Author: Big Mama

Cottage cheese, 3-D movies and prayers

Caroline went back to school yesterday morning for the first time since last Tuesday. And, I’m not going to lie, it was a little rough to get back in the routine of getting up and heating up a bowl of instant oatmeal. Then I started to look around the kitchen for her lunchbox and couldn’t find it.

That’s when it dawned on me that she probably left it at school six days ago.

And so when I thought the worst part of my day was going to Starbucks and discovering all the good chairs were taken and the electrical outlet by my table didn’t work? I was wrong.

The worst part of my day was when I had to empty out the thermos full of cottage cheese that I’d packed for Caroline’s lunch last Tuesday.

I just dry-heaved at the memory of it.

Cottage cheese is henceforth dead to me.

Anyway, I didn’t mention yesterday that Gulley’s boys ended up staying with us this weekend. Nena (Gulley’s grandmother for those of you who might be new) had a heart attack on Thursday night and Gulley drove to go see her in the hospital. And I volunteered to keep the boys because I knew it would be better than Christmas morning for Caroline to get to have a sleepover with her peeps.

So we spent Saturday night eating cheeseburgers and playing Wii and watching G-Force. Then P cooked pancakes for everyone on Sunday morning and we went to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island later that afternoon. Which was actually pretty good.

Even though I am a little disgruntled because I have determined that this whole 3-D movie thing is a scam. A SCAM I TELL YOU. Because when I looked at movie times, there was only one showing that was in normal 2-D like the good old days and four showings in 3-D.

I picked the 3-D showing because it was the most convenient (all part of their dastardly plan) and became even more irritated when I bought our tickets and realized kids’ ticket prices are only FIFTY CENTS less than an adult ticket. It’s a total racket.

And I’m not even going to get into all my thoughts on Titanic being re-released in 3-D. Do we really need to see that ship go down and all those people drown in 3-D?

Maybe it’s just me. I don’t enjoy wearing plastic glasses while I watch a movie. They make my head hurt. And after the movie was over, Jackson said he didn’t think the graphics were very good. But I hated to tell him I didn’t think it was a production error as much as the fact that I saw him eat handfuls of greasy popcorn and then put his fingers all over the lenses of his 3-D glasses.

But enough about that.

Let’s talk about Nena.

She had a mild heart attack Thursday night. And Gulley said she was like Scarlett O’Hara in a crisis. She had the presence of mind to take an aspirin and then push the call button in her apartment for help. They ran a bunch of tests at the hospital and determined it was a heart attack. And they knew she was feeling better when she asked for her lipstick before the doctor came in to see her.

But after a heart cath yesterday, they determined she needs to have a quadruple bypass. By the time most of you are reading this, she’ll be in surgery. And she’s 88 years old.

Gulley left town again yesterday afternoon so she could be there for the surgery. And she packed the pair of jeans that Nena once declared looked like something that should be thrown in the trash. Gulley said she’ll know Nena is going to be okay when she wakes up and starts complaining about how bad those jeans look.

So if you think about it, I’d sure appreciate your prayers for Nena’s surgery and recovery. She means a lot to me. And more than that, she means the world to some of my very favorite people.

And if you want to know more about Nena, here are two of my favorite Nena posts. You can read them here and here.

Thanks, y’all.
Because I over think things

I thought for sure I was getting sick on Thursday night. I could feel my throat becoming increasingly sore and my head was starting to hurt. But then after a cup of coffee on Friday morning, I felt pretty normal and decided I had nothing more than a bad case of hypochondria mixed with a touch of paranoia.

So I called Mimi and Bops to see if they could come over and watch Caroline for a little while because I had made the huge misstep of deleting my entire iTunes library and our personal email account. Yes, the phrase you are looking for is FREAKING THE HECK OUT.

Fortunately the deleted files were still in the trash and I felt like they could be restored by someone much wiser and younger than me. Someone hip enough to wear one of those big plastic circle things in their ear lobe. So I made a trip to the Genius Bar at the Apple store and it took the junior high kid that works there all of three minutes to fix it and restore everything to its rightful place.

(I could tell you how I deleted all those files in the first place but I’m still not totally sure what happened.)

(I do know that I blacked out when I realized the implications of what I’d just done.)

(This also seems like a good time to tell you that I felt the need to clean up my Mac before I took it into the store to get healed and that’s how I discovered there was melted chocolate on the bottom of it. Chocolate that had been there long enough to melt and then solidify. Classy.)

Anyway, Caroline requested that I bring her home a double chocolatey chip frappuccino from Starbucks on my way home and it seemed to be the missing piece in her road back to health. Because after she drank it she became her usual self. The twinkle was back in her eye and she spent the next few hours expending all the energy she hadn’t been well enough to burn during her bout with strep.

But here’s what I really want to talk about. And it’s going to be controversial. Some of you, nay, MANY OF YOU, are going to disagree with me.

On Saturday night I watched the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love with Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling. I mean, I didn’t watch it with them, they starred in it. I just want to clear that up in case any of you might mistakenly believe I spent my Saturday night in any more glamorous fashion than with a purifying mask on my face while I watched a rented movie on my laptop.

The point is that I really liked the movie. That darling Emma Stone is in it and I just think she is cute as a button. (Wow. Pretty sure I just channeled someone’s grandmother with that sentence.) It made me laugh out loud and it made me cry a little and that is, in my opinion, the sign of a really good movie.

But here’s what threw me off. I have long declared that I don’t get the appeal of Ryan Gosling. I don’t need him to tell me, “Hey Girl, I’m really glad you decided to stay on Pinterest all day and order Chinese takeout for dinner.”

I realize he made women everywhere swoon in The Notebook, but I kind of thought he just looked like he needed a shower and a shave. And I wished he’d quit moping around feeling sorry for himself. Personally, I would have stayed with James Marsden. He was a soldier, appeared to have a good job and seemed to be a really nice guy.

I guess it all worked out though because Ryan Gosling grew up to be James Garner and he read to Gena Rowlands all day long in the nursing home until she remembered the story was about them. And then they danced. And then they died together. And maybe James Marsden wouldn’t have done that. Maybe James Marsden would have grown up to be Christopher Walken and would have left Gena Rowlands all by herself.

Maybe I’m thinking too much about this.

Maybe I need a hobby.

Anyway, my opinion on all this has always been a sign to me that I’m not twenty years old anymore. Because I totally went for the sensible choice. I would choose the good guy over the brooding loner. I didn’t understand the appeal of Ryan Gosling.

Then I watched Crazy, Stupid, Love and I kind of get it now. Ryan Gosling is a handsome guy. There’s no question about it. He seriously does look like he’s photoshopped. (That’s a line in the movie in case you haven’t seen it.)

But he still doesn’t really appeal to me. And I figured out why. He’s too pretty. It looks like we might wear the same size jeans. It appears he might have more hair products in his bathroom cabinet than I do.

And I prefer a man to look like a man. To be a little rough around the edges. To look like he could change a tire or dig a ditch if he had to. Not a man who looks like he could help me pick out just the right pair of skinny jeans to flatter my figure or show me a better way to put on my eyeliner.

Which explains why I’m married to a man who organizes his closet by new Columbia fishing shirts and old Columbia fishing shirts and has been known to order new pants for $10 from a catalog called Cheaper Than Dirt.

Apparently I have a type. And that type is low-maintenance.

So I’m curious. Am I alone? Is this just because I’ve lived my entire life in Texas? Or can you keep a straight face when you see a man wearing skinny jeans?
Fashion Friday: Edition $50 Ruche gift card giveaway

This is going to be a quick Fashion Friday because Caroline still isn’t feeling well and, frankly, I’ve had better days. I don’t know if it’s all just hypochondria on my part, but my throat feels sore and my head is a little achy.

We spent most of yesterday in my bed watching movies and American Idol, but at some point I got on the computer and started looking at swimsuits for Caroline. Yes, it’s February. However, it was 85 degrees here.

And then Caroline started chiming in on what swimsuits she liked and ultimately took over the computer. She entertained herself for the next hour finding all sorts of clothes and shoes and swimsuits she’d like to own and asking me if she could “add them to the cart”.

I told her that was fine because I knew she could “add to the cart” all day long but that it wasn’t going to translate to actual buying of anything. It’s like the Seinfeld rental car episode. I know you can take the reservation, but can you HOLD the reservation?

Except it was clothes.

By the time I got back on the computer she’d added about $400 worth of items to the cart. So, note to self, make sure she never actually learns how to PURCHASE the things in the cart. And now I’m conducting my own private experiment to see if she realizes none of those things ever turn up on our doorstep.

But enough of that.

Let’s talk about one of my favorite stores.

The nice folks at Ruche are giving one of you the chance to win a $50 gift card. Which means you can actually put things in your cart and BUY THEM if you win. All you have to do is leave a comment on this post to enter. I’ll keep comments open until Monday at noon and then choose a winner at random.

And if you win, then you might want to spend the money on one of the following:

coral flair mary jane peep toe heels

A friend of mine emailed me and made me aware that these shoes existed. And now I can’t quit thinking about them. Even though my life doesn’t really go with shoes with a heel these days.

galant strapless dress

Love the green. And would love it with some gold sandals and accessories.

enchante magenta dress

This isn’t a dress unless you’re in your twenties. But I would love it with skinny white jeans and all turquoise or silver accessories.

sea flower caged ring

See? This ring would go with that magenta dress/top.

peacock quill earrings

And I think we all know that Caroline would choose this pair of understated peacock quill earrings. She would totally put them in her cart.

Here are a few other things I liked this week. There were going to be five of them but did I mention that I might be getting sick?

1. wagner tunic

Again. Perfect with skinny jeans in white or some other color if you dare.

2. top with waist seams

Zara needs to work on coming up with better names for their clothing because, seriously, top with waist seams? That sounds so industrial.

I have a top that’s similar to this and I adore it. It’s perfect under a jacket or sweater, but great on it’s own when the weather warms up. Of course you’ll need a cami under it.

3. bedecked flounce tee

I like this tee because it’s business in the front and party in the back. Just like P’s hair circa 1988.

4. colored skinny jeans

Another friend told me about these jeans at Nordstrom. (What would I do without my friends? Especially when I’ve been a shut in since Wednesday and have no idea what the world has to offer?) They are an inexpensive way to capitalize on the colored denim trend without a big investment. I just have to decide if I want yellow or turquoise.

That’s it for today.

Don’t forget to leave a comment for a chance to win a $50 gift card from Ruche. And remember that they have a great selection of curvy items, too.

Have a great Friday.
It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die

Before I say anything else I just have to thank you all for your kind comments and prayers for Jen. It means the world to me and I really think y’all are the best blog peeps ever.

Also, yesterday was the last giveaway. So as of today we will be resuming our normal daily programming of general mediocrity and all around musings about nothing. And, honestly, I’m glad. It was a nice solution to the whole book writing process but, HERE’S SOME NEWS, I’m finished with the book.

Actually that’s not true. I finished writing the book. And now I have the book back in my possession with kind and gentle editing suggestions that I have to work on at some point. But, still, finish line in sight.

(Oh. I’m actually having a giveaway tomorrow. But it’s for a gift card to buy clothes.)

(So I guess I just meant that I’m finished with the health-related giveaways on a weekly basis.)

You would think I’d learn to be more clear and concise. Especially since last week I read a news headline that I completely misunderstood. The front page of MSN read “Sting Foils Plot to Blow Up Capitol”.

And my first thought was to wonder how on earth Sting has time to write all those songs and thwart dastardly plots. Then I remembered that he used to be part of The Police and thought it was all some sort of covert tie-in to his real occupation while he carried on his front as a musician.

Then, about five minutes later, it dawned on me that the headline was referring to a Sting Operation. Not Sting.

Yes. That makes much more sense.

But isn’t nearly as interesting.

Anyway, Monday was Presidents’ Day. The kids had a school holiday and so Gulley, Stephanie and I took our kids to the rodeo carnival to ride all the rides. It turned out to be a brilliant plan because Steph left her little girl at home and just brought her son. And so we had an even number of kids. Which, for those of you unfamiliar with carnival math, means that the mamas didn’t have to ride any of the rides.

Well, Gulley rode the mouse rollercoaster thing because it required an adult and she took one for the team. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the rides. In fact, I’m a little sad that I can’t ride them anymore. But at some point my equilibrium quit on me and I get so dizzy and disoriented. Which isn’t that different than how I feel when I first get out of bed in the morning, but isn’t necessarily a good feeling while you’re trying to navigate a giant petri dish full of carnival rides and fun houses.

And we did all ride the ferris wheel when we first got there. I can handle the ferris wheel as long as I don’t look down or remember I’m on a big wheel of potential death. Then the kids were ready to move on to bigger and better things like rides called Vertigo.

I was ready to move on to bigger and better things like funnel cakes and corn dogs and gorditas.

So after they’d all ridden enough rides to be sufficiently dizzy and slightly nauseous, we headed over to find all the food and went our separate ways as we each opted for a different culinary treat. Caroline chose a slice of pepperoni pizza because everyone knows that’s typical rodeo food and not weird at all. And after much deliberation, I ended up with a gordita. Gulley went with shrimp on a stick. It seemed like a questionable choice but apparently worked out for her because it’s three days later and she hasn’t died of salmonella.

Fortunately, no one in our group opted for the Hot Beef Sundae. What? You’ve never heard of a hot beef sundae? You mean the concept of a round ball of instant mashed potatoes on a slab of questionable meat covered in gravy and cheese and topped with a cherry tomato hasn’t swept the nation?

Or maybe you know it by its more common name Roast Beef in a Bowl?

I thought there was nothing that could stimulate my gag reflex more than the knowledge that Golden Corral has a chocolate fountain, but this is a close second.

After we rounded our meal out with a funnel cake, we walked around the rodeo grounds and let the kids look at the trucks and make a stop by the petting zoo. And I again rejoiced that Caroline is at an age where she can walk amongst the goats on her own and I can stand on the other side of the fence and wave from a goat-free environment.

Eventually we made our way back to the rides and they rode a few more things. We’d given each kid permission to do one extra thing that cost more money and Caroline decided she wanted to play the carnival game where you shoot a basketball and if you make a basket then you win a stuffed animal.

I tried to convince her to do something else by repeatedly telling her that those things are usually rigged and the basket is too small for the ball or placed at a weird angle. I wanted to prepare her for the inevitable disappointment of not winning so we watched as two teenage girls tried it and missed. And I said, “See? It’s impossible to make it.” But she insisted it was what she wanted to and so I reluctantly handed over the five dollars feeling like it would make more sense to flush it down the toilet.

She gave her money to the carny worker, he handed her the basketball, she bounced it twice and shot.

And she made it.

Thus rendering her mother’s opinions and knowledge totally worthless.

Nice job.

And in exchange for now having full confirmation that her mom does not, in fact, know everything, she won her very own minion.

(I can’t tell you how thankful I am that she chose the minion over the banana dressed like Bob Marley. It would have been too much to bear.)

However, this minion is not so fluffy I could die.

It feels like it has been stuffed with lightweight cement mix. And so you can imagine my joy at having to carry around Zee Minion (That’s what she named him. Apparently he’s French.) the rest of the day. Because I couldn’t really carry him under one arm. I had to walk around with Zee Minion in a bear hug formation for the remainder of the afternoon.

But it could have been worse.

I could have been that guy.

Then Tuesday night I went back to the rodeo with a group of my girlfriends to go see Miranda Lambert. We had the best time and laughed until my face hurt. I think we all forgot that we were mothers with real live responsibilities for at least a few hours which explains why we thought it was a good idea to stay out until 1:00 a.m.

But as I crawled into bed Tuesday night I thought it would be totally worth it to be tired the next day. Until Caroline woke me up at 4:36 a.m. complaining of a sore throat. And I could tell she felt feverish.

So we spent yesterday at the doctor where they confirmed she has strep. Poor thing. I can’t remember the last time she’s felt this bad. I mean, she fell asleep on the couch at 4:00 this afternoon and she hasn’t slept during the daytime since she gave up her pacifier at age three.

My bet is that Zee Minion cost us $5.00, one case of strep, and the co-pay at the urgent care clinic.
When you need to get glowing – Epione Skin System Giveaway

Epione Giveaway

Okay. This is the last of the health- and fitness-related giveaways. And it’s a good one. Y’all may remember that I mentioned I’d finally broken down and bought a Clarisonic Mia brush for my face. And I adore it. Nothing has ever made my skin feel so clean and smooth. I’ve hardly had any breakouts and I’ve watched dark spots become much less noticeable. Which means I’ll be wearing the biggest sunhat I can find this summer. If you need to find me just come to my neighborhood pool and look for the woman in a lounge chair who looks like your Aunt Maude. So, because of my great love of my Clarisonic, I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about the Epione ClearTouch Matrix cleansing system. Although it was a big plus that it came all packaged in a beautiful chocolate brown box.

Here’s the official word on Epione: Keep your face radiant with this system that cleanses the skin of makeup and daily impurities to reduce the appearance of fine lines.

WHAT’S INCLUDED: Epione ClearTouch Matrix

PRODUCT FEATURES: Cleanses skin Removes makeup and daily impurities to keep skin healthy. Massages your face to help reduce the appearance of fine lines and discoloration. Effective on sensitive skin. Can be used in the morning and evening.

And so here are my thoughts. I tried it on my face and it worked really well. However, I didn’t feel like the brush feature moved as smoothly across my face as the Clarisonic. And I’m also totally spoiled because the Clarisonic automatically cuts off after one minute, and I had to think about how long I’d been scrubbing my face with the Epione. But the thing I love more about the Epione system is that it comes with a bigger brush attachment to use on your body AND a pumice stone attachment that you can use on your feet. And I know I will use the heck out of it this summer when I’m using a lot of self-tanner and making sure my skin is smooth.

You have a chance to win your very own Epione ClearTouch Matrix cleansing system. All you need to do is leave me a comment telling me about your favorite skin product. And don’t forget to take the fitness pledge:

Here are the official rules.

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
The sweepstakes runs from 2/22 – 2/28.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.

Also be sure to visit the Inspiration to Fitness page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews, get great fitness tips and find more chances to win! You can also click on the Best Buy image at the top of my blog to view a calendar of all the Inspiration to Fitness content. Good luck!

Best Buy does not sponsor, endorse, approve, or have any responsibility for this promotion.
Inspiration to Fitness – Week 7

Welcome to this week’s Inspiration to Fitness post.

Well, as Boyz II Men once said, we’ve come to the end of the road. This is the last post in my Inspiration to Fitness series and I’m a little sad because I love the accountability. Yet I’m kind of glad because how much more do y’all want to hear about all the push ups and lunges and running? And how much more can I possibly say about it?

But here’s something that I haven’t told y’all until now. And for me it is the biggest benefit of this whole healthy initiative. I sleep like a baby every single night.

And if you’ve been reading the blog for any length of time, then you know that I have struggled with all manner of insomnia. I’ve taken melatonin and Tylenol PM and some type of all-natural combination sleep herbs that made me have bad dreams about Steven Tyler’s feet. Although in fairness that dream might have been related to the fact that I’d just watched Oprah’s interview with Steven Tyler and he took off his socks to show her how bad his feet look after all those years of dancing around on stage.

(It’s a mental image that will stick with me forever.)

(It was horrifying.)

(It made me want to hire someone to carry me around at all times so that my feet never look like that.)

The point is that almost nothing worked. In fact, I feel that my sleep habits of yore are best summed up with this handy pie chart I found on Pinterest. (Probably one night when I couldn’t sleep.)

Source: imgur.com via Katrina on Pinterest

But since I’ve been eating better and working out more, I sleep the sleep of angels almost every single night. I don’t have to take the melatonin or anything else. I just close my eyes and go to sleep. It is the best thing ever.

And just shows that your body has a way of knowing what you need. I think my diet was off and I was going to bed many nights with my stomach full from late night snacking. Plus, I wasn’t active enough during the day. I had energy to burn.

But all the lunges and squats and running have helped with that. So not only do I think I look a little more fit, I’m well-rested. And who doesn’t look better without bags under their eyes?

Thanks so much for following along during this whole thing. I appreciate the encouragement and support. We’ll have one last giveaway tomorrow and it’s going to be a good one.

In the meantime, don’t forget to enter for a chance to win. Just click over to my review of the FitBit and leave a comment on that post to enter.