Month: January 2008

  • The Big Boo Cast, Episode 9

    Oh and I bet some of y’all thought the podcast was a thing of the past just because we haven’t done one since Thanksgiving.

    But here it is. And while I don’t remember everything we talked about, I do know that the phrase “tooth apparatus” was used.

    If that isn’t enough to make you want to listen, then I don’t know what is.

    bigboobuttonsm.jpg

    Click here to listen on the web.

    Subscribe via iTunes here.

    Subscribe via RSS feed here.

  • It’s Sunday night. It’s 11:45.

    I know many of y’all are anxiously awaiting the hair retrospective. In fact, it’s probably been all you can do this weekend to reign in your anticipation.

    However, due to a late night cooking dinner for a big group of our friends and having a lot of fun, I am beat.

    And the hair retrospective remains unfinished.

    But I’m going to bed anyway because I am tired.

    So the history of my hair will be ready around lunchtime tomorrow.

    Although I am not sure the internet is really ready for some of the horror contained therein.

  • This will someday be a misty, watercolored memory

    P has been out of town for the last few nights and so Caroline and I have had a lot of quality girl time.

    Last night she begged me to build a fire in the fireplace and I agreed to attempt it even though my fire-building abilities are hit or miss. It took me a long time, and half a bottle of lighter fluid, but finally I managed to build a roaring fire while she cheered me on as if this fire was going to be our sole means of survival.

    As we sat side by side and admired our fire she put her little hand on my knee and said, “Mama, when you get older you’ll remember special times like this.”

    She is the light of my life.

    And also, for the past three nights, the stealer of my covers.

  • Five cents says it was the worst offering at show and tell

    Today started off with a tragic discovery.

    I had made myself a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookie dough for my dinner the night before because it’s a new year and I’m trying to eat healthier. Anyway, somewhere between my third and eighteenth spoonful I forgot to put the dough back in the refrigerator and it sat out on the counter all night.

    And honestly, I was so sad about it that I tried to convince myself that it was probably still okay. However, the fear of salmonella got the best of me and I put it in the sink while I continued to debate if it would really make me sick. I’m embarrassed to admit I finally turned on the faucet and filled the bowl with water to end my internal conflict over delicious cookie dough versus massive food poisoning.

    Then, since Fridays are Show and Tell Day at Caroline’s school, I had to find something that starts with the letter N. I was at a loss. Even now I cannot think of anything we own that starts with an N. But I couldn’t send her without something for Show and Tell because the other kids might point and laugh at our N deprived lives.

    I sent a nickel in a Ziploc bag.

    I cannot make this stuff up.

    Caroline told me the nickel was “awesome” and she was excited about it. I just hope someday next to her senior portrait in the yearbook it doesn’t say “kid who brought a nickel to show and tell”.

    At 1:00 p.m. I went and got my haircut. Yes, there will be pictures and commentary next week. I’ll just say that I did make a change, but nothing too drastic. And as BooMama’s sister told me, it’s not an arm it will grow back. That is some sound counsel.

    Anyway, then I searched high and low for the movie “Annie” because Caroline informed me she would like me to cook her dinner and then we could stay up late together to watch a movie. She’s never seen “Annie” and I thought it was genius of me to think of a movie I actually wouldn’t mind watching. I knew if I didn’t plan ahead I’d end up watching “Strawberry Shortcake’s Beach Party”.

    She helped me make homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner because, again, we’re all about healthy living here and then announced she was ready to watch “Strawberry Shortcake”.

    “What about ‘Annie’?”

    “No, I don’t like the way it looks”.

    “Really, but Peach Blossom and Gingersnap Mermaid talking to a berry-scented octopus looks normal to you?”

    Except I didn’t say that. The only kind of mother that would say something like that would be the kind of mother who’d send their child to Show and Tell with a nickel in a Ziploc bag.

    The good news is that after Strawberry Shortcake wrapped up her beach party, Caroline agreed to try “Annie”. Her little eyes were glued to the T.V. until she couldn’t keep them open anymore, so we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see how it ends.

    Tomorrow.

    Rumor has it that it’s only a day away.

  • Edition 13: Fashion Friday

    Oooh, it’s like Friday the 13th. Although I have never actually seen any of the 142 installments of the Friday the 13th franchise because I am a big chicken. And while I realize I probably don’t need to fear a psycho in a hockey mask, it’s just better that I stay away. The one time I watched a horror movie I ended up sleeping with my mama for two weeks.

    I was eighteen years old.

    And I left for college after those two weeks, which was the only reason I stopped sleeping in her bed.

    I am woman. Hear me roar.

    Anyway, just to keep y’all in the hair loop, I have an appointment to get my hair cut at 1:00 today. I have no idea how brave I am going to be, but after deep introspection I have realized that I have hair issues. In fact, I have decided to share those issues with y’all starting Monday when I will present a Retrospective on My Hair. I believe it will be at least a two day series.

    I’m not kidding.

    I am seriously going to root deep into my hair issues and share them with y’all in both word and pictorial form. I realize knowing this bit of extreme narcissism is on the horizon will make it difficult for any of y’all to sleep this weekend.

    Also, I forgot to mention that when Caroline saw my new red bargain-priced shoes, she gasped and exclaimed, “OH, THOSE ARE CHA-CHA!” I believe she was channeling Dolly Parton as Truvy in “Steel Magnolias”. She does make me proud.

    Now for the questions, they are plentiful.

    1. Kelli W. asks: “I am a lanky 5 feet 1 inches. And that’s pushing it a little. I have to look for pants in the petites, which in some stores means old lady elastic wiasts, etc. There is a store I love, with affordable but stylish jeans. They fit me great everywhere except, of course, in the legs because they are not petite. Should I hem them and, if so, will they look good?”

    Kelli, somehow this question from long ago got lost in my Fashion Folder (a very official document if there ever was one). I apologize for the delay. Anyway, the answer is yes. Hem those jeans.

    The trick is to find a tailor who will understand that you want the original hem to remain, otherwise the hem may not go with the rest of the jeans and have a weird look to it. I know that my tailor charges $10 more to use the original hem, but it’s worth it, especially if they have a little distressing on the hem.

    2. Darlene asks: “I am going to be going on a Caribbean cruise at the end of February and I need to know if I should take things that are in fall/winter colors, or is it safe to take thing that say “Spring is just around the corner!”? Personally, I like the darker colors over the bright ones, but either way, I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. Do I dare pack my white capris?”

    First, please take me with you. You’ll hardly notice I’m there and frankly, I could use the vacation. Don’t let the fact that you don’t know me and that I may overindulge in the all-you-can-eat cocktail shrimp buffet influence your decision.

    Secondly, yes. Pack the white capris but by all means make sure you pack the appropriate undergarments. Pantylines are never acceptable, even on the Caribbean sea.

    A cruise this time of year is the reason so many retailers come out with what they like to refer to as Resort Wear. It’s basically their way of saying “Hey, we would like you to buy summer clothes in February!” And as long as you use terms like “Resort” and “Cruise” it’s completely acceptable. For an example, check out Neiman Marcus’ Resort Essentials.

    And yes, if you shop at Neimans on a regular basis then you probably need a large collection of Resort Wear. However, you can also find cute spring things at Target right now although they’re just called “Cute Spring Clothes”, which doesn’t sound nearly as fancy.

    3. Alicia asks: “Help. I bought some Mossimo jeans with flap pockets in the back. Ever since washing them the first time, the flaps on the pockets won’t lay flat! I’ve laid the iron on them for several minutes, but it doesn’t help. Short of sewing them with a needle and thread, I’m at a loss.”

    I don’t know if I can help but I will make two suggestions. If y’all have any thoughts on how to redeem these prodigal pockets, leave them in the comments.

    I would try to spray them with water and/or spray starch and then iron them flat. However, you may have already attempted this.

    If that doesn’t work I think they may have to go to the drycleaners. Or the trash bin. No one needs obstinate pocketage on their rear silhouette. It’s just wrong.

    4. Rhonda asks: “I have a kitchen question of the utmost importance for you…i’m wondering if you’ve any suggestions or seen any stylish/cute receptacles to keep dish soap out on the kitchen counter? i’m sick of the plastic bottle that it comes in, but i’m holding out for “the one”!”

    I realize this isn’t a fashion question per se, but I am not going to discriminate. After all, what’s the point in owning a fabulous pair of jeans if you’re standing at your sink with a plastic bottle of Dawn Dishwashing Liquid? That’s just tacky.

    Anyway, this isn’t the most original idea but I saw it years ago in a magazine and loved it. You need to buy yourself a liquor pourer, which you can find here.

    After you have secured a liquor pourer (oh how I want to make some obvious joke about a bartender) then go to an antique shop or someplace like Target and find a pretty glass bottle. Pour in your Dawn, twist on the liquor pourer and there you have it. A pretty, functional dish soap dispenser.

    Plus, if you’re having a particularly bad day you can pop that pourer on a bottle of something else, like Diet Coke with Lime.

    5. Christina didn’t ask. She suggested: “Maybe you can create a “What the celebrities should have worn to the Golden Globes if there had been Golden Globes” post.”

    I thought long and hard about dedicating an entire post to what I believe stars should have worn to the Golden Globes if it were not for the Writer’s Strike that is currently ruining my life. The problem is I don’t really have access to seeing fabulous couture gowns that the celebs get to choose from because life is not fair.

    However, if I were to attend an event such as the Golden Globes or anything dressier than say, going to HEB to buy milk, I would love to wear one of these gowns.

    This lovely, bargain-priced Valentino. Although I would probably like it better in black.

    And this beautiful Vera Wang, even though I’m not sure that yellow would flatter my skintone. But still, it is gorgeous.

    Anyway, it would have been fun to compose an entire post about Golden Globe wardrobe possibilities, but I made an executive decision and instead y’all will be treated to endless ramblings about my hair issues both past and present.

    I know.

    You can hardly wait.

    Have a great Friday.

  • Walking on cork-heeled sunshine

    Yesterday was a big day for me. Of course, it’s all relative and considering the day before yesterday consisted of me doing a lot of nothing, I had nowhere to go but up.

    The day started with an appointment with my beloved orthodontist. I felt pretty certain all would be well with my teeth, but I still have flashbacks to the days of rubberbands sealing my jaw shut while the metal eroded the inner lining of my mouth. However, he said everything looked great and I am OFFICIALLY done.

    I never have to go back to the orthodontist again. OH HAPPY DAY.

    Until it’s Caroline’s turn and then I will do the same thing she used to do for me during my appointments. I’ll stand by the chair, hold her hand and say “WOW, does that hurt? THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURTS BAD!”

    So, with the horrors of adult orthodontia behind me, I couldn’t imagine how my day could get any better. Oh, but it did.

    I stopped in my favorite local boutique to just look. I was only looking. I promise I had no intention of buying.

    But look what I found.

    These.

    And these.

    While it may seem kind of frivolous that I bought not one, but two (TWO!) pairs of red shoes, let me tell y’all that they were on clearance for $10.00. TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS.

    At that price I could practically wear them once and then throw them away. However, I would never do that because look at the cuteness. I was going to take a picture of them on my feet just to really highlight the fabulousness, but my toes are currently not ready for open-toe season. And I have this thing about feet even when in the best of condition.

    And, no I don’t really know what I’ll wear them with, but TEN DOLLARS.

    But I’m thinking the polka-dot wedges would look so fab with these shorts and this shirt. Hmmm, it’s like summer in a bowl.

    If all that wasn’t enough good news for one day, I also made an important health-related discovery. I’ve been on an antibiotic for the last week due to an ailment completely unrelated to the flu. In the meantime, I have wondered if I am ever going to recover from the flu-related tiredness because I seriously fall asleep if I sit for more than five minutes at a time.

    I have wondered several times over the last week if I actually do have a touch of the narcolepsy. Then, yesterday afternoon as I went to take my antibiotic I noticed a huge warning on the bottle that I had failed to see before saying “WARNING: THIS MEDICINE MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS LEADING TO SPORADIC NAPPING THROUGHOUT THE DAYTIME AND CAUSING YOU TO CONSTANTLY FEEL AS IF YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY A TRUCK. AND A LARGE CAR. AND POSSIBLY A CADILLAC ESCALADE.”

    I was relieved to know there is an actual medical reason for why I have been so completely worthless over the last ten days, but couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed the warning before.

    I guess I fell asleep in the middle of reading the package insert.

    I just feel so fortunate that I haven’t fallen asleep in the middle of something important and life-changing, such as shopping for bargain-priced shoes.