I couldn’t figure out what else to wear for all the walking.

Many people believe the cute, comfortable shoe is an urban shoe myth. But it exists. It really does. The trick is that you have to spend a little more money to get it. Any shoe that bears a Merona label is not going to cut it in New York. And Payless will make you search for a butter knife with which you can just amputate your feet on 5th Avenue.

You mentioned that in the past you’ve always worn a mary jane type shoe, but didn’t know if it would work since the weather will still be cooler. I think a mary jane would look great, but the problem may be that it won’t work with jeans because you may need a slight heel to compensate for longer hems on the jeans. Something like this might be perfect because it has a slight wedge heel.

It would look equally great with jeans or black pants. And really, that’s all you need. Some nice jeans and black pants with a few cute tops and jackets and you’re all set.

Or if a totally flat shoe would work, I adore these. And since animal prints really are the new neutrals, they’ll go with just about anything.

Hope y’all have a great time!

3. JanMary asks: I am going to Paris for 4 nights with my husband in May – for this 40th birthday – NO KIDS! I always hear about a capsule wardrobe – but I tend more to bring everything I might possibly need, to cover all eventualities. Can you help with how much I would actually need?

Hey, I have a question. Why is everyone taking fabulous vacations except me? You people are leading some jet set lifestyles. What is up?

Really, it’s totally fine. Really.

But on a serious note, I cannot tell you to what extent I am the wrong person to answer this question. I know there are people who can pack everything they need for a week-long vacation in a backpack, but I am not one of them.

My worst nightmare is being away from home and not having wardrobe options. Seriously, I have had nightmares about this. Think of me what you will.

So, my best advice is to pack a lot of black. It goes with everything and you might be able to get away with only packing one pair of shoes.

You may want to check out Chicos. They have an entire section of clothing called Travelers that is wrinkle-proof, plus it’s all 30% off right now. This dress might be a good basic that you could dress up or down.

Have fun in Paris, say hello to the Mona Lisa, and if you need me I’m sure I’ll probably just be at Target.

4. Full Hearts and Hands asks: “I have a 6 week old and she is my third. So, my belly looks like jelly. That is to say I have a belly that is bigger than usual and a budget that is small. But, I have to go to wedding in April and I’d also like to have a dressier outfit or two for church. But, I’d like the clothes to still look decent when I lose the weight (hopefully soon).”

Oh, you are in luck. This is a great fashion time to find clothes that are friendly to the belly area.

You could always do something like this dress. The black would be slimming, it can be dressed up or down, and it would still work after you lose some weight because it’s meant to be worn a little loose.

Or you could do something like this shift dress.

Dresses like these look current and pretty with the added benefit of not being fitted at the waist. If I were you, I’d go look at TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshalls to see what you can find.

If you’re willing to dig through some of the yuck, you can usually find some cute dresses for great prices.

5. Ranelle asks: “Is it true? Are pegged pants coming back?! Please say no!!”

Ranelle sent me this link to J.Crew featuring the pegged pant.

No. They are not coming back.

Just because some YAYHOO in the J.Crew catalog department decided to torture that poor model, doesn’t mean that it’s a trend. It’s just J.Crew’s way of trying to strike fear in the heart of American women and men (admit men, you did it it too. Just own it.) everywhere.

J.Crew has a sick and twisted sense of humor as evidenced by the fact that they think any man would wear these pants.

And that’s all the questions for today. However, I have two pieces of Fashion Friday business.

First, several of you have emailed and asked if I can do the links as some sort of pop-up instead of sending you to another page. And the answer is, I have no idea.

You people vastly overestimate my technological prowess.

But if someone out there will tell me how, I’ll gladly do it. Otherwise, we’re stuck clicking over.

Secondly, next week on Fashion Friday I’m going to announce a fun little spring fashion event. So be on the lookout. There will even be a prize.

I KNOW.

It will be hard to sleep between now and then.

Y’all have a great Friday!