Author: Big Mama

  • Timing has never been her strong suit

    Well it started off as a great weekend around here. P and Caroline went to the ranch on Friday night and I managed to finish Season 1 of Army Wives. It wasn’t easy. I had to persevere through the air-conditioning repairman showing up to fix our circuit board and not leaving until 7:30. But I wasn’t going to let that stand in the way of my television goals.

    On Saturday morning Caroline had a soccer game at 10:30. Which, in my opinion, is the perfect time for a soccer game. And she scored three goals. Then we came home to watch the Aggies play Baylor. Even though my blood pressure was above normal for a good portion of the game, we managed to pull out a decisive win. And by we, I mean a team full of college boys playing their hearts out while I sat on the couch eating chips and hyperventilating.

    The rest of Saturday was spent taking a little trip to the pumpkin patch and making a quick stop by Home Depot to pick up some mums. Caroline and her friend Gabi helped me plant the mums and decorate the yard with spider webs and pumpkins. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess to a serious case of front yard pride. The mums are a HUGE improvement over the dead liriope that had been in my urns for the last two months or so.

    We went to eat Italian food with Mimi and Bops that night. Caroline went to bed pretty soon after we got home and I was prepared to enjoy a little more Army Wives. But then something happened.

    Hazel Ludendorff showed up.

    Some of you may remember Hazel from last year. She’s the three-pack-a-day smoker in her eighties that becomes my alternate personality when I develop a bit of a chest cold. And she showed up with virtually no warning. Sure I’ve been a little congested, but I felt sure it was just some mild allergies. I was not prepared for a visit from Hazel.

    To make matters worse, I’m flying to Chicago on Monday morning to meet with my editor for the first time and I really hate that Hazel is going to be part of that equation. I want to put my best foot forward and Hazel is likely to want to spout her views on politics and religion. Hazel might say those protesters on Wall Street might be better served to quit camping out and go try to make something of their lives. She might say that nice young fellow named Steve Jobs that just passed away (God rest his soul) didn’t change the world by sitting around crying and feeling entitled, but by using his brain to create some type of computer in his garage. IN HIS GARAGE. Can you even imagine such?

    And those iPhones? Hazel thinks part of the problem with the world today is everyone’s obsession with a phone that’s smarter than them. Who needs a phone that you can talk to? Back in her day if you wanted to talk to someone you joined a bridge club or brought a covered dish to the neighbors. Talking to a phone? NONSENSE.

    So I’m going to see about getting into the medical clinic down the street before my flight. I feel it would be best for everyone concerned if Hazel got some type of steroid shot or prescription cough medicine before she heads to Chicago.

    Hopefully I’ll be back to post an update tomorrow, but Hazel isn’t sure about bringing the computer along for the trip. Air travel has been hard enough since they quit serving lobster cocktail, letting you smoke, and make you take off all your clothes at security.

    No need to complicate things with a computer.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition our air conditioning is out

    Yes. It’s true. Our air-conditioning is out. On the bright side, it’s only the unit that cools our bedroom. Yet on the downside, we like to sleep in our bedrooms. And on another downside, the repairman had to order a part and told us our circuit board is dead. I’ll be honest, that doesn’t sound cheap.

    But I don’t want to let my personal A/C tragedy interfere with fashion.

    Also, I have to tell you two things that happened today that made me believe I might have some sort of sixth sense.

    First, I tweeted yesterday morning that Gap can’t even make clothes that look good on the models on their website anymore. And that doesn’t bode well for those of us who are normal. Then I read just a little while ago that Gap is closing a third of their stores nationwide.

    This comes as no surprise to me. I want to like Gap, I really do. Plaid walking shorts from Gap were a staple of my college wardrobe along with their side zip black skinny pants. But I can’t remember the last time I bought something there for myself. Dear Gap, where did it all go wrong?

    Secondly, I was dropping off a shirt at the drycleaners’ and was standing in line behind a man wearing a t-shirt that read, “I DRESS MYSELF”. I didn’t need the shirt to tell me that was the case because the fact he had on knee-high white socks with shorts told the whole story.

    Now for a few things I’ve found that you may or may not have some interest in knowing about.

    1. raking leaves striped asymmetrical cardigan

    I’m sure someday I’ll regret all the striped items I’ve accumulated in my closet over the last six months.

    2. coach tour dress in vert

    This is really cute, but it doesn’t really go with my life. I rarely wear dresses anymore because I just don’t. But if I were still working I’d totally buy this dress.

    3. brandee ruffle knit cardigan

    Love that this could just go on over a white t-shirt and some jeans.

    4. favorite lounge tee

    I’m always on the lookout for great pieces to layer under jackets or sweaters or just to wear on their own.

    5. tulle highlands wool peacoat

    I love a great camel-colored coat. So versatile.

    6. bb dakota zeke striped brown coat

    This has potential. I love the thought of it with skinny jeans and boots.

    7. two faced scarf

    Pretty scarf.

    8. taupe tribal top

    Love this top.

    9. mandarin navy jacket

    I thought this was really pretty.

    10. where there’s smoke dress

    Now I love this. Great with leggings or skinny jeans or tights with boots.

    That’s it for today.

    Hope y’all have a great Friday.

  • Our little elf

    Caroline was only a little over four months old when she celebrated her first Christmas. And naturally I felt like she needed some festive Christmas pajamas to mark the occasion so I bought her a pair that conveniently came with a little elf hat.

    Here’s my little elf on her first Christmas.

    Oh my heart.

    Those cheeks. And that expression. That’s the expression she made almost every moment of her first six months of life. Like she was an accountant in the middle of tax season. She was here to take care of business and had no interest in laughing at you or your silly bumblebee rattle.

    When I was out of town a couple of weeks ago, P texted me this photo of Caroline sleeping.

    That’s the same hat.

    Except she has now reached a level of sophistication that requires her to wear it as a hat/sleeping mask combo. Third grade can be exhausting and a girl needs her beauty sleep.

    Strangely, I find little comfort in knowing that her head hasn’t changed much in the last eight years because the rest of her is growing up way too fast.

  • And speaking of Spanish…

    Do you remember when I mentioned about two weeks ago that I’d gone to get a passport photo taken because my passport was about to expire? Not that I expect you to remember. I can barely recall it myself and it’s my life. But I do remember being kind of surprised that no one asked me why I needed a passport.

    I guess all my attempts to convey how glamorous my life really is have paid off. Of course I guess it’s obvious that a 40-year-old woman who spends an entire weekend by herself watching Season 1 of Army Wives on Netflix likes to live life in the fast lane.

    Well I Fedexed my passport renewal application, two new passport photos, and my old passport to the passport folks about two weeks ago. I assumed everything was fine until they called me on Monday to inform me that the State Department requested that I send in two additional passport photos.

    “But I sent in the required two passport photos. I’m the girl with the long hair who looks like she’s in the middle of asking ‘Where?'”

    They replied, “Yes ma’am. We received those photos but the State Department needs two additional photos.”

    “Why?”

    “We don’t know.”

    Okay. Thanks. That’s incredibly informative.

    So yesterday I went back to CVS to take yet another passport photo. I knew I was playing with fire to wear my hair back in a ponytail because I wore a ponytail in my original passport photo taken ten years ago and I have never looked worse. Ever. In fact, the bright side to this whole passport expiration has been the prospect of a better picture.

    I even wondered if the State Department needed an additional photo of me because the photo on my original passport was SO HORRIFIC that they didn’t believe the new photos I sent in two weeks ago depicted the same person. Maybe they thought there was some sort of international scam afoot involving an awkward girl with long hair who asks too many questions while getting her picture taken.

    But, thanks to yesterday’s passport photo retake, I can rest assured that Customs Officials everywhere will continue to be rendered speechless by the horror on my passport. Honestly, I don’t know that my self-esteem has ever taken a hit like the one it took yesterday when the lady at CVS handed me my new passport photos.

    The worst part is I walked in there feeling fairly good about myself. I had on makeup. And a cute jacket. It was the ponytail’s fault. Along with some unfortunate side-swept bangs that were too far to the side thanks to the humidity. In related news, my forehead is enormous.

    But (452 words later) none of that is important. What’s really important is why I suddenly need to have a passport.

    I’ve been invited to travel to Ecuador with Compassion International this November 7-12th. Needless to say, I am excited and scared and alternate between feeling like I can’t wait another minute to get my hands on those sweet Compassion kids and wanting to throw up. We’re going to spend a couple of days in Quito and then eventually make our way into the Amazon rainforest.

    Excuse me while I go throw up.

    Y’all. There are snakes there. And monkeys. Monkeys that aren’t in cages. And piranhas. Obviously Caroline is just sick that she’s not old enough to go with me because these things are her love language.

    But in spite of my fear and a lot of stepping outside my comfort zone, I am beyond excited to go on another Compassion trip. When I went to the Dominican Republic three years ago it changed a part of my heart forever. It humbled me and made me grateful in a whole new way. It also showed me that so many of us walk around in our first world comforts with a poverty of spirit these kids don’t have because they get that Jesus is everything. Not a new Wii or a fancy pair of boots.

    Humbling. Convicting. Life-changing.

    Shaun Groves and Patricia Jones will be our fearless leaders, along with our amazing photographer Keely Scott. The bloggers going in addition to me are Amanda Jones, Kelly Stamps, Ann Voskamp and Sophie.

    Y’all, there are so many times when I think about how silly blogging really is. I mean why do I feel like anyone cares that I started watching Army Wives this weekend? And that I can’t stop?

    But it’s moments like this when it all feels worth it. It’s about something bigger. It’s about these kids that could have so easily been forgotten but for Compassion International and their desire to give them hope and a future. My prayer is that you would follow our trip and consider sponsoring one of these kids if you haven’t already or even if you have. It doesn’t take much to change a life.


    So if you want to pray that the State Department approves my new, even more hideous photos, for safe travel and easy trip preparations, and that God would use our words to make a difference, it would be appreciated.

  • The big Columbus day fiesta. That’s Spanish for party.

    I took the day off from the blog yesterday so we could thoroughly celebrate Christopher Columbus Day in our traditional manner. We gathered as a family and made maps recreating the route Columbus most likely traveled on his way to discover the New World using all-natural materials we gathered on an early morning nature walk. And then we finished the evening with our individual interpretations of games that might have been played on the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria when they weren’t busy battling scurvy.

    Or maybe we just went to the large outdoor mall and took advantage of the all the sales going on in honor of Columbus’s brave voyage across the ocean and then ate leftover taco soup for dinner.

    I can’t really remember.

    On a related note, I’d like to think there was a moment in their treacherous voyage when they felt all might be lost and Columbus stood on the deck of the Pinta (or maybe the Santa Maria) and said, “My fellow travelers, take heart. If we survive this adventure we will be immortalized forever by future generations of this new country who will take a moment on the second Monday each October to buy sheets and towels at up to 50% off. Now everyone head to the Lido Deck for some shuffleboard.”

    Except he probably would have said all that in Spanish.

    If I cared about authenticity or knew how to write anything in Spanish beyond “El burro es un animal de Mexico” I would write the real version.

    Anyway, this weekend was a first for me. P took Caroline to the ranch with him for the whole entire weekend. Like they left on Friday around noon and didn’t get home until Sunday evening at 6:30 p.m. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

    Caroline had me put flowers in her hair before she left for the ranch because she wanted to make sure she looked pretty in the pictures after she shot a hog. Boys are never going to be able to figure her out. And that’s fine with me.

    I spent most of Friday afternoon shopping for a friend and then Gulley came over for what we like to call “wine time” on Friday night. We solved at least 62% of the world’s problems. Sadly we cannot help you with the remaining 38% although we are always willing to make something up.

    On Saturday morning I slept until the crack of 9:30 after staying up way too late watching School of Rock the night before. I don’t know why it always sucks me in, but it does. I blame Jack Black.

    I was debating what to do with my day of freedom when Gulley called to tell me she’d gotten the thumbs up to go shopping with me. And so we ventured out to the mall in search of fall clothes for Gulley. Which felt like the perfect way to celebrate the spirit of Columbus. The mall was packed and confirmed my belief that malls should really be avoided on the weekends, but we did find a few cute things.

    And then I went over to Gulley’s to watch the Aggie game because I enjoy her company and also because she’d made pulled pork for dinner. There were a few moments when I worried that the pulled pork might be the best part of the evening, but I am relieved to say the Aggies pulled out it and we beat tech. Hallelujah and amen.

    I made my way home around ten and was still wide awake. Which is how I ended up discovering the show Army Wives on Netflix. Y’all. I’m now a little obsessed with it. I’d nearly started watching it about six months ago but when I said something about it to Gulley she mentioned that Nena watched it and I didn’t really take that as a ringing endorsement.

    But late Saturday night I watched the first episode. And then the second episode. And I am officially hooked.

    Sunday morning I woke up to the sound of driving rain and rolled over in the knowledge that God loves me. There are few things in life I adore more than a rainy morning when I don’t have anywhere to be and, since we’ve been in the midst of a record-breaking drought, I can’t remember the last time that happened.

    It was delightful.

    I spent the rest of Sunday trying to get some writing done. Or maybe I spent it watching episodes of Army Wives. It’s all a vague memory now. But I am going to be so sad if something happens to Roxy’s husband. Please don’t tell me if you already know.

    And then before I knew it, my people were pulling up in the driveway. They were sleepy, dirty, and smelled of gunpowder and hogs but I’ve never been more glad to see them. Especially after they both had a shower.

    We all sat on the couch and spent the rest of the night catching up on all the weekend adventures. And I’ve never felt more grateful for Christopher Columbus. Because without him we might be living in Spain. Which would be really hard because I don’t speak Spanish.

    Except for the thing about the burro and how often does that come up?

  • Fashion Friday: Edition I would have so much to wear if it were cool outside

    I have to tell you a sad tale of fashion woe. A couple of weeks ago I featured the Free People Snow Nymph cape as part of Fashion Friday. And then I decided I really wanted to order it for myself, especially since I happened to have a gift card to Piperlime. Or actually BECAUSE I had a gift card to Piperlime.

    But it was sold out.

    Then on Wednesday I happened to be browsing around on Piperlime, looking for ways to spend my gift card, when I noticed that the Free People Snow Nymph cape was back. All they had was a medium but I figured it would work so I added it to my virtual cart.

    Then I got distracted, possibly watching this week’s episode of Rachel Zoe, and forgot to enter in my gift card information. And by the time I remembered, twenty minutes later, the Snow Nymph cape had been removed from my cart and was no longer available.

    While I realize this is a first world problem, I feel like there is also a cautionary tale here. The early gift card gets the Snow Nymph cape.

    Someone should put that on a pillow.

    But here are a few cute things I’ve seen this week that don’t involve snow nymphs or gift cards or sadness.

    1. olivia pleated dress

    My friend Kelly linked to The Blue Door Boutique on her blog earlier this week and I immediately fell in love. They have so many great things and post new stuff everyday on Facebook.

    It was hard for me to pick just one thing, but I really like this pleated dress. So cute on its own or over leggings or tights for winter.

    2. dover fort military jacket

    I’ve decided it’s never going to get cold this winter, but I’d like this coat just in case it does.

    3. buckled oxford boots

    Y’all. These boots are on sale for $59.95. And I kind of love them.

    I’m not sure that I need gray boots, but they have so much potential. Plus, they’re a steal. And you may also want to know that all sale items at Anthropologie are an additional 25% off.

    4. ribbed waist cargos

    I know. These have an elastic waistband. Old Navy is trying to fool us by calling it “ribbed”, but we can all see what’s going on there.

    I was feeling all judgmental about them until I actually tried a pair on and discovered they feel like butter. And they’re on sale for $19.95 this weekend. So with the money you save you can get a t-shirt that’s long enough to cover up that elastic waistband.

    5. different degrees maxi

    In theory I love this. Not sure about the horizontal stripes, but it looks like it would be delightful to curl up in and enjoy the 90 degree weather outside.

    6. fire lily burnt orange coat

    I saw this coat featured on The Today Show earlier this week and thought it was cute. Although I don’t wear burnt orange in the fall. But maybe you do.

    7. beaded statement bracelet

    I’m in love with these bracelets. I’d like to own them in every color combination. Not to mention they’re for a good cause.

    8. sweater stripe scarf

    I don’t know why I feel the need to pick things that look cozy. It’s hot here. It’s still so hot.

    9. yoga pants

    I’m always on the lookout for a good pair of yoga pants because, let’s be honest, it’s what I wear 87% of the time. These are really great and very flattering.

    10. ellassential cardigan

    I found this while I was scouring the Piperlime site making sure that the Snow Nymph cape was really gone. It’s a lightweight sweater by Ella Moss, but I think it’s probably the perfect thing to get a person through a South Texas fall and winter.

    Honestly, I’d probably get a lot more wear out of this than a Snow Nymph cape.

    That’s it for today.

    Y’all have a great Friday. If you need me I’ll be watching the first half of the Aggie game on Saturday night and then turning off the T.V.