Author: Big Mama

My love affair with jeans started in elementary school with my first pair of Luv-its. They had ice cream cones on the pocket and they looked fabulous with my white roller skates with the lime green wheels.

Enough said.

I had another pair of favorite jeans that got ripped on my swingset. I remember my mama taking me shopping to buy a patch for them. I chose a patch with a cartoon fox and the word “FOXY” written on it. Apparently, I understood the class and elegance the right fashion can convey, even at a young age.

Once I reached junior high, I discovered Jordache and then later, Guess jeans. I can’t believe I used to wear jeans that actually zipped at the ankle to create the tightest fit ever. Nothing like creating an ice cream cone silhouette to really flatter a figure.

Denim has been a constant in my life. I love jeans. They are probably the most essential piece of my wardrobe. You can dress them up, you can dress them down, you can cut them into cut-offs and dress like Daisy Duke for Halloween. What other garment gives you those kind of options?

Not many, my friends. Not many.

So, today is the day we will discuss jeans. I have long feared this day would come. The jeans issue is fraught with danger. Everyone has their preferences and their favorites. It’s like having children, but with more passion.

With that being said, the opinions stated here are just that. Opinions. They are my personal denim beliefs. The most important thing is finding a pair of jeans that you feel good in, and if I can help even one person accomplish that, then my life will be complete.

Well, not really, but y’all get what I’m saying.

There are several denim options to choose from this season.

Let’s start with the skinny jean.

Okay, I’m done.

Stay away from the skinny jean. It is not your friend. Unless you’re 6 feet tall and weigh 82 pounds, hence the name skinny jeans.

Next up, the trouser jean. This is a jean made out of a darker rinse denim, but is cut like a trouser. I think the key to wearing these jeans is to find a pair that aren’t too loose through the leg and have front pockets that don’t jut out at a funny angle. I tried on a darling pair of trouser jeans yesterday at Target.

At least I think they are darling. They didn’t have my size, so I had to try on one size larger. But from what I could tell, they are really cute. In fact, I called Sophie and told her about them. She ran up to her Target, tried them on, and purchased them. She said they fit really great.

Best of all, they cost $27.99. Which, for those of you not fooled by Target’s clever pricing scheme, is $28.00 plus tax.

So, if y’all need to find me tomorrow I’ll be scouring all the local Targets in search of the Mossimo trouser jean in my size. Because I have my priorities straight.

Here’s the link to the trouser jean at Target. Please note that they look much cuter in person. This picture doesn’t do them justice. In fact, this picture makes them look hideous, but I feel that I must provide the information anyway.

Now, if y’all are looking for just a regular pair of jeans, the sky is the limit. However, here are a few rules you should follow.

1. If the waist of the jeans sits on your actual waist, that’s too high. The only button sitting on your real waist should be the one God and your doctor gave you when you were born.

I’m not saying you have to be all Britney and have everything hanging out, that’s not good for anyone…especially the people behind you. You can find jeans that are cut lower in the front and higher in the back, which allow you to just say no to crack.

2. If they have pleats, run away. Far, far away.

3. Women with larger bottoms should look for jeans with larger pockets. If you have a small bottom, look for smaller pockets. And do not wear a pair of jeans if the pocket placement hits you below your actual bottom. No one wants to see a bottom on the back of your thighs. It’s not a good look.

4. Darker washes are more current. They don’t have to be indigo, but you don’t really want a real faded wash either. And stay away from the dirty washes. They look dirty.

5. Remember that you can have them altered. If you find a pair that fit great through the hips and thighs, but they’re too long, have them hemmed. If you find a pair that fit your bottom, but are too big in the waist, have them taken in. Most of these alterations are minimal and can be done for $10-20. The price of your sanity is worth it.

6. If you find a pair of jeans you like, you may want to buy 2 pairs in different lengths. That way you have a pair to wear with flats or tennis shoes and another pair to wear with heels or boots.

I personally like jeans that have some sort of stitching detail on the back pockets. Maybe it goes back to my childhood days of the ice cream cone pockets, but I think a little stitching detail makes even inexpensive jeans look a little more like designer jeans.

I resisted the allure of the designer jeans for a long time. It seemed ridiculous to pay more than $100 for a pair of jeans. I searched the world over or, you know, the mall, for a pair of reasonably priced jeans. I finally found some that I loved at Abercrombie and Fitch. They were so cute, but had one fatal flaw. They were made out of denim so thin that anytime I bent at the knee, they would rip.

I returned pair after pair of these jeans to Abercrombie and they were always kind enough or stoned enough to exchange them for me. (although they couldn’t figure out why I didn’t want torn jeans) Finally, I’d had enough. I had to search elsewhere for jean fulfillment.

This quest led to my first pair of 7’s for all Mankind.

They are pricey, but they are worth every penny. And here’s how I justify spending money on jeans, I wear them almost every day. If I amortized their price over a year, they’d end up costing around 50 cents a day.

Fifty cents a day.

I spend more than that on Sour Patch kids.

They feel so good and they have just a hint of stretch. In fact, over time they mold to your body and become better and better with age. Which is good news for me because I bought my pair back when I still had a job and now that I’m on a budget, I may never own another pair.

And here’s a hint. If you have a TJ Maxx or Marshall’s anywhere near you, you can often find high-end designer jeans for about half price. You have to dig through the racks, but they are there waiting for you to discover them. Also, Ebay can be your affordable high-end designer jean friend.

Now, if you’re not as much of a jean person or just need a jean in a lower price range, I like American Eagle jeans.

They are about $30.00 and come in a variety of washes and styles. Don’t let the adolescent vibe of American Eagle frighten you, I promise the jeans are a good buy.

And trust me, you’re better off walking into American Eagle than Abercrombie these days. The stench of cologne (at least I think it’s cologne) billowing from Abercrombie will cause you to pass out before you even clear the doors.

Mossimo at Target also has a premium denim line and there are some cute styles.

And a lot of people swear by Gap jeans.

But for me personally, Gap jeans haven’t worked for me since about 1994. I don’t know what happened. I try them every year thinking maybe they’ve changed, but alas, it appears this will be a permanent separation.

Oh, and don’t forget Old Navy.

Old Navy has some decent jeans, however, I will caution y’all that the quality isn’t always the greatest, so don’t go looking for a long term jean commitment. You’re going to get about one season out of them. Don’t fall in love or you will get your heart broken.

A few last things for today.

Jeana at Days to Come asked about stretch cords. I think a cute stretch cord can be a great denim-type every day option. One of my favorite winter outfits is my camel-colored cords with a denim jacket and boots. And a shirt. I wear a shirt under the denim jacket.

And don’t forget a cute denim skirt. Kit mentioned that she has a great A-line denim skirt and I am envious. I have long been on the quest to find a good denim skirt that hits right above the knee, but it is like the mythical unicorn. It has alluded me.

Also, J. Fergie from Mama Law mentioned cargo pants as a sweatsuit alternative. Great call. I love cargo type pants. They look great paired with a hoodie or a cute t-shirt. Plus, you can wear them with flip-flops or tennis shoes. They are what you call, versatile.

I know this is a lot of information, perhaps not all of it, or even most of it useful. The quest for jeans is not to be taken lightly, ladies. Everyone knows a good pair of jeans are the key to true happiness.

Just remember, perseverance pays off. And once you stumble upon that perfect pair, you might want to buy a few pairs of them. Good jeans aren’t like streetcars, they don’t come along everyday.

And if y’all have a brand you recommend, mention it in the comments. We’ve all got to work together.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I will address various questions and concerns that have come up in the comments this week.

Oh Ladies. There are some sisters out there crying out for some fashion help. And God love them, I don’t know that I’m the answer.

Honestly, I don’t even know where to pick up today. But here I go anyway.

Last week I watched “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style” on Bravo. I loved it. I love Tim Gunn and his innate sense of style and elegance. Plus, he gasped at the suggestion of leggings and teared up at the end of the show. What’s not to love?

Tim subscribes to the theory that every woman should have 10 essential pieces in her closet. And I kind of agree with that. However, I don’t necessarily agree on what those 10 pieces should be.

I don’t remember all 10 items, because I don’t remember most things that I heard over 3 hours ago, but here’s what I recall.

1. A great white shirt
2. A trenchcoat
3. A little black dress
4. A great pair of jeans
5. A sweatsuit alternative

And the last 5 I’m drawing a blank.

Obviously they were very important and relevant.

So, let’s start with the white shirt. I agree with him in theory. I see other women in white shirts and I think they look so crisp, so fabulous, so look-at-me-I-have-time-to-iron, but I am not one of those women. In fact, I saw this shirt at Ann Taylor and I adore it.

However, the dream sequence version of me in that shirt versus the real version, are two totally different things.

Dream Sequence Me = great hair day, crisp white shirt, laughing and talking with friends at a table in Starbucks

Real Me = I didn’t have time to iron this shirt, but I’ll wear it anyway because it’ll probably end up with a grape jelly stain on it within the next hour and why waste time ironing something that will need to be washed again anyway? Also, picture me tugging and pulling on the shirt, because that wrap feature that looks so cute on the model will either gape open or be pulled open by my child, exposing me to the free world.

I will confess that, over the years, my closet has seen many white shirts come and go. Each season I buy a new one, thinking surely this will be the one that will bring me lasting happiness. So far, they’ve all proved to be short term commitments. This season, I’m skipping the white shirt.

Moving on to the trenchcoat.

I love the look of a trenchcoat. It’s so polished and urban dweller-ish. Sleek and sophisticated. I love the idea of saying, “I’m walking out the door of my loft right now. Let me grab my trench coat.”

So, in short, not really a fit for my lifestyle. Plus, maybe it’s because I live in South Texas and we don’t have these things called “seasons”, but I haven’t really ever had the need for a trenchcoat. But if I did, this is the one I’d want.

Unfortunately, we don’t really have the disposable income for me to buy this coat because I like the idea of it.

But, may I propose the mama alternative to the trenchcoat is perhaps the sweater coat? Still cute, but a little more casual. And definitely more functional. Yet stylish.

Unless of course your trenchcoat includes all the handy features like the one worn by Inspector Gadget. In which case, carry on. (as Tim Gunn would say)

Next up, little black dress. I completely and totally agree. Every woman should have one nice black dress in her closet. If you find the right one, it can truly be an investment piece. Timeless and practical. It can take you from a funeral to a wedding. Even though if you’re from the South you were probably raised not to wear black to a wedding. Well girls, it’s a new day. If you want to wear black, wear black.

It’s so slimming.

Look at this dress.

You probably couldn’t wear this to a funeral. And really, y’all don’t want to know how much it costs. I just had to post it because I think it’s beautiful. Please know this dress in no way epitomizes what Tim Gunn probably means by a basic black dress. Think along more simple lines.

Like this.

It’s from Target and it’s $44.99.

I’m not even going to discuss jeans because, let’s face it, jeans are a hot, controversial topic. And because of that, jeans will get their very own post later in the week.

Which brings me to, Tim Gunn’s next item, the sweatsuit alternative. Wha??? I like my sweatsuit. Why do I need an alternative?

Truly, I was very interested to see what an alternative sweatsuit looked like. Would it have piercings and perhaps some hot pink streaks? Maybe a few tattoos?

Tim’s idea of an alternative sweatsuit was a cotton sundress with a sweater type thing thrown over it with some wedge heels. Honestly? It was dressier than what I wore to my last big social function.

And this is where I think the fashion world takes a huge misstep…well, other than gray jeans…isn’t there some kind of cute mama wardrobe that is easy and functional, yet doesn’t involve elastic waistbands?

I’m going to go out on a huge limb and say that women don’t really need a sweatsuit alternative, they need a sweatsuit. There is nothing wrong with wearing some comfortable athletic wear. Tim Gunn doesn’t understand that there are days when all you’re doing is going to the HEB, trying to manuever a gigantic red racecar, and doling out snacks to an angry toddler, while loading a 75 pound bag of dog food.

It’s not the time for an empire waist sundress. Find yourself a pair of yoga type pants and a cute track type jacket and go with it. Here’s an example based on my style preferences.

Now, if you’re still wearing any type of jogging pant that includes elastic at the ankles, may I suggest that you take a torch to those bad boys and get yourself to Oshmans to look for something a little more modern? Seriously, your circulatory system will thank you.

And no one understands the appeal of an out-of-date tracksuit more than me. My daddy wore a rust-colored, formerly velour, jogging suit up until the pants were at least 2 inches too short. He is a great dresser during the workday, but comfort is key for the weekend. However, ladies and gentleman, he is a cautionary tale of not letting comfort overrule basic common sense.

With that said, I will leave y’all to dwell on the sweatsuit alternative. I’d love to know if y’all have any thoughts on another solution. What do you wear on a daily basis? What’s the piece of your wardrobe you couldn’t live without?

And don’t worry, I’ll get to all the questions that have been raised. Before it’s all over we’ll delve into accessories, including the wide belt. As God is my witness, I won’t rest until our fashion issues have been put to rest.

In the last few weeks, I have received several emails from y’all asking my advice about some fashion issues, so I’ve decided to make this week “Fashion Week” at Big Mama. Each day I will address various fashion issues, so if there’s something you need to know, feel free to holla in the comments or shoot me an email.

Now, y’all may be asking what exactly qualifies me to write about fashion.

Well.

Absolutely nothing.

In fact, I hate to admit this, but last Tuesday I was grocery shopping when I realized I was still carrying my summer purse complete with white leather trim even though it was after Labor Day. And honestly, I tend to get a little judgemental about the whole no white after Labor Day thing but, at that moment in the HEB, I realized that first I must remove the white summer purse from my own shoulder before I judge the white shoes on someone else’s feet.

This led to a moment of repentance on the canned goods aisle.

And as soon as I got home, I removed the offending purse from my presence and switched to a proper fall bag.

Also, I feel a little funny giving out fashion tips because, honestly, on most days I am wearing some type of athletic type apparel which, truth be told, is more about comfort than my need to engage in any athletic type endeavor. Most days I am an episode of “What Not To Wear” waiting to happen.

But here’s the difference between me and those poor victims on the T.V. If someone dropped me within a 50 mile radius of a shopping center with $5,000 spending money, I would know how to spend it. I adore clothes. However, remember the $5,000 only buys the clothes, not the fabulous life to go along with all the clothes.

Being a mama is all about being practical sometimes. And as much as I love the way my jeans look when I wear them with boots with a 3 inch heel, it’s not necessarily the most practical playground look. No one will be admiring the added length of my legs if I’m curled up in the fetal position because I just sprained my ankle while attempting to traipse across the kiddie carpet mulch on the playground.

So, for those days on the playground, buy these.

Or these.

Or if you really want to go retro old school, these.

That being said, every woman needs a good pair of boots. They look great with everything and they are the perfect fall/winter shoe, in my opinion, because you can wear socks with them. Fashionable on the outside, warm and toasty on the inside.

And to address some of the boot wearing questions I’ve received, you can wear them under your jeans, over your jeans, with skirts, with dresses, and even (if you’re incredibly daring) with long shorts. They are the footwear gift that keeps giving.

Here are three different pairs of boots I love. They range in price, but not in style.

I mentioned these boots from Target in my Favorite Things last week. They are a great boot for the money. The nice thing is since they are suede (I’m guessing faux suede seeing as how they’re $36.99) they will look great under jeans, with skirts, or even with dress pants.

Now, I personally like more of a heel than this. I subscribe to the Posh Spice theory, which is that everyone looks better in a heel. Oh, the horror of finding yourself at a social function or being stopped by the police while wearing flats. But, if any of y’all want to be a little more practical and/or less concerned about adding height, this boot from Harold’s is a great example of a flat option. Pretty and practical.

And lastly, here are some boots from Banana Republic. I think these are beautiful. I giant heart them. The ones I love the most are called The Phoebe boot, but the computer powers that be over at the Banana kept thwarting my efforts to link to them specifically.

That is just one of a long list of my issues right now with The Gap, Inc. family of businesses. Why can’t I link directly? Why does my computer shut down every time I try to view these boots in Larger Image? Why does the Gap no longer sell attractive clothes but merely new versions of khaki pants in ill-fitting styles? What happened Gap? Where did you go wrong?

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get off on a personal tangent.

Back to boots. Look how cute they make this outfit look.

Seriously, from ordinary to extraordinary and it’s all because of the boots.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I will discuss Tim Gunn, the white shirt, and the trench coat.

I know. It’s an abundance of riches.

***Edited to add: All tennis shoes are from the Nordstrom’s website. I don’t know why I didn’t link to them. That’s what happens when you stay up way too late thinking about fashion.