It has been twenty years ago today that these two crazy kids walked down an aisle and vowed to love and cherish each other for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.
Honestly?
We had no idea what any of that really meant.
But here we are twenty years later.
We have laughed and fought and cried and driven each other crazy. We’ve celebrated victories, mourned losses, balanced checkbooks, and survived several house projects. We have almost raised our baby, sat in hospital waiting rooms, survived career changes, and have yet to really agree on what makes a good movie or T.V. show. We are each other’s first call, last goodnight, and chief defender.
Twenty years feels like a milestone, even though I always had faith that we’d make it this far. Because at the end of the day, above all else, we are committed to each other. We are committed to this life we have made and so we have chosen each other time and time again, no matter what comes our way.
It also helps that he still makes me laugh every single day, which offsets how crazy it makes me that he doesn’t know how to throw Band-Aid wrappers in the trash.
Happy 20th Anniversary, Perry. I love you more today than I did twenty years ago.
And I still regret cutting those bangs the week before our wedding.
So today is my birthday. I am 46 years old. And I’ll be honest, it feels weird to be officially closer to 50 than to 40.
But last Sunday night, Gulley and I took the kids to watch a Texas A&M soccer exhibition game against Sam Houston and we saw our dear friend, Tiffany. She remarked, “You have a birthday coming up!” I replied, “Yes! And you just had one. Can you believe we’re 46 years old?” and she smiled really big and said, “YES! Isn’t it awesome?”
And I thought to myself, “Okay. So this is what we’re doing with 46. We’re declaring it to be awesome.” So I’m going to go with that. Forty-six is awesome.
(Of course Tiff is such an optimist that you could find yourself on a sinking ship with her and she’d exclaim, “Fun! Looks like we’re going to get to go swimming!”)
Anyway, way back in the early, early years of this blog, Gulley made a list of things she loved about me and posted it for my birthday. And earlier this year she told me it had been ten years since that list and she wanted to do another one for my 46th birthday. It feels a little strange to post a list of things that someone loves about you, but considering she essentially let me tell a whole bunch of our stories in a book about friendship, I can publish this list for her. I’ll also give you my opinion that she has made me sound much better than I actually am, but that’s what best friends are for.
And now, here’s Gulley’s list that she emailed me last night. (True story, it made me cry.):
1. She’s funny.
2. She’s creative and will share her skills with you.
3. She’s the most loyal person I know.
4. No matter what high or low she is feeling, somewhere in every single conversation she says, “So tell me about YOU!”
5. She shares all her beauty products so you don’t have to spend money trying.
6. When you go to her house, not only does she have all your favorites, she improves on them. For example, “If you put that chocolate chip cookie in the microwave for 11 seconds, it’s so good!”
7. She will invite you over for wine and present the most beautiful charcuterie tray you could imagine.
8. She’s protective over her relationships in big ways and small.
9. She makes time to be with her people.
10. She’s humble.
11. If you even casually mention you’re looking for something she will send you 18 links to that thing and help you find the perfect one.
12. She would never post a bad picture of you on the internet.
13. She loves my boys like they are her own. She makes great effort to know them as individuals by discussing the spurs, MLB, and all kinds of things they want to discuss.
14. After spending all day at soccer she comes to watch them play baseball.
15. She’s the most fun person to watch football with.
16. If she can’t take your call she will text to say why. “In carpool line” with multiple heart emojis.
17. She makes me smarter.
18. We have deep spiritual discussions and I know when she says she’s praying for me she means it.
19. Because we live in close neighborhoods we will sometimes see each other while we are driving. We get so excited and wave like crazy.
20. She helps me clean out my closet.
21. She acts like she likes it.
22. For YEARS she picked up my boys from school two days a week. This was not a carpool. I had a need and she filled it.
23. She never once acted put out.
24. One time on her way back into town I called her in tears because one of my boys got a fever 15 minutes before I was hosting the other boy’s birthday party. She came straight to my house and took care of my SICK BABY so I could take seven 3rd graders to a hockey game.
25. She’s our emergency contact.
26. She can laugh at herself.
27. She never flakes on our weekly lunches.
28. Her emoji and gif use is brilliant.
29. She encourages me to rest.
30. Whenever I say,”I feel fat!” She says, “Nobody’s cuter than you!”
31. She’s always up for an adventure even though my child has thrown up in her car 400 times.
32. Her vocabulary is so intelligent and sometimes I have to look up words she says in a dictionary after talking to her.
33. She always drives.
34. She’s always up for one more splash.
35. She’s not easily offended.
36. She knows how I’m feeling based on my tone during one-word interactions. “Well.” “Ok.”
37. The only thing bigger than her sense of humor is her heart.
38. She gives great advice.
39. She always gives a good reaction to my hurt feelings. “WHAT!?! NO! That is why I do not like them anymore!”
40. She’s an encourager.
41. She takes my job at preschool as serious as her job as a writer.
42. Every once in a while we call each other and say, “You ARE the bigger person!” Because the thing about being the bigger person is that no one ever recognizes it.
43. I always feel better after spending time with her.
44. When she cooks something I like she either brings it over or she calls and tells me to stop by and get some.
45. She has adopted my extended family.
46. Because news isn’t news until I’ve shared it with her!
Happy Birthday, Mel!!
Okay, this is Melanie again. I went back through my archives to find Gulley’s original list and only at that moment realized she actually did the first list for my 37th birthday. So that’s another reason we’re best friends. Neither of us is very good at math. But 46 is the new awesome so there’s that.
Well here we are. Down to the last week of summer before school starts. And it’s filled with doctor’s appointments and haircuts and an orientation day for Caroline so it’s like we are going to be official productive members of society again by Monday. But it’s probably for the best because I probably need to do things like cook dinner, workout and put on real clothes.
Also, just a quick reminder that there are signed, first edition copies of my upcoming book, Church of the Small Things available online at Barnes & Noble but they are going fast. This signed edition also has bonus content and a bullet journal in the back of the book, so it could make a great gift for someone in your life. Or a great gift for yourself. Either way. You can find it here.
And then you can enter your order number here, to get all kinds of pre-order free stuff including the first three chapters to download immediately. People tell me this pre-order stuff is pretty important in terms of how the book gets placed in stores and all that stuff so thank you for buying the book and thank you for putting up with me posting reminders every now and then because it feels a little Notting Hill and I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking you to buy my book.
Anyway, here are a few cute things I found this week:
It’s no secret that I’m a fan of this roll tab tunic. I like that it’s long enough to wear with leggings but also looks great with jeans. It’s on sale for $27.90 and comes in so many colors, but I kind of like this one for fall. There’s also an olive green that I’ve got my eye on.
Chic Wish is one of those places that can be hit or miss, but I think this top is really pretty. I especially love the light blue version but the black would be better with jeans.
A reader emailed me to tell me about One Mission. You can read more about how it works here. But the bottom line is they have all kinds of cute t-shirts, jewelry, coffee mugs, etc. and 40% of every purchase goes to support a good cause. In their words:
“Inspired by the simple goal of helping more people do more good, One Mission exists ultimately for missionaries, non-profits, and many other important groups and individuals that entrust us with their fundraising needs.”
So go check out their site. It’s a great place to find cute things and maybe even fundraise for a cause that’s near and dear to your heart. I happen to really like this Celebrate Everything t-shirt and it comes in several color options.
I really like this because I love a layered look without actually having to create the layers myself. This also comes in white and I think either one is a great fall transition piece. It’s on sale for $39.95 and has five star reviews.
I like a good flowy dress and this one is perfect. It’s on sale for $99.95 and also comes in light blue and moss green. And a wine color that’s on sale for $79.95 here. You can belt it, wear a jacket over it, and pair it with boots or sandals depending on the season. It’s super versatile and is so soft that it feels like a dream.
Just when I thought I may not have anything to post this week because we are busy winding down our last couple of weeks of summer, Sophie and I had the chance to interview Brittany Wagner from Last Chance U on Netflix. It was as delightful as I imagined it would be. We also talk about beauty products, dinner, and all the usual.
You can click here to listen. Or here. You can even listen right here on the blog.
So I’m excited about this today. Not about this video of myself because I hate watching myself and, let’s be honest, that still shot is unfortunate. But I am very excited about the information contained therein.
And in case you’re all like “I do not care to watch this video”, here’s the big news.
BARNES & NOBLE HAS EXCLUSIVE SIGNED COPIES OF CHURCH OF THE SMALL THINGS: The Million Little Pieces that Make Up a Life AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER STARTING TODAY. And not only are they signed, first-edition copies, they also include exclusive bonus content and a bullet journal in the back of the book.
(Those are just stickers so you can take them off later to just enjoy the gorgeous cover by my dear friend, Heather Gauthier.)
Here’s the best part, you can preorder a signed copy (or several because – HELLO – Christmas and Birthday and thank you for being you gifts) and you receive not only a signed, first edition copy with exclusive content, but you are also eligible to receive all manner of free stuff; including the first three chapters, the first video session of my new Bible study, five family recipes and four downloadable prints by Heather Gauthier. Plus, Barnes & Noble offers free shipping for orders over $25 and they won’t bill you until the book ships on October 3.
This is the best of all the offers there will be as this new book goes out into the world so there’s really no better time to get your copy than right now before all the signed copies are gone. If only I could throw in a set of Ginsu knives to sweeten the deal.
So here’s what you need to do in an easy step by step format.
2. Check out all your preorder free stuff here and enter in your information and order number and you will receive an email in the next few days with access to all of it.
That’s it. Please and thank you. Done and done.
I just want to say that I am so excited about this book. I believe so much in the message and the hope that it has to offer for all of us who are just trying to be faithful in the small things every single day. I think it’s where 99.5% of us live and I wrote it for us because that usually it’s the small things in life that mean the most. I hope that’s the encouragement Church of the Small Things will bring to your life.
I drove by Banana Republic yesterday and noticed they had some great tops in their display window. So I went to check them out online. This darling top is on sale for $63 and also comes in olive green.
And I love these dolman style polos because they’re so easy to throw on with everything from a pair of jeans to a cute skirt or pair of shorts. They are on sale for $25 and also come in sky blue and white
This is one of those great tops at Nordstrom that’s only still available because no one has found it yet. It’s just $19 and comes in several color options. These tops are perfect because they are so soft, a great length and easy to put on for early Saturday morning soccer games.
I saw this tote in person this week and it is so much better in real life that I had to feature it. I love the braided handle. It’s $69.95 and comes in cognac, black and taupe.
I bought this for myself in black last week and just got it in yesterday. I was worried it might look too maternity-ish, but it is the perfect length and weight. I can definitely wear it by itself but it is also great for layering under kimonos, jackets or sweaters. It’s on sale for $49.95 and comes in several color options.
Caroline and I ran in Anthropologie yesterday and I fell in love with this top. It’s just a great basic that can be dressed up or down, but I love the blouse-y, drapey feel and I’m powerless to resist a tie in the front.
I love my demi necklace from Akola so much that I’ve been seriously debating getting another one in a different color. I think I’d do a light gray with the gold star. But that’s just me. This is on sale for $59.99 and is normally $86. I wear mine with so many things and love it every time.
This tunic is on sale at Free People. I really like the blue color to pair with white jeans now or wear with either gray or blue jeans in the fall with a pair of boots.
These Zella leggings are a favorite and on sale for $38.90 until August 6. They are perfect for actually working out or just running errands, depending on your personal preference. There is no judgment here.
And I really like these gap fit tie back tanks if you’re actually going to work out. You can tie them or wear them loose and they look cute either way.
Today you are fourteen. I don’t even know how we got here so fast. The last fourteen years have been a whirlwind of pacifiers, diapers and sleepless nights that led to Finding Nemo lunch boxes, pigtails, and losing your first tooth that brought us to sleepovers, soccer games and braces on your teeth. Now here we are on the precipice of high school and although I keep trying to tell myself the next four years won’t fly by, I’m afraid that’s a lie because fourteen years seem to have gone by in the blink of an eye.
But at the same time I can’t remember life before you were here. What did life feel like back in the days before my heart walked around on the outside of my body? Fourteen years seems like a lifetime ago and just yesterday all rolled into bits and pieces of memories that will stay with me forever.
It seems like from the moment I found out I was having a baby girl that I worried about the teenage years. Everyone tells you that in what I’m sure is a well-meaning way…”Oh, just wait until she’s a teenager!” or “You’ll be lucky to survive the teenage years!” and so I wondered if it was all going to be one awful rollercoaster ride when we got to this point and if I would be equipped to handle it. But here is what I have discovered, I adore having a teenager.
Yes, there are times that I can feel you rolling your eyes at me even when I can’t actually see you doing it. There are moments when I know that you’re worrying I’m going to embarrass you by doing something awkward like breathing or existing, but there are so many more moments where I can see real glimmers of the way our mother/daughter relationship is also growing into a genuine friendship as you get older. I adore you because you are mine, but I like you because you are just a genuinely great person full of life and personality.
This past year I watched you set goals for yourself with both sports and academics and then work hard to make them happen. You are competitive, driven, and secure in who you are and what you want to achieve. Sometimes I watch how hard you work at soccer practice, how you push yourself, and wonder how on earth I gave birth to you.
You are fiercely loyal and I’m so proud of how you love your friends. I was so worried about girl drama, but you have surrounded yourself with good, sweet girls and I love the way you love each other. In fact, one of my proudest moments this year was when one of your friend’s moms called me just to tell me what a great friend you’ve been to her daughter and how you loved and supported her through a hard time. It’s this quality in you that will ensure you are always surrounded by love and light.
And you are so funny. We are a family that places high value on a well-timed sarcastic remark or a “That’s what she said” and you have mastered these. Just yesterday I was driving you to soccer practice after what had been a rough day and you knew just how to make me laugh out loud. These are the moments when I’m not sure I could love you more.
A few months ago, I spoke at church about how God has a plan for each of us and has given us unique gifts and talents that will equip us for the journey. On the way home, you asked me how you will know what God wants you to do and I explained that it isn’t any one thing at any one time, so much as it is just listening for his voice everyday and doing what he calls you to do in that moment of your life right where he has placed you – in your school, on your soccer team, and in your community. You nodded your head and said that made sense. But what I didn’t tell you that day is that I have no doubt that God has plans for your life that will go beyond what you can even imagine. You shine so bright, you bring so much joy and laughter to everyone you love, and you are the answer to all the prayers I didn’t even know to pray.
These fourteen years of you have been the greatest gift of my life.
Daddy and I love you more than you know.
Love,
Mom
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